


Diamond

by midnight_marimba



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Act 3 spoilers, Bigender, Circus, Complicated Relationships, Dancing, F/M, Fashion & Couture, M/M, Multi, Serena has a lot to learn, Sylvando is a leader, doctoring, pansexual Sylvando, two hands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-03-07 02:34:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 118,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18863968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_marimba/pseuds/midnight_marimba
Summary: Serena sets out on a quest to find a new purpose in life after saving the world.  When Sylvando invites her to travel together with him and his new circus troupe, she ignores her impractical crush and accepts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. There are spoilers here through the end of the game. If you’re not well past the Tower of Lost Time, you should probably not scroll down.
> 
> 2\. Pure Gay Sylvando is 200% Pure Awesome and there should be a billion more Pure Gay Sylvando fics. This Sylvando, however, lives somewhere besides an endpoint of both the gender & sexuality spectrums.
> 
> 3\. This fic is consistent with my other (shorter) works, Hero’s Voice and Smiles for Zwaardsrust. You might want to read [Hero’s Voice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18653860) first, because this one will eventually have some spoilers for it.
> 
>    
>  Edit to add **Content Advisory** :
> 
> This isn’t the grittiest possible story, but this Erdrea is not a utopia, either. There are many small communities with varying cultural norms. There are closets. There are ignorant, rude, prejudiced, or violent people mixed in with the rest. Some of them are treated as redeemable. 
> 
> This is also a story about doctoring, so there will be some (theoretically not too graphic) descriptions of injury and illness.
> 
> "Mature" romantic shenanigans are present but not shown in any explicit detail.
> 
> Further content warnings are included by chapter.

“We’ve been home for a while, Serena, and we’ve pretty well completed our life’s mission. So, what do you want to do?”

Serena tilted her head, looking at her twin. “Well, I was going to have another go at trying to make Auntie’s berry cobbler recipe this afternoon…”

Veronica sighed up at her. “Fine, and I’m sure you’ll manage one that’s not so runny sooner or later, but that’s not what I meant. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Or is it to start a bakery?”

“I...don’t really know. Try and live happily ever after, I guess.” Serena shrugged, uncomfortable with her lack of a more specific idea. She was an amateur baker at best. In fact, she was hardly expert at anything besides magical healing, and she certainly didn’t want to put Arboria’s existing healer or his successor out of a job.

“What, you ready to settle down and start a family? Is it Felix or Rufus who’s your prince in waiting?”

“Oh, stop.” Serena squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her fingers to her forehead.

That very morning, she’d accidentally surprised Felix when she had gone out to pick berries. He’d actually squeaked, and then as usual, he’d greeted her by title in a breathless voice. She wouldn’t mind if she never heard anyone say the words “Great Holy Sage Serena” ever again. Then shortly afterwards, she spotted him picking flowers a little distance away, casting surreptitious glances in her direction. She’d grabbed a last handful of berries and fled. And Rufus was even more flustered and worshipful in her presence.

“Uh huh.” Veronica gave her a small smile and shook her head. “Well, I was thinking, I’d like to spend some time in the Royal Library, since Frysabel granted us lifetime access. See if I can’t dig up some new kinds of magic. There’s probably no one alive who’s better than me at offensive magic, but I could stand to branch out a little.”

“My sister, brilliant yet still ever so humble.”

“Yeah, yeah. So, do you want to come? There’s probably stuff on healing and whatnot in there, too. I bet Doc wasn’t able to teach you everything anyone has ever written about that. Or some sheet music. Or adventure novels.”

“Hmm. Are you sure you don’t just want someone to come along to pull books off of the high shelves for you?”

“Very funny, sister dear. Although, now that you mention it, yes, that would be a help, at least until I figure out levitation. So good of you to offer!”

Both sisters laughed, and Serena capitulated. “Okay, okay! Let’s go to the Library. I could stand to read about some herbalism, and music, and so on. We can start out tomorrow.”

  


* * *

  


The comfortable room in the heart of the library accumulated larger and larger stacks of books and papers as days passed, and then weeks. Today was a day with little to distinguish it from the ones prior.

Serena yawned, a little more loudly than was polite.

Veronica looked up from between the piles of books spread across the table. “What, already? We just ate lunch.”

“Sorry. It’s just...I think I’m going to go for a walk.”

“Suit yourself.” Evidently judging the obligation of sisterly concern fulfilled, Veronica dropped her nose directly back into her book of the moment, absently tapping the end of her note-taking pen on the table. Something about architectural magic, if Serena remembered correctly. Or the agricultural magic one. Her sister would ramble on excitedly whenever Serena forced her to stop for meals, but it was getting hard to keep track. Or even pay proper attention, these days.

Serena stretched as she left the room at the heart of the library, and began the trek downstairs. Something ducked away into the shadows as she passed by, and she gave a lazy wave without stopping. “Good afternoon!”

No answer. Not that there was ever an answer. The creatures that lived in the library had become submissive and shy now that the dark influence had left the land, and the first day they arrived, Veronica had put on a show involving fire and shouting, which seemed to be enough to terrify the locals into giving them a wide berth through the weeks that followed. She wasn’t sure if they’d stayed close enough to hear Serena scolding her sister for using fire in a library, or Veronica scoffing at the notion of setting something on fire by accident at this point in her life.

The sun was shining when Serena stepped outside, and she smiled a little at the wildflowers gracing the Snaerfelt summer. But even the lovely scenery failed to quell her feeling of restlessness today.

“What’s the matter, Serena?” she asked herself aloud. “It’s a beautiful day. We found those delicious herbs yesterday, so lunch was excellent. That new harp piece, that Mermaid’s Song, is coming along. I really think you can get it without fumbling any notes next time if you take it slow. You’ve learned a lot about medicine, with a million more books waiting for you. And...you’re talking to yourself. Oh, dear.”

She rubbed her head and let out a sigh, realizing the problem. She loved her sister, but she missed being around other people, especially when Veronica was so absorbed in her research. Other scholars had come in a couple of times, but they too were focused on books, not people. Serena missed their traveling companions especially, but she’d welcome traveling to different towns and meeting the locals again. Arboria was better than this kind of isolation, but it too felt a lot smaller to her these days than it had before she went on her adventures.

She walked rings around the library, thinking it over, and finally broached the subject over dinner.

“Hey, Veronica?”

“Uh huh?”

“I was thinking. I think, well...I think we should take a vacation.”

“What, already?”

“It’s been six weeks! And six days.”

“Well, not in a row. We've gone home twice in the past two weeks, now that the cliffs aren’t so much work. We’re going back home tomorrow.”

“Yes, but...I was thinking we should go visit Sniflheim.”

“Oh. Okay, if you want.”

“And I...um.”

Veronica gave her a questioning look.

“I think maybe I need a break from the library.”

“You already said you want a vacation.”

“I…” Serena bit her lip and looked down. “Veronica, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I don’t think I can stay here for such a long stretch. I know you love it here, but I think I need to do something else. Um, I was thinking, I could take a couple of the duplicate medical texts with me, and go meet with the healer in town? Trade knowledge, see if I can help out a bit with the locals. And, um. Maybe I might like to keep traveling to other towns? And keep doing the same thing? Wh-what is it?” She stumbled into silence upon finally glancing up to notice her sister smiling hugely at her.

“I think that’s a great idea. I’ll miss you, of course, but I’m really happy you’ve come up with something you want to do for yourself. It’s been kind of obvious that this isn’t the life for you. Don’t think I haven’t heard you talking to yourself lately. And I saw you fall asleep reading, the past three afternoons.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you aren’t upset. And...I will miss you,” Serena said, suddenly tearing up.

“Hey, none of that. You’ll get me going, too. Look, I’m sure I spotted something in that manifest about long-range communication, so maybe I’ll have a go at researching that for a while. In the meantime, you just write me letters, like we do for our friends, and see that you let me know where you’re going. And of course, I’ll come with you to Sniflheim. You did promise me a vacation, you know.”

That night, Serena went to bed thinking of a new class of peaceful adventures waiting to happen, and daydreaming of coincidentally meeting old friends on the way. The Luminary, Jade, Rab, and Hendrik were probably not on the move in this part of the world, being less than a year since they had all parted ways, unless there was a diplomatic visit to Sniflheim in the works. Erik and Mia? Maybe. Although Erik didn’t seem to have the fondest memories of the area, so who knew if their adventures would ever bring them back north. Sylvando, though. His letters had him traveling with a circus. That could happen.

She fell asleep smiling, picturing Sylvando dancing.

  


* * *

  


Her daydream proved prophetic, as she heard an unfamiliar sound of horns playing while they approached their hometown the next afternoon. The sisters glanced at each other, then picked up their pace by mutual accord, and found themselves in range to hear an unfamiliar, melodic voice calling out from the center of town, with a faint accent that Serena couldn’t immediately place.

“Come one, come all! Witness feats that will astonish and delight the senses! One night only! The circus appears here, this evening at dusk! Guaranteed to leave you smiling for weeks! Come and see the true master of the arts! The one! The only! The Great Sylvando!”

The sisters broke into a run together, and arrived a little out of breath in front of the short, red-clad barker by the fountain.

“Where is he?” Veronica got out first.

“The Great Sylvando?” Serena added. Veronica snorted.

“O-ho, fans, eh? Oh…” The round man squinted at them from under the brim of his hat. “Are you, by chance, Veronica and Serena?”

“The two, the only.” Veronica smirked.

“In that case, head on out to the northwestern grove. He’ll be with the rest of the group, setting up camp.”

“Thank you!” Serena gave him a nod and a smile as the pair turned and dashed off again.

They came around the bend to find a small cluster of tents being set up by a few brightly garbed people, and she felt her anticipatory smile stretch until her face hurt as she laid eyes on their old friend kneeling to hammer in a tent stake.

“Oi!” shouted Veronica. In one fluid motion, Sylvando set down the hammer and spun to his feet to face them, arms extended dramatically, and the tails of his familiar jester costume were set to swinging.

“Oh, my darlings! It’s so wonderful to see you both!” he exclaimed, and as they skidded to a halt in front of him, Serena found herself wondering if the arms were a prompt for a hug, and she leaned in a little too far to not be offering a hug herself before she figured it out, and then she found herself wrapped up in a Sylvando embrace for only the second time. He was as warm and solid as she remembered, and she felt the same zing she’d tried to rationalize away the last time, and then he was turning and leaning down to offer Veronica the same.

“Did you just get in today?” she asked to cover up her sudden flustered feeling, and she hoped if she was flushed it could be explained by the running.

“That’s right. I tried to send a letter ahead, but then in Sniflheim they asked us to carry the mail up here with us, and there it was in the mix.”

“I’m glad we caught you, then! We’ve been camping out in the Library, you see, and we just got back.”

“Ooh, the Library? Knowing you two, you’ll have found some absolutely fascinating things to tell me about. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

“Well! I can do this, now!” Veronica concentrated, floated a foot up into the air, then struck a dramatic pose of her own.

“Ooh! Incredible!” Sylvando applauded enthusiastically. “Have you considered a career in the circus, honey?”

“Ha! Maybe when I’m old. I have too many things left to learn about right now. Did you know there used to be magicians who built sculptures with magic? I’m starting to think that’s how they did the statue of Serenica up there.”

“Really? What a remarkable notion! But, one moment, can I offer you some tea and pastries? I recall Serena having a fondness, so I thought I’d stop at a bakery this morning in the city before we came on up.”

“Oh, dear, Sylvando. You’re too thoughtful.”

“Not at all. It’s no more than you deserve. Let’s make ourselves comfortable and Veronica can tell me about these artist wizards.”

Serena let her sister expound on discovery after discovery, pleased to let her share with a new target, and meanwhile spent the afternoon watching Sylvando act as a one-man appreciative, wide-eyed and enthusiastic audience.

“But Serena, darling,” Sylvando suddenly turned to her during a momentary lull. “I’ve hardly heard anything from you. How are you liking the life of a scholar?”

“Oh, well…I’ve learned a lot, too, I suppose. I found some books of herbs, and learned a bunch of new ways to treat various chronic diseases, for which my magic has never been terribly useful. Although, a number of the ingredients are things I’ve never heard of, and I don’t know if I’m just ignorant, or if the books are so old that they had different names for common herbs back then. So I do have a lot more to learn.”

“But…” prompted Veronica.

“But?” asked Sylvando.

“Um. But I actually decided just yesterday to take a bit of a break, myself. We were thinking of heading down to Sniflheim for a vacation this week.”

“Oh, how marvellous! We could travel together, darlings! And I’ll give you free admission to the show! Of course, you’ll see most of it tonight, but there’s not quite enough room to put up the big tent here, and we did want to do our little thank-you for the good people of Arboria for their help in saving the world and all, without making all your dear elders trek all the way down the mountain to have a bit of entertainment. That area in the middle of town does make a beautiful amphitheater. But there are a few little surprises we’ll have at the other location. Ah, that is, if you’re interested.” Sylvando paused, fingers pressed to his lips, and his eyes wide, looking worried.

“Of course, we’re interested!” Serena exclaimed. “I’ve been looking forward to watching you perform for a long time, Sylvando. We’ve never actually gotten a full show without distractions, you know, and I really did want to see it start to finish, even back in Gallopolis, before we even knew what a wonderful performer you are.”

“Oh, my, you’ll make me blush.” Sylvando pressed his palms to his cheeks, smiling. “Well, I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations, honey.” He looked up at the sky abruptly. “Speaking of which, I’m going to have to send you off so we can get ready, here. Thank you both for a marvelous afternoon, and I’m so looking forward to catching up some more on the road tomorrow. Make sure you come on down when you hear the music start playing!”

  


* * *

  


The evening passed too quickly, in Serena’s opinion.

The village had used the stairs for seating before, but never for so grand a performance. Colorful tubes of cloth wound around tree branches that were hung up to set off the boundary of the stage area. The heavy braziers had been rearranged and set alight, so as the sun faded from the sky, everything was still lit up as bright as day, and Serena gasped when the music started up again and Sylvando emerged from the small tent set back between two pillars wearing a new outfit featuring a deep blue tunic that somehow sparkled in the light, with a narrow vee ending halfway down his chest, and ending in dozens of tails weighted down by small silvery discs that shone against the dark gray of his leggings. As she watched him move into center stage and open the show with an elaborate dance, accompanied by two other performers wearing paler shades of blue, sans sparkles, she thought the effect of the discs was not unlike the puffs on his favored jester’s outfit, except these seemed to fly out a bit more energetically when he spun, and they clattered together softly as a counterpoint to the music.

Then there was leaping, tumbling, juggling. Balls, knives, double-ended torches. Serena held her breath when Sylvando started sending a stream of alternating knives and torches to either side of himself, passing them to the man and woman in blue at the ends of the stage without even looking at them, and then seamlessly switching the paths so all the knives were sorted to the left and torches to the right. Then he sent the knives went one by one over his shoulder into the cloth tubes, again without turning to look, cutting them open and releasing clouds of pink and white flower petals as a fluttering backdrop. This earned an “oooh” from the audience that fit into a long note of the accompanying music like a chorus of singers, and meanwhile each torch flew to each different member of the circus troupe, including two latecomers who jumped forward from the shadows behind the stage. She couldn’t be certain, but thought Sylvando looked right at her at the end of this display, with a wink as he caught the last torch for himself, and then all five performers spun into another dance, perfectly in sync, letting the torches trace graceful arcs of light to complement their movements.

Serena stood with the rest of the audience when the show concluded, clapping and cheering, and she grinned at the shared delight on the faces of her parents and others around them. When the performers came back out to mingle with the crowd, she drifted forward with her family, smiling at one of the unfamiliar men in blue. “Wonderful work!” she told him. “Really, it was excellent.”

“Thanks, miss! I’m so delighted you had a good time!” He beamed and waved, and turned to beckon a neighbor boy who was bashfully peeking out from behind her father’s bulk. Serena smiled and pulled her parents out of the way, and then she looked up and Sylvando was there.

“Hello, darlings! Well? Was it everything you hoped for?”

“Oh, Sylv, that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!” Serena exclaimed.

He raised his eyebrows and waved a hand at his face. “Goodness, honey, two such nice things to say in one day? Maybe I had better start taking lessons from you in how to make people smile.”

“She’s not wrong, you know,” her father interjected. “I don’t believe this town has ever seen a performance so fine as that.”

“Oh, my, darling, now I see where she gets it from. You are, of course, the lovely parents of our dear Serena and Veronica. I do remember you.”

“They didn’t tell us they were traveling with such an artist, when we last met you,” her mother added. “Everyone was excited about the Luminary at the time, of course, but they have spoken since then about how much they enjoyed your company on the road.”

“Well, the feeling was quite mutual. I have to admit, while returning to the circus has been like going home for me, I do rather miss our little band of travelers, gallivanting about the world together.”

“Speaking of which, do you remember which house is ours?” Serena asked, pointing. “If you want to come by after dawn, you could join us for breakfast before we head out.

“Ooh, home cooking? Well if that’s all right with all of you, then certainly! I would be delighted.”

“Good.” Serena felt her smile stretching wider again. “Well, I’m sure you must be exhausted after all that, so we’ll get out of your hair. See you tomorrow, Sylv!”

“Goodnight, darlings.” He gave them a little wave, then turned as a pair of teenage boys spotted their opportunity and surged forward to greet him.

Following her father inside their home, Serena stretched, still smiling, then turned around to find her mother and sister looking at her with matching small smiles. “What?”

“Nothing!” they chorused. Her mother turned to climb the stairs, humming a bit of melody from the show, and Veronica stood, hands on hips, smile going on smirk.

“Nothing? With that face, Veronica?”

Her sister grabbed her hand and pulled her to sit down so that her ear was at a height to hear the mode of speaking they had developed together as young children to be able to speak to each other without anyone else overhearing or understanding, a quiet murmur that blurred the edges of words.

“How long have you had a thing for Sylv, then, sister dear?”

“What?! How...That’s not…I don’t...” Serena frowned at her sister’s smug look, her own sense of euphoria from the day suddenly deflating a little in irritation. “Look, maybe I am a fan, okay, in addition to his being our good friend. But, really, can you imagine him and me together?”

“Why not?”

“Why...Look at me. I’m entirely average, not to mention rather shy and clumsy. He’s beautiful and made for the stage. I can put on a nice dress and do all right, but I’d still be like a sparrow hanging around with a peacock. Of course he’s friendly to me, because he’s Sylv, but I highly doubt he would ever come up with romantic feelings for someone so mundane as myself.”

“Mundane? The Great Holy Sage Serena?”

“Stop that! I should think he’s familiar enough with us that he won’t go on about that, and don’t you dare try to start him joking about it.”

“I just don’t think you should give up so easily as that. You’re not...”

“There’s no giving up! There’s nothing happening in the first place!”

“Okay, okay! I’ll leave it alone, sister mine.”

“Good.”

“Just don’t give up so fast if you do change you mind later.”

“Veronica...”

“Love you, sister dear!” Veronica dodged her attempt at a light shove and skipped up the stairs.

  


* * *

  


As she lay awake that night, Serena thought again of the hug and that little zing. It was there the first time, too, when they were saying their goodbyes, and she’d told herself it was just because he was the last of the group that she got to hug before Cetacea flew away. Of course that one would stick out in her memory. And today, well, he was practically the first person she’d seen besides family for more than a month. And a dear traveling companion, to boot. One of the heroes who saved the world. Of course she was excited to see him. And who wouldn’t like a hug from him. He smelled like flowers.


	2. Chapter 2

Determined not to overthink things and just to enjoy the day, Serena regained her good cheer and retained her dignity over breakfast with Sylvando and her family the following morning, even lasting through her mother tearing up over her departure.

“Serena, dear, do be careful, won’t you?”

“Mother, I’ll be fine. The roads aren’t dangerous anymore, and the city is perfectly peaceful.”

“I know, I know. It’s only, you haven’t really been on your own, before, so I worry. But don’t mind me. You’ll be fine, of course you will.”

Outside, Sylvando tilted his head at her curiously. “What was that all about back there? I thought the two of you have been on your own for long stretches at the Library, not to mention your journey to find the Luminary and all. Is a vacation to Sniflheim so much more dramatic?”

“Hmm? Oh! We never did finish telling you our plans, did we?”

“‘Our’ plans?” Veronica interjected.

“Well, mostly mine, I suppose. It’s just, I was getting a bit stir-crazy up there in the library for so long, so I thought I ought to go spend some time in the city. I was thinking I ought to try to meet up with the local healer and spend some time learning from them, maybe share a few things I picked up myself, see if I could help out, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, darling, what a marvelous idea! But, that means you’re setting out on your own, then, and Veronica…?”

“Yep, I’m just there for the vacation. I’ll be heading back to the library soon enough.” Was that a catch in her voice? Serena looked down at her sister, a small crease forming on her forehead. Veronica fidgeted with her hat and sniffed. “About time she figured out her own path. Have I mentioned, she’s always been a touch slow?”

“Veronica...”

“I see. So, two sisters going separate ways, having their own grand adventures, looking forward to the moment when they can rejoin each other and share the tales of their exploits? Sounds like a fine story.”

Serena found her smile again at that, and caught a flash of the same from Veronica.

“Where’s the rest of the circus?” asked Serena curiously.

“They went on ahead with most of the gear.” He touched the pack slung over his shoulder, short tent posts sticking out. “One of our number is due to rendezvous with the rest of the group with a cart at the bottom of the cliffs. We may catch up with them before they finish loading it.”

When they approached the cliffs that broke up the path, Sylvando looked at them questioningly. “I can make it down, but shall I offer any assistance?”

Veronica gave him a smug smile. “No sweat. Want a ride?”

Serena already stood at the cliff edge, and Veronica cast the lesser form of the levitation spell for her. As they’d determined with careful experimentation, it lasted long enough for her to gently float all the way down. Serena smiled and waved up at Sylvando as he leaned over the edge to watch her descend, hands clasped with evident delight.

Only an instant after she landed, she sensed the pulse of her sister’s magic firing again and saw Sylvando launch himself off the cliff in slow motion. He leaned forward as though he was diving into a pool of water below, ending upside down for several seconds. Then he swung his limbs as he curled into a ball and somehow managed to spin into a series of slow somersaults. At last, he reached the ground and landed perfectly on his feet, arms raised in an acrobat’s declaration of victory and smiling hugely.

Serena applauded obligingly. “It’s ever so much easier to get down that way, isn’t it? Well, maybe not for you. But it saves us a lot of time and effort, and she can use the stronger levitation to get us up again. It’s made popping back home for a visit much simpler.”

“I can imagine. We brought ladders and made a day of it, coming up.”

Veronica landed beside them, hands on her hips. “Trust you to figure out a way to show off while I’m trying to show off, Sylv.” But she smiled.

They caught up to the cart by mid-morning. Sylvando greeted the troupe and exchanged his pack for an empty sack. 

“We’ll want some more flowers,” he explained to the twins, and they followed him into the fields a little bit away from the cart. “You could use dried ones for the knife trick in the wintertime, but I think they’re prettier fresh. Plus, it’s such a hassle trying to keep them from breaking up, dried, and then they do take up a certain amount of space. Especially since you can’t very well reuse them after a show like that. Even if you can round them back up, no one likes dust and sweepings to fly around in the air with their flower spectacle.”

“Hmm. I never would have thought of that,” Serena said. “You know, the pink ones make a good tisane for soothing a sore throat, but only fresh. Or you can make a syrup, to keep it longer, but I’ve never tried.”

“Reeeally?”

“Yep. Just steep about, hmm, a handful? Well, one of my hands full. Start with boiling water, and let it cool until it’s drinkable.”

“Darling, I shouldn’t be surprised by your little nuggets of wisdom by now, but I am. Samir, that’s our barker and musician, will be thrilled to try it. He usually uses tea with honey after a long day bringing in customers, but I do believe he gets a teensy bit tired of the same thing time and again.”

“So long as you don’t give him floor sweepings in it, eh?” added Veronica.

“Indeed, Ronnie darling, I’ll have to save your version strictly for revenge tea.”

“Ha!”

Serena laughed, warmed through by the camaraderie and the sunshine.

As they came up near the city entrance, Sylvando drew them to a halt. “Hold up, darlings. I’m going to have to let you go for a while, since we do need to turn off here and set up for tonight’s show. Which will be over thataway, since there’s more room than in the city proper. You’ll see the big tent. But let’s get you some tickets first. Supposing you’re not sick and tired of us yet?”

“Of course, Sylv, we’d love to see it,” Serena said, and pretended not to hear a low chuckle from Veronica.

“Wonderful. Franciiine!” he called to the incoming wagon. “Be a dear and break out a couple of tickets for our friends here, will you?”

One of the women seated in the back of the wagon among the folded tents stood up and planted her hands on her hips. Serena recognized her as one of the performers from the previous evening, now wearing a simple but elegant tan leather dress, with a mass of dark hair in the artfully tousled fashion Serena always secretly envied when she saw it.

Francine pursed her lips as the wagon bounced to a halt, though she didn’t seem bothered at all by the rough motion of her conveyance. “Sylv, we’ll never turn a profit if you keep giving away all the tickets for free.” She eyed the twins with narrowed eyes.

“Oh, Francine, I told you all that was a one time deal. Well, and maybe once more when we make it down to Cobblestone, but that won’t be for a while. Besides which, it’s coming out of my pocket, not yours. This is just an exception for some old friends.”

“Sylv, it’s all right. We can pay for the tickets,” Serena said, reaching for the purse on her belt.

“No way, honey. This is my treat. Francine, if it makes the books happy, here.” Sylvando waved a hand and produced a set of coins between his fingers before flinging them one after another to Francine, who snatched each one out of the air with the same hand, somehow made them vanish, and then produced a pair of tickets from nowhere with the other hand. Suddenly she turned on a blinding smile and bent double at the waist to lean out of the cart towards them. “Sorry about that, sweeties. Do enjoy the show,” she said, handing down the tickets to Serena with a flourish.

“All right, now that’s settled. I’m off, darlings. Make certain I see you before we part ways for long. We’ll be around for at least a week, assuming we don’t get ourselves run out of town. But tomorrow morning wouldn’t be too soon if you want to come by our camp.” With that, Sylvando vaulted up into the back of the departing cart, blew them a kiss with a wink, and gracefully spiraled into a seated position in the last empty space between folded tents and people, elbows hanging over the side of the cart as he greeted his comrades there.

Serena watched them go until Veronica tugged on her hand. “Come on, let’s go get some lunch. That Francine’s a real charmer, huh?”

“Well, I do feel a little bad. This is their livelihood, right?”

“Oh, come on. You think Sylv’s not loaded? You’ve seen his boat, right?”

“Well...Maybe.”

“Anyway, speaking of livelihoods. I was thinking after lunch, even though we’re on vacation, you should probably go track yourself down a healer pal first thing, because they’re going to want a bit of time to come to terms with a guest healer, aren’t they? Give them a little grace period, and we can have our fun in the meantime.”

“Ah, good thinking, Veronica.”

“What’s new? But it’s all right, I don’t mind you telling me.”

Serena smiled. “Silly sister of mine.”

  


* * *

  


The local healer was named Heather, and her porch was shaded and a little cool in the afternoon breeze. Serena fidgeted, waiting. And waiting some more.

Finally, the door opened. An elderly man shuffled out without looking up, and Healer Heather’s face reappeared behind him.

“Okay, young lady with not-an-emergency, you’re head of the line now, so come on in. Make yourself comfortable. What seems to be the problem?” she asked as she closed the door behind them.

“Oh, I don’t have a problem. I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Hmm. Let me guess, there’s a young man.”

“What? N-no, I…”

“Oh, sorry, that’s usually where that conversation is headed. Carry on, then.”

“I…” Serena shook her head, disconcerted. “I wanted to ask, well, I’m a bit of a healer myself, see. And I’ve been doing some research lately, but I thought I could learn a lot more by visiting with other healers, and maybe trading some information…” She trailed off at Heather shaking her head.

“Dear, I’ve already got two children mad to follow in dear old mum’s footsteps. I don’t really have time or inclination to take on another apprentice.”

“Oh. Well, I didn’t mean an apprenticeship, exactly. I can do all right, I just thought it would be good to see if I can pick up a few things, maybe share a few notions…”

“Young lady…” Heather gave Serena a look that made her feel a little uncomfortable, as if she were a spider in the sights of a tired housewife with a broom. “I’ll give you this tip for free. Part of being a healer is projecting confidence. If you don’t sound like you know what you’re talking about, folks won’t trust you and they won’t take your medicine the way you tell them to. Even if you really can do ‘all right’, you’re going to have to figure out how to sell it better than that.”

“Oh…” Serena swallowed, taken aback.

“In any case, if there’s nothing else...”

“I...Okay. Sorry to take up your time.”

“That’s all right. You take care now.”

  


* * *

  


She found Veronica in the city’s small architectural library. “I thought we were on a vacation from libraries,” she said, trying for a more cheerful tone than she felt.

“We’re on vacation from a library. This is a different library. And you were busy, anyway. What happened?” Veronica looked up at her with concern, seeing straight through her false cheer. Veronica read her like a book, as always. Serena grimaced.

“She sent me away. Said she has too many apprentices and no time. And that I wasn’t confident enough. I don’t think she believed I was any good.”

Veronica stared for a moment, then abruptly shut her book. “Well, fine. Her loss. Come on, we can get a snack on the way over to the circus.” She grabbed Serena’s hand and dragged her outside. “Our vacation is starting now, and we’ll worry about the rest later.”

A dose of caramel corn and the sight of the circus tent did a good deal to bring her spirits up, and she found herself able to fall into the circus performance as deeply as the prior evening. 

Today, there was a thin woman who proved to be a contortionist in addition to a dancer. Serena thought she might have been the cart driver, though she hadn’t managed to memorize all the faces among the troupe. The woman took the stage alone for a time, and Serena found her slow, graceful movements almost as mesmerizing to watch as she did Sylvando.

Late in the show, the crowd gasped and Serena laughed aloud in delight when a curtain was pulled aside and two small dragons appeared, being ridden by the two performers with the smallest builds. Trust Sylvando to take a utilitarian solution they’d found on their journeys for reaching high places and turn it into a spectacle to entertain the masses. The dragons and their riders rose to the ceiling of the high tent and proceeded to dive and spin through a series of flaming hoops, some of which were suspended in the air, and some of which the ground-bound crew tossed into the air for them.

The juggling and dancing finale was the same, and this time she managed to tear her eyes away from center stage for a few seconds to appreciate the rest of the group, recognizing Francine by her hair, and the slight man and woman who had ridden the dragons. They were quite talented themselves, she thought, but then her eyes drifted back across Sylvando and stuck there.

  


* * *

  


That night, Serena found herself going on about the circus to her sister, until she noticed Veronica talking less and less, and she started to wonder if this was how Veronica felt in the library when Serena’s attention span began to wane. “Anyway, what was your favorite new part?” she tried.

“I already told you, the dragons. You know, you really love the circus.”

“Well, sure, I guess I do.”

“Like, really love it.”

“Mm.”

“You should probably run away and join up.”

“Oh, hush.” Serena rolled her eyes at her sister. “I’m sure I’d be some kind of spectacle, anyway. Maybe I can catch knives by standing in front of them and healing myself afterwards.” She pressed her lips together with a sudden pulse of remembered embarrassment. “That’d be sort of like making my healing useful.”

“Oh, Serena.” Veronica reached up and hugged her around the waist. “Like I said, it’s her loss. You’re the best healer I’ve ever seen.”

“How many have you seen? Has anyone else ever even healed you?”

“Uh. Sure, Rab and...That’s not the point. Look, maybe you’re just going to have to try further afield. I don’t really think you should give up and join the circus. Although...hmm.”

“Hmm what?”

“Nothing, nevermind.”

“That’s your plotting ‘nothing, nevermind’.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Is too.”

“Definitely isn’t. And anyway, you know my plots are both secret and unstoppable, so it’s a moot point.”

Serena gave a small laugh, cheered up a little. “Whatever you say, sister dear. And, thanks.”

  


* * *

  


The next morning, Serena dragged her feet a little as Veronica burst out of the inn ahead of her. The small mage gained a good four paces before looking over her shoulder and then spinning around to face her sister.

“Come on, slowpoke! I figured you’d be the one charging over to the camp and leaving me eating your dust. What’s up?”

“I...don’t know if I feel like going over right now.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, you know, he’s going to ask how it went, and…”

“And he’ll listen, and be sympathetic, and figure out a way to cheer you up. It’s classic Sylvando. Come on.” Veronica grabbed her hand and hauled her forward until she gave in and picked up her pace.

  


* * *

  


“Oh, darling.” Sylvando reached over and laid a hand gently on her arm. “Don’t take it so hard. Do you know, I got turned down the first time I asked to join the circus.”

“Really?” asked Veronica. “That’s hard to picture, now.”

“Oh, I was all puffed up pride and confidence, then.”

“As opposed to…”

“Veronica!”

Sylvando chuckled. “With not enough to back it up in terms of the kinds of skills that they were looking for. I was passable with knife throwing and keeping my balance, I suppose, but not as good as the crew they already had.”

“So what did you do?” asked Serena.

“I ended up following that circus for weeks, pestering the performers into showing me tricks here and there between shows. I think they got used to me, and finally the ringmaster found me sleeping in the bushes near their wagon, rolled her eyes at me, and told me I could have some space in a tent at night if I helped with mending and hauling.”

“Wow. You must have really loved the circus,” Veronica said. Serena, seated on the low crate next to her, lightly kicked her shoe.

“Believe it or not, honey,” Sylvando said exaggeratedly, as if revealing a shocking secret, “I really did. And do.” He smiled, the one where his eyes crinkled up at the corners, and Serena realized she was mirroring it again.

“Speaking of joining the circus,” Veronica began, and ignored Serena’s sharp glance. “I was thinking. Maybe Serena could hitch a ride when you leave town. Go find a better colleague in the next city.”

Serena blinked and opened her mouth but couldn’t figure out anything to say.

Sylvando had no such problem. “Oooh, honey! Will you? It would be just like old times! Well, almost. We are a teensy bit crowded, so you’d have to share a room with the girls on the ship, but if you don’t mind that, there’s plenty of room, however far you want to come along.”

“I...wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

“Nonsense! You are surely the least bothersome person I have ever met in my life. After the size of the bother that I am myself, you may spend all your time actively trying to be a bother, and no one will notice.”

Serena laughed.

“Well, Serena?” Veronica asked. “Go traveling with the circus. It gets you to another big city, and gives you an escape plan if all you can find are a bunch of snooty jerks when you go looking for colleagues. And you can probably make it to every show, too.”

“Honey, I’m sure she’ll be all circused out before long. Serena, I promise you won’t have to pretend to pay attention to us just to come along.” Sylvando flapped a hand at her, self-deprecatingly.

“Honestly, I think that would take quite a while, even if I buy a ticket every day.”

“There you go again, trying to make me blush. Well! Is that a yes?”

“I think...Yes. Yes, that’s a yes. If you’re sure you don’t mind. And your troupe won’t mind.”

“No problem at all! Oh, this is wonderful! I’m so happy. Veronica, you are brilliant.”

“People keep telling me that. Of course, they’re right.”

“And how, darling.”

Serena shook her head at Veronica’s smirk. “Now look what you did. She’ll be insufferable for days.” But she couldn’t help smiling herself.

“Well, we’re likely to leave at the end of the week, so you have some time.” Sylvando hesitated. “Ah...now, I don’t really like to bring up a sore subject, but I am curious if you would be willing to share the rationale this doctor had for turning down Erdrea’s greatest healer.”

“Oh...well, I don’t think she believed I was very good. Thought I was looking for a fresh apprenticeship. I told her, I don’t know, that I knew a thing or two already, and maybe she’d like to swap some information? She told me I needed to try to seem more confident in order to be a good healer. But, really, Sylv, Erdrea’s greatest healer?”

Sylvando’s mouth twitched. “Honey, first of all, believe me. I’ve met a few healers in my day, and none of them do it like you do. Secondly...Now don’t take this the wrong way, darling, but I do think you might benefit from working on a more confident attitude.”

“You think she’s right?”

“I think if you want to give her a second chance, you should think about all of the incredible things you have already accomplished, and then march back in there and tell her about them. You are the one who kept us all from otherwise certain death long enough to beat up that big bad ugly in the sky. I can vouch that you have brought me, personally, back from the brink of death dozens of times, and fully restored my hands more than once from what I feared might be a crippling injury.” Sylvando cocked his head and smiled wryly. “It may sound a little strange, but I’m not quite certain which of those two things I’m more grateful for. Anyway, it’s up to you if you want to go back at all, but I think you might get further if you go in there remembering how amazing you are.”

Serena, feeling flushed, had pressed her fingers over her cheeks somewhere in the middle of this, and she remained silent for a few moments afterwards. “Okay,” she said, finally. “Maybe you’re right. I’m…” She glanced at Veronica and suddenly smiled. “There’s probably no one alive who’s better than me at battlefield healing magic, but I could stand to branch out a little.”

Veronica grinned at her own old words repurposed. “There you go. I knew all my plots were perfect. Thanks, Sylv, for proving me right on all counts!”

  


* * *

  


The door opened, and Healer Heather’s calm expression flattened a little. Serena squared her shoulders.

“Good morning, Healer. Do you have a few moments to spare?”

Heather sighed. “I suppose. But you’ll have to step outside if we get a walk-in. Which I’m giving better than even odds will happen before noon, what with this circus business.”

“The circus? I don’t think you have to worry. They aren’t even performing until this evening.”

“Not the performers, girl. A show like that comes along, and the next day, the kids are all trying to imitate it. We’ve had one broken leg so far, and I’m just waiting to find out the aftermath of the knife tossing business.”

“Oh, dear. I never thought of that.” Serena frowned. “But, then I could definitely help out!”

Heather shook her head, but Serena made herself keep talking. “I came back today to say that I believe I gave off the wrong impression yesterday. I realize I probably seemed like an amateur, but actually, I’ve had extensive experience in front-line healing. I’m a strong caster, and I can fix up dozens of quite dreadful injuries in a day without resting.”

“Huh.” Heather looked her up and down. “Magic, is it? Hmm.”

“I do have some herb lore, but not as much as I’d like. But it sounds like that’s not the work you’re anticipating right now.”

“Well, girl, that’s true enough. Magic, though. I don’t know if you know the history of this town, but we’ve had some ups and downs with some witch business recently, and while we’re in more of an up right now, I’m not quite keen to have my house associated with magic...Besides which, I tend to think there’s something to be said for a bit of natural recovery time. Teaches us to be less stupid in the future. But…” Heather looked at her thoughtfully, and then they both looked up as a wailing sound started up from somewhere outside.

“Oh, very well!” said Heather. “You’re the guest healer, understand? No affiliation. I’ll have to ask you to go your own way when the circus does, and I hope you’ll leave town around then, no offense.”

“That’s fine,” Serena said, thinking a thank-you to Veronica and Sylvando. “I already had plans to leave then, anyway.”

“Fine. I suppose I can share some recipes if we do get some downtime.” The healer stepped up to the door and opened it, clearing the way for a pair of girls who had linked their arms together to use as a sling to carry a wailing child of seven or eight between them, clutching a thick pad of white cloth to his thigh, and dripping spots of blood behind them.

“Knife, leg, nine,” the older girl said, as they deposited the boy on a low table.

Serena caught herself in the middle of gathering energy for her spell, and held it, a tingling, almost tickling sensation in her chest. “Heather, may I?”

“Go on, then.”

She sighed with relief, letting the magic flow out. The boy’s wail raised in pitch for a moment at the sudden change before tapering off, and Serena murmured, “It’s ok. That was a healing spell. You probably felt really warm for a moment, there, right? That means it’s working. Shall we have a look to make sure?”

“A spell?” exclaimed one of the girls, and both of them looked to Heather.

“That’s right. This is Serena, and she’ll be working with us for this week only,” Heather said. She approached with a pair of scissors and reached for the pad on his leg. “I’m going to take a look, lad. Let’s see here. My, that looks like a bit of excitement.” The pad peeled away, heavily soaked with blood, revealing a slice in the pants. Serena opened her mouth as Heather pulled on the pant leg and began cutting the slit wider, but then she thought better of speaking up to save the garment. She probably wouldn’t want to trust an unknown traveling healer with unfamiliar techniques without inspecting their work herself, either.

“Well, I’m not seeing anything too bad from here, now. How does it feel, now, lad?”

“Better.”

“Do you think we can take off these pants and clean this up a bit?”

“But, you’re all girls!”

Heather nodded seriously. “I think we can give you a little more privacy. Ladies?”

One girl led Serena across the room, and the other drew a curtain around the table before joining them.

“Okay? Now I’m going to help you clean this up a bit. Here we go. Hmm.” A few moments passed. “Hanna, you said a nine?”

“Pretty sure it was an artery, Ma.”

“There’s no trace of it now. Not even a scar.”

“But! I’m sure it was…”

“There was certainly enough of a mess for a nine. Are you feeling light-headed, lad?”

“I dunno.”

“Well, we’ll give your mother some instructions, just in case. Hanna, can you fetch some redroot juice? Haley, please go fetch his mother, and ask her to bring some extra trousers.” The girls moved accordingly. “Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“...No.”

“Something involving playing with a knife, perhaps?”

“I guess.”

“Mmhmm. Well, my lad, it seems you’re a lucky one today. Our guest healer is not going to be in town for very long, so in the future, you’re going to want to use a bit more common sense. This could have been a much worse day for you, if you didn’t just happen to have an idle healer waiting to do magic for you, only a stone’s toss away.”

Serena found a chair to sit in, interested to listen to the older healer’s bedside manner with the child, and shortly his mother as well, who stopped to thank Serena profusely in between receiving the follow-up care instructions and towing her boy away, scolding in a low tone.

“Well.” Heather finally came and sat down facing her. “You’ve done this town a good turn already. That one would have been a bit dicier than I like. You say you could do a dozen more of those?”

“Ah...more than that. After we saw the size of the hole in the pants, I think I used a bit more than I really needed to. It was urgent, but just a small flesh wound, so it didn’t require awfully much energy.”

“So it’s the size of the wound? Any other factors?”

“Hmm. It’s easier the less things are out of alignment. A broken bone is easier if it’s been set, first. Um...I suppose near the other end of the scale, I can restore a destroyed body part, but only if it’s a fresh wound. It’s as if the body gets used to being how it is, and wants to get back to normal, whatever normal is. It’s also tough if something is, er, detached, and the parts are not realigned, first. I think the spell knows that there’s something to be put together, but it’s easier to move objects by hand than by magic, so it’s like trying to heal a wound as large as the distance in between.”

“Isn’t there a cost to be paid for using the magic?”

“Well, I do only have a limited amount of magical energy before I have to rest.”

“I meant...The priest offers some healing services, but he charges a lot for them. And I don’t know how it is other places, but folks here prefer to avoid using those services if they can. It’s said that if you accept the Goddess’s help, you will owe a debt to the Goddess that may come due when you least expect it, and even paying the fee may not be enough.”

“Ah...I didn’t realize. We have a priest of the Goddess in Arboria, but most of us pray to Yggdrasil. Though I’m not certain they are truly separate entities. But we don’t have any lore about debts like that.”

“Hm. What about…I’ve heard of magic to bring the dead back to life.”

“Ah. Ye-es...well. There are some restrictions, and I don’t think anyone totally understands them. I’m pretty sure the spirit has to be determined to come back. Sometimes it takes more than one try, for most casters. I don’t know if that means the spirit didn’t notice the summons, or if there’s a higher power involved that wants us not to rely on it, or something else.”

“How many times have you done that magic?”

Serena frowned, thinking.

“Sorry if that’s an unpleasant question.”

“No, it’s...I mean, it’s not the best of memories, but...I’m afraid I’ve lost count. More than a couple dozen, probably less than a hundred. I think. Less than two hundred.”

“Hm. Are there any side effects?”

“Naturally. First of all, there is a sort of a rush of feeling, which feels quite pleasant. People call the spell ‘Zing’ because of that. But you don’t feel quite right as soon as that fades, even if your body wasn’t in the worst shape beforehand. There’s some healing that goes with it, but it takes time to get back to a hundred percent, unless you follow it up with some additional healing. I think there is a transition period where the blood and breath are getting used to moving in your body again, and it tends to hurt a bit.” She grimaced at the memory.

“You’re almost talking about it like...Have you had this ‘Zing’ performed on yourself before?”

“Oh, yes. Quite a few times, honestly.”

Heather stared at her. “What were you doing?”

“Ah. Have you heard of the Luminary?” Serena ran a hand over her hair, feeling suddenly a little shy. She waited for Heather’s nod. “I traveled with him and the rest of his companions. It...wasn’t the safest occupation for any of us. But thank Yggdrasil, we finished what we set out to do and all of us made it home safe in the end.”

Heather sounded a bit strained when she next spoke. “So you were one of the ones who persuaded Krystalinda to help instead of harm? And who defeated the dragon?”

“Oh. That’s right.”

“What are you doing in my healing house? I mean no offense. But you seemed to want training from me, and I don’t see where you need anything of the sort.”

“Oh! Well, you see, there are things my magic is not so good for. I think if I can be of more use if I learn more about medicines and treating long term diseases. When a body gets used to being sick, my magic seems to consider that to be normal, and it won’t do much to fix it. Besides which, I can’t cast at a distance. I’d like to be better able to offer medicine that people can take away with them and use to treat themselves.”

Heather nodded thoughtfully. “Okay. That makes sense. Do you have anything in mind that you wanted to start with?”

  


* * *

  


The days passed quickly from there. Serena added to her notes by dozens of pages, and found herself energized by learning from the healer and her daughters, where poring over books by herself in the library had been draining. She felt a thrill when she managed to offer a couple of useful substitutions in certain recipes by comparing her library notes with Heather’s lore. The circus-inspired injuries turned up as predicted, mostly children and a few gentlemen smelling of a bit too much to drink, though no injuries were nearly as bad as the first incident.

Veronica lingered in town for longer than the original vacation had called for. “Well, you’re going off on your adventure, soon enough. Thought I might as well see you off properly.”

They saw Sylvando in the mornings, and at the shows, which Serena persuaded her sister to attend. Each show included some variations. Sylvando explained: “Even in a city like this, there are not quite enough people to fill up the tent each day if everyone only comes in once. Even if the word spreads to all the folks who live in the countryside. But we can get some repeat customers, and if we show them something new on the second day, some will come back more than twice, and some will spread the word to bring in other repeats.”

While Serena’s delight in their old friend’s company didn’t fade, the only tense moments remaining in the week came during these visits.

“Oh, I had best introduce you to the crew, honey. Come with me!” He led her to the cluster of performers around their cooking fire and gestured dramatically. “Darlings, it is the moment you’ve been waiting for. I present to you: Serena, healer extraordinaire! And her sister, Veronica, who sadly has turned down my offer to join the circus.” 

Sylvando turned his sweeping gestures to indicate the others, one by one. “Ladies, here we have Samir, the master musician whose siren bellows draw folks in to buy their tickets from Francine, who you have already encountered.” Serena easily recognized the round barker and the elegant performer.

“That’s Grey next to Samir, there.” A slender man tossed her a lazy wave. She thought he was one of the two who joined Sylvando for the juggling act, opposite Francine. Contrary to his name, he was wearing bright green and blue, and his sleeves ended below the elbow with a fringe that put her in mind of the tails on Sylvando’s tunics by the way it exaggerated his movement.

“Maria and Mateo, their son Leo, and their daughter Lena.” The two dragon riders, recognizable by their small build, smiled and nodded to her. A teen boy next to them raised a hand. Maria held a small child on the cusp between infant and toddler.

“Chelsea, we all call Chill, because she grew up in Sniflheim. That’s why she didn’t join us in Arboria: she was overdue for a visit with her dear parents.” This was the contortionist, who waved and then nonchalantly stretched until her elbow disappeared down behind her neck, as though offering a gentle reminder of her skills.

“Hello!” said Serena. “It’s wonderful to meet you all properly. I’ve so enjoyed watching you perform. You’re all quite incredible.”

“Aww. You didn’t tell us she was sweet, Sylv,” said Chill.

“I hope you can say the same after you’ve spent a week cooped up on a ship with us. We can be a rowdy lot,” said Mateo, in a soft but friendly voice that made his claim seem implausible.

“So she’ll be in with me and Chill?” asked Francine, who glanced at Sylvando, and then flashed a huge smile at Serena. “That’s convenient. You can pay your fare to me.”

“Francine,” said Sylvando reproachfully. “We are not charging Serena to travel with us. I’m sure she won’t charge us, either, if we have need of her skills.”

“I still don’t see why we’d need her for that. You take care of us just fine, Sylv.”

“It’s nice of you to say so, honey, but you have not experienced a Serena heal. Much quicker and simpler than my poor efforts. Besides, what if I lost my dulzaina? She doesn’t need to play a tune or move around to get the magic going. Not to mention, mine does not work so well if my audience is not in a state to appreciate it. You know my magic will not help at all when you are feeling furious with me, darling.”

Spots of color appeared on Francine’s cheeks. “Well, whatever. I guess you’ve got it all worked out, then.” The smile came back full force. “Welcome to the crew, sweetie.”

“Ah...Thank you. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to...”

“Not another word, darling.” Sylvando flapped a hand to dismiss her apology. “We’re all happy to have you, or will be, once everyone’s had a chance to get to know you.”

  


* * *

  


Serena left that encounter feeling a little uncertain. Veronica gave her a nudge as they walked toward town. “Well, that was nice. They really love their gig. And Francine seems to really love money.”

“I guess so.”

“Oh, don’t worry so much. She’ll warm up to you eventually.”

“I hope you’re right.”

  


* * *

  


The second incident that cut through her good mood happened the following morning.

“Well, darling. Attendance is slowing down about how we expected, so we’re still on target to head out the day after tomorrow, when Dave is scheduled to bring the ship in,” said Sylvando

“Okay. We’re going to head up to Arboria this afternoon and back tomorrow morning, which will leave plenty of time. Sorry to miss tonight’s show,” said Serena.

“Not at all. Give my love to your darling parents for me. But, are you sure you’re still prepared to venture forth with us? Of course, everyone will be heartbroken if you say no, but it does seem like you are having a good time with your Healer Heather here after all.”

“Oh, no. I mean, yes. I mean, it has been wonderful working with her, but she said from the start that she only wanted me as long as the circus was in town. I think she’s become a little more open to magic, but she’s still concerned local opinion will shift again and magic users will be targeted with witch hunts.”

“I see. What a sad thought. So, a precise deadline from her, that happens to coincide with our plans? How fortunate!”

“Oh, no, she did mean specifically as long as the circus was in town. She says this kind of event always leads to more injuries, because children and others will want to start imitating the amazing things they’ve seen, and of course, there are accidents. So she made an exception to help smooth out the workload.”

“Oh, no…” Sylvando stared at her, pressing the fingers of his right hand across downturned lips, and letting the other hand form a fist against his knee. “I never...That’s not what I wanted, at all.”

“Oh, Sylv.” Serena felt immediate remorse, and placed her hand lightly over his fist. “It’s not so bad as that. Children getting into accidents is a part of life. It’s just a little more concentrated this week than usual for this town, that’s all.”

He rubbed his right hand over his face with a sigh, then dropped it to offer her a pained smile. “I think...Would it be all right if I came to meet Healer Heather this morning? I think I should offer an apology.”

And so Serena found herself leading her friend to the healer’s house, with a strange sense of two worlds colliding.

“Good morning, Serena. Oh, have you brought a patient?” Heather stood in the doorway and looked Sylvando up and down, her face a picture of bland politeness.

“Heather, this is my friend Sylvando. I’ve told him a lot about you, and he wanted to meet you. He’s with the circus,” she added, though she suspected this was apparent from his jester’s tunic.

“Mm. I’ve heard a thing or two about your show.”

“Healer Heather.” Sylvando pressed an arm over his waist and gave her a low bow, head downturned. “I believe I must beg your forgiveness. I was not aware that my circus could have a terrible side effect upon your community. Please believe me that causing harm could not be further from my intentions. It is a problem that I should very much like to fix, and I promise my people and I shall put forth a great deal of consideration into how to mitigate the effect. Is there any reparation I can offer for the extra stress and workload that we have brought down upon you?”

“Huh. Well, I never...Serena, you say he’s your friend?”

“Oh! Yes, of course. Sylvando was one of us who traveled with the Luminary.”

“The...Now there’s two of you, on my doorstep. Of all things.” Heather shook her head. “Well, I suppose you’ve more than made up for any ruckus you may be causing now, then. All right, if you want my advice, you might try pointing out that you lot are the experts, and folks shouldn’t expect to be able to do the same things on their first try. Dunno if it’ll do any good, but at least I can rub their noses in their foolishness a bit harder when I patch them back up.”

“You are a beacon of wisdom, Healer. I thank you for your advice, and your generous spirit.” Sylvando squared his shoulders. “It may be a poor compensation, but you would be welcome to visit our show if you wish. No charge, of course.”

“Hm. I’m afraid that watching folk throw knives at each other isn’t my idea of a good time, but my girls would probably enjoy another visit.”

“Then by all means. How many?”

“Two.”

“Please, take these,” and a pair of tickets appeared in his hand.

Serena shook her head with a smile. “I thought Francine ruled the tickets with an iron fist?”

“I liberated a few when she wasn’t looking. Don’t worry, I added some change to the box, too.”

“Of course.”

“Well.” He gave Heather a respectful nod. “I’ll get out of your hair. Thank you again for your forbearance, Healer. Serena, darling, I’ll look for you the day after tomorrow? If I don’t see you after the show, tomorrow.”

“All right. Take care, Sylv.”

He gave them a grander bow with a dramatic flourish, this time, and she stood watching him move down the street until Heather cleared her throat. “Well, shall we?”

“Ah, yes, of course.”

Heather gave her a look with raised eyebrows when the door closed behind her. “Well then, I was thinking, perhaps today we should touch base on couple’s medicine. Lots of demand for something to keep a family small.”

Serena blinked. Of course she knew of that type of medicine, but she’d only really imagined it as something an unmarried woman might use in a desperate gamble to convince a man to marry her, rather than as a tool for use within a marriage.

“All right. I don’t know much in that area. Er…” She noticed Heather’s small smile. “Are you...He’s not...He’s like that with everyone, you know. If you meant that...um. We’re not a couple.”

“All right, dear.” The smile didn’t quite leave. “You’ll want to know this anyway, sooner or later.”

“R-right.”

  


* * *

  


The brief visit home went smoothly, even accounting for the news they had to share with their parents.

“Well, that could have gone worse.” Veronica smiled up at Serena as they began the trek back out of Arboria. “Hardly any weeping this time. I think Mother is getting used to the idea of you leaving the nest.”

“It does feel a bit strange to me. Somehow, growing up, and then waiting for a sign that it was time to start our quest, I only thought if we were lucky enough to make it home afterwards, we’d stay put. But it feels right to be going out again.” She looked down at her sister. “I’m not sure about traveling without you. That part doesn’t feel right.”

Veronica sighed. “I know. I’m clearly your guiding light. You’re liable to wander off and…No. You know what? I’m going to stop teasing you about falling asleep in the crypt. That was a long time ago. You’ve grown up a lot since then. I’ve been really proud of you this past week.”

“Oh.” Serena looked away, tearing up, and Veronica took hold of her hand.

“I think you’re going to be fine. I mean, Sylvando will help you out if you need it. Really, we know people in places all over the world who would be happy to give you a hand if you need it. But you’ll be fine. And it’ll be good for you. Just...” There was a catch in her voice, and Veronica cleared her throat. “Make sure you write me letters. I want to hear all about it.”

“I will. Of course I will.”

“And no getting married to Sylvando while I’m not there to watch.”

“Veronica!” Serena snatched her hand away. “Really.”

“I’m just saying, I can tell you really looove...the circus.”

“Maybe you’re right. It’ll be good for me to spend a little time away from you. Far, far away.”

Veronica’s cackle echoed off the cliffs surrounding them.

  


* * *

  


They made it in time for the final circus show.

“Is it all right, Veronica? Did you want to do something else?”

“Nah. I think I wouldn’t mind trying to get all circused out, so I won’t be sorry to see it go. You still love it every time, don’t you?”

“I still keep seeing new things. Of course Sylvando is amazing, but I’m starting to understand how talented all of them are.”

“Of course,” murmured Veronica.

This time, when Samir stood in the center of the stage to introduce the show in his carrying, captivating voice, Serena noticed a new element of his speech. “The men and women you will see before you tonight will perform many daring and dangerous feats. Do not try this at home, folks. Each of these skilled performers has trained under a master of the arts for years before delivering the spectacle you are about to witness.” Serena smiled broadly at this, recognizing Sylvando’s promised attempt at damage control.

The finale featured a swirl of colored lights, as somehow the torches turned blue and the flaming hoops green. Serena was pleased when the woman seated to her right turned to her after the end of the show and commented, “I’ve been here twice this week already, and I didn’t think they were going to surprise me, but they did.”

  


* * *

  


Serena made a point to spend the rest of the evening focused on her sister, since they had little time left together, now. They chatted about things Veronica hoped still to learn in her studies for a time, and then fell into reminiscence about miscellaneous experiences from their younger days.

“Remember that time you set the tablecloth on fire trying to light those candles?”

“We were eight! I just wanted to impress everyone with my fine control.”

“You made an impression, anyway.”

“How about the time you healed my ears, the same day we got them pierced?”

“Oh, dear, yes. I was just curious if it would work. I think somehow I imagined if we’d had it done on purpose, maybe the magic wouldn’t stick, and then before I knew it I was already casting. Sorry you had to get it done a second time.”

“Well, after the great re-youthification undid that, I’m starting to think maybe it’s just my destiny to not wear earrings.”

“Hmm. What happened to that pair that Cornelius gave you, anyway?”

“I think I lost them, back in that crypt. Poor Cornelius. He tried so hard, and he was so patient.”

“I’m sorry, Veronica.”

“Don’t be. He never could take a hint, but even he got the picture when we came back into town and I was like this. Speaking of things that are destined not to be.”

“Are you really okay with that, Veronica? He took you to a lot of dances. First kiss and all.”

“Yeah, well. I kept telling him not to wait around. We were already twenty-three when old Benedictus finally told us it was time. I think he should have figured out by then that he and I weren’t going anywhere.”

“If you say so. We did keep telling would-be suitors that our first priority had to be the Luminary, so we might up and leave at any time. I suppose it did rather leave the door open to hope that things would be different when we came back, for the determined.”

“Or the desperate. And what about you? Still no regrets, leaving behind the dashing young men of Arboria?”

“Not really. Do you know, after Felix kissed me on our eighteenth birthday, I thought I might end up getting married to him, someday, but to be honest, it never really was something I was looking forward to. Just, like…Maybe once we took care of our destiny, I’d come back and...I don’t know. Keep being dutiful. A dutiful wife, a dutiful mother. Raise the next generation, same as the last. But aside from the hero-worship problem after we got back...All he ever talked about was becoming a banker, like his family. Make money, count it, eat, sleep. And he gets a little...rude, when he drinks.”

“Really? I never saw that happen. But I know what you mean about the rest. The boys back in town seem a bit dull, now. We met so many interesting people, out there.”

“We truly did.”

“Hey, Serena?”

“Yes?”

“I’m not sure if I really have to say this, but it’s going to be a while until I get another chance, so. I know historically I’ve been the one to do things first, between the two of us. But...I’ve ended up in a bit of an odd spot. Not only do I get to look forward to a fresh run of adolescence, lucky me, but I don’t think I’m going to end up being interested in anyone who’s attracted to me for, oh, at least another decade. So, you’re going to have to be the one to forge ahead, on that front. If not someone we both know, you should keep an eye out. See who you can meet. That way, when I come around asking for advice on courtship someday later on, you can pretend to be the older sister for once.”

“Um. Okay, I suppose.”

“I mean it. I wouldn’t mind being an aunt, you know.”

“Veronica, you’re sounding like mother.” Serena laughed. “Okay, I promise I won’t turn down the possibility of romance out of hand.”

“Good. And remember, letters!”

“I’ll send mail from every town.”

  


* * *

  


The morning came at last, and the twins found the circus camp less lively than they had expected.

“Good morning, girls.” Maria greeted them with a nod, hands full with frying pan and spatula, and Lena riding in a sling across her back. “It was a late night for most of us, but the little one neither knows nor cares about that. Sausage?”

“Oh, thank you, but we’ve eaten. Was everything all right?” asked Serena.

“Hmm?”

“You said it was a late night.”

“Oh. No, that’s normal after the final performance. Everyone stays up to celebrate, and we break out a bottle or three of something nice. You should join us, next time.”

“Oh! Maybe I will. Thank you.”

“Hmm. Now I’m a little sorry I may have missed drunken Sylvando,” Veronica mused. “Can you tell the difference?”

Maria giggled. “If you know what to look for. He hides it better than some. Or hides the fact that he’s not drinking as much. I’ve not figured that out, yet.”

“How long have you known him?” Serena asked, curious.

“Well, that’s a simple question, but a complicated answer. We all grew up in Puerto Valor, me and Mateo and Sylv, but of course back then...well, some things I shouldn’t be the one to tell you. I’m not sure how much you know about Sylv’s past.”

“Oh, we do know he reconciled with his father, Don—”

“All right,” Maria interrupted. “Just so you know, that isn’t widely known in the troupe. Most of us only know him as Sylvando. Anyway, things being what they were, we moved in different circles. We knew of him, but we didn’t really know each other. I guess we watched him during some public events, and he watched us when we performed at the beach. So when he came around, oh, six months ago, and we saw him leaving his father's house, and he realized we recognized him, he came over for a chat. He asked us if we were still dancing and if we wanted to join a new group. He was willing to work with us and our family situation, and that let us both get back to performing sooner, which is both a joy and a help. We weren’t exactly rolling in savings, being simple dancers in a town where the regulars were used to us.”

“So, you’ve trained for years under a master of the arts?” Veronica asked.

“Veronica…”

Maria chuckled. “Well, I guess you could say we both learned some things from the other dancers we knew in Puerto Valor. And we took care of horses for the caballeros often enough. Some gentlemen like to have horses on hand more than they like to take them out for exercise, so they liked letting us take them out for a run almost as much as we did. But the dragons...”

“The dragons are pretty fantastic,” offered Veronica.

The slight woman shook her head. “To be honest, even though we half disbelieved Sylv that he could acquire such a thing, I think that was the selling point for us. He gave us some pointers when he brought them in, but I don’t believe there are many masters of dragon riding around to train under. But the poor things seem lonely without a partner to fly with. They get anxious if we don’t take them out once a day, and they’re really sweet tempered and cooperative.”

“That’s wonderful. I wondered how they would do around humans for the long term.”

“Just fine, it seems. I’m a little surprised Sylvando isn’t trying to turn a profit selling dragon mounts. But then, that’s not really in line with the mission statement.”

“Ooh, I think I heard my name.” Sylvando emerged from one of the small tents around the camp. “Are you talking about me, darlings? Good morning!”

“You’re more chipper than I expected,” said Veronica.

“For you, good lady Veronica, I must be chipper. I cannot have you thinking of stormclouds when you remember your last glimpse of my face.”

“Oh, really? Hmm. I don’t think it’s going to work. I’m just going to think of you being all solemn and weepy when you finally have to leave me behind.”

“Oh, dear. I’m afraid I can only allow that if it amuses you.”

“Oh, it will.”

“Oh, perfect! I won’t worry, then. I’ll freely cry all the tears in my heart.”

Veronica snickered. Serena smiled over a sudden pang, already missing her.

“I’m off to scout the harbor for Dave,” said Sylvando. “You two are welcome to join me, if you like. Maria, will you get them started on the big tent when they start to show their smiling faces?”

“Sure thing, Sylv.”

  


* * *

  


Dave was indeed in the harbor, leaning over the railing of the Salty Stallion, still shirtless, hugely muscled, and wearing his signature pink, horned mask.

“Wotcher, Sylv! She’s ship-shape and ready to go. And hang on, is that Serena and Veronica? Blimey! It’s good to see you, lasses!”

“I have wonderful news, Dave! Serena is coming with us on our travels!”

“Go on! Blimey again! A bit like old times again, eh?”

“It’s wonderful to see you again too, Dave. I’m so glad you and Sylv are still working together. I always feel safe knowing you’re steering the ship.”

“Aw, I do my best.”

“Speaking of work, since you say she’s ship-shape, I suppose we should get moving,” said Sylvando. “We’re still looking at Lonalulu next?”

“Oh, right. Vikings are interested in a visit, if you wanna make a detour. It’ll be in their cave, so not a lot of space. Five grand. We’ll want to leave a few folks on the ship on guard, I reckon. Your call.”

“Hmm. Not the nicest people we’ve ever met. But it’s not a bad price for a day trip.” Sylvando tilted his head and tapped a finger on his chin. “The nights aren’t all that long up here, since it’s the middle of summer. I think if we can stay up after and leave at first light, it’s not risky.”

“Sylv, preparing for the worst in people? I’m a little surprised,” said Veronica.

“Honey, some people may say I look like a fool, but that doesn’t mean I always am one.”

  


* * *

  


The troupe was halfway done folding up the cloth from the big tent when they returned to the east of town.

“It looks like we have a bit of elbow grease still ahead of us, darlings. We probably won’t be done here before noon. If you have anything left to do in town, there’s time.”

“I’d be happy to help out. What can I do?” asked Serena.

“Speak for yourself, sister dear. I’m going to hit the road.”

“Oh.” Serena nodded, but suddenly found herself unable to speak.

“Don’t look like that. You’ve got a job to do, and it involves collecting material for letter writing, not moping about.”

Serena nodded again, and swallowed twice. Cleared her throat. “Okay, Veronica. Take care of yourself. Make sure you keep getting up to Arboria on the weekends, at least. And remember to eat!” She knelt in the grass and pulled her sister into a firm hug. “I’ll miss you. But I’ll write.”

“I’ll miss you too, sister dear. You’d better not forget.”

Veronica pulled away, and Serena reluctantly released her. The diminutive mage turned.

“Well, Sylv, it’s been wonderful to see you, but I don’t think I need to tell you that if anything happens to her due to your negligence, I will hunt you down and apply a fireball somewhere quite unpleasant.”

“Indeed, it is understood. I give you my word that I shall hold our Serena’s safety dearer to my heart than my own.” He gave her a formal half-bow. “Ronnie, darling, it’s been a pleasure, and I look forward to the day we next meet.”

Serena stood and watched as her twin, from whom she’d never parted for longer than a couple of days, shouldered her pack and walked away down the road. She let out a little sigh as Veronica disappeared around the circus cart, and Sylvando placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, but said nothing. 

She accepted the silent reassurance for a long moment, then smiled up at him. “Well? How can I help? With the packing?”


	3. Chapter 3

“All right, darlings, gather round!” Sylvando called out. The Salty Stallion was pulling away from the dock, tents and gear having been stowed, and the rented wagon returned to its owners. The troupe gathered into a loose circle on the deck.

“In case anyone hasn’t heard yet, we are going west to the Viking Hideout this evening. This means we need to make a few plans. This is going to be a rough and rowdy sort of crowd, and I don’t think we’ll have any real problems, but it is better to be prepared than sorry. It will be safer if we keep several people with the ship at all times. So I am thinking we are going to tag team this. Only two or three go into the cave to stay at any one time. We’ll want Samir for music, and he can include cues on the horn for when to send in the next act.”

“Got it. Dun-dun-dun daaa!” Samir sang. “That will be the signal.”

“Excellent. And Leo, can you keep Lena with you below decks while we’re there? I don’t think they need to know that we have young people on board.” The teen boy nodded, already holding his little sister.

“Thank you, honey. Next. We’re going to be in a cave, so we don’t control the room, and there’s not a great deal of space. I think Francine and Grey can do a bit of juggling, and Chill can dance. Samir, you feel like doing some singing?”

“What are we talking? Drinking songs? Might want Chill to bring her drum, if you think the acoustics will work.”

“I can’t imagine they would turn their noses up at a good drinking song. Maybe something fierce and warlike, too.”

“Got it. No problem.”

“I don’t think we want to do fire in there. No telling how flammable the environment is going to be. So, balls and knives. Sound good, jugglers?”

“Sure thing,” said Grey. “How do you think the water balloon bit would work?”

“Hmm. It’s a good thought, but I don’t know how they’d feel if we get their nice clean cave floor all wet. Let’s give that a pass. Okay, and then we can let Maria and Mateo do a dance or two. How do you feel about a tango?”

The pair smiled. “It’s been long enough,” said Mateo, voice quiet but confident. Maria nodded.

“All right. I think that’s enough to make up a respectable spur of the moment show. Now, the other teensy plot twist for today’s thrilling adventure story is that we do not want to drop our guard among these people. But we aren’t going to have much light left to sail out of the channel after the show, and we’re going to be better off staying where we can see them, rather than letting them sneak up on us while we’re at anchor. That means we are going to stay up all night. I think we will have a nice quiet star viewing party, because we want to stay awake, but not wake up our hosts. But that means that we will want to rest up now. So! Everyone go take a little nap while Dave keeps us going in the right direction. I’ll come around in a few hours with a wake-up call, and we can hammer out any details with our assigned partners. Any questions?”

“What are you going to be doing while the rest of us are slaving away, Sylv?” Grey asked.

“Ah. Don’t laugh, now, darlings. I am going to be pretending to be a big, strong knight. I’ll stay with the ship and see if I can’t discourage any bad notions from forming. The cave’s not huge, so if you need backup while you’re inside, just let out a little scream, and I’ll be there in a jiffy. All right?”

The group seemed satisfied, so Sylvando turned, then paused. “Oh! I almost forgot. Chill, Francine, please take Serena below with you and show her where to put her things. Serena, darling, we would welcome your company for stars and guards later, if you wish to join in the grand napping expedition now.”

“Sure, I’ll be happy to.”

  


* * *

  


“Well, welcome to your new home sweet home.” Francine swirled into the tiny room and made a wide, sweeping gesture that would have implied a vast panorama if she hadn’t managed to rap her knuckles against both bunkbeds and the wall. “The bottom bunks are taken, so take your pick of the top ones.” She hooked her fingers into the frame of the upper bunk and used it to lift herself onto the lower using only her upper body strength, and Serena wondered whether she was deliberately hinting at how easy it would be for her to launch herself directly up to the top bunk if she wanted to.

“Francie…” Chill said, a hint of reproach in her tone.

“That’s fine,” said Serena, lifting her pack into the accompanying bin bolted to the wall and starting to climb the ladder at the foot of Francine’s bunk. “It’s not the first time I’ve taken the top bunk.” The last time they’d traveled by Salty Stallion, she’d eyed the height at which the ladder began, and then quietly left the lower bunk for her newly small sister. She still hit her head on the way up, though.

“Ooh, all right up there, sugar? Well, I’m sure it’s right handy being able to heal up whatever bumps and scrapes you stumble into.”

Chill sighed. “Sleep well, ladies. Serena, if you get seasick, I’ll try to understand if you have to toss your cookies off the side of your bunk.”

Francine snorted. “Don’t be disgusting.” Pause. “Serena, dear...Do you get seasick?”

“N…” Serena hesitated, and channeled her inner Veronica. “Not yet. I guess we’ll find out in a few hours. Sleep well, then!”

  


* * *

  


Serena took her time getting out of bed, and the afternoon practice session was in full swing when she emerged. Samir was playing a wonderfully complex and dramatic tune on his lute, and Maria and Mateo were dancing precise steps together in a near embrace, which made Serena do a double-take. They alternated moments of stillness with sudden movements into and out of each other’s space, and she felt like she had stumbled across a private moment between the married couple. The Arborian pair dances she knew were not remotely so intimate, and even traveling across the world, she had never seen two performers dancing in close proximity like this.

She drifted up to Dave, still stationed at the helm of the ship. She leaned over to ask him in a low voice, “Will they mind if I watch?”

“Not at all, lass,” he replied softly. “The tango’s a beautiful thing, innit? Anyway, one thing to know with this lot, they always want an audience. Unless they’re working up something secret, and then they’ll tell you to go away if you find wherever they’ve snuck off to.”

She stood watching, fascinated, until Mateo dipped Maria backwards, holding her a breath away from a kiss, as the music came to a close. Dave leaned against the wheel, letting his body hold it steady so he could stick his arms through the spokes and applaud, so Serena clapped her hands as well.

“You lot haven’t lost your touch, I see!” Dave called. The pair sent a deep bow in his direction. 

Samir wiped his brow dramatically. “Going to have to have another go at that one. I’m rusty.”

“It was fine for dancing,” offered Mateo.

“It’ll be better if I can work in the percussion bit.” He tapped a rapid rhythm on the wood of his lute, then started alternating between tapping and strumming a single note, bobbing his head as he did so. Finally he started playing the full melody again, this time with the sharp taps serving as a counterpoint. Maria and Mateo smiled at each other and began dancing again.

This time Serena didn’t wait to applaud when they finished. Smiling, she shook her head, thinking of how her own passable harp skills didn’t hold a candle to Samir on the lute. She thought about trying to play in front of him and winced at the idea.

She heard applause behind her as well, this time. She glanced over her shoulder to see Sylvando clapping. He fanned his face with a hand. “My. So romantic. So intense! It’s just the thing.”

“All right, jugglers,” called Samir. “You got something for us?”

“We’re still working on guessing the range for them,” Sylvando said. “I think the dining room is a little too small. Dave, do you think you can give us a sense of when they go too high if they make some throws out here?”

“Sure, Sylv, do my best.”

The dancers yielded the larger space of the deck to Francine and Grey, who brought forth a box full of small cloth objects, which they began to toss to each other. Sylvando drifted forward a couple paces to stand next to Serena. “We use beanbags for practice when we’re outside on the ship. It’s cheaper to replace than a knife if it goes overboard, and less likely to be lost than a ball,” he explained. “Plus, if we ever run out of supplies, we can make soup!”

“Definitely too high,” Dave called to the pair, who had begun tossing to each other in a high arc. The arc lowered, while the flow of beanbags kept the same pace. “More. A little more. Aye, that should be fine. I reckon you’re good on distance from each other right now, but I wouldn’t count on too much more space than that.”

“Got it,” called Francine. “Well? You wanna call it, Grey?”

“Okay. I guess we should keep it pretty close to the regular order, since we won’t get to do a proper practice run at the venue. So, start with solo cascade.” Suddenly the arc between them disappeared and they were each tossing an individual set of three bags. “And pass four.” Some but not all of the throws began to pass between the two. Serena thought she almost figured out the pattern, but then Grey called, “Three,” and the flow between them sped up a little.

“Sylv, how hard is it to do what they’re doing?” Serena asked. “I had imagined your whole routine was worked out in advance, but they are just doing something new on the spot?”

“Hmm. Not exactly. It looks like Grey’s choosing the same thing we’ve been doing in the past week, only back down to two people instead of three. Which is not to say that they can’t call out different patterns in the moment and have a fair chance to keep up, but there are no real surprises in the mix today. We’ll change things up after tonight. I wouldn’t want you getting bored!” He glanced at her and winked.

The practice continued until everyone professed themselves satisfied, and the group drifted apart to change into their costumes and make final preparations. Serena took the opportunity to chat with Dave.

“So, what have you been up to, Dave? I know you were out of town, but not where.”

“Scouting the outer isles, lass. More folks are settling out there since the monsters calmed down everywhere. Some of them want a bit of trade, and some will appreciate a bit of a show well enough to feed us a good meal or two, at least. Cuts down on our net travel costs, and of course, you know Sylv. When he says smiles for everyone, he means everyone.”

Serena smiled. “Of course. So you all are traders in addition to performers?”

“Well, that’s mostly my own little side project. I keep an eye out for local specialties that will travel well, and offer courier service when it fits with our plans.” He turned his head toward her. “By the way, sorry I didn’t ask earlier. What brings you with us? And without your sister?”

Serena swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. “I’m going on an expedition to meet other healers. I’m hoping to build up my herb lore, and get better with medicines, and see who I can help along the way. Veronica is staying behind to continue her magic research at the Library.”

“Medicines, eh? Hmm.” Dave ran a hand over the back of his head and fiddled with the horn sticking out of his mask. “You got a business plan, or you running on savings? Sorry to be nosy.”

“Er. Savings, I suppose. I thought I might sell some herbs now and then at an item shop if I need to.”

“If you’ll pardon my saying so, there’s some good money to be made in medicine. Especially if you were going to stick with us for a while, and learn regional medicine in different places. Folks in Sniflheim love an exotic, traditional remedy from Hotto, and so on.”

The conversation turned into a lengthy discussion of supply and demand for types of medicine Dave could think of and a list of recipes Serena had learned about in Sniflheim.

“I’ve got hundreds of other recipes in those books. Although I’m not sure how region specific they are. I guess I should start keeping notes to compare different areas.”

“I can make you a copy of my notes for a starting place. It’s mainly requests for a few specific things from rich folks, but it should give you some rough sense of what’s in demand.”

“I’d love to see that.”

  


* * *

  


Sylvando managed to wait until the rest of the troupe had assembled on deck before he made his appearance. He’d put on a turquoise doublet that Serena recognized as one of El’s creations from their time on the road. Their Luminary did fine work. This was also the first time outside of El’s company that she’d seen Sylvando wearing a sword at his hip.

“Our fearless leader cleans up nice,” called Grey. Serena realized she was staring, but then glanced at the others and discovered that she was not the only one.

“Yeah, I guess maybe you can pull off this knight impersonation,” said Chill. “Can you use that sword? If it’s even real. Or sharp.”

“I’d prefer never having to draw it, honey. They will be so in awe of my imposing presence that they will not bother to start any trouble and I won’t have to hurt anybody,” he said with a wink.

“So, you got a backstory for this character?” asked Francine.

“I am a great patron of the arts, and having squandered my family inheritance in the finest troupe money could buy, now I must escort them from port to port, attempting to recoup my losses. Sweet and simple, no?”

“If you’re such a patron of the arts, why are you hanging around with the ship all night?” asked Samir.

“Why, that’s because...Oh dear. I’m not sure. Ideas?”

“You’re afraid of rats?”

“You have a cold?”

“You’re paranoid they’ll pick your pocket.”

“You’re busy trying to court someone on the ship.”

“You think the audience looks too stinky to tolerate.”

The group suggestions petered out, and after a moment, Samir offered, “I like the courtship one. It’s the only story that isn’t offensive and doesn’t make you look weak.”

“So who’s he courting?” asked Francine.

“Well, we’ve got everyone else performing, except for Dave, who they’ve already seen as being in his employ, or…” Samir glanced at Serena, and the others followed his gaze, and suddenly she found herself the center of attention.

“Oh! Um…”

“Serena, darling. Would you be willing to do me the honor of not running away screaming if I attempt to spend the evening in your company? You can say no. I understand, I’m asking a great deal.” Sylvando gave her a half bow and a wide-eyed look of mock nervousness.

“I think I can handle that,” she said. “If you’re on your best behavior.”

“For you, fair apple of my eye, nothing less.”

“Well, fine. Now we’ve got the fake romance settled, anything else?” Francine asked briskly.

“Wait, who is Serena, then? A lady, or a commoner?” asked Chill.

“Better be a lady,” said Maria. “She’s close to your size, Chill. Got anything that fits the bill?”

“Yeah, maybe. Not as high class as I’d like.”

“I don’t suppose you have your old white and blue dress from El along, Serena?” asked Sylvando.

“Oh! Actually, I do. It seemed a bit silly, but Veronica insisted I take something nice, just in case.”

“Well, I think that would do for a noble lady, if you would prefer a more equitable footing in our little story.” At her nod, he looked around. “Anything else?

No one spoke for a moment, and Sylvando nodded. “Fabulous, darlings. I am going to regret not seeing you all perform tonight, devoted patron of the arts that I am, but I know that you are going to blow them all away.”

  


* * *

  


Thus Serena found herself passing an evening under the awning of the ship next to Sylvando on cushioned chairs he’d brought out for the purpose. They’d caught some curious eyes from the other end of the tunnel, so she supposed at least the intended audience was present to witness the charade.

“More tea, darling?”

“Thank you.” His gloved fingers brushed hers as he took her teacup, and she thought to herself: that’s the sort of thing he might do on purpose if he was really courting me. She hoped she wasn’t blushing, and in an attempt to distract herself, she blurted out the next thing to pop into her head.

“You were talking about your magic the other day, and you said a word I didn’t recognize. Dul-something?”

“Dulzaina. I was calling it a pipe until I met Timothy, but he recognized it as a traditional instrument of Puerto Valor, proper name and all. I told him I’d bought it in Gondolia, which is true, but he probably figured out where I’m from after that.” He looked away with a small smile that seemed just a little forced, and Serena wondered if he found the recollection to be uncomfortable.

“You haven’t said much about your past to the crew.”

He met her eyes again and raised his eyebrows. “They know I have something over a dozen years as a performer.” She waited expectantly, and he added, “No. I’m happy for them to know me as I am.”

“Do you perform in...your hometown?” she asked, deciding he was worried about being overheard.

“We’ve not made a serious stop there yet. I told them we’d go on our way to the inner sea after Lonalulu, but, well. I’m not sure if I’ll take the stage, there.”

“You think people will recognize you?”

“I’d not like to distract from the performance with it. Though if I could show them...Oh, I’ll worry about that later. Ask me something else, darling.”

“All right. How long have you had the Salty Stallion?”

“Hmm. About ten years, give or take?”

“Did you buy it yourself?”

“Ah. No. It was...well, it’s complicated, but long story short, the ship was Dave’s, and after I helped him out with, hm, an art project, he decided to sign on for the cause. Making the world smile, and all. Really, it’s more Dave’s ship than mine, but…” He held up a finger for emphasis. “Do not tell him I told you that.”

“An art project? Where was that? I’d love to see it.”

“Ah...It was a bit of a temporary matter, I’m afraid. I can’t say more. There’s probably still a warrant for our arrest in certain places, if anyone ever connected it to us.”

“Oh, dear.” Serena pressed her fingertips over a smile. “Well, that explains how well he knows his way around the ship.”

“Yes. He’s been sailing for longer than I’ve been performing.”

“You know, Veronica figured you just had some giant stash of money to buy the Stallion.”

Sylvando chuckled. “We’re staying profitable, partly thanks to Dave, again. But not so that we could go around buying ships willy-nilly.”

“No squandered inheritance, then, Sir Sylvando?”

“No.” He looked abruptly serious, and continued in a low tone. “Even if my father offered something, I’d not accept. This life is mine, and I’ll make it or not on my own. Besides, his money is where it belongs. It wouldn’t be right to take it away from the town.”

Serena hesitated, unsure what to say, and Sylvando filled the silence. “But I shouldn’t be going on about myself all night, fair lady! Please, tell me something about the days of your youth. How did you experience the knowledge that you had a destiny awaiting you?”

“Hmm. I suppose it allows me to empathize with that guard who we always saw sleeping during the night watch in Sniflheim. We felt so special when we were kids, and we were so excited when we came of age and people kept saying we were surely ready whenever the call might come. But it didn’t come, and it didn’t come. Elder Benedictus was so certain, and he kept us convinced when we might have started to doubt. But after a few years, it was beginning to feel like more and more of a burden. Not that we didn’t want to go on our quest, but the waiting was hard. We were starting to think that this might be our lives. Wait until we were old wise women, and then go save the world.”

“I’m sure you would have still been a force to be reckoned with. The image has a certain charm. But I can see where you might prefer otherwise.”

“We thought it wasn’t fair for us to think about starting families or an important craft or anything that required a commitment, when we might have to drop everything at any moment and rush off to risk our lives.” She paused. “Maybe that was a little silly. Knights basically live that way all the time, don’t they?”

“You could look at it that way, I suppose.”

“Well, there was never much of a specialized military presence in Arboria. So that didn’t really occur to us.”

“So, all the eligible young men up and married themselves off in the meantime? More fools, them.”

“Not quite all, but…” Serena took a moment to register the indirect compliment and stumbled a little over her thoughts. “Um, not all, but, you know. I suppose it’s like I told Veronica. Arboria feels a lot smaller than it used to. We could just settle down there, but after we’ve seen so much of the world, it feels like trying to wear a shoe that’s a size too small.”

“Hmm. What filled your days back then, during the waiting?”

“Well, we took up a lot of odd jobs. Filling in for folks who wanted a day off. Helping out with the harvest. Preserving food, making clothes, all the other little things every household does, of course. Watching people’s kids. Veronica did a fair bit of pest control, scaring off monsters and the like for folks who lived on the outskirts of town. Playing music.” She shrugged. “I don’t think we ended up as experts at anything besides our magic. I learned what I could from our healer, but I didn’t want to put him out of work, or let the community be dependent on me, so I never really pushed to practice medicine besides healing those who asked for my help.”

Sylvando tilted his head and thoughtfully flipped a finger forward as if pointing to part of her story. “This may sound silly, but I wouldn’t mind hearing more about those little household things. Grey and I manage to keep us all in costumes with our sewing, so I hope I have a clue on the making clothes part, but I haven’t really lived as part of a...normal household. How do you go about preserving food?”

Sylvando was, as always, an attentive and encouraging listener. Serena had never experienced his undivided attention for so long, but every time she started to worry that she was being boring, going on about pickles and jerky, soap-making and gardening, he asked another curious question and reassured her of his interest. It was an altogether enjoyable way to pass an evening.

It felt like no time at all before the sun was down and the troupe was gathered back on the ship. “I suppose it’s time for quiet hours and starseeing. Shall we?” Sylvando offered her a hand to help her to her feet, and then proffered his arm, elbow bent.

She looked at him curiously for a moment before a memory sparked about a well-dressed gentleman and lady walking together in Puerto Valor. “Oh! Ah, thank you?” she said and uncertainly reached her hand toward him.

He gave her a nod and guided her hand into the crook of his elbow. “This is the usual style for nobles walking out together. Unless this makes you uncomfortable?” He pulled away a tiny distance.

“N-no. It’s fine.”

“I apologize. I should have warned you.”

“I’ve just never seen many people walking this way. Tell me if I’m getting it wrong, will you?”

“You’re doing fine, darling. Just follow my lead.” He glanced at her face in the fading light, then nodded and drew her toward the steps.

She walked with him, intensely conscious of that point of contact and feeling unusually warm despite the cool breeze as he led her down to join the rest of the group gathered on deck, sans the children and Dave, who were resting below.

She caught Francine looking at her hand and Sylvando’s elbow, then up at her face. “Well, Sylv, are you going to bring out the telescope?” Francine asked, the cheery smile coming out again.

“Of course. I’ll just be a moment.” He drew away from her with a half-bow, and disappeared belowdecks.

“Well? How’s the hardest job on the ship?” Chill asked her.

“What, do you mean me? Oh…It’s no trouble at all,” said Serena.

“Seems like you’ve done well. I haven’t heard you run away screaming, once,” Chill said.

“Oh.” Serena belatedly picked up on the teasing. Not many people tried it, back in Arboria, not with either half of the reincarnation of the Great Serenica. Not outside of her family. “It’s my iron willpower,” she tried, and got a chuckle for her efforts. She smiled, and asked, “How was the show?”

“Smooth like butter. But I’m just as glad we’re taking precautions. A few of them gave off kind of a weird vibe,” Samir said.

“Here we go, darlings.” Sylvando emerged, arms full. “Samir, Grey, would you?” He handed over a tripod, and then a telescope. Then he turned to her, pulling one more bundle from under his arm with a flourish. “Fair maiden, the night air is chill!” he announced, in a voice pitched to carry. “Please, accept this humble offering. Allow me?” He shook the bundle and it turned into a shawl.

“Oh! Um...Thank you.” She supposed she was blushing again into the low light, but she allowed him to reach around her and place the shawl over her shoulders. 

He added more softly, “I know El’s work is usually pretty comfortable in hot and cold weather both, but your shoulders were bare, so I thought this might be welcome.”

“Thank you, Sylv. It’s very thoughtful of you.” It was soft and warm.

“All right!” said Francine. “Probably about time to start quiet hours, no? We got a nice slice of moon up there tonight, who wants a look?”

Serena found herself awed by the strange textures across the surface of the moon when she took her turn with the telescope. “Amazing! I never realized,” she murmured. 

“You should see it when it’s full,” Grey suggested.

Maria brought out some tea. Samir pointed out constellations. Serena’s eyes adjusted to the low light, and she enjoyed the wide swaths of stars that appeared without the lights of a city. After a while, someone whispered in her ear that Samir was going to tell some legends about the stars. The group moved into a close huddle to listen.

At first Serena found herself startled by the way the posture shifted between the crew. Maria sat down and Mateo followed, wrapping himself around her from behind. Serena blinked, and she looked away from that casual intimacy, only to find Grey doing the same thing with Samir: the taller performer slinging his arms around the shorter, loosely clasping his hands over Samir’s chest, and resting his cheek against the top of Samir’s head. No one else gave any sign of being surprised, as Chill put a hand on Grey’s shoulder for balance while she sat down, and Francine sat with her knee a whisker away from Mateo. Sylvando knelt and offered Serena a hand, so she let herself be pulled down between him and Chill, who added a friendly hand on her shoulder to pull her a little further into the circle. She ended up with her arms around her knees, her toes accidentally bumping Mateo’s, and her elbows touching Chill and Sylvando, both.

She felt off-kilter with the unaccustomed contact with anyone besides family until Samir began speaking in a very soft tone, and suddenly she understood that they needed to be so close in order to all be able to hear him clearly, since he was pitching his voice to barely carry at all.

“Before there were stars or sun or moon in the sky, there were spirits who roamed the dark land. They loved and fought as people do, but they could only find each other by touch. Two of those spirits were called Ea and Erd. Their love was legendary among their kind, but so were their disagreements.

“One day, after an argument that no one remembers, they abandoned each other, Ea burning in a towering fury, and Erd cold as ice. They traveled in opposite directions, determined never to find each other again. But after they traveled to opposite sides of the world, they became desperately lonely. Ea turned back the way he’d come to seek out his love. Erd continued forward, hoping they would both continue forward and meet directly opposite from where they started. But as they were both walking the same direction, they could not find each other.

“They circled the world three times, and Ea came to the top of a tall mountain. He stopped there and began to pray that he could find a new way of reaching farther, that he might seek out his old companion. He prayed with such fervor that the mountain itself took pity, and it became a volcano, taking a deep breath and erupting. Ea caught fire and was tossed high into the sky. 

“As he hung there, he realized that he could look down on the land and reach out with heat and light. He began to fly slowly around the earth, and as he came to the opposite side from where he started, he saw Erd.

“Erd recognized him immediately and began trying to find ways to reach into the sky as well. Erd tried climbing mountains but was too proud to pray in the way that Ea had done. Desperate, Erd found a great storm brewing, and when he saw a huge cyclone forming, he threw himself into it. It lifted Erd up and threw him into the sky as well.

“Ea saw this happen, and reached out to caress Erd with his warmth and light. Erd lit up with joy. Then turned his face away into darkness to express his lingering hurt. Slowly Ea coaxed him back to accept his love. To this day, they still cycle through phases of affection and strife. This is the story of how the sun and the moon came to be. So it is said.”

A silence fell over the group for several moments. Serena marveled at how different this myth was from the ones told in Arboria. Then Grey whispered, “Gallopolis has the best legends. Tell us the one about the racers.”

  


* * *

  


In the end, the plan was a success. They whiled away the remaining hours in soft stories, until the stars faded in the sky. They roused Dave and slipped away before true dawn without any trouble.

  


* * *

  


Most of the group slept late the following day. Serena woke to the muffled sound of wailing and sat up suddenly to hit her head hard on the ceiling. She grunted, listened to the soft breathing of her roommates, rubbed her head, and indulged in a tiny healing spell.

Deciding she was awake enough to be concerned, she climbed out of bed, threw on her casual green dress, and slipped out to follow the sound.

She ended up in the dining area, the last room before the deck, and found Maria and Mateo’s children. Leo sat in front of a bowl of hot cereal with Lena crying in his arms.

“Sorry, did we wake you up?” he asked. “She’s a bit cranky, probably because she’s used to Mamá and Papá paying attention to her by now. They’re still out.”

“Oh, the poor thing.”

“I’d take her outside, but we haven’t gotten the all-clear to stop hiding, yet.” His mouth twisted a little. “I guess I get keeping her out of sight if it was a rough port, but I could have taken a turn on deck to help with the watch, and my parents could have gone down with her. I’m fourteen, you know.”

Serena tilted her head, considering. El had been only sixteen when he set out to save the world. “I expect you could have done, but taking care of little ones is an important job, too. Not everyone is good at it, you know.”

“Huh.” He seemed a little bit mollified at that, then sighed as Lena got a second wind and increased in volume.

They looked up as the door to the hallway opened, and Sylvando stepped inside. “Oh, the poor darling is not having a good day, is she? Do you want me to try?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Here we go, honey, how’s this?” Sylvando asked, lifting up the small girl, who seemed distracted enough to pause her protests momentarily with an uncertain look. “Wouldn’t you have a better time if you tried a nice, quiet breakfast, sweetie? Oh, yes, do you like my shirt today, then?” He pulled her closer as she reached for one of the soft puffs that lined the neck of his overshirt.

Serena bit her lip, utterly charmed by the scene.

After a few minutes, he had Lena accepting spoonfuls of oatmeal. Leo cleared his throat softly and gave Serena a pointed look, and she remembered her earlier attempt at encouragement. She covered her mouth, not wanting to hurt his feelings by openly smiling.

“Hey, Sylv,” Leo said with a bit of an edge to his tone. “Are we free to go outside yet? And why did we have to stay in, anyway? Or why did you let my parents go in, if it was so dangerous?”

Lena’s face clouded up a little, and Sylvando murmured, “Softly, darling. Those are all fine questions, but she knows when her big brother is upset.”

“Sorry.”

“I’d like to wait a little longer, if you can bear it. I don’t think we’ve turned out of the channel, yet, and as long as we’ve been so careful as this, we might as well follow through to the end. As for why, well.” He glanced at Serena.

“Don’t look at me. I remember El seemed to have a bit of mistrust for them the second time we visited, but he didn’t say why, and they seemed well-behaved enough.”

“Of course. I’d forgotten when and where I got my intel. After we all went our separate ways, I met Erik and his little sister Mia in Puerto Valor a little while later. You remember them, of course, Leo.”

“Oh, yeah. The other two who came along at the same time we joined you on the ship. More of your old friends. They were cool. Mia wanted to know a lot about us.”

“That’s right. Erik had promised Mia a grand treasure hunting tour, and was starting out to make good on it. They wanted to go far away from Sniflheim as fast as they could, so I offered them a ride.”

“Oh, that’s right. Didn’t Erik grow up near there?” asked Serena.

“Well, we talked about that one night on the ship. I think he’d already talked to El about it, but not so much to the rest of us. Anyway, he and his sister were more or less raised by the Vikings. I say ‘more or less’ because it doesn’t sound like there was much love between them and their...benefactors. They made them work hard, and gave them just enough to survive. And Erik is, let’s say, mostly certain that they made their wealth by piracy.”

“Pirates!” exclaimed Leo. Lena gave a little shout, echoing him.

“Possibly reformed pirates. Maybe more into smuggling these days. Dave didn’t have much history to share besides rumors, since he spent most of his time sailing the inner sea in years past, and he hadn’t been to their hideout until last year. I asked around while we were in Sniflheim, and the queen and the townsfolk seemed to have a relatively friendly relationship with them nowadays. No sordid rumors from the area, unless you asked some older folks, who’d heard things years before.”

“The queen?!”

“Oh, yes. You didn’t notice when she came out to the show?”

“No! I can’t believe I missed it.”

“I apologize. I’ll try and give you warning next time we’re in the presence of royalty, if you like.”

“Okay!” Leo looked thrilled for a moment, but then frowned. “But, I still don’t get it. My parents aren’t really going to intimidate a bunch of pirates any more than I would, and I could have stood watch just as well.”

“Ah. The problem is, part of my excessively cautious plan involved trying to appear that we were not only too strong to pester, but also that we had nothing of great value. And I’m afraid that I’m not absolutely certain that they wouldn’t value having a new set of young people in their power, doing their bidding.” He shook his head. “I’m almost positive it wouldn’t have been a problem. I still think it was appropriate to offer them a moment of cheer, as we do. But I also don’t care to take chances with my people’s safety.”

Leo processed this, then sighed. “Okay. I guess I understand. But don’t forget, I’m not a little kid.”

“Understood,” Sylvando replied, gravely.

“And don’t worry. I won’t tell Mamá and Papá that you told me about doing business with pirates and smugglers.” Leo grinned.

Sylvando sighed. “I see I am a terrible, corrupting influence. Little did I realize, I was the true danger all along.”


	4. Chapter 4

They made their way into the outer sea, and Serena gradually acclimated to the rhythm of the ship.

The first day proved far from the exception with regard to the practice that the crew put in each day. Fair weather found them on deck, practicing acrobatics, music, and trying to juggle ever larger numbers of beanbags in a multitude of patterns.

Serena did a double-take the first time she saw Sylvando miss a catch. “I was starting to think that was impossible, Sylv.”

He laughed. “The Great Sylvando accomplishes the impossible every day!” He swept her a bow and then used the motion to pick up the lost object for another try.

Grey, Francine, and Sylvando began to try combining acrobatics with their juggling. Serena began to expect each day to include something new, as she found them standing on the railing of the upper deck, standing on top of each other’s shoulders, or hanging by the knees from an overhead rope, tossing things to each other.

One day she walked outside, and they were throwing fish instead of beanbags. “What in the world...?”

“What in the sea, you mean,” replied Francine.

“We lost three beanbags today, so we thought we’d better try with something we can get more of. We’ve lost more than three fish, though. They’re slippery,” Grey said in a mournful tone.

“All right, all right, stop undoing our work. We’re getting tired, and hungry to boot,” called Mateo from overhead, as he brought down one of the small dragons to land on deck, another fish clutched in its claws.

“Last one for us, too,” called Maria, as her dragon dipped its talons into the ocean and came away with another catch.

Maria, Mateo and Leo proved to be beginning jugglers themselves, and Leo coaxed Serena into having a try, though she insisted on only using the beanbags indoors. “You haven’t seen me try to catch anything. I’m like to knock it right overboard on the first go.” True to her word, she flubbed almost every catch.

“I’m sure you could get it eventually if you wanted to,” Leo said kindly. “It just takes a lot of practice.”

“That’s sweet of you to say, but I think I’ll stick to my strengths.”

  


* * *

  


Having thusly reminded herself, she made a point to spend a part of each day studying the tomes she’d brought from the Library, sitting at the dining room table.

This brought Maria to her one afternoon. “Hi, Serena.”

“Hello, Maria! What’s new with you?”

“I actually wanted to ask you something. You’re a practicing healer, right? You make medicines and things?”

“Oh, yes. Well, that’s the idea, anyway. I don’t know as many different medicines as some healers, yet. But the ones I do know are good,” she added, remembering the advice about projecting confidence.

“Well, I was wondering, because I didn’t check my supply before we left port. Do you have anything to, you know. Lower the chances of children happening?” Maria was blushing, and Serena was suddenly sure her own face looked the same.

“Oh. Um. Yes, actually, I do. Not a whole lot of it with me, but it should be enough for a couple of months. That was one of the things Healer Heather taught me, and she gave me the sample to take away. I, ah, should add that it’s not absolutely effective. It’s still possible for a child to happen, just not so likely.”

“I know. We just want to…” She trailed off, and Serena was unable to stop herself from mentally filling in the blank, though it didn't help her composure. As Heather had vaguely implied, of course a husband would want to do certain things with his wife even if they didn’t necessarily want many more children. “Well, anyway, how much should I pay you?”

“Oh, no! It’s the least I can do. Here I am, eating your wonderful cooking every day. I’ll be happy to do something in return.”

“Oh. All right, then. Thank you so much, Serena.”

“I should thank you. I’ve been feeling a tad useless, to be honest. I don’t suppose I could help out a bit more around the ship?”

Maria gave her a faintly dismayed look. “After you just agreed to do me a huge favor?”

“I’d really feel better.”

“All right, I suppose. I could put you on the rotations for helping with meal prep and the dishes, if you really want me to.”

“That sounds perfect. Thank you, Maria.”

  


* * *

  


Though various crew members took a turn watching after Lena, Leo seemed to spend the most time watching her during the day. More than once, she found him holding his sister, watching the jugglers and sighing.

One late morning, she was present when Maria appeared to interrupt Leo’s beanbag practice. “Can you take her, mijo? I’m going to go start lunch.”

Leo sighed and caught his beanbags out of the air.

“Ah, Maria?” offered Serena, hesitantly. “I’ve a bit of experience watching young children. I wouldn’t mind taking her, if you don’t mind.”

“Really?” Maria glanced at Leo, whose face was lit up. “All right.” She handed over the girl.

“Oh, hello, dear,” Serena murmured as she brought Lena into her arms, a little startled. “No interview, then?”

“You say you know what you’re doing, you’re holding her fine, and you’re a healer. Should I be worried? Just don’t let go of her above deck. She’s right on the verge of taking off hands-free, any day now. Come find me if you need me, or hand her off to Leo if you get tired.”

Leo ran down to stand next to his father as the group was beginning a simple circle toss, each person tossing to the next in order.

Serena headed for the upper deck, thinking to hold Lena up where she could stand on the rail and watch, and Lena let out a shout at the sight of Dave who was tying a rope to hold the wheel steady. “Yes, that’s Dave. You know Dave, don’t you?”

Lena shouted again.

Dave took half a step back. “Ah. I hope you aren’t here to ask me for help with that, lass. Babies give me the willies.”

Serena raised her eyebrows. “Oh? The mighty Dave, who holds the course through rain or shine, staring down the mightiest of sea monsters? Can it be, I’ve finally learned your true weakness?”

“Aye, that’s why I’m wearing the mask. So you can’t see the sheer terror written across my face.”

Serena laughed. “All right, we’ll try not to get any drool on you.”

“Appreciate it.”

She turned to watch the performers and caught Sylvando looking in her direction with a bemused expression. She wondered if he’d known of Dave’s baby aversion. “Look, Lena, now Sylv is worried that we are going around menacing innocent bystanders. Let’s give him a wave and let him know we’ll behave ourselves, okay?” She moved the girl’s arm for her and received a smile and answering wave from Sylvando as well as Mateo next to him.

  


* * *

  


Most days found Samir playing his lute or his horn while the others practiced more animated activities, but several times in a week, Sylvando and Chill would join him with their pipe and drum.

“Fireflies at the Oasis, next? Don’t want you to get too rusty with that dulzaina solo, Sylv.”

“I could use the practice, honey.”

Serena chopped vegetables in the kitchen with the door open, listening to them play down the hall. Unlike the other pieces where Samir had kept up a complicated melody and Sylvando played comparatively simpler harmonies, this one had the lute keeping to simpler chords while the dulzaina picked up a melody that fluttered around in the instrument’s bright, insistent tone.

It was more complicated than most of what she’d heard Sylvando play, before. Nothing sounded particularly off to her ear, but when they finished, she heard Sylvando say, “Not exactly perfect. Mind if we do it one more time?”

Serena thought about the times she’d played her harp in front of him, and it hadn’t seemed too daring at the time. He’d already played a number of pieces to amuse their group on the road, mainly popular and recognizable tunes that went with simple dances or well-known songs. Eventually, when she’d become very comfortable with her group of companions, she didn’t mind doing an actual small performance of her own for them, thinking her musical skill comparable to Sylvando’s.

But Sylvando had either been holding back from more complicated works, or he’d improved since then. And Samir was obviously a master of his music. Her harp melody was like a child’s painting against Samir’s masterpieces.

She strongly suspected that if she revealed she had any capacity to perform, her shipmates would demand her participation, and then, as experienced performers, they would be left disappointed. So she left her own harp in the bottom of her pack, and didn’t speak of it.

  


* * *

  


Rainy weather brought the group indoors. 

The first day this happened, Grey, Francine, and Sylvando each pulled a coin from behind Serena’s ear, as they trickled into the room minutes apart to wait for lunch. “Didn’t know I had a whole coin purse back there,” she told Sylvando.

He glanced over to see the others grinning. “Oh, dear. I knew it was a mistake to give away all my secrets. Well, let’s see what else you can do.” The three huddled together and their hands glinted with gold appearing and disappearing between their fingers.

Juggling continued indoors, with balls and sometimes knives.

“Leo, I don’t want you using the knives.” Mild-mannered Mateo, true to form, didn’t raise his voice at all, but there was a firmness in his tone.

“Papá, they’re not even sharp.”

“They’re pointy enough.”

“Papá…”

“Leo.”

“Fine.” Leo set his knife on the table.

“Think fast, Leo,” interjected Sylvando, who threw four balls at the boy in quick succession. Leo caught the first three. “Not bad, darling.” Leo perked up in response, recovered the fourth ball, and started trying to juggle the set.

During those rainy afternoons, Sylvando often brought out some costumes and sat with Grey, mending and sewing new garments.

“Oh, your blue tunic,” said Serena on one occasion. “Did you make it yourself? How did you get it to sparkle, so? It’s beautiful.”

Sylvando’s face lit up. “Yes, I did. Look, see? They’re tiny rocks, sewn on. We found them on a beach east of Puerto Valor. Erik was there, and he said he’s sure they’re not diamonds, but they do sparkle rather nicely.”

“That’s brilliant. It must have been a lot of work.”

“You’ll make me blush, darling. I’m no El for making clothing, to be starting my own tailoring shop, but I do love it when a piece turns out nicely.

  


* * *

  


Late evenings often found a small group gathering in the dining room for stories or games.

“Who’s up for cards? A little poker?” offered Samir one night, unlatching a cupboard and producing a deck and a small box.

“Sure. Clean or fun?” asked Grey.

“You don’t need to ask for my vote.” Francine smirked.

“Sylv?”

“I abstain from voting.”

“Chill?”

“I’m no good at it, but fun is funnier.”

“Serena?”

“Er, what’s the difference?”

“Oh, don’t!” said Francine, putting a hand on Samir’s arm.

“Ah...if you have to ask, none of us are going to tell you,” said Samir with a wink. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad. We won’t play for real money.”

Serena had let Veronica talk her into trying the small stakes casino tables back in Puerto Valor, once, when they spent the night in town during the first part of their journey to seek the Luminary. She hadn’t been back, since Veronica’s newly childlike appearance couldn’t make it past the door now, but she still vaguely remembered the rules well enough to pick them back up from a quick rundown. But she resigned herself to likely being the first to run out of the wooden tokens that Samir passed out from the box.

To her surprise, she found herself staying in the game. Her luck was not as remarkable as some: more than once, Francine, Sylvando or Grey ended up challenging each other with high-ranking hands, presenting their offerings with dramatic flourishes.

“Four sixes.”

“Don’t rake it in yet, sugar, because I’m going to have to one-up you here: four kings.”

“A fabulous hand, and an incredible challenge, darlings, but even more incredibly, I must present to you: four aces.”

But in spite of her own many lackluster hands, Serena won the rounds often enough with a decent set of cards.

“Okay, it’s getting late,” Samir finally said. “One more time around the table?”

“Very well,” said Sylvando, taking his turn as dealer. He tossed the cards with firm flicks of his fingers to slide across the table, and Francine, not for the first time, helpfully passed Serena’s along to her. Serena picked up her cards, felt her eyes widen involuntarily, then frowned. Five two’s?

“Ah...I hate to say it, but I think there’s been some sort of mistake,” she said, uncertain. “It’s shouldn’t be possible to have two of the same card, should it?”

“Darn it, Sylv!” Francine cried, leaning over to look at Serena’s hand. “Ugh. I should have expected two’s.”

Serena hesitantly lowered her hand face-up, and the rest of the table broke into laughter. She started to smile, suddenly realizing what a “fun” game was in the company of people who used sleight of hand on a regular basis.

“I expected you to expect two’s. I thought about putting in five of them myself, and let you swap one out, but you’ve gotten less predictable about which card you pick to switch, darling.”

“Ah, well. We kept it together pretty long, this time, at least.”

“I remember when you did this to me for the first time,” offered Chill. “We didn’t make it more than three times around. By the way, I’m not sure who I was covering for, but here are the duplicates I kept.” She reached under the table and then held out a couple of cards.

Grey took them and squinted at the backs. “This one’s mine.” Serena just managed to follow the motion as it disappeared up his sleeve. “King of spades, anyone?”

“Probably,” said Francine, reaching.

Samir signalled for everyone to hand over their cards, and he began sorting them by suit and number, setting aside three more duplicates.

Sylvando leaned over to inspect them, but directed his words to her. “Thank you for indulging us, Serena. I hope you will find it in your generous heart to forgive us the deception. But it’s not often we get to play a game with so many layers, while we’re reasonably certain no one is going to start a fistfight with us afterwards. Please tell us you aren’t about to start a fistfight?” He peered over at her, wide-eyed.

“Well…” She pretended to think it over. “I’m going to have to demand all my money back. Otherwise, you’re going to be sorry!” She wagged a stern finger at him.

“She’s so menacing,” said Grey.

“And how,” Chill agreed. “You’d better give her a full refund.”

“So sorry about the trouble, miss. Here’s all your money back.” Samir reached across the table, waited for her to turn her palm up in reflex, and mimed pouring coins from his empty hand.

She played along, closing her fingers over the invisible money and withdrawing her hand. “Good. I suppose I can let you off the hook this time, then.”

“Whew!” Sylvando exaggeratedly wiped his brow. “I was getting worried, honey.”

  


* * *

  


Serena woke up one morning after a dream of her sister and suddenly felt guilty. 

Sylvando lingered at her side after breakfast, letting the rest of the group wander out into the sunshine, before he began to pry. “What’s wrong, darling? You look glum today.”

“Sorry. It’s just, I’m feeling like a terrible sister. I’ve not even tried to start a letter, yet. And worse, I’ve barely been thinking about her for the past week.”

“Oh, honey.”

“I haven’t spent more than two days apart from her, until now. And now I think I’m already used to it. That can’t be right, can it? I should feel like I’m missing an arm.”

“Well, I don’t know. You’ve had a lot of new things to occupy your attention, right? And you’ve been…” He tilted his head. “I don’t know how to say it, but I think you’ve been changing, just a little. In a good way.”

“Really?” She looked down at the table. “I don’t like to think it, but...I suppose Veronica was right. I always wait for her to take the lead. Now I can’t. And it’s not that bad. I feel…” She looked up at him suddenly. “I think I’m starting to feel like I’m part of this group, in a different way than our last journey. Like I can fit in as a whole piece of the puzzle, instead of just half of one. And like I can pay attention to everyone else, before I pay attention to her. It’s...different. Sort of nice in a way, I suppose.”

Sylvando smiled gently. “I’m glad you feel that way. I told you this crew would warm up to you in no time.”

“They are wonderful people, Sylv. Thank you for inviting me to join all of you.”

“Of course, darling. Now, don’t worry too much about Veronica. It’s not like you won’t see her again. She’s still up there waiting for your letters. And I’m sure she’ll be proud of you, even just for coming this far on your own.”

“Right. I should start writing.” Serena sat up straighter and gave him a smile. “Thanks, Sylv.”


	5. Chapter 5

After a couple of weeks heading west over the ocean, they ran into a storm that whipped up the water and tossed the ship around.

Serena went to join Samir, Grey, and Maria in the dining room, which didn’t move around quite as much as the rest of the ship. She shared out some ginger from her supplies, finding that she was not the only one whose stomach was unsettled.

“I can’t believe the boys and Lena are enjoying themselves down there,” muttered Maria, just audible over the drumming rain. “They’ve convinced her this is some kind of game they invented just for her.”

A shout came from above decks, and they could just barely make out Dave’s words. “Sylv! Get up here now! We have incoming!”

Samir passed it along in his projecting voice. “Sylv! Dave says trouble!” Suddenly the ship shook with a dull thud.

Serena shot to her feet at the same time as Grey, who put a hand on her arm. “No, stay here. It’s safer, and we might need you later. Wait!” he exclaimed, as she shook him off and headed for the door.

“Let me go first.” Sylv dashed through the room and towards her, carrying his sword. She stood aside for him as he drew his sword and kicked the sheath under the table, then she followed him out into the driving rain.

“Oh, no,” she said, too quietly to hear herself over the storm. A tentacular was looming in front of the ship, beginning to probe the deck with one massive tentacle.

“Hands off, honey!” Sylvando’s voice cut through the wind. He ran forward, somehow keeping his balance despite the unpredictable movement of the ship and the rain pouring across the deck.

Serena, on the other hand, slid and almost fell immediately. Grey appeared, tugging on her arm again. She shook her head and began casting to summon a protective barrier for the three of them, the one that would help cushion against sudden impacts. Grey gave up and produced a rope from somewhere, and she allowed him to tie it around her waist, then repeated her spell to strengthen the protection.

The rain was in her eyes, so she kept having to wipe her face and hold a hand to her brow to try to catch glimpses of what was happening at the other end of the ship. Sylvando danced out of the way of a sweeping tentacle. A slash of the sword.

The blurry, looming shape of the tentacular suddenly looked a lot more agitated, several more tentacles waving vigorously. Another tentacle came crashing down, and Sylvando dodged and counterattacked. Then four tentacles raised up menacingly. Worried, Serena summoned a wind spell, hoping to slow the huge attack. The creature recoiled at the burst of rain carried by her magic to suddenly sting it across the eyes, and it moved its main body further away, but the tentacles still came down, undulating on the way, and Sylvando took a glancing blow, and she saw Grey go flying, though she saw he had fortunately secured himself with a rope before joining the fray, so he stopped short of going overboard.

Serena cast a healing spell, but she didn’t feel the connection she expected of her magic taking root in multiple targets, so she supposed it wasn’t quite as bad as it looked. Sylvando got off another strike, and suddenly the tentacular was withdrawing. The far end of the ship bounced upward as the tentacles lost contact, then bounced again from the surge of water while the creature dove underwater. Serena slipped and fell once more.

By the time she made it upright and cleared her eyes again, Sylvando was lifting Grey in his arms. She gasped and tried another healing spell, but felt the magic only circle around and dissipate.

“Let me get him inside first,” Sylvando shouted. She nodded and unlatched the door, then realized she couldn’t hold it open without blocking him with the rope still tied to her waist. She gave the door a shove before dodging back, and Sylvando swung a hip to catch it and move inside. She heard exclamations of dismay from within, and she fumbled with the knot at her hip for a moment before giving up and deciding she had enough slack to make it through the doorway.

The door closed far enough on her and Grey’s safety lines to dampen the sound from the storm to the level that she could hear Samir’s low, broken litany. “No no no no my heart please no please no.” Sylvando had laid Grey on the dining table, and now she could see that his neck was at an unnatural angle. “Serena! Please, can’t you do something?” begged Samir.

Maria put her arms around Samir. “He’s gone, Samir. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Wait,” said Sylvando.

“Let me try,” said Serena. She braced herself against the wall and tried to summon the extra-powered Zing spell she had only ever performed in the Luminary’s company, the one that always worked immediately, but it wouldn’t come. She tried again, with the same results.

“Please, Serena, if you can help him, I’ll do anything.” Samir’s sorrowful voice pulled at her heart.

“Shh. Let me try something else.” She closed her eyes. This time she called the old magic for a standard Zing. The one that sometimes worked, sometimes didn’t. It didn’t, but at least she felt the magic moving. She waited a moment to build up the magic again, and sent it out. But it was the same thing.

Please, Yggdrasil, she prayed silently. If you’re listening to me at all. I know this time it isn’t about the fate of the world. But if I can ask a favor, please, send this one back to me. He’s one of mine.

Again. And again nothing. Stubbornly, she took a deep breath and tried once more.

She finally heard a huge, gasping breath and exclamations from across the table. She sagged in relief, then quickly summoned up a further healing spell to hasten Grey to a full recovery. “Thank you, Yggdrasil,” she murmured.

Suddenly Sylvando was hugging her. “Thank you. Thank you, Serena.” He pressed his head on top of hers. She felt startled, abruptly conscious of his solidity, his bare collarbone cool against her eyebrow, but then she suddenly realized how heavily he would have been worried for one of his own, how much blame he would place upon himself, and she reached up to squeeze him hard in return. His sodden shirt squelched under her hands.

“What happened?” Grey asked. “Did I pass out?”

“You...you were hurt, my heart. Serena helped you.”

Sylvando released her and stooped to pick up his sword and sheath from the floor. “I’m so, so glad you’re back with us, Grey. I’m going to pop out and check with Dave, and make sure that hideous thing is really gone.”

Serena nodded. “Call if you need me.” She watched him leave the room, then looked down and started fumbling with the knot at her waist again.

Grey sat up. “Oh, sorry, let me help with that,” Grey said, and scooted off the table to make quick work of her knot and then his own. “You had me really worried, charging out there like that. I’m pretty sure that’s not what a doctor is supposed to do.”

“Thanks. And you’re one to talk about worrying folks. Good thinking with the ropes, though,” she said.

“You brought him back.” Maria looked as stunned as she sounded. “I’m sure he was...and now...You brought him back. Who...”

Samir broke off hovering at Grey’s side to look at Serena. “You did. You did it. Thank you so much, Serena.” He reached up and pulled her down into a hug. She suddenly realized that she was still soaking wet and dripping all over him, but he didn’t seem to care. “Anything you ever want from me. Name it.” He pulled back, offered her a teary-eyed smile, and then took Grey’s hand. “Grey, you should rest.”

“I feel fine. Waking up was weird, but I feel fine now.”

“You should be fine, now,” Serena offered, then looked at Samir. “But, um, you might want to take it easy for a bit. Just to be safe.”

“Grey,” said Samir. “I should rest, and you should come with me.”

Grey laughed. “Okay, okay. Let’s go. Call me if that thing comes back.”

Serena smiled and waved without making any promises. She glanced at Maria, who was still staring at her, pale and motionless. “Well,” said Serena with an effort at extra cheer. “I’m dripping all over the floor. I suppose I should go change.”

Worse than coming home to Arboria, she thought as she fled. You do something dramatic, and suddenly old friends and neighbors are looking at you like you are some kind of saint returned to life and walking the earth. Well, maybe she technically was, or half of one, anyway, but she was mostly still just a person.

She found a towel, grabbed a lantern, turned it to low, and slipped into her shared quarters where Chill and Francine lay, evidently having succeeded at sleeping through everything. She stood for a moment, considering the options in her pack. Unfortunately, the most sensible option was also the most ostentatious: El’s white dress. She could put on the polka-dot sundress for a more casual appearance, but the white one was smarter in case the creature came back. It was virtually waterproof, much sturdier than it looked, and somehow it seemed warmer when the weather grew colder.

She sighed and chose the way she knew she always would. Safety first. Especially when she had people to protect. She struggled out of her sodden green dress, dropped it on the floor with a splat, towelled off, and pulled on the white dress. She got out her focusing wand for good measure.

“What in tarnation?” Francine was rubbing her eyes. “You turn into somebody’s fairy godmother when you get wet? Ooh, I bet you’re here to grant some wishes. Can you make this boat stop hopping around?”

Serena down looked at the wand in her hand and shook her head ruefully. “We’ll see, but I think we might have used up all the wishes for today.”

She tucked her wand into her belt, picked up the soggy pile from the floor, and left. A quick detour to find a bucket so she could squeeze out the wet clothes and hang them up, and she squared her shoulders and returned to the dining room, wanting to stay close at hand in case there was another attack and Sylvando needed her again.

She found Mateo there now with an arm around Maria, and Leo holding a curious Lena. The family fell silent at her approach and stared at her. She hesitated, then went ahead and sat down at the table, ignoring the awkward silence.

Finally Mateo spoke. “Maria says you brought Grey back from the dead.”

“Oof,” said Chill, who walked into the room with Francine. “I figured we’d hear something interesting if we came up here, but that’s a dark joke to walk in on.” The newcomers sat down. Chill looked around. “And nobody’s laughing.”

“I know what I saw.” Maria sounded strained. “Goddess help me, he was...gone. And then not.”

“Shit. Did he go overboard?” asked Francine. “I saw that happen, once. Guy drowned, they fished him out and squeezed all the water out of him, somebody breathed in his mouth, and then he was coughing and back in the land of the living.”

“No! His neck was broken, and his eyes were staring.” Maria’s voice broke. “Samir was...I was trying to...and then he started glowing, and then he was talking, and fine…”

Serena lifted a hand with an urge to reach over and comfort her, but decided it wouldn’t help and brought it to rest on the table instead.

“So, Serena?” Now Chill sounded funny. “You raised him from the dead, and then...went and changed into that pure, pretty getup? So it wouldn’t look like...I mean...In Sniflheim, we have fairy tales about witches who did that. Creating an army of soulless minions to do their bidding.” She gave a half smile, but it looked a little sick.

“What? No! No, Grey should really be fine, now. Normal Grey. I mean, that spell is kind of weird to experience. I shouldn’t say he won’t have any emotional reaction after going through...what happened. But no evil army. The spell works by leading the soul right back where it belongs, and only if it wants to come back. I promise.”

This didn’t have the reassuring effect that she’d hoped, to judge by the faces around the room. “No way,” breathed Francine.

Chill looked tense. “Where is Grey?” she asked in a subdued tone.

“He went with Samir. In their room, I think.”

“I...I’m going to go check on him.” Chill stood and bolted out of the room.

“Who are you, Serena?” asked Maria. “What are you?”

“Um. I guess the short version is, I’m a person who has a gift that comes in handy now and then.”

“I think you had better give us more of a story than that, sugar,” said Francine.

Sylvando threw open the outer door in the middle of her request. “Ooh, storytime? I do love a good tale.”

“Sylv! What have you been doing out in that? You’re soaked! Okay, someone needs to tell me the whole thing,” said Francine.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing from you, Sylv,” came from the other side of the room, where Grey led Samir and Chill into the room. Grey continued, “I thought I was the one with token combat experience, but you swung that sword like you knew what to do with it. And Serena? You charged right out there. Thank you, by the way. I’m starting to get the picture of how much I owe you. If I can ever do anything for you in return, just say the word.”

Chill made an odd hissing noise at that, and Francine muttered, “Not really helping right now, buddy.”

Grey gave her a curious glance, and continued. “Anyway, much as I’m grateful, I’d still like to know some history, Sylv.”

Everyone looked to where Sylvando stood, frozen and dripping. Then he sighed and pressed splayed fingers against his temple. “Oh, fine, honey. Let me get changed and we’ll all have a little heart to heart.” As he passed by, he glanced down at Serena’s dress, then met her eyes and nodded.

The group spent several minutes looking to Grey for reassurance. Serena felt momentarily cheered to hear that he’d not suffered much pain or discomfort through the ordeal, as far as he could remember.

No one sat down next to Serena, and she felt a bit apprehensive and lonely for it.

Until Sylvando returned. He surveyed the room, which fell silent and turned to watch him expectantly. He was wearing El’s doublet, and Serena was suddenly conscious of the fact that this was the same getup as when they had pretended to be a noble couple. But, she realized, it made sense for the same reasons as her dress. It was fancy, but it was also battle armor.

He sat down at Serena’s side and folded his hands on the table. “Well, darlings. What do you want to know?”

“Are you actually some kind of knight?” asked Grey.

“Oh, dear. Straight for the most complicated question. It depends on who you ask, I suppose. And what sort of mood they’re in.”

“I’m asking you.”

“Ah. Very well. Let’s say this: I had some training as a knight when I was younger. And I do try to uphold the Code, I suppose. I wouldn’t pick ‘knight’ as my first description of myself, though.”

“Look, before we get into a history lesson, I really want to know what happened today,” insisted Francine.

“Quite reasonable. A tentacular, a big critter with altogether too many very large tentacles, came up and attacked the ship. Or maybe it just wanted to eat us. Dave has a theory that small sea creatures in the area get excited when it rains, and they come up to feed, or frolic, or something of the sort. Then the next bigger creatures come along for a snack, and the next bigger, and so on. All the way up to our clingy visitor. I ran out to try and shoo it away, and Serena and Grey followed me out. Grey was...hurt, and Serena fixed him.” He shook his head. “I must apologize for bringing all of you into danger. We haven’t run into one of those nasty things since Calasmos, or even heard of anyone else encountering one since then.”

“Calasmos?” asked Francine.

“Ah. I mean, since Erdwin’s Lantern. Since the monsters all settled back down, let’s say.”

“If you haven’t run into one since, does that mean you’ve run into one before?” asked Grey.

“Yes.” Sylvando glanced at Serena. “A few of them.”

“What was that? Were you two together when that happened?” asked Francine.

“Yes, that happened on the journey after I met Serena.”

“When? Where? How long did you journey together, anyway? And why?” asked Francine.

“Yes, all you told us was that she was an old friend,” added Mateo.

“That is a long, long story, darlings.”

“No one’s sleepy yet, Sylv,” said Francine.

Sylvando glanced at Serena again. “It might be a little more your story than mine, darling. Sacred destiny and all that.”

“That’s all right. You’ll probably tell it better.”

He nodded and sighed, then squared his shoulders and dramatically swept his palms upwards. “Very well! Gather round, and listen to a tale of heroism and derring-do! Just remember, no matter what you hear, I was still the same old Sylv throughout. Morale booster, beacon of encouragement, and object of sublime beauty. Now, before we get started, please raise your hand if you’ve heard of the Luminary. Everyone? Good. Then let me back up and tell you about a boy named El.”

Serena sat back and listened to him tell the story of their journey to help El to defeat the forces of darkness. He began with the part El had told them about living in Cobblestone, painting the picture of an innocent boy being told he was the Luminary, then going to Heliodor, becoming a wanted man for no comprehensible reason, and the escape with Erik.

“I believe when they came to Hotto is when he met you and Veronica?”

“That’s right. You see, we were looking for him, because...” She briefly told the story of Benedictus and his visions and the journey with her sister, up to the infamous crypt moment. “I couldn’t find her anywhere, and it was a long day, and the room seemed safe enough. There was a statue of the Goddess and it just felt like a good place, so I laid down for a rest. Veronica wouldn’t let me live it down, later. Silly Serena, thought an infested crypt was a good place for a little snooze. And then, that was the first time I met the Luminary: waking up from a nap and wiping drool off my face.”

She got a few chuckles from this, and she even caught Maria smiling before the other woman quickly brought up a hand to cover the expression. Serena felt a little tension leave her own shoulders. “Anyway, after we officially joined up, we heard a rumor about an artifact called the Rainbough, which we hoped would help us bring the Luminary to Yggdrasil. That sent us on to Gallopolis.” She looked to Sylvando expectantly.

He gave her a nod. “And after they arrived, that was the moment you’ve all been waiting for. That’s where I entered the story!”

He told the story of Prince Faris, generously edited to make the prince look a bit more courageous and competent on his own, and of Sylvando’s own self-addition to the party. “I could tell that they believed what they were saying, about evil forces threatening the world, and I’d heard the legends of the old Luminary. And there he was, hardly more than a boy, so sweet, so shy, and so determined. I couldn’t help myself. I had to make sure he got where he was going, safe and sound. So I followed them when they left, and they were all so dazzled by my presence that they instantly agreed that I could come along.”

Serena chuckled. “Dazzled, is it? I think Erik had some other words.”

“Yes, well, that boy had no taste. All right, maybe a little. Very protective of his El.”

Serena happened to be looking at Samir and Grey while Sylvando said that last, each of them sitting with an arm around the other. “His” El? The boys had always been close. One of the letters from El had mentioned his hope that Erik would be willing to buy and sell jewelry in El’s new tailoring shop. Maybe there was more to it. She decided to ask Sylvando his thoughts, later.

Sylvando glossed over much of their journey, mentioning Rab’s and Jade’s status as family and family friend to El, but not their royal identity. He barely described his own contributions to combat, until he covered the part where he’d starred as one of the Bullion Boys in Octagonia’s fighting match.

“So, hang on. You made it to the semifinals. Were you fighting like that the whole time on this, this quest?” asked Grey.

“Oh, well, honey, truth to tell, the boys outclassed my poor weapon skills before long. I was rather rusty, and they had it covered, so I mostly used my fabulous self as a distraction, and worked on figuring out how to make the team stronger and better. Serena helped me out a lot with that,” he said with a nod for her. “I might never have figured out how to do my little hustle dance to call up my own healing magic if not for her sitting down with me to describe how her magic felt to her.”

Serena smiled, embarrassed and pleased.

Sylvando continued, soon skipping ahead to the events at Yggdrasil and the unmasking of Mordegon.

“You know, honey,” he said to Serena in the middle of this. “I never did hear where he found that hideous sword. Was it some kind of Arborian treasure?”

She shuddered. “I don’t think so. It had a rather unpleasant feel to it, even from a distance. Maybe he got it at the weapon shop? I guess someone could have sold it to the shopkeeper while they were visiting. I can’t imagine anyone I knew having been the one to craft it.”

“Oh, well. It’s just as well he picked up something he could spare, considering what happened next.”

When he came to the end of Mordegon and the recovery of the king of Heliodor, he fell silent. Serena looked at him curiously.

“So, you defeated Mordegon, and the world went back to normal? That’s when all the monsters calmed back down, and Erdwin’s Lantern disappeared from the sky?” asked Mateo.

Sylvando hesitated a moment. “More or less, yes.” He suddenly stretched. “And then we all lived happily ever after. Whew! I haven’t rambled on for so long at one time in ages! I think I might be about done in for the day. If you all will forgive me my weakness, I believe I’ll go turn in.”

“Of course, Sylv,” said Grey. “You must be exhausted after that fight. I’m sorry we kept you so long.”

“Not at all, darling.” Sylvando stood. “Oh, Serena, there was something I wanted to ask you about, if you wouldn’t mind stopping by my cabin for a couple minutes.”

“Oh, sure, Sylv.” She stood, glanced around the room with a smile for their companions, and followed, noticing gratefully that the storm had finally calmed down and the hallway floor no longer tried to trip her as she walked.

He led her into his room, and as the door clicked shut behind them, she stopped to look around, suddenly realizing she’d never been in here before. This was the back end of the ship, and she’d seen the large, windowed alcoves from the outside before, and she recognized the padded chairs from the night by the Vikings, but not the elegantly carved table, or the large bed taking up a third of the space. Little bedside tables filled out the extra room between the bed and the nearby windows. Small, ornately carved boxes lined those tables in a symmetrical arrangement, and she thought they must be affixed there so as not to slide around in rough waters. A dresser of sorts lined the back wall, with tiny latching cupboards and a bare table space and a mirror above it. She glanced to her left and saw a large wardrobe next to the door, with tall mirrors inlaid on the front of it and another latch to hold its doors shut.

She turned back and saw him waiting, letting her look. He glanced away and made a face. “Sorry about the mess.” She glanced over and saw his old sodden outfit hanging on the wall to her right, dripping onto a folded towel.

“Oh. I just hung mine in the kitchen in everyone’s way,” she admitted.

He gave her a smile at that, then turned serious. “Serena, I wanted to thank you again. I’ve never been responsible for someone and...let them get hurt like that, before.”

“Sylv, I don’t think you ‘let’ him get hurt. He was trying to defend the ship and his, his Samir. And it was a mess out there. Everyone did their best, including you. It’s just something that happened.”

“Maybe. But I shouldn’t have brought us out here so far in the first place. We wouldn’t have been in danger if we’d stuck near the coast.”

“How do you know? And how could we have known? You said yourself, there’s not been any sign of those creatures since we took out Calasmos. There was no reason to expect it. Honestly, this is probably a net positive. We all came out of it okay in the end, and now we have information to share with the ports we visit, that it’s still possible for these creatures to be a problem out here. We may save more lives with that knowledge than just our own.”

Sylvando’s solemn expression turned into a reluctant smile. “Maybe you’re right, darling. There you go again, turning frowns upside down. Are you sure you don’t want to sign on officially? We’ll say, come to the circus, see the great cheerer-upper!”

Serena laughed. “I don’t think I’m suited for the spotlight, thanks all the same.” She looked down for a moment. “Sylv? Not that you aren’t entitled to take a break and rest, but, why did you end the story after Mordegon, out there? Are you avoiding talking about Calasmos on purpose?”

Sylvando sighed. “That is my bad habit at work again, I’m afraid.” He looked away. “I didn’t tell them the story of Mordegon and our journey sooner because I don’t want to be some kind of great legendary hero. Not to them. I just want to be a great legendary performer.” He swept up an arm and bent a leg, striking a pose for a moment, before shrinking back down, crossing an arm over his chest and bringing the other hand to the side of his face. “Really, I just want to be part of this little family, doing the work I love. I was afraid I would lose that, if they put me on a pedestal for heroism. I’m still a little bit afraid of that.”

“Oh, Sylv.”

“Anyway, I think by the end of the story, they were looking okay. Not so tense as when I walked in that room. But, you know. Things got a little wilder when we continued on from there. If I say: and then we summoned a magical flying whale, gussied her up, and rode her to do battle with a gigantic meanie inside Erdwin’s Lantern...Just thinking on how to tell it, it feels more like an Ea and Erd kind of legend than something that could have really happened to us. So, first, they’d probably think I’m just making it all up to brush them off, and second, if they do believe such an incredible story…”

“You’re afraid they’ll be more likely to bring that pedestal back out.” Serena nodded. “Honestly, I can’t blame you. When we went back to Arboria, it was like everyone was walking on eggshells around us for a while. And then we told the whole story, and it got worse. No one would take our money for months after that. People kept bowing. So, maybe you have a point. I’d rather not go on the pedestal either. But...Are you sure you want to keep this a secret? You’re all so close to each other. And it’s a pretty big secret. Not to mention, it’s not quite a secret. If they ever visit Arboria again, for instance, and start talking to people...”

Sylvando gave her a small, uncomfortable smile and a tiny frown mixed together. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

“Well, I won’t bring it up in front of the others, until you want to. But it’s probably better to say something sooner than later, if you’re going to, right?”

“I suppose.”

“I’m sorry, Sylv. Now I’ve gotten you frowning after all.”

“No, no, honey. Sometimes I do need a good kick in the pants with these things. But I don’t think I have it in me to follow through tonight.”

“You must be exhausted. I should let you get some rest.”

“Serena.” He stepped forward and touched her shoulder lightly with his fingertips. “I’m really glad you’re here with us. Not only for what you did today. But you’re a good friend, too.”

She smiled. “I’m glad I’m here, too. Sleep well, Sylv.”

As Serena laid her head on her pillow that night and let her mind wander, she caught herself thinking about Sylvando’s collarbone against her face. She snorted, softly. His gratitude and friendship hardly implied attraction. Pining away for the great, legendary performer wasn’t a practical habit. Even with the fancy dress, she was still a plain sparrow by comparison. Unless she was wrong? Maybe she could…

She lost her train of thought as she sank into dreams, which involved convoluted scenarios that all led to more hugging.

  


* * *

  


In the end, Sylvando was confronted again with the choice sooner than Serena had predicted.

“Hey, Sylvando, there’s one thing we were wondering since yesterday’s story,” said Samir during the morning breakfast gathering. “Do you know anything about what happened with Erdwin’s Lantern and the whale?”

“Oh, yeah,” said Grey. “That was around the same time as your great adventure, right? You probably didn’t see it if you were up around Heliodor at the time, but we were in Gallopolis, and we saw it happen. You guys are going to think we’re crazy, but I swear before the Goddess, it’s true. Erdwin’s Lantern was hanging low in the sky, right, but it was this giant red sphere. Everyone was losing their minds, talking about the end of the world. Then one day there was this huge flying whale with giant wings, I kid you not, that flew over the city and straight into the Lantern. The whale vanished inside, and then nothing happened, and people started to think we had all just hallucinated the same thing somehow. But then the Lantern vanished in this great explosion of light. By the time we could see again, there was no trace.”

Samir nodded. “Talking about Yggdrasil and Dark Ones put us in mind of it. That was the biggest thing happening in Gallopolis back then. Scared people even more than the monsters. I’m not sure how it could be related, but we thought at least there was a chance you’d heard something on your travels.”

Sylvando was frozen with a hand over his lips, eyes wide, and stayed that way for a moment. Serena held her breath, watching him, until he suddenly burst into motion, gesturing expressively as he spoke. “Well, of course, that’s the part that I didn’t get around to telling you. We happened to have a magic flute, which we used to summon that very sky whale, and we rode it right inside Erdwin’s Lantern, where we fought and defeated an even bigger, nastier bad guy than Mordegon, and finally brought true peace back to the world. The real shame of it, though, is that you all couldn’t see us from the ground, because, darlings, we looked absolutely fabulous.”

Someone snickered. Samir and Grey were smiling ruefully, and Grey said, “You could have just said no. Or that you didn’t believe us. I know it is pretty incredible, like something out of a legend.”

“Oh, honey. I do believe you. That’s not the sort of thing you would make up. Maybe Samir would, but not you, Grey.”

“Here, now. I’m a collector of lore. I might repeat other people’s lies, but I don’t make up my own,” said Samir.

Serena shoveled oatmeal into her mouth in an attempt to keep her face from giving anything away. She dubiously supposed this could be better for the long term than keeping it purely secret. Misdirection or no.

  


* * *

  


That afternoon, she sat in the dining area working on her research across from Chill and Francine, who sat cutting paper and stamping the decorative outer border for new tickets, leaving the date and venue to be filled in later. The inner door popped open and Dave appeared, holding a plate of bread and sausage.

Serena raised her eyebrows at that, wondering if Dave was finally going to join them for a meal and take his mask off in front of them, but he only asked, “Seen Sylv? I just woke up. Late night.”

“I think he’s in his room,” said Chill.

“Thanks,” said Dave, and disappeared.

Serena smiled and said to the other two, “For a second there, I thought Dave was going to eat with us. I’ve never seen him take off the mask, before.”

“Dave never takes off the mask in front of people,” said Chill.

“Didn’t you hear him just now, carrying his lunch around and looking for Sylv? I told you, he definitely takes it off for Sylvando.” Francine punctuated the latter name with a sharp swing of her stamp.

“Huh, I guess you’re right. I never saw him take food in, before.”

“I guess that makes sense,” said Serena. “They’ve known each other a long time.”

“More than known each other,” muttered Francine.

“What do you mean?” asked Serena.

Chill looked at Francine. “We’re all pretty sure they’re together. At least some of the time. They don’t show it, but, sometimes they disappear together…”

“Pretty sure? No, I’m telling you, they’re definitely involved,” said Francine. She looked up at Serena, and suddenly smiled. “You didn’t know, sugar? I guarantee, those two have the hots for each other.”

“Oh...I had no idea,” said Serena, suddenly remembering her dreams from the night before and feeling extremely foolish.

  


* * *

  


_Dear Veronica,_

_Your original suggestion regarding something you thought I might do has only increased in implausibility. Sorry, I know that’s vague, but I’m writing in a shared space, and anyone could come along and read this. So I’m relying on you to figure out which suggestion I’m talking about. Which you will, when I add: I told you so._

_I found out that two of the people you and I have met are in fact romantically involved. I mean, they didn’t come out and say so, but it seems to be common knowledge._

_In other news, we fought a tentacular. Just Sylv, Grey and I. I had to use a Zing for Grey. This is particularly notable from a sagely perspective because_

_\- My extra powered Zing didn’t work at all. I mean that the magic didn’t even start to build up. Maybe I’m only able to use it when I’m around the Luminary?_

_\- No one besides Sylv seemed to be particularly familiar with the spell. People were upset. There was a discussion of evil witches and undead. Maria kept acting for days like she wasn’t sure whether or not she should pray to me._

_Also, it turned out Sylv hadn’t told anyone about our journey, or much of his life since he before became a performer. Everyone wanted to know about where we learned to fight, so it mostly all came out that same night. We were both nervous the others would start to treat us differently, but I think mostly everyone is starting to get used to the idea that even though we have some unusual history, it doesn’t much affect our day to day lives now. Thank Yggdrasil._

_Speaking of history and romance, Sylvando phrased something oddly about Erik and El that made me think he might think they have romantic feelings for each other. I tried to ask him about it and he just said he hasn’t heard anything official, and also that if anyone privately confided in him about potential romance, he wouldn’t break a confidence. So, here I am, shamelessly spreading baseless rumor._

_I miss bouncing these ideas off of you, though. I feel a little guilty to put it on paper, but I wouldn’t have thought twice to say it to you in person._

_I’ll put this letter with the other, and tomorrow we’ll see if there’s a ship in harbor. If there are only two letters in this packet, you’ll know I sent it ahead while we settle in Lonalulu for a few weeks. Dave says there’s usually a trade ship every few months._

_I miss you._

_With love,_

_Serena_


	6. Chapter 6

Serena quietly bundled her letters for Veronica as she sat in on the last group meeting while they approached port.

“All right, we’ve been over this, but let’s recap the whole story to make good and sure everyone is on the same page. Lonalulu is on an island without a lot of wide, flat space, so, no tent. No restricted access. That means no tickets. The village is going to give us a flat fee for showing up.” Sylvando ticked off each point on a different finger. “We’ll perform on the upper docks after the fishing boats come in for the day. We’re in town for three weeks, but that should include a day to prepare and then a few days to rest at the end. We’re going to keep each performance limited, but we’ll do something different each day, so all our hard work and experimentation will pay off. The schedule is posted on the board here on the ship, if you want to double check what’s coming up. What am I forgetting?”

“Where are we staying?” asked Maria.

“Oh, yes. Their letter said they had room on the bluff for us to set up our small tents, although if you don’t fancy sleeping on solid ground for the change of pace, of course you can sleep on the ship. You’re also welcome to rent room at the inn if you want, but I don’t believe they will have space for all of us, and it won’t be free, so we aren’t planning to cover it from circus funds.”

They covered a few more questions, but Serena found herself distracted by the question of lodging. She’d vaguely envisioned simply renting an inn room at each town when she’d decided to set out on her journey. But the prospect felt strange, now. She’d spent so much time as part of the group that the idea of being truly on her own felt lonely.

Sylvando appeared to read her mind. As the meeting concluded and the group dispersed, he came to her side. “Serena, I don’t know if you have a detailed plan, yet, but we do have an extra small tent available. If you want to camp with us, you’re welcome.”

“Oh! Thank you, Sylv. I really appreciate that.” Her apprehension vanished, and she felt a surge of optimism.

  


* * *

  


“No, I insist! Please, you must stay in my home. To offer less would be an insult to a budding kahuna such as yourself.” The thin, elderly man gave her a serious look.

“Kahuna Hani, I really don’t mind. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Nonsense. If you don’t allow me to show you our hospitality, how am I going to trick you into staying here to become my successor?”

“Oh…” Serena found herself at a loss for words.

“Oh, don’t worry. I promise I won’t keep you captive, here. You’re free to go when and where you wish. Only let us offer you a bed and board.” He waved a hand at her. “But I do hope you will keep the option in mind. I have no true student. My daughter knows just a little bit, enough for emergencies, but the magic does not come easily to either of us, and she loves the ocean more than she loves the herb lore or the act of caring. She performs healing from duty, not joy, and goes out with the fishermen every day she can.” He shook his head. “I’ve seen your work, and your compassion, after the incident with the tentacular last year. You would be a fine addition to our village.”

“Kahuna, I…”

“No, no. Don’t make up your mind yet. See how it is after a few weeks, here. Enjoy yourself. Come to a luau. Let me introduce you to my neighbor’s son.” He winked.

She laughed. “All right, Kahuna. I suppose I’ll accept your offer of lodging for the time being, since you offer so sincerely. And I do appreciate your willingness to share knowledge. This means a lot to me. Just let me find my traveling companions and let them know where I’ll be.” 

She felt a small pang at the decision to break apart from the troupe after all, but she was thrilled to find acceptance with the local healer so quickly after her experience with Heather.

  


* * *

  


Over the following weeks, she learned a great number of new recipes, many of which were only possible with island ingredients. She built up what she felt was a respectable supply of medicines with the kahuna’s help and set aside a portion to ask Dave to sell for her. The older man proved to be an adept medicine maker and physician with ample curiosity over her notes from Sniflheim and the Library. She ended up forming a style of shorthand notes regarding the regional differences they uncovered, so she could expand on it at a later time.

Unlike Heather, the kahuna did use magic of his own. Though he couldn’t create powerful healing spells, he used smaller spells to good effect. Serena watched carefully and learned some more subtle magics to supplement the body’s ability to heal itself over time and to better fight off diseases. The latter was particularly of interest to her. When someone came to her with the flu, her normal healing spells only ever offered a few hours of relief, but then the patient would sicken again, and in the end the process seemed to only extend the time it took for the person to return to full health. “A body will take perhaps half as long to defeat a sickness, if I do this once per day. It doesn’t seem to help to do it any more often, though,” he told her.

In the evenings, she joined the crowd that gathered to watch the performances. She’d decided to not look at their schedule in advance, so each night she could say she was surprised. She enjoyed the audience reactions too, although she was startled by some of the behavior among the locals. More than one couple sat close together, holding hands or putting an arm around their companion. Once in a while, she’d see a young couple behaving that way in another part of the world, but in those cases, they’d usually found a somewhat private place to demonstrate such affection and seemed embarrassed if someone wandered into their space. Here, no one seemed self-conscious, and some of the pairs appeared to be old married couples. She reminded herself that different places had different customs, and this was hardly a bad one.

She resumed her old pattern of visiting the circus camp in the mornings, only this time, she mingled with the whole group. The bluff served to offer enough privacy that they could continue their practice, unobserved except for the children who came up to watch.

One morning, Sylvando saw them approaching and sighed. “We need to practice with the knives, but I don’t want to give the poor darlings any ideas about it.”

“Maybe you could give them some beanbags of their own?” Serena suggested.

“Serena, that’s a fabulous idea!” Sylvando fetched some beanbags and greeted the local children, crouching down to make his offering and showing them how to begin their own practice. Serena felt warmed through watching him coax them from shyness into excitement.

And then there were the locals her own age.

  


* * *

  


Nohea was one of the neighbor’s sons. Kahuna Hani brought her to the next house over one day, and his call through the doorway was answered by a young man with high cheekbones, toned muscles, and a dancer’s grace.

“Aloha! Kahuna, if you had given me warning, I should have prepared flowers.” He gave Serena a broad smile.

“Oh,” she murmured, taken aback.

“Nohea, I’m glad you’re at home. I thought you and your mother might come by for dinner this evening.”

“Will your guest be there as well?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well, Kahuna, we are always honored to be invited to your home. I will make sure that we bring something nice to the gathering as well.” He winked at Serena.

She managed, barely, to focus on her work for minutes at a time that afternoon, but her thoughts kept straying to Nohea’s behavior. She’d seen boys act that way before, but not towards her. Perhaps, like Sylvando, he was friendly to anyone and everyone?

But he brought a flower with him to dinner. “If I may?” She tilted her head curiously, and he leaned in to tuck the bright orange bloom behind her ear.

He was attentive through dinner, asking her about her travels and her plans. At the end of the meal, she mentioned the performance at the docks, and he invited her to accompany him to watch it.

Tonight the performers were dancing. Serena felt her attention only half on the performance, as Nohea’s elbow brushed against hers more than once. Even Sylvando, catching the sunset in his glimmering blue shirt, only captured her attention for a couple of minutes before that soft touch came again and distracted her.

As the performers took their bow, Nohea leaned to murmur in her ear.

“They are very good. But I hope you will come to see me dance at the luau tomorrow night. I am very good, too.”

She glanced at him, curious, and found her face close to his. She had a sudden wild thought that he might try to kiss her, and she looked away, flustered. She caught Sylvando looking in her direction for a moment, and felt even more flushed, but he turned away with his performer’s wave and left the stage with the others, disappearing into the small tent set to the side.

  


* * *

  


“Sooo. Did you have fun last night?” asked Sylvando the following morning.

“O-of course. I always enjoy your shows.”

“Ah. But unless I’m mistaken, I saw you with a handsome boy, no? Maybe a boy who brought you a flower?”

“Um.” Serena knew she was blushing. “He’s one of the neighbor’s sons. Kahuna Hani invited him and his mother for dinner.”

“And he accompanied you down to the show? How charming! Well? Do you like him?”

“Sylv, I barely know him.”

“For some, they say, it only takes one look. Love at first sight, and then it’s all over.” Sylvando clasped his hands and gazed into the sky with a sappy smile.

“Well, I don’t know. I’m still a little bewildered, to be honest.”

“Bewildered, darling?”

“Well, he’s so...I don’t know. I’ve never met anyone as, as polished and attentive, except, um. I mean, oh, I don’t know. He said he was going to perform at tonight’s luau,” she said a little desperately, trying to change the subject before she openly compared him to Sylvando.

Sylvando took pity on her and gave up his teasing. “I see. I heard they had some local dancers here who were eager to show off their talents. I’m quite looking forward to it.”

  


* * *

  


Nohea was, in fact, very good.

After the feasting portion of the luau, stuffed and satisfied, Serena joined her circus friends, who had an air of excitement at being treated to an unfamiliar performance as audience members. Sylvando coaxed her into sitting next to him in the front row for the best view.

The five dancers were all men, and they were all dressed the same: bare-chested, with thick skirts made of long grass, and smaller circles of leaves around their heads, necks, wrists and ankles. A middle-aged man at the edge of the stage began chanting and drumming, prompting the others to begin moving. Nohea danced in the center of the group of and Serena began to think of him as the leader, even though they all moved and chanted in unison, seemingly in counterpoint to the older man.

The movements were unlike any other dance Serena had seen before. They took rapid but precise steps with bent knees and heels lifting. They extended their arms, sometimes moving in graceful flowing movements like ocean waves, and sometimes lunging through the air like precise strikes of a warrior’s blade. Sometimes they would freeze their movements and then sway only their hips, and the long grass hanging from their waists exaggerated the movements in the same way she’d noticed with Sylvando’s tunic tails, only more dramatically so.

Serena watched the entire performance without blinking. Afterwards, the audience stood to furiously applaud. Sylvando, enthusiastic as the rest, let out a wistful sigh.

“That was incredible. Maybe I should run away and join the island dancers. Do you think they’d have me?”

Serena opened her mouth, but failed to process the mental image of Sylvando dancing in same style of grass outfit in time to offer a coherent response before Maria weighed in from his other side. “I heard they have a women’s group, too. I think they’re down a couple members for maternity reasons, though. I sure wouldn’t mind a few lessons if they’re anything comparable.”

Mateo nodded. “That took an incredible amount of skill on top of stamina. It was almost like a tango in a certain way: very precise, a lot of subtlety, and rather intense throughout.”

“Hello, Serena.” Nohea appeared to her right. “What did you think?”

She jumped at the sudden proximity of him, his skin shining in the torchlight. “Oh! You were right, that was an incredible performance.”

“Indeed, it was absolutely marvelous,” declared Sylvando. “You are true artists.”

Nohea looked him up and down, and gave him a nod. “You’re not bad, yourself, for what you do.”

“Oh, everyone, this is Nohea. These are Sylvando, Maria and Mateo.”

“So nice to meet you,” said Maria. “I’m sorry we can’t stick around to chat, tonight. We’d love to talk dancing sometime, though.” She linked her arms through Mateo’s and Sylvando’s.

Sylvando looked down at Maria, and something seemed to pass between them unspoken. He turned back and said, “Yes, unfortunately, we must go take care of something. It can’t wait. So nice to meet you, Nohea. I do hope we’ll have the pleasure again. Goodnight, Serena!”

She watched their abrupt departure with mild puzzlement until Nohea caught her attention again. “You did enjoy it, then?”

“Oh, absolutely. You all must practice an awful lot.”

“It is a lot of work. But it is an important tradition to us. Would you like to know about the history of the dance?”

“I’d love to.”

“Come with me. Let’s walk along the beach,” he said, and suddenly he was holding her hand.

Feeling dazed, she let herself be led. He began telling her of the stories told through the dance, part of an ancient warrior tradition, and he didn’t relinquish her hand. She felt overly aware of the shape of him at her side, the great expanse of bare skin, the smoothness of his gait. The fact that they were alone on the beach.

“Serena, besides the meaning behind the tradition, I must admit: one of the reasons I was drawn to become a dancer was in the hope of attracting a beautiful woman one day.” He drew her to a halt. Maneuvered her to face him. “And you are a very beautiful woman.”

She felt incapable of thought. This was so much, so fast. Now he was leaning in, face moving towards hers.

Someone coughed. Nohea froze, then spun to look around.

A shadowy figure rose up from the sand. “Hi, Nohea.” His features were hard to make out in the moonlight, but from the voice it seemed to be another young man, a head shorter than Nohea.

“Pika.” Nohea sighed. “If you don’t mind, this is a private conversation.”

“Um. Is that one of the visitors?”

“None of your business.” Nohea’s tone was turning unfriendly.

“They haven’t even been here a week. Um. Miss, are you…”

“Scoot, squirt. Before I make you.”

“I just think she should probably know how many…Ack!” Nohea shoved Pika so that he fell over backwards.

“Hey!” Serena interjected. “There’s no call to behave that way.” She stepped forward to offer Pika a hand.

He took it, uncertainly, and got back on his feet. When Serena turned back to Nohea, she could just make out the shape of his mouth, turned to a flat line, and his hands, clenched into fists.

She eyed his posture, flattening her own mouth. “I think I’d like to go back, now. Thank you for the history lesson, Nohea. It was quite fascinating. Pika, I’m sorry we interrupted you.”

“Oh, no. I wasn’t going to stay out here long. I mean, uh.”

“Oh, would you care to walk back together?” Serena offered.

Nohea made a scoffing noise. “I’m out of here. When you decide you want a real man, you know where to find me.” He spun and stalked off toward the village.

Serena watched him go, feeling a little hurt, and a little bit of righteous anger. “I think you may have helped me dodge an arrow, there, Pika. Oh, I’m Serena, by the way.”

“Oh, um, I’m Pika. Oh, I guess you already knew that. Sorry.”

“What were you doing out here?”

“Um. I like to come out and watch the stars, away from the town lights.”

“Oh, of course. You don’t really realize if you live in a town with lights burning all the time, but the stars are incredible when there’s no other light.”

“The Evening Star is out tonight.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Down there to the south, that bright one.”

Pika spoke more smoothly and eagerly, and as they began a meandering walk towards town, she found herself drawn into a discussion of constellations and accompanying legends, fascinated to find a different explanation for some of the same stars that Samir had spoken of that night back at the Viking hideout.

As they came into sight of the docks, he threw a look her way. “Um, I’m sorry if you didn’t really want to be interrupted, with Nohea. Some girls don’t mind, but I wasn’t sure...um. He kind of doesn’t always admit what he’s looking for up front. Sometimes people get their feelings hurt.”

Serena felt baffled for a moment, and then a bit of advice from her mother from years before popped into her head. Something about certain boys acting like babymaking wouldn’t make babies, because they just wanted to feel the pleasure from it. “Um.” Her face suddenly felt like it was on fire, and she wondered if she could avoid the torchlight for the rest of the night. “Um. Thanks for telling me. Uh, no, I didn’t, um, mind. Being interrupted, I mean.”

“Okay. That’s good. I mean, I’m glad I was there, then. If I helped. By the way, they’re not all like that. The dancers. Most of them are really, really nice. Um, but the other ones are married, though.”

They came in range of the torchlight from the docks, where folks were still lingering after the luau. Then Pika tripped over a stone and landed back in the sand.

“Oh! Are you all right?” Serena asked, reaching out a hand.

“I’m fine! Sorry. That, uh, happens a lot.” He stood, eyes downcast, and she got her first good look at his features. Mostly unremarkable, except for a mole on his chin. Short hair stuck straight out from his head all around, a little unevenly. Sand stuck to his shirt, which was a little rumpled.

“I guess I should head home,” said Pika.

“Well, it was very nice to meet you,” Serena said. “I hope I’ll see you again.”

“Oh! O-okay.”

She watched him hurry off past the small crowd of revelers. Then she heard a familiar voice.

“Darling! There you are!” Sylvando appeared at her side. “Is everything all right? We saw that Nohea come through a bit ago with a face like a thundercloud. I was getting worried, honey.”

“Oh, hello, Sylv. Everything’s fine. Although to answer your question from earlier, no, I don’t think I do like Nohea very much after all. He’s not quite as nice as he seems.”

“Oh, dear, darling, I’m so sorry. He didn’t...Are you all right?”

“Hm? I’m fine. It’s just...We met someone else out there while he was trying to, uh, k-kiss me, and he got rather rude.”

“Oh, my.” Sylvando fell silent for a moment, then touched her very lightly on the arm. “I’m sorry, honey. You deserve only the best.”

“Um. Thank you, Sylvando.”

  


* * *

  


“Kahuna Hani, do you know Pika?”

“Oh, yes, the weaver’s boy. Quite a good touch with rope and nets.”

“Well, he did me a good turn yesterday, so I’d like to take something to him as a thank-you. Do you have any idea what would be appropriate?”

“Oh? Hmmm. Perhaps Nohea didn’t work out, then?”

“Wha...um, no. I’m afraid not.”

“Oh, well. I can tell his mother I tried. She does keep hoping that boy will settle down someday soon. Well, let’s see.”

She ended up bringing a scented candle, which the older man said would promote good health and good luck, to a flustered Pika. Then, impulsively, she invited him to accompany her to the circus event that evening.

He brought her a flower when he came to meet her. This one was white, and he handed it over to her without looking directly at her. She blinked at it, then hesitantly tucked it behind her ear. 

They walked toward the docks, and she confided, “To be honest, I don’t really understand why Nohea would have picked me to, to go walking with him. Francine and Chill are much more, you know, glamorous.”

Pika glanced at her. “I don’t know how other men would see you in other parts of the world. But here, you, um, you...you stand out like a lone yellow flower among the rocks. No one would say you are not beautiful.”

She looked at him sharply and found a blush darkening his face. Then they were at the Kahuna’s house, and she said her goodnight, feeling charmed and thoughtful.

Well, Veronica, she thought. I guess I should try and see.

  


* * *

  


So began a slow, shy courtship.

Pika began to take dinner at the Kahuna’s house at her request, and they went to the docks each evening. She let him take her out for stargazing twice more. She found it both amusing and sweet to hear him stutter when she leaned in close to follow the direction his arm was pointing to show her another constellation. By the end of the week, he grew bold enough to take her hand for just a moment. A quick, light squeeze.

But then it was less than a week until the Salty Stallion was due to leave, and she found herself anxious. She excused herself one afternoon and went to find Sylvando, who obligingly joined her at the bar.

“Well, darling, what’s on your mind?”

“Sylv, I don’t know if you noticed, but. I’ve kind of been, um. Spending a lot of time with Pika.”

“Yes, that adorable fellow. Are you an item, now, then?”

“That’s kind of the problem. He’s, you know. He’s kind, and sweet. He likes me. I, I guess I like him. He’s nice enough. But the Stallion is leaving this week.”

“Oh.” Sylvando’s eyes turned a little sad, but he gave her a smile. “You’re thinking of staying?”

Serena sighed. “I don’t know. The Kahuna has been very kind as well, and he wants me to stay. But I don’t...I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready.”

“Well, darling. I’ll miss you dearly if you don’t come with us, but ours is not the only vessel that comes to this port. If you need more time, you could take it. Or you could always come back again someday, if you just want to see what else is out there.”

Serena felt a sharp pang of sorrow at the idea of traveling on some other ship. “I...I’ll think about it.” She busied herself with her drink, and after a moment, Sylvando turned away to do the same.

“Sylvando!” A strange woman appeared to the other side of him. She had long, glossy black hair to her waist, and wore a small dress covered in a flower pattern, which left her well-toned arms and legs bare. Serena thought she might be one of the dancers Maria had mentioned. 

“I’ve been to all of your shows. I hoped I’d see you in town before you left. I had something I wanted to say to you.” The woman leaned in close as he turned to face her, and then she put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him.

Serena stared, blushing, feeling rude for her gaze but unable to look away. The other woman finally drew back, looking at Sylvando expectantly.

“Oh, my. I believe...Let’s take a little walk, shall we, good lady?” Sylvando turned. “Serena, please excuse me.”

She nodded, unable to find words, and watched him offer a hand to the other woman to lead her a little distance away, over near the edge of the bluff overlooking the ocean. Unable to make out the words, Serena watched Sylvando speaking earnestly to the woman, with sweeping gestures: a grand bow, a kiss on the hand, a hand over his heart. After a couple of minutes of this, the woman stepped away, shaking her head and smiling, and Sylvando let her go, before he rejoined Serena at the bar.

“What on Erdrea just happened?” she asked.

“I thought it would be more polite to let her down gently with a little bit of privacy.”

“Ah. Because of Dave?” she asked without thinking.

He didn’t reply for a moment, and she suddenly realized that he had never spoken of any relationship with Dave – it was only hearsay and rumor she’d gotten from the rest of the circus crowd. She stared down into her glass, wondering if she’d just blundered into saying something offensively presumptuous.

“Not...because of Dave. Not exactly.” He sounded a little strange, and when she glanced up, he gave her an awkward smile. “Not that you’re so far off. But Dave and I have never placed restrictions on each other, you see. He’d not be offended.” He looked away and took a sip of his own drink.

“S-so, she’s not your type?” Serena asked, too distracted by the indirect confirmation to think of any other comment, but feeling intuitively that prying was better than silence.

“Ah. Well. The real problem is, as I told her, I’m not looking to start something quick and brief, and here I am, bound to leave in only a few days.”

Serena absently filed that away for later consideration. “She seemed to take it pretty well. Is that really what you said?”

“I may have told her that I couldn’t afford to leave behind any more of my heart than she’d already taken.”

Serena laughed. “Only you could make somebody feel wonderful while you turn them down.”

“Do you think so? I did hope I could leave her with a smile, at least.”

  


* * *

  


That night was another dance performance by the circus group, Maria and Mateo to either side of Sylvando. He carried fans in each hand, this time, and wore a great burst of feathers attached to the back of his costume. She watched, soaking in the beauty and the joy of him, and she felt the old foolish dream sparking back to life, the wistful thought that maybe someday he would somehow think her beautiful too.

When the stage fell empty, she looked to find Pika studying her face.

“Serena,” he said, and then fell silent.

“Yes, Pika?”

“What do you feel for me?”

“Oh. Pika...I, I like you. You’re sweet, and thoughtful.”

He nodded slowly. “I like you too. A lot. But.” He looked down. “I’ve watched you watch the performers every night this week. You look at him like...like the wives of our dancers look at their men. Like a fish out of water looks at the ocean.”

Serena felt her mouth open, but she found no words to say. Pika continued instead. “Don’t settle for me. I’m never going to be your dancer. We both know that, and I don’t think I could live with you, knowing that.”

“Pika.” She felt her brows pinch together as she regarded him. “Oh, I’m sorry, Pika. You’re right, you should have someone who will pay you the attention you deserve. I don’t know if I’m really looking for a dancer, but I don’t think it’s in my heart to put down roots and stay here. Not right now.” The words came out impulsively, and after she’d spoken, she realized it was true.

He nodded, mouth twitching like he thought he should smile but didn’t have it in him. Her heart broke a little, but it was for him, not herself, so she lightly touched the back of his hand. “It really has been a lovely week, Pika, so, thank you. I hope you find another girl soon and make each other very happy.”

He managed a smile this time, small but there. “I hope you find your way to your dancer. Aloha, Serena.”

  


* * *

  


After final performance in Lonalulu, Serena joined the troupe up at their camp for their traditional finale celebration.

Mateo handed her a drink, something orange and sweet and tangy and potent. Then he looked around. “Everyone good? Who’s making a toast?”

“To a fabulous production, with the best performers on Erdrea!” declared Sylvando. Everyone cheered and took a drink.

“To our fearless leader!” said Grey.

“To our faithful groupie,” said Francine, waving her glass in Serena’s direction.

They continued until Serena realized she should have been a bit more conservative with her initial sipping. She nursed the last of her drink and waved off Mateo when he offered her a refill, knowing her tolerance was not very high.

“Serena, you’re running low,” observed Chill, moments later. “Mateo! We got an emergency over here!”

“No, no,” Serena waved them off again, laughing. “Any more and I’ll just fall asleep right here.”

“Oh. That’s no good. Hey, Samir! When’re you gonna start the tunes?”

“I was just waiting for you to ask.” He fetched his lute and launched into a lively melody.

“C’mon, Serena.” Chill set down her own second empty glass and pulled on Serena’s arm until she stood up. “Don’t fall asleep. Let’s dance!”

“What? Oh, I’m sure I can’t keep up with you.”

“Shh. There’s no keeping up. There’s no rules tonight. You just move how you wanna move. Come on!” She started moving in a freeform dance, elegant and sinuous. “Come on, ladies! Serena, come ooooon.” She grabbed Serena’s hands and forcibly waved her arms around until Serena laughed and obediently started trying to comply.

Maria joined them, smiling, drink still in one upraised hand. Francine, smiling slightly and eyes half closed, added herself to the group, dancing in a confident way that emphasized her curves, and Serena grew more self-conscious of her own unfamiliar and awkward efforts.

Then Sylvando leapt to his feet and joined the growing circle next to Serena, beaming a smile at her as he started to dance as well, fluid and graceful and playful. Suddenly, she wanted to keep dancing, because she thought if she stopped then he might stop too, and she wanted to watch him forever.

“Didn’t you say ladies, Chill?” asked Francine.

“Do I need to put on a dress to be allowed in, honey? Don’t think I won’t.”

“Nah,” said Chill. “Everybody dance!”

Grey and Mateo joined in, Mateo carrying a fascinated Lena. Leo hung back by the fire, looking conflicted, until his father gave him a smile and a sharp tilt of the head, and then the boy seemed to weigh his options before coming to join the rest of the group. He gave the women across the circle an uncomfortable look as he halfheartedly started to dance.

“Come on, Leo,” called Sylvando. “Show us old people how it’s done!”

Leo looked over, smiled, and suddenly relaxed and started moving, trying to copy Sylvando, who took advantage of the opportunity to begin a series of more and more outlandish maneuvers. Soon the entire group was trying to copy Sylvando, and then they began taking turns inventing different moves.

“Tropical shower!” declared Sylvando, wiggling his fingers from high in the air to low.

“Tropical shower!” confirmed the group, imitating him.

“Dodging arrows!” shouted Grey, swaying dramatically from side to side.

“Dodging arrows!” 

“Help, I’m drowning!” yelled Leo, wildly waving his arms in the air. The repeating chorus was a little broken up by laughter, but the adults willingly played along.

Francine popped up between Serena and Chill, handing out more drinks, and a distracted Serena took one without thinking. Not wanting to be impolite by wasting it, and worried about spilling, she took a long drink, and before long she started feeling unbalanced. “I’m gonna have to sit down for a minute,” she said, and managed to make it over to sit near Samir without stumbling.

She didn’t remember laying down, but she woke at dawn to find the camp quiet. Someone had draped a light blanket over her, which smelled faintly of flowers. She folded it and set it carefully on a nearby rock before she brushed herself off and headed for Kahuna Hani’s home to prepare for departure from Lonalulu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've attempted some real-world cultural research, but (1) I'm likely to have missed a lot of nuance there and (2) some details are more based on my interpretation of Erdrea. Like that there are only two times in the game I recall seeing anyone actually touch each other in an affectionate way, and the only lovey-dovey random NPC couple I remember is in Lonalulu.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving content warnings to end-of-chapter notes to avoid spoilers.

Upon leaving Lonalulu, they took a less direct route back to the other side of the world. “Next time, I reckon we’ll want to keep this route both directions, avoid those deep sea tentaculars,” mused Dave.

They stopped in at a number of small island and coastal settlements, sometimes a tiny village, sometimes only a single house. True to Dave’s predictions, at each stop, the residents were delighted to have visitors and offered them a solid meal at a minimum, and sometimes little gifts to take away after the performers put on a small informal show.

Serena made a point of offering her services as a healer, and in almost every case, these isolated folks wanted to at least buy some fresh medicine in case of cough or fever.

Cures for poison were also in high demand. Serena had the opportunity once to cast an immediate spell to squelch poison from spreading after a spider bite. “No, don’t kill it!” said the afflicted old man to Francine, who produced a dagger from up her sleeve to menace the rather large spider. “It was my fault for surprising the poor critter. Let it go free.” Serena left him with a large supply of antidotal herbs, and Francine pointedly checked over their rowboat and the people in it before they boarded the Stallion again.

She also encountered a number of people with chronic illnesses, which they’d simply been leaving untreated for lack of access to medical care. In most of these cases, she had something on hand to help, and she made notes about what kinds of medical supplies would be needed by each settlement in the future, in case she came back again, or at least so she could advise another potential provider.

Throughout the trip, when not preoccupied with her work, Serena found herself watching each interaction between Sylvando and either Francine or Chill, imagining either of them as a perfect match for him, if he was really looking for a long term relationship. They acted the same as ever: banter, and a frequent hint of scolding from Francine toward Sylvando.

But then, they still believed him in a secret relationship with Dave. Which he was. Apparently. Sort of. She was still a bit vague on what the details of that would be, and not sure how to take the apparent lack of commitment. He’d hinted at wanting a new serious, long term relationship. But didn’t the two men already have one?

Curious enough to pay a little more attention to Dave, she developed a new appreciation for his skills as a navigator and sailor. She began a habit of stopping by to visit him at the helm when she had Lena, keeping the tiny girl at a respectful distance while she asked questions about his methods, and she learned that he drew his own maps, but he’d memorized the geography of the islands and the layout of the stars so that even if he lost everything on paper he’d still be able to get the ship anywhere he wanted to go. Even for the tiny islands that barely were noticeable on a map, he could say what kind of settlement he’d discovered there, or some other distinguishing feature.

  


* * *

  


One of the smaller islands held only a husband and wife who seemed a little bit reserved. Sylvando chatted with them for a while and ended up offering music and some of the more elegant dances in the troupe’s repertoire after the man indicated a distaste for “nonsense” like juggling.

The woman, Lucille, served them a flavorful but thin soup with an apologetic smile, and Serena wondered whether they didn’t have the supplies to spare, or if this was a reflection of her husband’s lack of regard for entertainers. 

Either way, Serena offered her services as a healer for free. The man declined, but Lucille looked at the ground and said, “I did fall and hurt myself the other day when I was out gathering supplies. Maybe you could help?”

Serena nodded, followed her inside the small house, and inspected her injuries. She had a bruise along her jaw and a bone in her hand seemed to be fractured. The injuries were days old, so it took a couple of spells to get the healing to take effect properly, and she wasn’t sure she’d gotten the hand to a hundred percent. She added the kahuna’s slow healing booster spell for good measure.

“So have you been to many other islands like this?” Lucille asked.

“Yes. Eight or ten? Dave says we have at least as many left to go.”

“How are the people there?”

“Well, each island is a little different, but everyone’s been kind and welcoming to us.”

“Do you think any of them would welcome a new person to live there?”

“Hmm. Maybe. They…” She trailed off, thinking about the bruise, the hand. “Are you...You didn’t fall, out gathering supplies alone.”

The woman looked down. “I’m afraid one day it will be too much,” she whispered. “Someday I won’t be able to get up and walk away. He won’t mean it, but it’ll get out of hand, and...I’m tired. I’m so tired of living this way.”

Serena felt herself tearing up. She reached out and took hold of the woman’s good hand. Squeezed. “You shouldn’t have to. Come with us. I’m sure one of the other islands will take you in, or you could come back to the mainland.”

“Are you sure? You don’t mind?”

“I can’t imagine Sylv turning someone away who needed help like this. Do you need anything? Are you ready to go now?”

“I need to tell him. Or else he won’t believe it’s my choice, and he’ll try to find a way to follow me. But...can you come with me?”

“Of course.”

The troupe was at the beach, loading their supplies back onto the rowboat, when Serena accompanied the woman outside to face her husband.

“Nar, I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“Yes.”

“What are you talking about, Lu?”

“I can’t bear living here with you anymore. You’ve hurt me too many times, and I’m leaving. Don’t follow me.” Lucille’s words were firm but rushed, and she didn’t quite look at his face.

“You…!” His lip curled and he took a step forward. “Just like that? After all I’ve done for you?” Ungrateful…” He raised a hand.

“Hey!” Serena pulled Lucille back and stepped in front of her. “That is unacceptable. You—”

She was interrupted with the man’s fist hitting her face. The shock of it disoriented her for a moment, spun her sideways, and she could make out the tone but not the meaning of the words he was spitting at her, and the pleading of Lucille beside her who was now holding her arm, and the coppery taste of blood.

She’d taken plenty of hits before during fights. She wasn’t big or sturdy enough to stay upright through the same kind of punishment that most of her companions were able to survive, but this was far from the worst she’d experienced, and she knew well enough how to push back awareness of the pain and function through it with a calm determination. She’d faced down thousands of monsters, knowing they were a near-mindless menace that needed to be defeated, and a number of villains who’d clearly established that they would do anything to get their way, no matter the harm to innocents. She’d fought out of duty, and she usually took a practical, supporting role.

This was different. She’d shared a meal with this man, offered him medical care, and even after kindness from herself, her friends, even his own wife, he would still raise a hand against those physically weaker than himself? Betray people who trusted him?

Furious, she called up her magic and threw a great stream of wind against him, picking him up and pinning him against the house.

“I said, that is unacceptable,” she said, speaking in a sharp tone to project over the noise of the wind. The edges of the spell flowed around her and Lucille, stirring their hair and their skirts. “You will stay here, and Lucille will leave, and you will respect her choice, and you will never raise a hand against another human again unless they are physically trying to harm you. Do you agree?”

He mouthed something that was lost in the wind. “What was that?” Serena asked. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“Yes! I said yes!”

She watched him for another moment, then relaxed her magic. He fell to his hands and knees, gasping. “Witch!” he muttered.

Still angry and deciding a little more incentive wouldn’t hurt, she nodded. “That’s right. I’m putting a curse on you. If you ever harm an unarmed woman again, you shall be turned into a mouse.”

He pushed to his feet and backed away with fear across his face. He bumped into the side of the house again and shifted sideways to gain more distance. Serena cast another spell to heal herself without blinking, holding his eyes the whole while.

The man cursed. “Fine! Take her and go.” His eyes shifted to his wife, and his mouth twisted, then he turned and stormed inside the house, slamming the door behind him.

Serena glared after him, then registered a sob from the woman beside her, and the anger made way for concern. “Are you all right?” she asked.

“I...Let’s go. Please.”

Serena nodded, gently took her arm and turned.

The circus troupe was standing a few paces away, watching, with Sylvando and Grey toward the front of the group. “Ah...Sylv?” she said, a little self-conscious of her display and the fact that she hadn’t actually gotten permission from him first for a new passenger. He held a hand in the air with fingers curled, as though he’d been prepared to intervene and then interrupted himself. “Our friend here needs a ride.”

“Of course, darling,” he said. “Whatever you need. I give you my word: you’ll be safe with us.” He glanced over at the women of the troupe, and Maria seemed to take a cue to step forward and reintroduce herself, drawing their new guest toward the ship at the same time.

Sylvando fell into step beside Serena, and while the others were distracted, he produced a handkerchief from somewhere and offered it to her, pointing to the corner of his own mouth. She took the handkerchief and swiped at her lip, found the residual trace of blood, and folded the handkerchief up. He inspected her face, then nodded took the cloth back from her. The exchange was familiar from their earlier days on the road together, though on some days their collective mess had gotten so out of hand that even Sylvando silently agreed to ignore it until making camp.

“All right?” he murmured.

“Yes. Thanks.”

“I’m afraid Veronica owes me a fireball for my negligence.”

Serena let a corner of her mouth turn up, though she was still feeling a certain amount of righteous anger. “I can take care of myself.”

“You certainly can, darling.”

  


* * *

  


Dave was the one to make a suggestion for where to drop off their refugee. “There’s an island a bit southwest of here. They warned me away when I was scouting, saying men weren’t welcome, but I think that may mean a woman would be.”

So a couple of days later, Serena stepped to the railing and hailed a woman in a fishing boat off the coast of the island.

“I remember that ship! I told the captain then, men aren’t welcome here!”

“What about women?” Serena called.

The woman in the ship scowled up at her. “If I come closer, will you swear safe passage for me?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

The woman rowed her boat into comfortable speaking range and stood up. “All right, what do you want?”

“There are a few things we wanted to talk about. First, my name is Serena, and I’m a practicing healer. I’ve been offering my services as we go from island to island. Second, this ship is a circus ship, and the troupe has been offering performances in exchange for a meal. Third, we wanted to know what your island is like and if you are taking in new residents.”

“What do you mean, new residents?”

“Well, just one woman. She’s looking for a new home, and she might need protection from an angry husband.”

The woman in the rowboat straightened. “All right, you’ve got my attention on all counts. Are you part of the circus troupe?”

“Not exactly. I’m just traveling with them.”

“Let me speak to their leader.”

Serena waved Sylvando up to the railing.

“Hello, darling, I’m Sylvando, and I’m the head of the circus troupe. You wanted to see me?”

The fisherwoman pressed her lips together. “Don’t talk down to me because I’m a woman,” she said, sharply.

“I apologize for offending. I promise, I’d have spoken no differently to a man. What shall I call you?”

She frowned. “You can call me Rue. Are there women in your troupe?”

“Yes. Three. We’re willing to drop anchor here and send in part of our group if you like, although we can’t offer much music if you won’t take any men.”

“Okay. Only women are allowed into Sanctuary, so unless you’re going to put on a skirt and let us call you ma’am, we’ll not let you in.” A hint of a smirk touched Rue’s lips.

“Ah. Rue, I’m going to have to ask you to be a little more direct than that. Is that a serious invitation, or do you really want me to not set foot on your island at all?”

Rue blinked and lost the smirk. “I...It’s a serious invitation. If you come in as a woman, and act respectfully, you’re allowed.”

“Wonderful.”

They negotiated a little longer while the rest of the troupe exchanged glances. Sylvando waved as Rue rowed away, then spun and clasped his hands together.

“All right, ladies. I think we’re doing long skirts today. Something that will swing out when you dance. Fancy as you like. Gentlemen, any takers? It’s optional, of course.”

Mateo and Timothy were shaking their heads, and Grey hesitated, then shook his head too. “Don’t think I could pull it off without more time. You’re going, Sylv?”

“You don’t have to do this, Sylv,” said Chill. “We can carry a show without you.”

“I know you can, darling, but you know me. Can’t pass up an opportunity to meet some new smiles. Might take me a bit to get ready, though, so if you’re out first, feel free to brainstorm some acts without me. I can do a bit with my dulzaina, and we could do a drum dance, and some juggling, but that’s about as far as I’ve gotten. Don’t count on me for magic tricks. I’m not sure what kind of sleeves I’ll have.”

He smiled brightly, waved, and breezed off indoors. The troupe exchanged another look, and Francine shrugged. “Well, I can do a little sleight-of-hand, I suppose.”

“You don’t think this is weird?” asked Chill.

“It’s Sylv. It’s a stage. What do you expect?” answered Francine.

“I guess.”

“It wasn’t unheard of in Heliodor,” said Grey. “Back when I was a guard, I had to help break up a fight once outside a tavern where men had dressed as women for a performance. Very colorful. I could imagine Sylv participating.”

“Octagonia, too,” said Francine. “Pretty much anything went when folks had to figure out unique tournament costumes. Actually, pretty much anything went when folks had to figure out what they wanted to wear outside.”

“Well, it’s a bit late to stop him now,” said Maria. “We might as well go get ready.”

Serena passed a little time checking over her medical kit and thinking. Sylvando dressed as a woman? Francine was right: if he thought it would help him make people happy, he wouldn’t hesitate to do it and take the stage. She just hoped his charisma was up to the task of appearing to be womanly enough to somehow avoid offending Rue and her people.

She joined the others back on deck and watched the women gathered together in colorful long dresses, talking, gesturing, and planning. 

“Well, it’s nice we get a day off, isn’t it?” asked Grey.

“Speak for yourself,” said Mateo, but he was smiling as he held Lena’s hands to help her walk across the deck.

Then the door opened again, and all conversations stopped.

“Hello, darlings! My name is Sylvia. You may call me Sylv if you like, but please consider me to be a lady as long as you see me in a dress. What do you think?”

Serena stared as Sylvando – Sylvia? – stepped out onto the deck, smiling, with arms held a little away from her sides, and twirled. The movement set her long violet skirt billowing out, with darker ruffled layers fluttering. The bodice was tight against her body, with another wide, dark ruffle all the way along the neckline and the top of the dress which left a question of what exactly her body shape was underneath. There were fitted long sleeves, but her shoulders were bare, except for her thick, wavy, dark hair, which framed the sides of her face and hung just to the top of her shoulders. She wore a top hat which was a little too small for a proper hat, but somehow it stayed on top of her head when she moved, and it matched the purple of the dress.

Maria spoke first. “Is that dress from Puerto Valor?”

“So the shopkeeper claimed. It’s got a thing or two in common with the styles there, anyway.” 

“Is that a wig?” asked Chill. “Did you shave?”

“You can’t tell, darling? That’s reassuring.”

“Are you going to be able to juggle in that?” asked Francine.

“Throw me something and let’s find out, honey.”

Sylvia spoke in a recognizable voice, but her speech kept to the softer range of what Serena had ever heard from Sylvando. She still dipped into a playful tone, though. 

As Serena watched Sylvia go through a practice run of juggling and dancing, she came to the conclusion that Sylvia could not possibly offend the women on the island, as long as their invitation was made in good faith. Sylvia was entirely believable as a woman, and she was entirely as beautiful and captivating as Sylvando.

  


* * *

  


The crowd that met them wore a variety of expressions from cheerful anticipation to suspicious reserve. Sylvia stepped forward with a bright smile.

“Hello, everyone! It’s wonderful to meet all of you. My name is—”

“Sylvia?” interrupted a stranger from the crowd.

“Ah…”

“Sylvia! It is you, isn’t it?”

“Tina? Oh, what a lovely surprise, darling!” Sylvia extended her arms as a tall woman stepped forward to embrace her. “How long has it been?”

“Years. Too long. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’ve ruined your grand entrance.”

“Nonsense. Now you’re just part of my grand entrance. Thank you so much for the introduction, darling.” Sylvia beamed and pulled her new companion to face the crowd with her. “That’s right. My name is Sylvia, and this is my circus troupe.”

The reserve melted away from the crowd and Serena saw almost everyone smiling while Sylvia finished her introductions. 

The locals enthusiastically welcomed Serena’s offer of medical care and led her to a small house where they left her alone for a few minutes so she could set up the space to her satisfaction for patient consultations. While she laid out some of the most likely medicines and tools she expected to want, she heard pieces of a conversation coming through the open window as someone walked past, and she took a moment to realize the first voice was Sylvia’s friend.

“For a minute, when I saw you, I thought you must have settled on...but Rue said the troupe was led by a man.”

“Ah, well. She doesn’t come out very often, these days.” That was Sylvia.

“That’s a shame. You do her so well.”

A rustling of cloth, and Sylvia’s softer pitched words became harder to understand as the footsteps faded into the distance. “I never felt entirely like...not the way you felt. I can manage about a day as one extreme...want to say or do something that doesn't quite fit. But it feels easier to come across as...” An indistinct sentence or two, then, “...don’t have to keep explaining over and over...” Then she couldn’t make out anything else.

Embarrassed for eavesdropping, even if the parts she could make out had been mostly baffling, Serena moved to close the window. It wouldn’t do to let people outside hear her patients speaking, either.

The women of the settlement came in one by one and Serena asked her routine questions for a basic checkup and examined anything that her patients requested. She found a slightly higher than average rate of old injuries affecting the population. Her magic let her heal a few more recent ones, but she could only offer painkillers and advice for aiding a slow recovery in several cases.

When Rue came in, the other woman broached the subject herself. “I guess by now, you’ve noticed a pattern, huh? So you get why a lot of us aren't really excited to have a bunch of men on the island.”

“The injuries?”

“Uh huh.”

“Have you talked with our refugee?”

“Yeah, she’s exactly the kind of person we founded Sanctuary for. She’ll be welcome.”

“I was wondering about the skirt rule. If some of the women find it traumatic to be around men, does that really help?”

“So far, no other passing ships have taken us up on it. Really, there’s only one other ship that has actually stopped here. Lady captain. Dropped us off in the first place, and comes by with another settler or just supplies from time to time. Anyway, we know it’s not a true guarantee of good behavior, but most of us never really wanted to ban all men forever. If they come in following the skirt rule, at least it's a clear signal that they're prepared to put in some effort to abide by our rules, which is a good sign. The other reason we needed an exception...well, I imagine you’ll figure that out by the time you leave. So, do you have some cough medicine for sale?” The subject change was obvious enough that Serena didn’t push.

One of her last patients was Tina, Sylvia’s friend. Serena started off feeling a little awkward over hearing bits of the earlier private conversation, but she proceeded through her checklist of health related questions in her best businesslike manner.

“And when was your last cycle?”

Tina opened her mouth, but didn’t say anything for a long moment. Serena tried a reassuring smile.

“I...don’t have them. Uh…”

“For how long?”

“I don’t have them at all. I...You really couldn’t tell?”

“Tell what?”

“I wasn’t...I’m not...I don’t have, um. I, I was born and raised as a boy.”

This time it was Serena who opened her mouth but failed to speak. “Oh,” she managed, finally. “I see. So you...Oh. All right.” She tried to process this information, but it was far enough beyond her experience that she felt as slow as Veronica claimed. The first explanation that popped into her head was that this was some kind of plot for a man to secretly sneak into a group of women with some unpleasant motivation. Slightly concerned, she tried to figure out a way to follow up. “On this island...Have you lived here long?”

“I came with the first group. Most of us were from Heliodor, and several of us had, well, problems with certain powerful and wealthy people there. It was easier to leave than try to figure out a way to discourage them.”

“Oh. How dreadful. So you, er, dressed this way to escape notice?”

“N-no. I got noticed after I dressed this way. I...I know it’s hard to understand, if you haven’t ever gotten to know someone like me, but, I do think of myself as a woman.” Tina raised her chin and added in a slightly more firm tone, “I am a woman.”

“All right.” Serena nodded once, deciding that Tina was essentially what she appeared to be and feeling bad for doubting her. Certainly, she should have known better than to doubt a friend of Sylvia. “I’m sorry for prying. I won’t say anything about your, er, past, to anyone else.”

“Thank you.” Tina relaxed a little bit. “Not that it’s really a secret, here, but, I appreciate your understanding.”

Serena nodded again. “Ah, you don’t have to do this, but, would you be willing to share a little information about the offenders in Heliodor? We, I know Jade, Princess Jade. I’m pretty sure she’d like to know about bad behavior, and she may be able to do something about it. I won’t tell her about this island, unless all of you actually want me to.”

“The princess?” Tina looked taken aback. “Are, are you a noblewoman?”

“No, no. I knew her before she returned to Heliodor. She was living as a traveling martial artist.”

“Oh. I heard she was alive and had visited the castle, but we joined a caravan and left town before she came back again. Then as soon as we heard the seas were safe, and there was land to be claimed, and we found a ship headed out from Puerto Valor captained by an old friend of Rue’s, it sounded too perfect to pass up.” She looked down. “The only thing I regretted about leaving was knowing other women would still be hurt. Spreading warnings amongst ourselves only can do so much. So, yes. I’ll tell you what I can.”

Serena made notes, pressing her lips together as she wrote down the details of the situations the noblemen in question would engineer to control the women in whom they took an interest, and the kinds of harm they had enacted. By the time she finished, she was thoroughly angry, and it took her a long minute to resign herself to the fact that there was nothing she could do instantly about the matter.

“Thank you. And sorry. You came in here for a healer, and here I’m ready to go off and do battle. But it’s going to take time.” She shook her head and tried a smile. “For now, we should get back to you.”

Serena managed to calm down enough to do her job, but after she finished with the last patients and went to pack up her kit, her fingers brushed the folded paper and she scowled again.

She stepped outside, saw the local women mingling with the troupe, and her eyes paused on Sylvia. Then Sylvia looked in her direction before Serena realized she was still frowning. Sylvia said something to the small group she was talking to and began moving in Serena’s direction.

“Hello, darling,” said Sylvia as she approached. “Is that frown for me?”

“What? No. Sorry, Sylv. I just, a lot of these women have been through some awful things. I’ve never wanted to pick a fight with a specific set of humans before, quite like this.”

“I see. That explains why I’ve never seen that look on your face before, besides perhaps the last island. Well, I’ll be happy to play sidekick to Fierce Protector Serena any time. Just say the word and we’ll go.”

This startled her into a slight smile and a slightly better mood. “Thanks, Sylv. I think Jade’s going to be the proper person to handle it, but I’ll let you know if I end up becoming a vigilante.”

She spent a little while mingling with the locals on her own, learning about this particular settlement’s trials and victories with respect to becoming a self-sufficient village. It wasn’t really unlike most of the other island settlements, but she still loved meeting new people and seeing the commonalities between different groups. She learned that everyone here spent some amount of time in weapons training, which made Serena feel a little nostalgic, because it was the same in Arboria. She spared a thought to wish Veronica was here to meet these women, and to see Sylvia dressed up.

Then the troupe gathered to perform. Of course Serena had seen much of the afternoon’s routines before, but it was rare that any of them wore long skirts, since it wasn’t practical for their usual acrobatics, so even the juggling held an extra flair. The motion of the skirts that Sylvia and Francine wore slightly emphasized their movements whenever when they shifted to be able to make a catch when one of the colorful balls went a little off center.

Then there was dancing, with Chill playing her drum and the others twirling and stomping a counterpoint. They used their skirts like an accessory, swinging them around like the fan dances she’d seen them do other times. Serena’s eyes stuck on Sylvia after a moment, and she found Sylvia was as graceful, confident, and joyful as Sylvando ever was. 

The audience held onto their good cheer after the performance, as usually happened in Serena’s observations. After a communal meal, Tina brought out with an old, battered lute, and Sylvia fetched her dulzaina, and the two of them began playing a simple tune together, something a little more sedate than most of what the circus produced. The locals laughed and stood to form a circle around the musicians. Someone grabbed Serena’s hand and dragged her along. “Don’t worry, it’s an easy dance. Just watch someone who looks like they know what they’re doing and copy them.”

To Serena’s relief, this dance was simpler and slower than even the folk dances she knew from Arboria. The group held hands and took simple steps to rotate the circle or move in and out from the center. Serena relaxed even further as she realized not everyone among the residents knew the dance, either, but it didn’t stop anyone from participating, and everyone she saw was smiling throughout.

She found Lucille before they left.

“What do you think? Do you want to stay here?”

“Yes! Yes, this is perfect. Everyone is so kind.” Lucile teared up, and Serena did too. “Thank you so much.”

The sky was dark by the time they bid farewell to the island, and they had to navigate by the lamps on the rowboat and on the ship when they departed. Sylvia took a turn at the oars, and once again, Serena watched her until she worried she was being impolite, but when she looked away, she noticed the others doing the same.

“Well, Sylvia,” offered Francine, “You make a very fine lady. I feel like one of us should have worn something less fancy to be the designated oarswoman, though.”

“Thank you, darling. But I always liked the image of a fancy lady putting in a bit of elbow grease.”

As usual, Dave gave Serena a hand as she returned from the rowboat to the deck of the Stallion, and she smiled her thanks and then moved to make way for the others. Maria and Chill followed suit as normal, but the acrobats had a habit of making their own way off the small boat. Today, Francine hesitated, then sighed and muttered, “Useless long skirts,” used one hand to lift the bulk of the cloth out of the way, and accepted a hand from Dave without looking directly at him.

Sylvia took her turn with more grace. “Thank you, darling,” she said to Dave, smiling so that the corners of her eyes crinkled. “Very gentlemanly of you.”

“Mm hmm.” Dave’s tone was less than enthusiastic, and Serena was in position to see Sylvia’s smile flicker just a little before she pulled it back on and spun to face the rest of the crew.

“Well, I’d say that was a fine success! We have a standing invitation to return, a list of things they’d like to trade, our refugee has found a home, they made a nice little donation to the troupe, and we’re leaving a lot of smiles behind us. Well done, ladies. Gentlemen, I hope you weren’t too bored without us.”

“I won at poker!” exclaimed Leo. “I called Dave’s bluff!”

“My. That’s an achievement, darling. I’d say the mask is cheating, but he says the same thing about my sleeves, which is a fair point.”

The crew dispersed, chatting and mostly drifting towards their cabins for the night. Serena stopped in the kitchen to rinse some empty bottles from her medicine kit, and for the second time that day, she found herself accidentally eavesdropping on Sylvia, who began holding a muted conversation in the hall, almost directly on the other side of the door.

“...bothers you?”

“...don’t love it.” That was Dave. “How long have you had that thing?”

“...first long Heliodor trip.”

“...years...waste of space?”

“...shouldn’t have let me have such a large closet if you didn’t want me to use it.”

“...do what you want…some kind of delicate flower if you...”

“...doesn’t really change...still the same…under...”

“If that’s the case, then you won’t mind if…”

A beat of silence after Dave’s voice went too low and quiet for Serena to understand, and then a soft laugh from Sylvia. “All right.”

Then footsteps, and a click of a door down the hall. Serena guiltily finished up with her washing, feeling bad for eavesdropping but glad that they seemed to have ended the tense discussion on a friendly note.

She wondered if she ought to stop by and visit Sylvia. If she should ask what Sylvia meant to Sylvando. She thought about times she’d seen Sylvando taking on a heroic, exaggeratedly masculine persona, like his performance in the Octagonia tournament, and she thought he enjoyed those moments too much to ever be inclined to live strictly as a woman the way Tina did. Yet Sylvia wasn’t the least bit self-conscious, at least until someone challenged her about her dress, and then she certainly wasn’t apologetic about it. Maybe she’d welcome friendly interest instead of a challenge.

Then Serena thought over the earlier conversation she’d overheard, and Sylvia commenting to Tina about perhaps not wanting to explain herself over and over. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to ask. Maybe it was better to just accept. Sylvando could bring it up later if he wanted to.

It wasn’t until she’d climbed into her bunk that she realized she’d only heard one door open and close after the pair had ended their conversation. That Sylvia might have been saying she was the same person under her dress, and Dave asking to...

Serena covered her face with her hands and spent a long, embarrassed moment being extremely grateful she’d decided not to attempt a visit after all. She spent several more moments alternating between imagining what she might have interrupted between the two of them and then virtuously trying to distract herself from such wildly inappropriate thoughts.

She thought about the time El had presented Jade with a bunny costume in Puerto Valor.

“You want me to wear this?” Jade asked dubiously. El nodded. “Is it important?” A pause and a more hesitant nod. Jade had gone to change, followed their Luminary out to the beach, then later stormed back to the group without him. “I don’t know what he was thinking! He’s just so used to helping people that he’ll go along with whatever they ask him for? Up to and including parading me around in this getup in front of some old pervert who just wanted something to think about later!”

“Oh, honey, without even explaining or asking you? That’s not okay. I’ll have a talk with him,” Sylvando had said. A talk with El, she thought, though she wouldn’t put it past him to go scold the “old pervert” either.

Serena suspected Sylvando wouldn’t really mind being the target of anyone’s secret infatuation, given the way he came alive on stage, the way he loved an audience, the way he playfully flirted with anyone, and the way he’d reacted to the woman in Lonalulu. But she'd never entertained any romantic interest in Dave, and he’d certainly never flirted with her or invited such attention, and whatever might be between Dave and Sylvando was clearly intended to be private.

So Serena was pretty sure she shouldn’t be laying here speculating about Sylv embracing Dave, or Dave undoing the laces on Sylvia’s dress, or Sylvando taking off Dave’s mask, or...

She went through four complete determined mental repetitions of the herb list she’d studied in Lonalulu before she finally drifted off, her mind wandering off its leash into a slightly tamer attempt to figure out which purple flowered plant reminded her most of the dark ruffle framing Sylvia’s bare shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: evidence of physical abuse, and some uneducated reactions to varied gender expressions, and I swear I didn't mean it this way but I'm a little concerned that at first glance there might appear to be borderline [straw feminists](http://www.harkavagrant.com/?id=341) (okay maybe that comic link needs content warnings of its own, I'm gonna go with a catch-all nsfw)


	8. Chapter 8

By the time they reached the channel to Puerto Valor and the inner sea, Serena felt like she had earned the right to call herself a proper healer, beyond only the specialized case of battlefield magic.

Feeling conscious of Sylvando’s layers of mystery that she’d never fully understood, she began a more concerted effort to approach him during the odd moments she found him by himself: manning the helm to give Dave a break while they were too near a coastline to leave the wheel tied and unattended, or when he took a turn in the kitchen. She was too embarrassed to pry further into his love life and still hesitant about bringing up Sylvia, so she began to ask him about his past.

She learned of his turbulent relationship with his papi, his training as a knight. The first time he saw the circus, and the pure joy he found in it. That first revelation that he could step out of the somber, serious, repetitive and dutiful path laid out for him, and into something wild and freeing. 

“I’d also recently realized that part of being a knight meant being ready to go to war. That I might someday have to do my best to kill another person. Or perhaps worse, if I followed in Papi’s footsteps, I might lead men, and I might have to give that command myself to the people following me.” He smiled a little, but it wasn’t a happy smile, and his brows were pinched together.

“Oh, Sylv.”

He shrugged, and when he resumed speaking, he’d regained a more cheerful manner. “So, when this other possibility turned up in front of me, where I could simply run away and instead spend my life touching the world with love, and only gifting happiness to other people, I couldn’t resist.”

This brought tears to her eyes, standing there on the deck at his side. She touched his arm for just a moment, then drew back. As she blinked to clear her eyes, she caught Francine staring up at them from across the deck, mouth flat, before she looked away.

“Serena,” Sylvando said, distracting her from Francine. “Would you care to join me for tea later this evening? I could use your advice on something of a personal matter.”

“Of course, Sylv.”

  


* * *

  


Serena sat with Sylvando in the padded chairs in his room, making small talk and waiting for the tea to be cool enough to drink.

Finally, Serena gave him a gentle prompt. “You said you wanted my advice?”

Sylvando gazed into his teacup. “We’re coming up on Puerto Valor, soon.”

“Ah. You’re thinking about your father.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready. I told him I would make the whole world smile, made it a knight’s oath, when I left to join the circus. But I haven’t been around the world with my circus, yet.”

“Oh, Sylv. You have been around the world, with El, though, and I think we gave things to smile about to different people all over, then. Even discounting the things we did on behalf the whole world at once. Doesn’t that fulfill your oath?”

“Yes. I suppose so. Papi seemed like he might allow that interpretation, last I visited. But…” He sighed. “I want the show to be perfect. I want to impress my papi. Show him that I’ve kept training every day, even though the moves are a little different. I want him to love the circus, just for a moment, like I love it.”

“Sylvando…” She impulsively reached to cover his hand with hers. Didn’t let herself be distracted by the heat of his fingers where they had been touching the teacup. “Why don’t you tell him that, first? So he knows what to look for.”

He looked up at her, eyes wide, and then a breath puffed out of him, half a laugh. “Is that what grownups do with their parents? Just talk things out. Say what they’re really thinking.”

Serena smiled. “I don’t know. Probably not everyone. But if you think you can bear it, maybe it would help. I can tell that you love each other, or you wouldn’t have reconciled at all after hurting each other so badly in the first place.”

He looked down at her hand. Self-consciously realizing how long she’d left it there, she withdrew.

“You’re right, of course. I am sorry for the way things happened between us when I was younger, if not the part where I got to live the life I want. Maybe there could have been a way for me to do it without so bitter a fight.” He thought for a moment. “Or maybe not. But I suppose I could try and see, now.”

He turned his teacup in its saucer, and she waited, unsure if there was more forthcoming. There was.

“It’s not only my papá,” he said slowly. “Everyone in town knows Don Rodrigo, and his son Norberto who ran away. I changed my name, the way I act, the way I dress, and I pretend I’m going to the house on business when I visit. I think there is a rumor in town that a spy is in the Don’s employ. And yet, I am entirely certain that someone else will recognize me if I perform with a large enough audience, even if Papi doesn’t publicly acknowledge me. And they will tell someone, and they will tell someone, until it’s all over town. I don’t know what to expect. Perhaps they will despise me. Perhaps they will say, ‘There’s old Norberto at last, the boy who brought shame and sadness upon his family and his town. What right does he have to come here and tell us to smile?’”

“Sylv…” She half reached for his hand again, then hesitated, not wanting to seem like she was just looking for an excuse to hold his hand. But he looked so miserable. So she reached with both hands, this time, to take hold of his near hand.

“Sylv, I’m having a really hard time picturing anyone despising you. But maybe if you’re worried, you could try going around town, first. Say hello to some old friends, maybe? Just talk to people. As yourself. As Sylvando who was Norberto. Let them see that you have grown up to be kind and beautiful and strong and you still care about them and their good opinion. I think they will respond well to you. Most likely, by the end of the day, they will be demanding that you set up the circus and perform for them.”

Sylvando stared at her, grey eyes held wide. “I...Do you really think that?”

“I do think that,” she said, firmly.

He looked down, smiling, and brought his other hand to cover hers for a moment. “That means a great deal to me. Thank you, Serena.” He released her, gently, and she pulled back.

She smiled back at him, thoroughly warmed by the feeling of cheering him up. “Well, tell me. Who do you think you might go talk to first?”

“Hmm. There was an older woman, who used to give out pastries to the boys in training…”

She got him to talk for a while longer about people he had known and cared for in his youth, and she was pleased to think he was feeling nostalgic and optimistic rather than apprehensive.

“Darling, I’m sorry to talk your ear off, so,” he said at length. “I didn’t mean to keep you up so late.”

“I don’t mind at all, Sylv. You’re feeling better?”

“Yes, Serena. True to form, your font of wisdom has helped me immeasurably.”

“Well, I’m glad.” She smiled at him for another moment, then stood, reaching for the tea set. “I’ll clear this out and let you get some rest. Goodnight, Sylv.”

“Goodnight, Serena.”

  


* * *

  


Sylvando called a group meeting the next day.

“Hello, darlings! Today, we’re going to talk Puerto Valor.”

“About time,” said Francine, sounding a bit surly. “We’re only, what, three days out? And you still keep saying you don’t even know if you’re going to be in the show.”

“Yes. Well. The thing is, I think it may be time for me to tell you all about a teensy bit more of my personal history,” said Sylvando.

The others around the table sat up straighter or leaned forward. Maria and Mateo glanced at each other with raised eyebrows.

“The thing is, I grew up in Puerto Valor. Aaaand...they probably still remember me. And I didn’t leave on the best of terms.” He spoke in little bursts of words, radiating his nervousness.

“What, did you rob a bank?” asked Chill.

“No, no. I...ran away from knight training and my family to join the circus.”

Another beat of silence. “And, there is a secret hatred of circuses that runs through the town?” asked Francine.

“No. At least, I hope not. I don’t think it was public knowledge why I left. I told my papi, during that last fight, but it doesn’t seem that he spread it around.”

“That’s true,” said Mateo softly. “Everyone knew you’d disappeared, but not why.”

“Everyone?” asked Chill.

Sylvando sighed. “I’m afraid my family is famous. My father is Don Rodrigo, foremost knight and protector of Puerto Valor. I don’t know if he’ll quite welcome a public revelation this week that Norberto has become The Great Sylvando, but I’ve decided to ask.”

Soft exclamations came from around the table. “What if he says no?” asked Chill.

“Then I won’t perform. Not this time.”

“But if he says yes?”

“Then I will reveal myself to others in town before we perform. It seems better than letting my identity come out during the show.”

Samir said, “In which case either we’ll have the best turnout we’ve ever seen, or the worst.

Sylvando smiled slightly. “I expect so.”

Francine was rubbing a hand over her face. “The Don’s son. Any more secrets you’re carting around, Sylvando?”

“I’m sure there must be, honey. I can’t think of them right now, but what is a caballero without a little mystery?”

  


* * *

  


That afternoon, when the group began to gather on deck, Maria approached Serena on her way out. “You could join us, if you want. We’re doing dance lessons, because assuming we don’t get run out of town, we’ll be there for the Spring Festival.”

“Spring…? Oh, I forgot, this is still south enough that the seasons are backwards from Arboria. But, I don’t know about dancing. I’ll look a bit silly next to all of you.”

“Nonsense!” Sylvando swept into the conversation, put a hand in the middle of Serena’s back, and propelled her toward the group. “Dancing is for everyone! Especially this dance.”

Serena bit her lip, wavering between embarrassed and eager. She hadn’t taken part in a festival dance since she and Veronica had returned home, and she had never learned anything besides the simple Arborian folk dances. She took her place next to the others to face Mateo and Maria.

“Oh, good,” said Samir next to her. “Maybe I’m not the only amateur today?” Serena smiled and shook her head at him, feeling a little more comfortable.

The married couple began to demonstrate the steps to the dance. Their feet moved in a curved pattern with a little kick and ending in a stomp, and Serena felt suddenly apprehensive, because she felt she couldn’t even follow the handful of steps. But when Maria turned to face away from their audience, Mateo turned to face the group and announced, “Okay, now we’re going to do it slower, and you do it along with Maria. Ready? One.” Maria moved a single step with a pause. “Two. And then three.”

With the slow pace, Serena found herself able to mimic the movements. After a number of repetitions, she thought she could remember the pattern.

“All right. Now let’s work on arms. We’re going to hold one arm up in the air like this, and the other down here.” Mateo demonstrated with a flourish. “And then we’ll switch arms, like so.”

Combining the arm movements with the footwork was just barely within Serena’s capabilities by the end of the session. 

“Good work, everyone!” called Mateo. “Okay, we still have ten days until the festival. So we’re going to stop with this first pattern for today. You might want to keep practicing a little bit later, but you should sleep on this and try to fix it in your mind. Tomorrow we’ll add a new pattern and see how to link them together.”

Serena began to worry the next day, when they learned the next pattern and she kept mixing up the two.

“Darling, you’re frowning,” said Sylvando at the end of the session.

“I don’t think I’m going to get the hang of it any time soon. Not in time for this festival.”

“Oh, honey. You’re doing fine. It just takes practice. Come on, let’s keep going for a bit. Okay?”

“I suppose,” she said, unwilling to push back in the face of Sylvando’s encouragement.

“Ready? One two three four five six.”

After a few minutes of practice, he drew to a halt and then turned to face her. “Want to try it as a partner dance? It’s exactly the same thing, but we just have to turn so we don’t step on each other.”

“Ah, all right,” she said uncertainly.

Suddenly she found herself standing less than an arm’s length away from Sylvando. “Okay, I’m going to step like this, and you do the same in the other direction.” For half an instant, she thought he was going to step forward and embrace her, but he stopped and waited for her to copy his movement. “Good, yes, then the next part, we step back, turn the other way.”

For moments at a time, she managed to keep pace with his slow counting. But she kept getting distracted by the nearness of him, the sweeping movements of his arms as though he was going to touch her waist, her hair.

The second time she stumbled to a halt, he paused. “One other thing to consider is how to recover from a mistake. I’ll tell you as someone who dances on stage: the secret is to ignore your mistake and keep moving. Even if you just stop and stomp your heels for a moment until the next set of steps starts over, or do very basic steps from foot to foot, just do something to keep the rhythm, or find it again, and then jump back in on the next round.”

“Sylv, I’ve never seen you make a mistake on stage.”

“Exactly! Serena, I make mistakes all the time. I’m just very practiced at pretending I meant to do it that way.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Really truly.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

She didn’t manage a smooth transition the next time she stumbled, but the time after that, she followed his advice and was rewarded with a “Good!”

After that, she felt like maybe she could learn enough in time to join the festival dancing after all, and she decided on the spot to put in at least as much effort as the others for it.

  


* * *

  


The night before they were due to reach Puerto Valor, Serena knocked on Sylvando’s door.

“Oh, hello, darling. Do you need anything?”

“Actually, that’s what I came to ask you. Are you feeling all right about tomorrow? Do you need to talk?”

He opened his mouth, then breathed out a sigh and closed his eyes. “Would you like to come in?”

She sat across the table from him and waited until he began.

“It seems silly to still be afraid, doesn’t it? We’ve reconciled. My papi and I. And when I went back after Calasmos, he put a hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and said, ‘Well done, Norberto.’ Which might not sound like much, but coming from my papi, it’s the highest praise. But that was for doing something knightly, you know? Don’t get me wrong. It means a lot that he’s proud of something I’ve done. But that’s not the profession I love. And he’s never commented much about the circus, or the way I dress or act these days, besides insisting that I fulfill my oaths. He just sort of grunted when I told him my plan to form a traveling circus, and made a comment about the roads being less dangerous these days.”

“Well,” Serena said when he wound down to a pause. “Somebody once told me, when I was worried about someone not taking my talents seriously, that I should march back in and tell them about all the incredible things I’d done.” She held a serious face until he started to smile, and she smiled back. “Really, Sylv, you’re a master of your craft, and I think he’ll respect that. But even if he doesn’t care for it, well...He knows what you do, right? And he hasn’t kicked you out of his house, or told you he doesn’t want you to do it. So even if he disagrees with your choice, it seems like he respects your choice to make it.”

Sylvando nodded slowly. “That’s true. I think that’s all true.” He tapped his fingers on the table. “Serena? I’d like to ask a favor. If you don’t mind, would you go with me tomorrow to see him? If I can introduce him to another one of my friends who fought Calasmos, I think it may help. Even if he tells me to take my circus and move on, then at least we’ll have something else to talk about first.” He gave her a weak smile.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll be happy to go along.”

  


* * *

  


“Norberto! You have brought a young lady home to meet your papá, at last?”

Serena managed not to trip over her own feet, just barely.

“Hello, Papi!” Sylvando waved, and the great burst of feathers he wore at his back waved gently as well. “This is Serena, a dear friend and one of the companions who fought with me at the Luminary’s side. She is a master battlefront healer and has saved all of our lives countless times, including my own. I don’t think we could have saved the world without her. I thought you might like to meet her.”

Don Rodrigo met her eyes and gave her a grave nod. “Then I must express my gratitude. It is a good, good thing you have done for the world, as well as for myself. Thank you very much for ensuring that my son came back alive and well.”

“Ah, you’re welcome,” Serena managed, feeling startled by this outpouring after the way Sylvando had talked about his father. “It’s an honor to meet you, sir.” She glanced over at Sylvando and found him wide-eyed.

“Oh, Papi, you say the sweetest things,” Sylvando said, suddenly radiating affection in top Sylvando form. “It’s wonderful to see you, as always.”

His father grunted. “How long will we have you for, this time?”

“Well, Papi, that depends. I have something to ask you about.” He shot a quick glance at Serena, and she gave him an encouraging smile. “How do you feel about bringing smiles to the good people of Puerto Valor?”

“Hmmh. Are you asking me if I want you to perform, here?”

“Well…” Sylvando clasped his hands together. “Yes, Papi.”

“Hmmh.” The older man crossed his arms. “As Norberto?”

“I...don’t really think it will work to keep my identity secret if I perform here. Someone is bound to recognize me, aren’t they?”

“So. Are you ready to officially come home, then? To the town? To be my son and heir, returned at last?”

Sylvando said nothing, so Serena turned her head and found him staring at his father. He swallowed. “You want me to do that, and perform, too?”

The older man scowled at the floor. “I don’t see that it matters much what I want. But...you’ll be welcome, when you’re ready,” he muttered.

“Oh, Papi…” Sylvando pressed his fingers over his mouth for a long moment. “But, I won’t stay long. Not yet. I’m not done with the circus. I might never be done with the circus. I won’t ever be done working to make people smile.”

“Fine. Keep following your quest. But the people here would like to know that there will be someone who cares about them after I’m gone. Someone with political connections would be good. Someone who can speak to the king in Heliodor, and representatives of other towns, and remind them that Puerto Valor is a good town to deal with fairly, and a bad town to exploit.”

“Oh.” Sylvando hesitated, then gave an embarrassed smile. “I guess that’s a lesson you were waiting to teach me about when I was older. Well, Jade is a sweetheart, and I suppose most town leaders will recognize me. If not from our earlier travels, they are bound to fall in love with the Great Sylvando.”

Don Rodrigo nodded. “Fine. So, what’s your plan for here and now?”

“Well, I thought...in fact, Serena suggested...that I should go around town and meet with folks individually. If I know how this town works, gossip will do the rest of the job of revealing Norberto’s return. So it will be out in the open before we do a show.”

The Don’s eyes settled on Serena again, and she had an odd sense of being reappraised, like a ring turned around to reveal a gemstone. “Not a bad idea.” He looked back at his son. “But I’m not sure how I feel about the family name being used to sell tickets.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that. Ah...I think I can probably cover one more free performance from my own pocket, but we do need to start charging at some point, so we can keep the circus going. If it’s all right for us to stay more than a day.”

“No. I will pay for the first night. As a gift to the town. You can do what you want after that.”

“Papi...Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I just said I’d do it, didn’t I?”

“Of course. I didn’t mean to question your word. Thank you, Papi. Thank you so much.”

  


* * *

  


Sylvando escorted Serena to meet Doctor Valentino, first among his personal visits, and left her there when he continued with his tour.

“Norberto! I still cannot believe it! People feared him dead. It is like a miracle. You’ve known him for a long time? What sort of man has he become?”

“Well, he’s basically the most wonderfully kind and thoughtful person I’ve ever met. He’s always encouraging others, or protecting those in need. But you should definitely go see his show. He works very hard to leave his audience smiling.”

“Ay, I certainly will. But that’s not why you are here to see me, now, is it? You wish to trade knowledge? For a friend of our Norberto, I certainly have time.”

She spent the day working with Valentino to establish areas of common knowledge and an idea of what techniques were new to him. They were frequently interrupted by other townsfolk.

“Valentino! Did you hear? Norberto has returned!”

“Valentino! Did you see Norberto? He has grown into such a handsome young man!”

“Valentino! Did Norberto speak with you? He has become even more charming!”

When sunset approached and she finally stepped back into the streets, she immediately spotted Sylvando dancing down the road.

“Serena! Great sage of wisdom and kindness!” He danced up to her, caught her by the hands and spun her in a circle. Then he flung his hands in the air. “I have found not one person who hates me!” The hands came down, clasped next to his face. “And a great many that I had nearly forgotten how I loved. You are the one I have to thank for this day, of course. Without your advice, I might never have found the courage. Thank you so much, Serena.”

“Oh, Sylv. I’m so happy for you.” She was. His happiness soaked into her and filled her up.

  


* * *

  


The first performance was attended by seemingly the entire town.

They had decided not to use the big circus tent this time. Instead, they used the raised ground of the training grounds as a stage, with a small tent to the side serving as a ready room, like they’d done in Lonalulu. People filled the surrounding space and the stairs and sat on top of stone railings. Serena positioned herself to the side near the tent, yielding the better views to others of the audience.

Samir held the stage alone, playing a lively tune on his lute while everyone gathered, and then introduced “The man who needs no introduction, your very own Don Rodrigo!”

Don Rodrigo climbed up in front of everyone, and a hush fell over the crowd before he began speaking in a carrying voice.

“My friends, for many years, I have been honored to serve as your protector, and you have let me lead you through some hard times. I have spent much time traveling as a knight, and I always knew that you would be here waiting in Puerto Valor. My home. My people.

“Today, I want to reintroduce you to another man. He too has spent time away, traveling on his own quests, both as a knight and as something more. Today, he comes before you as part of his personal quest: to ensure that the whole world will smile. But he also comes before you as my son. Today, my Norberto returns to us.”

A great cheer rose up from the crowd as Sylvando strode out onto the stage, blue tunic shimmering in the sun. He stood next to his father, waving. Turned and embraced his father, who gave him a firm clap on the back. Turned back to the crowd with another wave, and then wiped his eyes. Held up his hands for silence.

“Darlings.”

“We love you, Norberto!” came one belated yell.

“Oh, darling, I love you too. I love all of you so much. I’m so, so sorry to have stayed away for so long. I hope you will forgive a boy his passions and his fears that led him to make a knight’s oath. I swore when I left that I would not return until I could make the whole world smile. Some people say I have surely fulfilled that oath, during my travels under the identity of The Great Sylvando. But I have come to realize that it is a quest that I will never consider finished, for as long as I live. And today I want nothing more than to bring a smile to all of your beautiful faces. As you know, this is to be a circus performance. I hope you will grant me leave to show you a few things of joy and beauty that I have learned during my travels, together with my very talented companions.”

He bowed to another enthusiastic cheer from the crowd. He put a hand on his father’s shoulder for a moment, and Serena was in position to see the Don’s gruff nod before the older man climbed down from the stage.

Then Samir was playing a tune on his brassy horn, and Grey and Francine somersaulted out to join Sylvando in an opening act of acrobatics.

For the first time since she’d begun attending the circus, Serena spent about half of the performance watching the audience instead of the performers. Many people had tears on their faces, but almost everyone was smiling. She caught sight of the Don, who was watching impassively, and she felt a little pulse of anxiousness. Was he not happy? But she caught him nodding, very slightly, when Sylvando performed some feat of obvious strength or skill: launching Grey or Francine into the air, or juggling knives. Then, when Sylvando began a fan dance, she spotted his moustache twitch in what could have been a smile.

When the show ended and Sylvando went out among the audience, he was mobbed by people who all wanted to say something to him. He managed to keep moving by turning his attention from person to person, reaching to clasp someone’s hands in his, or moving to embrace someone new.

Serena drifted over to Don Rodrigo, curious to hear what he was saying to the smaller collection of visitors who were visiting him.

“Your son, back at last! He’s not what I would have pictured. Not what you would have pictured either, I reckon.”

“He is my son. That is more than enough.”

His stern tone seemed to ward away further interest for a few moments, and suddenly Serena found that she was the person standing closest to Don Rodrigo. He looked at her for a moment, gave her a nod, and then looked back out at Sylvando among the crowd.

“He reminds me of his mother when he dances,” he said, just loud enough for her to hear. She moved a little closer, intensely curious. “She would dance with such determination and such joy. Like she wanted to pull the world into the dance with her to feel what she felt from it.”

Serena smiled. “That does sound exactly like Sylvando. Ah, I mean Norberto.”

Don Rodrigo gave her another sidelong look. “I think you are a good companion for him. You encouraged him to take action.”

“Oh. I think he would have figured it out, eventually. But I’m glad. It’s been wonderful to see him so happy.”

“You care for his happiness, then?”

“Of course I do. He’s always so concerned with everyone else’s happiness. I think he would sacrifice the last drop of his own if it meant the most happiness for the most people. He deserves for someone to pay attention to his own well-being.”

She was watching the older knight so she didn’t see when Sylvando emerged from the crowd. “Papi! What did you think?”

“Hmmh. You showed skill, boy. And many people were smiling.”

Sylvando studied his father intently for a moment, then burst into a broad smile and embraced him again. “Thank you, Papi. That means so much to me.”

“Hmmh,” Don Rodrigo grunted again and conceded another clap on the back.

Then Sylvando turned to Serena. “And once again, thank you so much, Serena.” He caught her up in another embrace. Caught off-guard, she took a moment to register what was happening, and then a zing flew through her at the contact. He still smelled like flowers, even after all his exertion. “I’m so, so happy.” 

He pulled away and gave them a wave. “I’ll see you both later, my darlings!” Then he was being absorbed back into the crowd.

She realized she was smiling after him and allowing an awkward silence to build when Don Rodrigo cleared his throat. “So, shall I hope that I may soon call you ‘mija’? ‘Daughter’?”

“Hm? What? Oh, no! We’re not...I don’t think he...Why would he...It’s not like that. He, we’re just friends. He’s like that with everyone.”

“Hmmh.” He gave her an impassive look. “Fine, I’ll say nothing more. When did a parent meddling in matters of the heart ever do any good, anyway? But know that you are welcome in my home at any time, for any reason.”

“I...Thank you, sir.”

  


* * *

  


_Dear Veronica,_

_I found a ship headed to Sniflheim tomorrow, so I’m going to hand over this letter as soon as I finish it. I’m pretty sure the odds anyone else will read it are next to none. Possibly, I should tell you to burn it when you’re done. I’m going to gossip about some things I haven’t wanted to share with anyone I know here._

_Per my prior letter, I think you will have figured out that I was referring to Sylvando and Dave. I now know, from Sylvando himself, that they have had some sort of romantic relationship. But, I guess they aren’t committed to each other. And they never talk about it, except the one time I accidentally brought it up to Sylvando. Maybe it’s an on-again, off-again kind of thing? I don’t entirely understand._

_But then there was the woman in Lonalulu who kissed Sylvando. Probably a dancer. Very pretty. He was quite kind to her, but in the end he sent her away. But from what he said, it wasn’t because he wasn’t attracted to her. He said he just didn’t want to start a short-term romance, and he was planning to leave, soon._

_So you’ll see why I’m rather puzzled about our friend’s take on romance. He won’t commit to Dave? But he wants to find a long-term relationship?_

_But I should talk about Puerto Valor. Sylvando was quite worried before we came here, since he hasn’t openly come back to town in years, and everyone remembers when he was Don Rodrigo’s son who disappeared years ago, and he’d never revealed his new identity. But I helped talk him into making a debut here, and it went wonderfully. I’ve never seen Sylvando so happy, and you know that’s saying something._

_His father thought that Sylvando and I had something romantic between us. It’s still silly, isn’t it? I’m still quite average, and he’s more beautiful than ever. He’s more popular than ever, here, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if he meets some beautiful woman (or man?) at the upcoming festival and makes a promise to see her every time he comes home for a visit. I hope he does. He deserves all kinds of happiness._

_Speaking of the festival, I’m learning a new dance. They have their own folk dance here, which seems to me to be much more complicated than anything we did in Arboria, but I’ve been practicing with the troupe every morning. Today we practiced dancing with different partners, with real music from a local musician. Somehow I mess up the most when I dance across from Sylvando, but I’ve gotten the hang of recovering from a misstep without stopping, thanks to his advice. I’m looking forward to the festival. Except Maria tells me I still have to find a dress somewhere, and my best bet is probably a used one, with such short notice. So I’m off to the shops later today._

_I’ve been accompanying Doctor Valentino on his patient visits, and he keeps introducing me as “A healer who accompanied Norberto on his travels,” and then they want to know all about him before we actually get around to discussing their health. It’s charming, but it takes a while. At least the research collaboration is proceeding efficiently. It turns out the book from the Library that had so many herbs I’d never heard of probably came from the Puerto Valor area in the first place, so Valentino has been able to tell me the more common names for many things, and my recipe list has grown accordingly._

_We also did surgery to remove an old piece of arrowhead from the edge of a veteran knight’s knee. We gave him a sedative, and Valentino used a scalpel, and I used some pincers, and then I followed up with a long series of very small and targeted healing spells. It was tricky to get it to work well since the body had held the arrowhead for so long, but in the end, he healed up and now he’s walking with much less of a limp._

_I’m staying with the circus camp. It’s strange, because Sylvando is staying at his father’s house. When I left Sniflheim, I didn’t really expect I’d end up feeling part of the group without him there, but they are quite welcoming about it. Even Francine hasn’t tried to charge me rent again since that first time._

_Anyway, I’d better go hand this off before the merchant ship leaves. We’re headed for Gondolia after this, and then Gallopolis, if you want to send a letter to the inn in one of those places._

_Don’t worry, I already know you’ve rolled your eyes at me at least three times when you read this. I still think you’re wrong on the relationship question. I know that’s a rare occurrence, you being wrong, but I have seen it happen._

_All my love,_

_Serena_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the real spoilers for [Hero's Voice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18653860) are. If you don't want to read that but you're still sticking around here, you'll have to put up with my headcanon Luminary with little explanation.
> 
> If you're curious, try looking up sevillanas for the type of dance I've attempted to describe.

Serena stood in the middle of the clothing shop, biting her lip. “I don’t know. It’s not that they aren’t, um, quite striking, but...These are the only two in my size?” She picked one up again, a black dress with bright green, purple and pink ruffles at the shoulders and the knees. She thought Sylvando would be able to carry off such a color combination if he tried, but it was a little overwhelming to her eye. 

She looked at the other dress, which had a low, low neckline, quite beyond any of the other dresses on display, and even the shopkeeper had introduced it with an admission that other folks would remember the previous owner and her scandalous appearance the prior year.

“I’m afraid so. There’s a lot of demand right now. But if you come back later today, we are due to get in another shipment. The tailor is not a local, so I don’t know how the quality will be, or how traditional the style.” The door chimed open and the shopkeeper brightened as he turned away. “Oh! Speak of the devil. Hello, friend, what have you brought me?”

“I ended up with six,” said a stranger’s soft voice. Serena carefully draped the black dress back over near end of the countertop before turning curiously to look at the large sack the newcomer was lifting onto the other end. “I hope...Serena! Serena, is that you?”

“Oh, who…” Her eyes found his hair, first, elegant and silky and a little bit longer than before, and then his face. “El?! El, is that you?”

He was smiling and stepping towards her, and she reached out to catch him up in an embrace. “El, what a wonderful surprise!”

“It really is! I didn’t think I’d see you so soon. Are you still traveling with Sylvando? Is he around, too?”

“Yes, that’s right.” Serena thought about pointing out that this was the loudest and nearly the longest she could ever remember the Luminary speaking aloud, before, but she was afraid to make him self-conscious, so she only continued, “You got a letter from Veronica, then? She said she’d write.”

“Yes. Last I heard you were still headed for Lonalulu.”

Serena’s eye caught on El’s clothing. There was a great deal of lace at his wrists and his neck and intricate patterns embroidered across his torso. She’d never seen him dressed up so elegantly during his quest as the Luminary. “You’re looking rather princely today, El.”

He looked down at the lace, seriously. “You think so? Not quite what I was going for. But I suppose it’s all right.”

“Oh. Sorry. What were you going for?”

“I was shooting for someone who makes beautiful clothes.”

“Oh, of course! You’ve opened your tailoring shop?”

He nodded. “That’s why I’m here. I came for supplies last week, and found out there would be a demand for...Oh! Are you looking for a festival dress, by chance?”

Serena made a face. “I’m afraid I’ve rather left it until the last minute.”

“But then I have something perfect for you! I hope. I mean, I didn’t know what sizes to make for the town, but I learned the basic pattern, and I was kind of thinking of you when I made some of these. Here. Oh. Sorry,” he said to the shopkeeper, who was watching them with a bemused expression. “Would it be all right if we borrowed your dressing screen? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to steal your business away. But she’s an old friend, and I owe her a lot.”

“Sí, yes, go ahead. It will be easier to judge your work with a model, anyway.”

The first dress was bright yellow, and the large ruffles hanging from the shoulders and below the knees revealed a brilliant orange on the underside. She felt shy, wearing it out from behind the screen, but El and the shopkeeper nodded approvingly.

“Yes, you will want an orange flower for your hair, but that suits you. I think you understood the pattern very well, chico. Almost as well as a local tailor. Would you mind trying some of the others, señorita?”

Serena obligingly modeled several other dresses, and at the shopkeeper’s encouragement, tried a few steps of dancing. Suddenly she understood how the style of dress was perfect for the dance: each time she raised an arm, the ruffles at her shoulder would flash more of the secondary color, and the kicks and stomps would set the layers below the knee to swinging with a similar effect.

El was smiling. “I wish I had time to learn the dance. Maybe I’ll make it next year. Well, do you like any of them?”

She looked back at the yellow and orange dress. “They’re all lovely, but…”

El nodded. “That’s the one I’d pick for you. So, it’s yours!”

She glanced at the shopkeeper. “It’s not too bright? I’m not sure I want to stand out too much.”

“Nonsense. It’s a festival. Everyone will be trying to stand out, so no one will stand out too much.”

Serena carefully stowed the new dress in her pack while El bargained with the shopkeeper over the remaining dresses, and then she walked outside with him.

“I shouldn’t stay away from the shop for long,” said El. “I don’t want to get a reputation for being unreliable. But maybe I could come back and meet you for a meal later? I’d love to see Sylvando, too.”

  


* * *

  


As she watched El teleport away, with the magic he alone could manage among their old companions, she thought about asking for his help in arranging a visit with Veronica. But for the first time she could recall outside of old, short-lived adolescent arguments, she felt like maybe she wanted not to see her sister at all.

Veronica would see the dress, and look at her face, and read her like a book. She’d know immediately exactly how much time Serena had spent thinking about dancing with Sylvando, hugging Sylvando, and imagining somehow impressing Sylvando with her small attempts at beauty. How important Sylvando’s happiness had become to her. How many times she’d played over the conversation with Don Rodrigo in her mind. How much she loved the circus, and how much of that was because Sylvando was a part of the circus, and the circus was part of him.

Veronica would try to make her do something about it.

But that was more absurd than ever. Not only did he treat her the same as everyone else – that embrace was one out of a hundred in the same night! – but now he was publicly identified as a noble, part of the most famous and respected family of Puerto Valor. She could put on a fancy white dress and pretend to be his equal in front of a distant audience of Vikings for one evening, but she could hardly fool an entire town, accustomed to nobility, for the rest of her life. The locals were already talking about matches he might make with other titled families.

And she didn’t want to see his face while he searched for way to gently, kindly let her down and still leave her smiling. She absolutely didn’t want to see his face after she failed to produce that smile.

So when El returned for dinner, she put the matter from her mind, impossible romance and Veronica both.

  


* * *

  


“El! Honey, it’s so good to see you! You’re looking fabulous!” Sylvando looked the Luminary up and down, and Serena noticed as well that he’d changed into something with fewer ruffles and more embroidered flowers. “Let me hear your voice.”

“Hi, Sylvando,” said El, smiling. “It’s really good to see you.”

“Oh, it sounds lovely. Are you happy with it?”

El nodded. “It started sounding right to me a couple months ago.” He glanced at Serena and seemed to interpret her quizzical look. “Sylvando introduced me to a voice coach. I used to hate the way my voice sounded, which is why I never talked very much if I could help it.”

“Oh! I never realized...Oh, dear. I’m sorry, El.”

He shook his head. “It’s all right. I actually really do appreciate all of you filling in for me so much back then, when we had to talk to people. But it feels good to be able to do it myself, now.”

They spent some time catching up on the prior months. Serena eagerly listened to his news from Heliodor: El’s new shop, Rab’s visits to the city between heading to Angri-La to learn and to teach, Jade settling into the role of crown princess.

“Oh. Um, speaking of Jade, I have a letter I wanted to send to her, but I haven’t found a caravan going that way, yet. Would you be able to take it for me?” Serena asked, thinking of Sanctuary.

“That’s a good idea,” said Sylvando, trading a serious look with her. “You don’t want that one getting intercepted.”

“Sure,” said El. He looked curious, but Sylvando just changed the subject.

“And you’ve been meeting up with that dance group?”

“I have!” said El. “It’s just what I wanted. You know, I have you to thank for it. Growing up, I never realized quite how wonderful an experience dancing could be. It changed my life the day that you…” He hesitated for just an instant, and Serena would have missed it if his smile hadn’t flickered for a moment. “The day that you introduced me to my voice coach, and she brought up the amateur dance club.”

“I’m so glad I could help,” murmured Sylvando, and the moment passed.

“So, have you heard from Erik at all?” Serena tried fishing, casually.

“Um. Yes. He came through a bit more than a month ago. He, we, um.”

“Well, honey? How did it go?” said Sylvando, tone warm and just a little bit teasing.

“We talked. He was kind of surprised, but, um, when he finishes his trip with Mia, he’s going to come back, and, umm. I think we are going to try courting.” El finished with a small smile, and Serena envied his ability to face such a confession without blushing.

Especially after El followed up with his own question: “What about you two?” Serena felt alarm spike through her, and she carefully didn’t look at Sylvando. “Are either of you seeing anyone?” he continued, and she blinked and started breathing again.

“Sadly, The Great Sylvando is not ready to put down roots in one place. It has made romance complicated,” said Sylvando with the back of his hand on his forehead in overblown dramatic sorrow.

El smiled and turned his attention to Serena.

“Ah, I spent some time with a nice fellow in Lonalulu, but I suppose in the end it was the same for me. I wasn’t really ready to settle down there, even if I had...well. He was nice enough, I suppose, but probably not the one, as they say.”

El nodded. “I keep trying to figure out if Jade and Hendrik are going to get together, but I still can’t tell. Plus he’s kind of older. But she teases him a lot, when I go up and visit them.”

The conversation moved on without any more nearly disastrous questions, and Serena soon recovered to a delighted appreciation of El’s surprise presence and even more surprising changes to his appearance and manner.

Finally, they said farewell, El took himself away, and Serena lingered for a moment with Sylvando.

“It was so wonderful to see him, wasn’t it?” she said.

“Yes, absolutely. So good to hear him talking away at last. Although…” A tiny hint of a frown crossed Sylvando’s face, and Serena raised her eyebrows to see it. “I do feel like he is still keeping something to himself. I could still wish that that boy would feel more comfortable about sharing with his friends, sooner. Ah, well, I’m a fine one to talk about keeping secrets, no?”

  


* * *

  


The days passed, with the circus shows sold out every day. The big tent was set up around the training grounds, with folding stands used for seating. Serena felt a little bit bad about taking up a seat each day, but each night when she saw her performer friends, someone asked her opinion about the variations they’d worked into the prior show, and she couldn’t bear to disappoint them, either.

They practiced their dancing each morning, and by the time they took the circus tent down to make room for the festival, Serena felt that she would not completely embarrass herself, as long as she kept to the slower paced songs.

On the morning of the festival, Serena found Maria shooing the men away from the circus camp. “It’s not polite for you to spy on ladies before they’re finished dressing up for the festival. So scoot! Go take Sylvando up on his offer, and finish your prep at the Don’s house.”

Once the coast was clear, she lifted a blanket to reveal a basket of large, colorful flowers. “Here we go, ladies. Get dressed and I’ll help with your hair.”

She nodded with approval at Serena’s yellow and orange dress. “The orange flower, then. Sit down.” After some minutes of work, she held out a hand mirror for Serena, who blinked at her reflection. Her hair was pulled back into some kind of tidy, elegant twist, and the flower perched on top of her head, facing forward.

She felt a little uncertain at the unfamiliar style, but she held her tongue while Maria proceeded to do the same for Francine and Chill and then herself. The small woman surveyed her handiwork. “All right, everyone shake your head a little. Let’s make sure it’s good and secure. Yes? Very good. You’re looking beautiful, ladies.”

They came to the dance grounds while the band was still setting up. Serena looked around, delighted by the scene of dozens of women of all ages dressed up in similar dresses, each with a flower atop her head. She thought her own color combination was unique, but there were so many different choices that she felt that, as the shopkeeper had promised, she didn’t stand out unduly. The men, by and large, were dressed in dark or muted colors, providing a contrast to the women.

“Are you ready for some dancing?” called one of the band members. The crowd shouted approval. Serena realized with a start that the man was holding a dulzaina not unlike the one Sylvando played. “We’ll start with a slower number so you can get warmed up! Find your places!”

Serena hesitated to follow the crowd forward, feeling torn between taking advantage of the promised easy song and having the opportunity to watch.

“Serena, will you dance with me?”

She turned, and found that Sylvando was decidedly not dressed to serve as a mere backdrop. He wore a tunic and trousers of bright red, and the sleeves of the tunic ended at the elbow with the same style of large, loose two-colored ruffles as many of the women’s dresses displayed, more red on the outside and yellow for the interior. Similarly, each pant leg displayed a similar set of double-sided ruffles below the knee, and she knew it would give off a flash of sunshine whenever he took a step.

She smiled helplessly as she looked him up and down, landing on his face. He was watching her with a solemn face, waiting for her response.

“Yes, of course, Sylv.”

He broke into a warm, confident smile and swept a hand forward, indicating that she should lead the way. She did, and they found a space on the flat area of the repurposed training grounds just as the music started.

She managed the beginning steps smoothly, but a few bars into the music, she heard someone say, “That’s Norberto! Who is he dancing with?” She glanced to the side, and found that there were people staring at them.

She lost the proper steps, and managed only to keep shifting from foot to foot in time with the music.

Then Sylvando said, just loud enough for her to hear, “Serena. Second set. Stay with me.” She caught the start of the next set of steps. “Dance with me. The dance is all that matters.”

She met his eyes, and as she watched his expression turned from concern to satisfaction, suddenly she felt like the dance was a live thing, taking over her body, pulling her into his orbit. Her feet moved of their own accord, and she felt like there was an invisible cord pulling them together as they swept past each other, almost but not quite touching, and then stretching apart again. She recognized the joy in his eyes and felt it in herself as well. This. This was why he loved to dance.

It seemed like no time at all before the dance came to an end, and though she knew it was coming, she still felt breathless at the ending pose: side by side, both their outside arms raised in the air, her other arm bent with her elbow pointed at his chest, his other arm around her waist, and his face looking down into hers, a breath away, smiling.

Then there was applause, and she looked to find a ring of people around them. She shifted in sudden embarrassment, and Sylvando pulled away. He gave her a bow. “My thanks, Serena.”

Then the crowd shifted. “Dance with me next, Norberto,” said a woman in a pink dress with white polka dots.

Serena didn’t have time to dwell on the crowd’s attention, because another man asked, “Will you dance with me, señorita?” For the next several songs, Serena found herself with a different partner each time. Feeling that the focus of the crowd had largely passed away from her, she managed to relax and recover the joy of movement.

Finally, she begged off dancing for a break after a faster song left her stumbling and laughing with her partner, who was another novice having just as much trouble.

She leaned against a wall and took some time to enjoy the spectacle from a little distance. All the dresses floated and jumped about in time with the movements of the dance. And of course, Sylvando was easy enough to spot, even in a crowd so colorful as this. He was paired with an expert dancer for this faster-paced song, another man this time, and they both bent like pennants snapping in the breeze, faces turning sharply away and then back towards each other.

“Jealous, dearie?” Serena looked to find an old woman at her side.

“Jealous? Me? Why would I...”

“He picked you, first. Now he’s abandoned you.”

“It’s not really like that, ma’am.”

“Are you sure? You’re watching him the same as every other young woman is watching him when they aren’t dancing with someone else. But he picked you first.”

“I expect he saw me hesitating. I almost didn’t join the first set.”

“So, no secret romance?” The old woman sounded a little disappointed. “I thought you might be Norberto’s special someone.”

Serena smiled. “Even he had a special someone, I can’t imagine telling him not to dance with anyone else. It would be like commanding the sun to shine on only one person.”

“Hmmm.” The old woman gave her a long look. “Well, don’t give up, mijita.” She patted Serena on the arm and moved away.

When she looked back, Francine was opposite Sylvando, black dress with red trim flaring. The professional performer had mastered the dance, to Serena’s eye, adding extra flourishes to her arm and head movements, but she danced with narrowed eyes, mouth unsmiling. Sylvando gave her back a serious face. Serena thought maybe this was a challenge between dancers, Francine determined to prove her skill to be the match of his or better.

Samir and Grey approached and interrupted her speculation. The shorter man wore a conservative black and white, but Grey had somewhat followed Sylvando’s lead: no ruffles, but his jacket and trousers featured an emerald green color.

“Serena, take Grey for a bit, will you? I can’t keep up with him,” said Samir. So she followed him back into the mix of people and gave herself over to the dance once more.

  


* * *

  


The last day in Puerto Valor passed in a flurry of activity.

She said goodbye to Doctor Valentino, feeling satisfied with the exchange of knowledge there. After translating the ingredient lists from the library tome, she’d added several dozens of new recipes to her notes and replenished her supplies, although many of the medicines were simply alternatives for ones she already knew. Still, it was good to have more flexibility, in case of a shortage of certain ingredients, or a patient’s allergy.

The troupe broke down the camp and hauled the tents back down to the beach where Dave waited with the rowboat. Then Dave stayed behind when the group returned in time for a lunch banquet at Don Rodrigo’s house.

Serena ended up seated next to Don Rodrigo and across from Sylvando, which she suspected might be by the Don’s design, but true to his word, he didn’t bring up any “matters of the heart” again. He asked instead after her work, her hometown, her opinions on the state of world and the personality of different world leaders she’d met. By the end of the conversation, she developed a stronger sense of respect for the man as a leader, himself.

Then it was time to leave. The Don escorted them to the end of town, where a small crowd gathered to watch and wave as father and son embraced one more time, and Sylvando waved an energetic and teary-eyed farewell to the place and the people he’d grown up with.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at end of chapter.

On the ship, when the group began to gather to analyze the ups and downs of their performances through the prior days, Serena caught Sylvando lagging to stare back at the coast, and she thought his smile was a little bit sad. “Shall I join you for tea, later?” she offered, thinking he might feel like talking.

He looked at her in momentary surprise, and then the corners of his eyes crinkled, banishing the sad tinge. “I’d like that.”

Serena left the group to circus business, and meanwhile, went to the small room where her bunk was. She rummaged through her pack and pulled out her harp from near the bottom of the bag, where she’d left it for months, now.

She sat down on Chill’s bunk, holding the instrument for a time, and thinking about Samir, and about dancing, and about Sylvando.

Samir was an expert musician. Ever since listening to him play the tango, she knew her own music would pale in comparison. And it would surely be even worse, now, since she hadn’t practiced in so long.

But Samir had freely participated in the dance lessons and the festival, even knowing that he would be a rank amateur compared to the others, who danced as part of their livelihood. She was glad, both for him and for herself, that they had joined in and gotten to experience the joy that was dancing, even without doing it perfectly.

And there was something about making music that was similarly joyful. Last night, after the festival, lying in bed exhausted, she’d sunk into a dream of making music, and she woke in the morning missing it fiercely.

She knew she would be rusty and probably would butcher the first song she tried to play. And there was hardly a place on the ship to do it in true privacy. But she thought of Sylvando, teaching her to keep moving after a misstep. Telling her that dancing was for everyone. Showing her how to pay attention to what she was doing and stay in the moment, in spite of an audience.

So she took a breath and began playing the first real song she’d ever learned, the one she’d played over and over as a girl. Her fingers felt a little stiff for just a moment, but she’d played this one so many times over the years that after one slow pass through the melody it came back to her easily enough. She sped it up and played it through as it was meant to be played, thinking of her sister and all the days Veronica would prompt her to play it while they were growing up. She smiled, remembering the easy friendship that had built up among the Luminary’s companions by the time she’d played this song for them, the night before their triumphant visit to the World Tree, when they’d earned the Sword of Light at last.

Feeling a little better, she got out her sheet music copied from the Royal Library and ran slowly through the old song she’d begun to learn there, the Mermaid’s Song. She hit a few wrong notes, but she pushed away thoughts of potential listeners and simply moved on, before circling back around to practice the individual problem phrases. Then she played once more from start to finish, just barely managing to stop herself from touching the wrong strings this time. Then one more time without looking at the page, as the practice up on the Snaerfelt started to come back to her.

She re-stowed her harp near the top of her pack this time, wavering between proud and shy. She squared her shoulders, and opened the door.

Samir was leaning against the wall in the hallway, arms folded over his chest. “Serena, you realize, I’m terribly cross with you.” His pleasant, melodic voice barely supported the assertion. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a musician?”

“Ah…” She folded her hands in front of her. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I only recently realized it would be better to play than to worry about what other people thought.”

Samir shook his head at her. “You’ll lose it if you don’t practice, and that would be a shame. Well? May I ask if you have other songs to share?”

“I...do have some sheet music with me.”

“I am so cross with you. Well, come on! Don’t keep me in suspense.”

She spent the rest of the afternoon with the master musician. Upon seeing his fingers twitch while he read the music, she insisted that he not hold back on her account, and he played through each of the pieces of sheet music once on his lute, not making any mistakes that Serena was able to catch.

“If you learn these on your harp, I think I might be able to improvise a harmony,” he offered.

“Really? I’ve never played together with someone else.”

“Well, I’d be delighted if you want to give it a try. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a partner for strings.”

  


* * *

  


By the time she met Sylvando for their evening tea, Serena was feeling both humbled and determined as a musician.

“I didn’t even know you’d brought your harp along,” Sylvando said. “I didn’t see your case with you.”

“After our last journey, I decided to work harder on packing light, so I just padded it with some clothing. And then, well, it’s silly, but I was feeling rather shy about it once I heard Samir play, so I kept putting off practicing.”

“What brought you to pick it up again?”

“I suppose it was the dancing. Really, you were the one who taught me that sometimes the joy of a thing is better than perfection. I mean, like how you showed me to keep moving after I made a mistake.”

“I see,” he said thoughtfully, then clapped his hands together. “What a wonderful way of looking at it! So you’re going to keep at it?”

They talked music for a few moments, and Serena waited for a brief lull before bringing up Puerto Valor. “It seemed like you made quite an impression. Everyone loved you. More than usual, I mean.”

“Oh, stop, honey. Oh, I love them too. I’m going to miss them.”

“Having second thoughts about traveling?”

He considered this for a moment, then shook his head. “No. Not really. Wonderful as they are, I don’t think it would do for me to stay put. I’d risk turning into the nobleman who keeps trying to show off in silly ways, and everyone gets tired of it but is too afraid to say so. I’d rather not become a Prince Faris, you know.” They shared a rueful smile over the memory of the manipulative young prince. “This business has a lot to do with novelty, and we either need to keep moving for that to happen, or spend a lot of time on working out very different kinds of performances to rotate in.”

“Don’t you already do that?”

“Not in the scale we’d need.” He steepled his fingers together. “I’d always thought about Heliodor for a big theater. Someday, if I can save up enough, or find the right patrons. The city has enough people, and possibly enough space. We could bring in dedicated dance troops, musicians, actors to put on plays, scholars to give lectures, and of course our kind of show as well. Shows won’t ever have to be cancelled due to rain, people will have a comfortable place to sit, and the building itself could be made beautiful.”

“Sylv, that sounds incredible.”

“Doesn’t it, darling? We’ll see. We’ll see.”

She got him talking about other performances he’d seen in the past: open-air plays and musicals on small stages, puppet shows, a one-man band with all manner of instruments attached to his body.

“Well, darling, once again, I’ve kept you up past your bedtime, haven’t I?” he said at last. “Thank you for keeping me company. It was much more enjoyable than moping about by myself, which was my next best plan for the evening.”

Serena laughed. “You’re welcome, Sylv. Anytime.” She stood and picked up the tray with the empty tea set. “Goodnight, Sylvando.”

“Goodnight, Serena.”

She turned away from his cabin with a smile, listening to the soft click of the door behind her, and savoring the sound of her name from him, murmured softly in his Puerto Valoran accent.

She stopped in the kitchen to drop off the tea set by the low light of the single lantern hanging in the hallway, and as she turned from the sink she nearly jumped out of her skin as a shadow moved away from the small table across from the door, hissing, “Ssso. You’re up late. Have a nice time in the captain’s cabin?”

“Francine?” She relaxed a little as the shape resolved itself, but frowned slightly to see her swaying a bit more than the motion of the ship could account for. “Are you all right?”

“Me? Oh, I’m fine, sugar. But how are you, sweetie?” The other woman lurched closer, knocking over something on the table that fell to the floor with a sharp sound of breaking glass. Serena caught a whiff of alcohol. “Hanging in there all right?” A flash of a saccharine smile, suddenly twisting into a sneer and a dagger-sharp glare. Serena backed up until she bumped into the wall. “Does he even use your name when he’s on top of you? Or is it ‘Da-ve, oh, Da-ve’?” She edged closer, nearly nose-to-nose now, and Serena felt frozen and bewildered. The light moved strangely over the other woman’s face. “Maybe you don’t even care. Little slut!”

“Francine.”

Serena jumped along with Francine, and she caught the other woman’s expression turning from poison to horror as they both turned to find the door open. Serena blinked, because the cold tone that cut through the gloom like a blade of ice hardly fit with the Sylvando she knew. But then, neither did that expression: eyes narrowed, corners of the mouth downturned.

His next words came in a tone that was almost conversational, if it wasn’t for the sharp edge underneath. “Members of this company do not speak to other human beings in that fashion, Francine. I believed that you knew this.”

“I’m sorry, Sylvando!” Francine’s voice came out barely above a whisper, desperate.

“And?”

“I’m sorry, Serena! I’m so sorry.” A flash of huge eyes turned her way, then found the floor.

Silence fell for a moment, while Francine wrung her hands together and Serena reminded herself to breathe.

“You will take your things with you to the cargo hold. That will serve as your bunk until we next reach port. In the meantime, you will consider thoroughly whether you belong with this company, or whether you and we shall part ways at that time.”

“Yes, Sylvando.”

He stepped into the room, holding the door open for her. “Go.”

Francine fled.

Silence fell again for a moment, and then Sylvando sighed, breaking the cold mask with a sad sort of smile for her, and he stepped inside the kitchen to let the door close.

“Sorry, honey. You should never have had to put up with somebody being all nasty and mean like that on my ship.”

“I-it’s all right. I’m pretty sure she’d been drinking. A-are you sure you weren’t too hard on her? I mean, you don’t have to punish her on my account.”

He dropped the smile at that, for a solemn gaze. “I didn’t hear everything, but I heard the last, and I could tell she meant to wound with her words. I believe you may have heard my motto before? ‘Making the whole world smile.’ It’s in the charter, for those who sign on with the company. It’s our number one guiding principle. So, then, when someone who answers to me makes a blatant effort to perform the exact opposite...Well, it’s a problem.”

“Oh.”

The crooked smile came back out again. “Not that I wouldn’t defend your honor if you wish it, darling. But I’m sorry you had to see Scary Sylv. Right before bed, too. I must get that from my mamá, though I don’t remember her well enough to say. But Papi would have boiled over and woken the ship for the noise.”

“It’s all right, Sylv. I understand. But, you know…I think she thought we were, um. Involved. Because I was in your cabin so late. And I think she really likes you. So that’s probably why she was saying things like that about...” Serena stumbled to a halt, embarrassed.

Sylvando sighed and stepped a little closer so as to lean back against the wall beside her, arms crossed again. “I know.”

“You do?”

“She approached me, once. But she couldn’t accept my, hmm, rather unconventional and unfair requirements.”

“Oh. What are those?” The question slipped out before her second thoughts caught up to it, and she felt thankful for the dimness to hide her blush.

The silence lasted for a few beats too long, and she started trying to figure out whether she could get away with pretending she hadn’t asked anything, but then, low pitched and soft:

“I keep Dave.”

She caught her breath, processing. His head shifted a tiny amount, and she thought he might be trying to look at her from the corner of his eye.

“I’m a dreadfully greedy thing, you see. I did try to give him up before, some years ago.” The low words came faster, as if a dam had broken suddenly. “I fell for a woman, and she said, ‘Him or me,’ and I tried to choose her. I lasted not quite a month, and then, well. I couldn’t lie to her after, so I chose Dave after all. Later on, we tried to give each other up for other reasons, but that didn’t last more than a week. Even though we’re fine apart for months in the normal course of things. The more reasonable the reason, the less I want to follow through.”

He glanced at her, then, mouth downturned again, but this time eyes wide – anxious? Worried about what her face was showing, she blurted, “Why don’t you marry Dave?”

A sigh, and the tremulous smile, now. “As I mentioned, I am a greedy thing. I want things that Dave can’t give me, and Dave doesn’t want all the things that I want, either.”

Serena opened her mouth to inquire further, but abruptly, Sylvando turned back toward the door with a stretch and a yawn. “Goodness, darling, I didn’t mean to keep you up all night, rambling on and on about silly old Sylv. I’ll let you catch up on your beauty sleep. That’s always been my secret, after all. Goodnight, honey.” He waved his fingers back at her and put a hand on the door.

“Sylv, wait.”

He paused, mid-step.

“Thank you. For telling me all of that.”

Another moment of stillness. Then, “Sweet dreams, Serena,” and he ghosted away.

  


* * *

  


Dreams were slow in coming as she lay on her bunk, conscious of the empty space below her and the soft, distinct sound of only one other person breathing in the same room.

She thought briefly about Francine’s accusations. But the assumption that they’d been engaging in, in, unwed babymaking? Was so far from reality that she had a hard time taking any of it to heart. Even if she’d somehow established a romantic relationship with Sylvando, or any other man for that matter, she hadn’t been raised to just let things happen out of order.

As for Dave...She turned over the idea in her mind. Sharing Sylvando? Maybe it made some degree of sense. With someone who shone so brightly, a person could probably thrive on less than his complete attention. Sharing a man with another man? At least you wouldn’t have to worry about unanticipated children turning up with a strange woman.

Could it be that such an arrangement wasn’t so uncommon as all that? She didn’t have many close friends who might confide such a secret to her. Outside of Maria and Mateo, Timothy and Samir, and her older married relatives, she wasn’t even close to anyone who was a couple, and none of them spoke much about their relationships.

Or was a romantic arrangement with more than two people unheard of because it was a terrible idea through and through? Doomed to end in jealousy and hurt? Obviously the prospect didn’t suit Francine.

She felt a pang of sympathy for the other woman. If nothing else, Serena too knew what it was to want something more with Sylvando, and not to have it.

But, here was a new hint to Sylvando’s taste in women. Francine. Could have been successful in her...approach, if she had more leeway in her heart. Gorgeous, curvy, glossy tousle-haired, graceful, witty, charismatic. Able to match him in all the things he loved: acrobatics, juggling, sleight of hand, dancing. Someone to join him in the spotlight with no trace of self-consciousness. Willing to travel the world as part of the circus. No wonder at all that that should be his type.

  


* * *

  


The next morning, a tired and uncomfortable Serena woke up early from a fitful sleep and made her way to the cargo hold. She knocked to no response, then stepped inside anyway. Francine lay on the floor, staring blankly up at the ceiling, and Serena felt a moment of alarm before spotting her mouth twitch.

“Francine, I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now,” she blurted, “So I’ll try to keep this quick. I just wanted to say, I don’t blame you for feeling upset, and you should know that there’s nothing, well, like that, between Sylvando and I. We’re just old friends, and that’s all we were doing in his cabin, is talking.”

Francine raised her head to give her an incredulous look.

“Er, I guess maybe you also should know, he told me about how you, um, approached him, once. And I don’t know if it helps to say this, but I think if you’d accepted his, um, requirements, you’d probably be together with him right now. I mean, it sounded like that was the only reason that he’d turn you down. Otherwise you two would make an absolutely perfect couple.”

Francine folded herself up to a sitting position, staring. “This, coming from you? That’s rich.”

Serena gave her a half-smile. “I know, the sparrow praising the peacocks, right?”

Francine squinched up one eye. “Just old friends?”

“That’s right.”

“Is that really all you want from him?”

Serena froze, then tried a small laugh. “Like that would even matter. I’m no incredibly talented, gorgeous acrobat. Anyway! That’s all I really wanted to say. I’m sorry if it didn’t help.”

Francine continued staring at her in silence, so she turned to go, but she hesitated on hearing a long, drawn-out sigh.

“I am not helping either of you. Not with this. But...Hey, Serena.” Serena turned back, to see a small hint of a real smile. “You really are something after all, you know. Might even give our standing fairy godfather a run for his Smile Lord title. Heck, I think I feel like I might possibly be able to dance again by tomorrow. So, uh, thanks, I guess. And I really am sorry for what I said last night. Even if you were doing what I thought you were doing, you wouldn’t have deserved that.”

“Oh, um. Thanks. I mean, don’t worry about it, Francine.” Serena gave her a smile and turned to go, feeling as though a weight was lifted from her shoulders.

She almost didn’t catch the soft murmur as she went through the door, “Maybe he’s the one who doesn’t deserve you, after all.”

  


* * *

  


Chill stopped Serena in the hallway. “Have you seen Francine? I’m not sure she slept in her bunk last night.”

“Umm. She’s in the cargo hold.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.” Chill did a double take at Serena’s face. “Did something happen?”

“Um.” Serena bit her lip.

“What is it?” Chill drew her into their shared room. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. I think. Sort of. Maybe? Maybe you should try talking to her. You’re pretty close, right?”

“You’re worrying me, Serena. What happened?”

“It’s complicated.”

“I’ve got time.”

“I’m not really sure I should be the one to say anything. Even though it was kind of my fault.”

“Like that’s going to make me want to ask less. Give me a clue. I prefer not to walk in on Francine in a mood without knowing where I’m stepping.”

“Er. Okay...well, she was upset about...something she thought I’d done, and she said some things because she was upset, and Sylv heard her say some of them, and he, um. Sent her to the cargo hold.”

“He sent her to...What, like, as punishment? Krystalinda’s icy nails, was Sylv actually angry at somebody?!”

“Ye-es. He was.”

“Hoo. I’ve never seen that. What on earth did she say to you? Are you okay? How bad was it?”

“I’m fine. I know she was just really upset, that’s all.”

“All right.” Chill eyed her uncertainly for a moment, then nodded. “I guess I’ll go talk to her.”

  


* * *

  


Sylvando called a group meeting after breakfast.

“All right, everyone. We need to talk. First of all, there is a chance that Francine will be parting ways with us at Gondolia.”

Exclamations broke out around the room. “What happened?” Maria landed the only distinct question.

“That is between her and myself. Unless she wishes to speak of it to you, which is her decision. I will ask that you respect her wishes if she does not. If she does so, please also discuss it with me privately after that.”

Serena met Chill’s gaze, and Chill gave her a tiny shrug.

“This means that we are going to need to plan out what the show will look like in the event that we need to do it without her. So, we have a lot of work to do in the next three days.”

“That’s going to be rough,” muttered Grey.

“I know, it’s a big change to be looking at. But I have faith in all of you.” Sylvando stood. “Grey, if you’d be willing to join me in an hour on deck, we’ll have the most work to do.”

“All right.”

Serena retreated to her room for a little while after that and rifled through her herb notes, mostly as an excuse for something to do that would keep her from facing any more questions or gossip for a while.

Chill found her there before long. “You didn’t tell me you already went to talk to her this morning.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“So, are you two really good now?”

“I think so. She didn’t seem to be mad when I left.”

“That’s your concern? You really aren’t upset at all? I wouldn’t blame you for, well, blaming her. Or wanting her gone, for that matter.”

“I’ve never really been one to keep a grudge, honestly. Not for myself. Besides, I think she was really hurting, because…well, I shouldn’t say.”

“Because she thought you and Sylv were a thing, and he turned her down when she wanted to be a thing with him. I know.”

“Mm.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s why she’s so stuck on the Dave theory. If he swings the other way, then it’s not about her.”

“Hmm.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to run you over with the gossip wagon. Anyway, I think I’m going to go talk with Sylv. It seems like she’s already made up her mind to stick around and behave herself, if he’ll let her.”

“I hope she does. It doesn’t feel right to think of her leaving.”

Chill gave her a bemused smile and shook her head. “Well, I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. Hey, Chill?”

“Yep.”

“Would it be all right if I sat on your bunk for a while? I don’t know if I want to go out to, er, try to dodge more gossip wagons in the wild right now, if you see what I mean. The top bunk’s a bit awkward for reading. And it doesn’t feel right to use Francine’s bunk.

“Knock yourself out.”

  


* * *

  


A little while later, a knock on the door revealed itself to be Grey.

“Hey, Serena. Mind if I come in for a minute?”

Serena stepped out of the doorway for him, and he sat down on Francine’s bunk.

“I talked to Francine. She said that she said something terrible to you last night, but she wouldn’t say what it was. I’m assuming it was pretty bad if Sylv was upset. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” Serena gave him a half smile, wondering how many times she was going to have to repeat herself. “Thanks for asking.”

“Are you ok with it if she stays?”

“I’ll feel sort of awful if she doesn’t.”

Grey tilted his head at her. “So, that’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

“All right.” He hesitated. “Look, if she does stay, and she comes after you again, don’t keep it to yourself, okay? We all agreed to the code of conduct when we signed on. People can mess up, I guess, but it’s bad for all of us if one of us is a recurring problem.”

“Ah...Okay. I won’t.”

Grey nodded. “Okay. I’m going to go talk to Sylv. See you later, Serena.”

  


* * *

  


Serena emerged from her hideout after midday. The troupe maintained a relatively quiet, somber tone, though Serena supposed it would be hard for an outsider to tell, with Samir practicing his lute on deck and Grey working with Sylvando. The thinner man stood on Sylvando’s shoulders and they passed beanbags directly up and down between each other.

Serena brought her harp up top when Samir took a break. She was afraid to actually bring the pages outside in case they blew away, so she played the Mermaid’s Song, the one she could more or less remember. It came out a little bit rough, so she played it again, with better results, and then one more time.

On her third repetition, someone started singing a wordless melody as a counterpoint to hers. She just managed to keep her fingers moving, though she had to make a point of looking down to focus on the harp. It was a clear soprano. She’d never heard any of the crew singing like this. Sure, there’d been simple, playful tunes or whistling now and then, people singing children’s songs to Lena passably in-key, or very slightly out of key in Sylvando’s case, and of course Samir would sing to entertain all of them, but this was a woman’s voice.

She finally looked up and around when the song drew to a close, and she found most of the crew gathered at the side of the ship. Most of her shipmates were clutching the rail or holding onto each other. Sylvando was applauding and then waving down at the water.

Finally realizing what manner of person had been singing with her, Serena stood and moved toward the group. Sylvando stepped out of the way to make room for her with a smile, and Serena met the eyes of a blue-haired mermaid, who seemed to perk up at the sight of her harp. The mermaid waved, then disappeared under water for a moment with a flash of her tail, also blue. The troupe gasped at the sight.

Then the mermaid leapt out of the water and caught hold of the railing of the ship, bracing herself on her arms and leaning forward to smile hugely into Serena’s face.

“I haven’t heard that song at all since three centuries past. You have helped me recall that fair melody at last,” said the mermaid. “I hope that if I ask, you will not think I am a pain, but could I ask you please to play the same song once again?”

“Er, no trouble at all.” Flattered and fascinated, Serena lifted her harp, and once again the mermaid added her song to the melody.

“You have an absolutely wonderful voice,” Serena offered afterwards. “I’m Serena, by the way. What’s your name?”

“Hello! My name is Coral. I think you two look familiar. Didn't we see both of you in Nautica last year?”

“Yes, it’s a beautiful place. Sylvando was there, too.”

“How wonderful to meet you,” Sylvando enthused. “From one performer to another, honey, you do have a fabulous singing voice, and such a stage presence, too. I don’t suppose you’d care to join our little circus and our quest to make people smile?”

Coral tilted her head at him. “And sing along with that harp one more day? I would be keen. But I cannot say yes or no til I speak with the Queen. Deciding when to show ourselves to human folk is tricky. When you say who could be a person, some of you are picky.”

“Ah, I understand. I’ve certainly heard a lot of dreadful misinformation going around Lonalulu,” said Sylvando sympathetically. “If it helps, I give you my word that we’ll do our best to keep you safe.”

Coral eyed Serena’s harp, then gave a sharp nod. “Before another week has passed, I'll come see you again. Stay safe! Smooth winds and sweetest waters carry you til then!” With that, she launched herself backwards, arching her back, and then her tail, and she disappeared beneath the waves once more.

The group stood in silence for a minute. Then Sylvando said, cheerfully, “Well, it’s always nice to have a guest star make a little cameo.”

“That was a mermaid! An actual mermaid!” Leo put voice to the group’s astonishment, and then everyone was asking questions.

The interrogation and resulting storytime lasted through dinner. Serena avoided mentioning Lorelei’s Harp or the location of Nautica, feeling uncomfortable revealing too much right after Coral had indicated a potential desire for secrecy among the merfolk, and she noticed that Sylvando did the same.

  


* * *

  


Serena stopped by Sylvando’s room again after dinner.

“At the risk of causing another scandal,” she said wryly, “I wanted to check in with you. First of all, how are you doing? With the Francine business.”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that, honey? Chill said you’d spoken with her.”

“I did. I think we’re on good terms, unless she’s changed her mind since this morning.”

Sylvando sighed, and some tension seemed to flow out of his shoulders. “That’s good.” He crossed an arm over his chest to touch his opposite elbow, and drummed the fingers of his other hand on his cheek. “I don’t know if I’m handling this correctly, to be honest. I keep thinking I was too harsh, and then I turn around and think I’m being too soft.”

Serena smiled at him. “It was a rather Sylvando sort of solution. ‘Have a time out and think about what you’ve done!’ My mother used to do that to us when we were younger.”

“Hmm. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I don’t know, Sylv. My first instinct was to try to restore peace and see everyone happy, but I do understand about the code of conduct, I think. I can certainly see where the things she said could hurt someone’s feelings. I can’t say I think you handled it poorly, if that helps.”

“Do you want to talk about anything else she said, before I got there?”

“No.” Serena replied instantly, then tried to come up with a logical excuse why not. Don’t blush. Please don’t be blushing, she thought at herself. “Um, I think she’s sorry she said it, so there’s not really any reason to bring it back up, right? She did apologize to me again this morning.”

“All right. So you’re okay if she chooses to reaffirm her commitment to the code of conduct and decides to stay?”

“Yes.”

He nodded. “All right.” After a moment of silence, he tilted his head. “You said ‘first of all’ a moment ago. What’s second?”

“Oh. Ah, Sylv,” Serena let just a touch of reproach enter her tone and put one hand on her hip. “You realize, you volunteered me to play my harp during one of your shows?”

He stared at her, and then leaned back and smacked his palm against his forehead. “I did. I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry. I should have asked. Forgive me, Serena. Maybe Samir can figure out an alternative with his lute. Unless you would be willing to do it after all? We could set up a screen for you, so you wouldn’t have to be in direct sight of the audience. But only if you want to.” He peered at her anxiously.

She tried to hold a stern expression for a moment longer, just to tease him, but his sincerity pulled a smile onto her face within a couple of heartbeats. “All right, I’ll forgive you. And I’ll think about it.”

“Oh, thank you, darling. Truly, you have the most generous heart known to mankind.”

  


* * *

  


Serena visited Francine again on the last day before Gondolia. She found the acrobat upside down, pacing around the cargo hold on her hands.

“Hey. I brought lunch.”

“Oh, thanks.” She folded her body and turned right side up in a smooth motion. “Hey, you have a minute?”

“Sure.”

Francine took the plate from her and set it aside on top of a nearby box, then turned to face Serena, hands folded behind her back.

“I wanted to say a couple more things to you. First, whatever happens with you and Sylv, it’s fine. That ship has sailed for me. I won’t bother you about it anymore.”

“Well, like I said…”

Francine rolled her eyes and talked over her. “Secondly. I’m gonna stop drinking for a while. Maybe for good. Definitely when I’m in a bad mood. Apparently I’m a mean drunk.” She sighed and muttered, “Even when I’m sober enough to remember what I said the night before.” Then shook her head. “Not that I’m making excuses, but I just...I want to be better. I don’t want people to have to avoid me because they’re afraid I’m going to come after them.”

Unsure what to say, Serena gave a small nod and waited.

“You know, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into that code of conduct. When I first signed on, I thought it was just there to be cute. ‘Look at us, we’re so charming.’ What I really wanted was to be on stage, to show off the things I could do. The only job I could find in Octagonia was to be a bunny girl. I wasn’t quite good enough at fighting for the martial arts tournament, and there wasn’t a demand for an acrobat, and I had no money to travel elsewhere. But it was so boring, just trying to do promotions. I got fired when they caught me doing cartwheels down the bridge instead of handing out flyers for that new casino. That just happened to be the day Sylv was in town, talent scouting.

“Anyway, the point I was trying to get around to is that after thinking about it for the past three days, I think I get it now. How much he believes in it. How much he’s got the rest of the crew believing in it. And the way it affects the audience, in the end. I want to buy in, too. Even if he won’t have me back on the team, I think I’d like to try living that way.”

Serena nodded again. “You know, if you tell him all that, I’m fairly certain he’ll let you back on the team.”

“You think so? He was...I didn’t ever think he could get that angry.” The corners of Francine’s mouth turned down.

“I know what you mean. But I don’t think he’s the kind of person to stay angry. Not in the face of you wanting to change.”

“Well, I hope so.”

“Me, too.”

Francine shook her head. “I still can’t believe you’re being so nice to me. I was completely awful.”

“You were feeling hurt, and it was my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t! I just made assumptions. And even if they were true, so what? I made my choice. I made my choice, and I’d make the same choice again, since he won’t make a different choice. Now it’s not my business. I might as well wish him luck on finding what he’s looking for, because it’s never going to be me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s fine.” Francine sighed. “Honestly, it’s kind of a relief for someone else to know. Chill thinks he just gave me a flat ‘no’ instead of putting it back in my hands. But even though I didn’t like what he had to say, I couldn’t betray his confidence.”

Serena hummed half a laugh. “I’m lucky Chill wasn’t paying too much attention to me when she was talking about it the other day. I hid in the room all morning, afraid someone would ask me the wrong questions.”

Francine snorted softly and gave her a small smile. “Well, welcome to the awkward secrets club. There’s a badge and a uniform, but they’re both invisible.”

“Hmm. I’ll keep an eye out for them.”

Francine raised her eyebrows at her attempt to return the banter, then gave her a nod. “Well, don’t spend all day visiting the penitent. I heard you have a mermaid to practice for.”

“I guess I do. See you later, Francine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: slut shaming


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at end of chapter.

The day they were due to reach Gondolia was hot and muggy. There was just enough of a breeze to keep them moving, but it wasn’t enough to be comfortable.

Serena found Chill sitting in a chair on the deck, and Maria behind her with a pair of scissors.

“You want to keep a souvenir? We could tie it off first or braid it up for you,” said Maria.

“Nah. I know how to make more. Just go straight for one of those cute little bob cuts.”

“You’re cutting your hair?” Serena asked, then felt a bit silly for the obvious question.

“Yeah. Some of us are from Sniflheim and can’t handle being boiled alive. The hair isn’t helping. Plus, we’re going to Gallopolis next, so it’s only going to get worse.”

“Feel like a trim?” Maria asked. “I’ve got the scissors out and all.”

“Hmm. Let me think about it. Really, you think it’ll be worse in Gallopolis?”

“Well, it is in the middle of the desert, headed towards summertime. Samir said so, too, and he should know.”

“Oh, dear.” Serena ran a hand through her hair. Even before noon, and even though she’d put on her breezy red sundress with the polka dots, her hair was beginning to stick to her neck.

She went to track down Sylvando, who answered his cabin door with a fan in one hand. “Oh, hello, darling! What’s new?”

“Hi, Sylv. I need some fashion advice. Do you think I’d look all right with short hair?”

“Hmmm. Come here. Let’s try this…” He set down the fan, flipped open a latch on one of his many cupboards, pulled out a bit of ribbon, and moved behind her. “Let me just tie it back for you and we’ll have a look, okay?”

“Oh, okay. Er, sorry, I’m kind of a mess…” She trailed off as his fingers touched her hair, deftly ran over her scalp, slid along her neck. It was like the thousand times her mother or her sister had handled her hair, and also nothing like it. It was brisk and efficient and practical and gentle and it set her skin tingling and shivers down her spine and she wished it would never stop and it was already over.

“Okay, now let’s see.” He circled around her, looking intently at her head, her face. “Oh, dear, you’re just a bit red already. You’d better start wearing a hat so you don’t burn any worse. As for your hair, I think it looks just fine if it’s in close to your head. Actually, it would suit you rather well. Come on, look in the mirror and see what you think.”

She obediently stood in front of his wardrobe with the tall mirrors and gave a tiny sigh for her blush. Then she tried to pay attention to the shape of her head without her hair fanned out to frame it, turning her head a little for different angles.

“All right. I think you’re right. It wouldn’t be bad.” She touched her neck, where strands of hair had already started to stick again. “Right. I’m going to do it.”

“How exciting! I can’t wait to see it, darling. Oh, before you go, one moment.” He opened the wardrobe on a dizzying profusion of colors, pulled down a box from a shelf, and rummaged through a collection of hats. “Aha, try this one.” He handed her a hat with a wide, floppy brim, white to match her polka dots. “Keep it, if you like it.”

“Ah...Thank you, Sylv.”

  


* * *

  


The troupe liberally complimented Chill’s and Serena’s new haircuts as they began to gather for a final group meeting on deck before approaching the town. Sylvando’s “I knew it was going to be fabulous!” was, naturally, the one that stuck out in Serena’s mind. Between that reassurance and the breeze now managing to cool her neck, she was well pleased with her choice.

Sylvando disappeared from the gathering and then reappeared with Francine.

“I have good news, everyone. Francine will be staying with us.”

Soft exclamations of relief filled the air.

“Sorry for worrying y’all. I promise I’ll work twice as hard to catch up. And to, y’know, make the world smile!” Francine struck a cute pose and winked.

Serena listened in to the circus plans: using the ship as home base, since there wasn’t a decent space to pitch the small tents; combining the canvas from the big tent with the existing fixed pillars around the stage area at the north of town to create a space for the circus; how to fit a bit of Sylvando and Grey’s new duo act into the previously established patterns with Francine.

Then they docked, and Serena went hunting for colleagues.

  


* * *

  


The doctors in town were a married couple, Gregorio and Gabriella. They enthusiastically spent hours interrogating Serena about her knowledge and experience.

When at last she tried to say her farewells for the day, thinking she'd taken up enough of their time unannounced, the couple looked at each other.

“I think she would do,” said Gabriella.

“Yes, let’s ask,” said Gregorio.

“Serena, we have a proposition for you. We’ve been waiting a long time for someone like you to come through town.”

“We would really, really…”

“Really!”

“Appreciate it if you would be willing to fill in for us, while we take a vacation.”

“We haven’t left this town together in, what, fifteen years? We’ve been telling each other we’d go visit Puerto Valor every year for the past five. But we’re the only doctors in town, and we’ve never gone more than a couple of days without some manner of health issue coming up.”

“Plus, there’s the old widow who needs looking in on twice a week this year.”

“If you’re willing, we’d be grateful if you would treat our home as your own for the duration of your stay. It would be an extra favor on top of the huge favor we’re already asking, so we know no stranger will take advantage of our empty home.”

“We can introduce you to our son, who sells medicines and groceries. He can help if you need anything in town.”

“And you’re welcome to read anything on our shelves.”

“So what do you say?”

Serena gave herself one more moment to consider, and then gave a decisive nod. “Yes, I’d be happy to help. Are you sure about your home, though? You’ve only just met me.”

“You’re too much of a healer to take advantage,” said Gregorio

“Yes, that’s pretty obvious, and anyway, this way folks will still know where to look for doctoring,” added Gabriella.

“Well, all right then.”

  


* * *

  


The doctors introduced Serena to their scheduled patients. She also met their son, Paolo, a young man with an appearance so unremarkable that she felt the need to study his face a second and third time in hopes of not forgetting him. He promised to stop by each day to check up on her.

Then the doctors were heading out the door to catch passage on a ship due to leave that very afternoon. They promised to be back before the circus left town in under three weeks.

So Serena found herself responsible for an entire town. The suddenness of it alarmed her slightly, but she felt confident she could handle it. Most truly urgent matters would respond well to her magic, and most things she couldn’t handle would be able to wait for the local doctors to return and see if they could do any better.

The first day brought her an instance of food poisoning and one of dehydration, which she found well within her skill to handle. As the days passed, she found no real challenges, and she built a sense of pride that she could help this entire community.

Knowing the normal office hours only went as far as late afternoon, she crafted a note to put in the window when she stepped out: “For emergencies, inquire for doctor with the circus.”

She offered a standing invitation to the troupe for small groups to join her for dinner, though the dining room was too small for more than four people to fit comfortably, so she had a rotating set of visitors for a meal before their evening shows. Sylvando turned up about half the time, to her pleasure.

Paolo turned up at dinnertime more than once, which she appreciated less. He brought flowers, wine, and a series of awkward anecdotes about growing up with doctors for parents, like the time he persuaded each parent to give him a different sweet cough syrup and then slept for an entire day. Serena supposed he intended them to be humorous and cute, but they mostly just left her uncomfortable and a little anxious about the idea of being a mother someday herself.

  


* * *

  


Serena kept up her harp practice, and on the third day of Gondolia, she was mostly glad she had, because Coral the mermaid returned.

Sylvando came to find her before her office hours began.

“She’s only prepared to do one day, in case any nasty people get ideas about a pet mermaid. You’re still willing? I know you don’t love the idea of having a big audience looking at you, so we can do the screen, if you want. The sound will be a teensy bit better if you don’t use it, though. What do you think of going out in costume? We could make you unrecognizable.”

“Er, I guess that could be all right.”

“Really?” Sylvando lit up at that. “Come on, then, let’s see if we can dig up something you’ll like.”

He led her to his cabin on the Stallion, threw open the wardrobe and began rifling through the outfits hanging there.

“Ah...Is anything in there going to fit me?”

“There’s a gown in here somewhere that I think might be adjustable...Aha!” He reached in and managed to extract a piece with less disturbance to the surrounding wardrobe contents than Serena thought she could have managed.

It was a sea-green mass of flowing cloth, parts of it heavy with ruffled layers in slightly varying shades. “I thought this would work for our sea theme. What do you think?” he asked.

Serena tilted her head. “The fabric is pretty, but I’m not sure how to wear it.”

“Here, you can try it on over your clothes. Hold up your arms.” She obliged, and he dropped it over her head and helped her swim up to the top of it.

“Obviously we’d need to shorten the sleeves,” he said, lifting her arm to check how far the sleeve hung past her hand. “And the hem, so you can play and walk without tripping. But it was always meant to be loose. Flowing, like waves.”

Serena looked at herself in the mirror and smiled in amusement at her tent-like shape. “I look like a kid playing dress-up with grownup clothing.”

Sylvando met her eyes in the mirror and smiled back at her. “Here, let’s make a couple of quick tweaks.” He moved to the cabinets on the other side of the room and picked out a couple of bits of ribbon. He draped them over his shoulder while he lifted one of her arms and folded back the sleeve past her hand, then tied one ribbon halfway up her forearm to pin the cloth in place, so when she lowered her arm the sleeve fell down and didn’t reach her fingers. He did the same with her other arm.

Then he retrieved a long green cord from another cabinet. “This can go around your waist. Hold up your arms.” He stood in front of her and reached behind her to pass the cord around her, and she felt highly aware of his nearness, how close this was to an embrace. His fingers brushed her waist twice as he threaded the cord underneath some of the higher-reaching decorative ruffles, and once more as he tied a knot.

“Closer, no? Now what do you think?”

She checked the mirror again. “Oh. It’s just a bit like a certain style of Arborian dress, with the cord. It’s...rather nice,” she said, shy about praising something while she was wearing it. “Have you worn it before?”

“It’s been some years. I joined up with a gentleman’s acting troupe for a while, and they let me play the sea sprite. There’s actually panels I added to make it longer, so I think if I remove those, it will be pretty close to your size, without having to interrupt the frills.”

He knelt to check the hem, pressing the cloth against the top of her foot and holding up the loose end, and he made a noise of approval. “Just about right. Well? If you don’t like it, we can try something else, but I think this is the best I’ve got for an ocean scene.”

“It’s fine. Are you sure you don’t mind adjusting it, though?”

“Not at all. It’ll be good for it to see some use. I always loved it, but it’s not terribly practical for the more active kinds of performances I’ve been doing these days. Oh, there’s a wig to go with it. Hold on.” He pulled the hat box out of the wardrobe, dug to the bottom, and produced a coiled mass of green yarn. He shook it out, placed it atop her head, and ran his fingers through it to straighten the places it was bent or flattened from storage. His fingers grazed her face and shoulders during this process, sending tingles down her spine.

Once again, this was both like and unlike her female relatives handling her hair or fixing her clothing. The attention, the light touches, generated a similar pleasant sensation of relaxation, but at the same time, her heart sped up a little. She briefly imagined those same fingers stroking her face in a deliberate caress, then resolutely set aside the image, trying to appreciate only what was really happening. A little pleasant attention from a friend.

“All right? And then we can add a mask over your eyes, if you like. I don’t have a perfect one on hand, but we can make a paper one later this morning for you. For now, let’s try this butterfly one and pretend it is colored for sea foam. And we can add some color to your lips. I think I still have a bit of green that would do. Want to see what it looks like?”

She felt the blush creeping up on her when he leaned close and began painting her lips with a tiny brush. Today, he noticed, and he lifted his hand away.

“Darling, I’m sorry. Am I invading your personal space too much? I’m afraid I can get carried away with this sort of thing. If you want, you can do it yourself.”

“It’s all right,” she claimed, in the spirit of mature practicality, and definitely not angling for the thrill of the indirect contact to return. “I’d probably only get it all over my face.”

“If you’re sure.” At her nod, he resumed his work. After a few quick moments, he withdrew and nodded. “Okay, take a look-see. Do you recognize yourself?”

She didn’t. A strange creature stood in the mirror, half beautiful and half alien. She shook her head. The wig slipped a little, and she thought of seaweed moving with the waves under the Lonalulu docks.

“Whoops. We’ll want to pin that in place, later. If you like it. That’s the next question, darling. Think you could bear to go on stage as a mysterious sea sprite?”

“I…” She stared at the green of her lips moving. “I really am unrecognizable, aren’t I?”

“If I didn’t already know, it would be quite hard to tell.”

It was as good as the screen to hide her. Better.

Her eyes drifted to Sylvando’s reflection. In deference to the heat, he’d recently been wearing lightweight costumes with only a single layer, rather than his jester’s tunics, but they were still designed to draw the eye. Today, it was a shirt that started yellow at the shoulders, but faded to orange and then bright red at the bottom. The hem held a scalloped dark trim, implying the ocean under a sunset.

If she made an appearance as the sea sprite, then just for one day, she could pretend at being Sylvando’s peer when it came to fashion. And she thought she wanted the anonymous view from the stage, so at least she would have another glimpse into his world.

So she nodded. “I’ll do it.”

“Truly? Marvelous, darling! Oh, I’m so excited. Everyone will love it.”

  


* * *

  


Serena met Sylvando in time to beat the rest of the troupe into the curtained area at the back of the big circus tent. She’d never been back here before, and she looked around curiously. There were a number of small tables covered with jars, combs, handkerchiefs, bits of ribbon, and other miscellaneous items. Each one had a small mirror somewhere on it. A variety of costumes were hung up on one side of the room and more were folded and set upon stools in front of several of the tables.

Once more, he helped her into the modified robe over her lightweight shirt and short skirt, tied on her stiff paper mask painted like swirling ocean waves, and this time he took care to firmly pin the wig to her hair. She almost managed to relax and accept it as simply the professional attention it was.

It was during this process that Grey and Francine arrived, chatting, and she exchanged a little wave with them. They only spared her a moment of attention, and then they were continuing their conversation and also stripping down to their underwear.

Serena stared for a moment, noting with semi-professional interest the effects of an acrobat’s life on the musculature of their bodies. Then awareness of her impropriety caught up with her. Her face caught fire and she shut her eyes. 

Of course, she’d caught glimpses of Francine and Chill changing in their shared room, but she generally fought the entirely inappropriate urge to stare and politely turned her eyes away. Of course, she’d seen strangers partially disrobe in order to seek medical advice, but she knew it was coming in those cases and was able to put herself in a more professional state of mind, first.

“Oh, dear. I didn’t think to warn you. I’m so sorry, darling,” murmured Sylvando, and he turned her by her shoulders towards the entrance of the tent. “We’re not usually much for modesty in the ready room, I’m afraid.”

“Sorry, Serena,” called Grey.

“Um. Sorry. I was just startled.” she managed. And now she was picturing Sylvando casually changing in front of her, revealing his own acrobat’s build. Maybe closing her eyes wasn’t such a good idea.

“It should be safe to open your eyes, if you like,” prompted Sylvando.

She blinked her eyes open to find a fully clothed Sylvando studying her. “All right?”

“Y, yes.”

He nodded and resumed his work with the hair pins. She resigned herself to a new life as a tomato.

“It’s relatively common among groups of performers,” Sylvando said conversationally, politely not mentioning her blush and apparently intent on what he was doing. “It’s rare to have more than one ready room, and we often need to change quickly. I think most of us have been used to it for years.” He glanced up very briefly. “See? They’re already changed.”

He painted her lips, looked her over, and gave her an approving nod. “Fabulous, if I do say so myself.” He handed her a mirror to look at the results of his work. Her blush was as bad as she’d thought, although she supposed if it lingered into the performance, it could be passed off as more costume paint. “I’d better get changed, too.” Sylvando walked behind her.

Forewarned, she caught herself watching him in the mirror in time to tilt it away, set it firmly face-down on the table. She grabbed her harp and resolutely made an effort to focus on the song, ghosting her fingers over the strings in the pattern for the melody.

By the time the rest of the crew had arrived and changed, she had mostly recovered and had convinced herself that she hadn’t forgotten the song after all.

“We’re about ready. What do you think, Serena?” Sylvando asked, and she turned.

“That’s all new, isn’t it? It’s lovely.” They wore blue skin-tight suits, decorated with various ocean-related scenes embroidered or sewn on. Grey sported a school of small yellow fish wrapping around his torso and up over his shoulder. Francine had green ribbons imitating seaweed climbing her legs and up past her waist, and Sylvando had a similar effect, but with orange branching out to imitate the coral they’d seen in the clear waters near Lonalulu.

“The ensemble has been ready for the past week, but we thought we should save it in case Coral did turn back up. What better time to debut an ocean theme, hmm?”

Then it was a matter of waiting. The noise of the crowd built up, and Serena knew the hired doorman would be taking ticket after ticket, now. She tried to keep her breathing slow and deep to fight the hint of panic that wanted to overtake her.

Sylvando was on stage alone when Grey and Francine slipped out the back of the tent and returned with Coral. The mermaid held her arms stiff to bear her weight, with one of her hands braced against the palms of each acrobat. They brought her to rest on a stool while they waited for the cue.

“Serena, good to see you!” whispered Coral, evidently either warned of Serena’s costume or recognizing her by the harp. “I am thrilled, but nervous, too. Do you think the people here will like my song with you?”

Confronted with someone else’s stage fright, Serena repeated what Sylvando had been telling her all day, and she finally felt like it might be true. Like she needed to make it true, for the sake of her anxious co-star. “They’ll love it. Everything will be just fine.”

After that, when the acrobats lifted Coral again, this time hoisting her up in the air by extending their own arms upward, so that her tail only just brushed the ground, Serena took one last glance in a mirror to reassure herself of her disguise, and then she followed them out onto the stage.

The crowd gasped and murmured, and she felt a bit overwhelmed, but then she heard a young child shout, “A mermaid!” Serena’s lips twitched into a smile as she found the little girl’s face in the front row, open mouthed with wonder. She could have come out here without the costume, she thought. Everyone was surely too preoccupied with the real living legend to register the mere human nearby.

She found her seat, behind and to the side of Coral, two chairs draped with dark cloth to imply rocks sticking out of the water. The acrobats withdrew, and Serena realized after a moment that silence wasn’t going to fall on its own, and it was her duty to start the performance. So she lifted her harp. Held a finger over the first string. Managed to get herself to play the first note. Then there was nothing for it but to keep playing, and Coral added her voice as the crowd hushed.

There was silence for a moment after they finished, and Coral spoke in a clear, carrying tone. “Good people of Gondolia, thank you for hearing me. I hope we'll meet as friends again one day out on the sea!”

Then there was applause and cheering and Serena let herself look out into the crowd for a moment. People were smiling, laughing, staring with wide eyed wonder. Their attention was barely for her, but she’d helped. If not for her, the actual star of the show wouldn’t be here in the first place, and tonight Serena had helped her to accomplish her mission. She felt flushed again, but also proud.

Then the rest of the troupe appeared to take their final bow. Sylvando offered her a hand, and she took it without knowing if the thrill was from that or the applause. She stood next to him at the end of the line, with her harp in her other hand, and all of them formed a human/mermaid chain across the stage as they bowed in unison, raised their hands together, and bowed again.

Then Sylvando gestured for her to lead the way backstage, followed by the others. 

"My friends, that was an absolutely wonderful event!” said Coral. “Serena, I can't tell you quite how much your help has meant. I think those watching us will leave here happier tonight. Next time they see us in the sea it won't be such a fright.”

“I’m glad. It was wonderful working with you, Coral,” Serena said, meaning it.

“Yes, thank you so, so much for joining us!” said Sylvando. “Are you sure you won’t stay for the meet and greet?”

The mermaid shook her head. “No, I think one night is not enough to make it wise. A human crowd's no place for me, at least not one that size."

“All right, then. Thank you again. Look us up any time. Grey and Francine, if you’ll take our lovely guest star home?”

“On it,” they chorused, and Sylvando pulled back the tent flaps to the private back exit so they could carry Coral out.

A strangled exclamation came from outside. Serena heard Francine say, “Sorry! Mermaid express!”

“Hngh!”

“Uh...Uh, hello?” The doorman appeared, spilling tickets out of his belt pouch. He led a man who carried an obviously pregnant woman wearing a pained expression. “Sorry, can we, do you know where the doctor is?”

“The sign said to inquire with the circus!” the other man exclaimed with a panicked tone.

“I’m here,” Serena said immediately, then froze for just a moment, realizing she was still in her costume. The three new arrivals gaped at her, and the woman moaned.

She spared a small sigh, then handed her harp off to Samir next to her, pushed back her sleeves, and pulled out her best no-nonsense healer’s voice. “Come in. Tell me: what’s the reason you came here? Are you experiencing any complications, or is it simply your time? Do you feel all right to sit on a stool for a minute?”

She discovered that the woman had been in labor for most of the day, and her husband had only brought her when she’d complained of a sudden increase in pain and had started bleeding. She managed to keep her face blank and her tone calm through her concern.

“All right, I’m going to need to take a look.”

“Are you really a doctor?”

“Yes. Sorry about the costume. I wasn’t quite expecting a need for my services tonight.” She looked around the room. “Francine, could you bring in the bigger chair and some cloths? And...” She looked around. Only women, the husband and Sylvando remained in the room.

“I sent the menfolk to start the meet and greet. I can leave, too, if you’re more comfortable, darling,” Sylvando said to the woman, “But I’ve assisted with a couple of births before, so I thought I’d offer to stand by in case you need an extra pair of hands.”

“Oh...okay.”

Francine returned and Serena arranged the chair with layers of cloth for padding to make it into something approaching a proper birthing chair, and they moved the folding screen and the clothing rack to serve as a makeshift private alcove while Serena looked her patient over.

“You’re close. I think you’ll probably make it to the finish line before I have to intervene. I could cast a healing spell now, but it will more or less reset your labor, and you’ll have to go through the whole thing again.”

“Goddess!”

“So I think we should wait and see. Let me prepare a couple of things. Please tell me if you feel anything different.”

She stepped around to the other side of the room. “Is there paper? I think it’s going to be easier to make a list and send some of you for supplies rather than move her again. Francine, Chill, could you bring a couple of buckets of clean water, each? And, Sylv, can you help me out of the costume? It’s a little…” She waved an arm to illustrate the bulk of the sleeves.

“Of course.” He made quick work of her belt knot and this time she barely made note of his touch while he helped pull the robe over her head. “Ah, the hair?”

“Too slow. Later.”

“Let me cut the mask ties, then.” He took only a moment to produce a tiny pair of scissors and cut the ribbons next to her temples to free her from the mask, rather than trying to find where the other ends were tied under the wig, and she gave him a nod of thanks for the improved field of vision.

She made her list of requests and sent the remaining crew to go fetch the supplies as a last task before releasing them to work the crowd. Then she returned to the patient and engaged her in small talk to make sure she stayed responsive and at least a little distracted from her pain.

Fortunately, it was less than an hour before the baby arrived, and the mother made it through, weakened but alert.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” asked the father.

“B – Ah…” Serena took a second look at the tiny, noisy, messy new person in her arms. “That’s a nice, healthy looking baby. Well done. Let’s take care of your heroic wife. Likely one more push, dear, and then I can fix you up with my magic. Sylv, can you clean up our new friend a little bit, here?” she asked, needing her hands free and trusting in his kindness.

“Of course. What a sweet little angel you are,” he murmured to the child as he reached out.

Serena attended to the mother and half-listened to Sylvando’s soft stream of endearments to the child as he worked. He got to the pause she was anticipating after only a moment, but then resumed without commenting. She got to the point of casting the healing spell to repair the source of the mother’s worrisome bleeding and then finally stepped back to check on Sylvando.

“Well? Is it a girl or a boy?” repeated the father, sounding anxious now.

“Would you like to hold your baby?” Serena asked the mother.

“Yes.”

She took the baby from Sylvando, wrapped loosely in a soft cloth, and she smiled as she recognized the shawl he’d given her to use that night on the ship by the Vikings. She handed her charge over to the mother.

“Which is it?” the mother asked.

“Well,” said Serena, “That’s going to be up to you for now, and up to your child, later.”

“What?” The parents chorused with varying levels of alarm.

“It’s rare but not unheard of. Your baby has both boy parts and girl parts. Now, you probably realize, I’m not local, so I don’t know if you have traditions around this sort of thing. Are you familiar with the phenomenon?”

“Both?” asked the mother.

The father pressed his lips together, pale. “Can’t you fix it? Magic it away? Or surgery?”

“Er...My magic is about restoring bodies to their proper state, and this is natural. I’ve read about surgeries, but they are dangerous and not reversible, so I wouldn’t recommend that. The standard approach I’ve read about is to simply choose whether to present the child as male or female, and then allow the child to choose differently, later.”

“But it...surely it’s no kind of life to be some, some in-between thing…”

Serena bit her lip in dismay at his tone, unsure how to reassure him.

“May I say something?” Sylvando asked. The mother gave a nod, face anguished as she looked at the child in her arms, so Serena beckoned for him to come around the makeshift privacy screen.

“I was once close to someone who had a similar body type. Her mother told her later that the midwife had wanted to attempt surgery, but both her parents refused, and she said she was very grateful for that when she was older. They told close friends and family about it when she was a baby, then started treating her as a girl when she started playing with dolls. She grew up into a beautiful woman, and I believe she’s married and happy, now.”

“Happy?” murmured the mother.

The father still looked tense, but he looked down at his wife and child, and his face softened. Finally, he reached out to gently touch the baby’s face.

Serena smiled. “We’ll let you have a moment.”

She stepped away and finally let Sylvando come and pull the pins out of her hair one by one to remove the wig. He met her eyes, smiling warmly, and she smiled back, feeling a flood of emotions suddenly hit her: joy over the new life, pride for her part in it, and a great warmth towards Sylvando for his compassion and support.

““You’re very impressive when you work, Doctor Serena,” he said softly, for her ears only.

“Oh.” Now her blush came back.

“I imagine it’s good luck for a baby to be delivered by a sea sprite, no?”

“Are you telling me I should show up in costume for every birth?” She gave him a smirk that felt like Veronica.

“There’s a beautiful notion. Shall I offer my assistance with the endeavor?”

Serena held her smile for a moment, then gave him a more serious look. “Thank you for your help, Sylv. I wasn’t sure what to say, there.”

“I’m glad I was here.”

“I took over your entire ready room without asking, didn’t I? Sorry.”

“Think nothing of it, darling. It’s been too long since I’ve seen a baby born in a circus tent.” One more reassuring smile, and he took the wig away. He returned to hand over a damp cloth. “For your lips.”

She swiped at her mouth until the color stopped coming away on the cloth, and Sylvando gave her a faintly embarrassed look when he took it back. “Darling, it’s been on too long. Your lips are going to be a teensy bit green for a day or two. Not to worry! Maria won’t mind if we borrow some pink from her.”

She watched Sylvando’s lips for just a moment while he leaned close and began to paint the new color onto hers, then closed her eyes and focused on what else she needed to do here. When he finished, she picked up a small bundle and approached the couple.

“There’s a chance the magic is going to reset some of the things your body would normally be starting to do after childbirth,” she warned. “I’ll give you some herbs that may help you produce more milk—”

“Oh! You look much different, Doctor.”

“Er. Yes. Sorry. I, um, if it’s not asking too much, I’d appreciate it if you would keep the whole costume thing to yourself. I’m not certain most folks will be thrilled to know their visiting doctor is an amateur harpist moonlighting in the circus on the side,” she said with a self-deprecating smile.

“We can do that. If you’ll keep...this quiet for now, too.” The father gently rubbed the baby’s back.

“Oh, of course. I mean, you don’t have to make a deal for that. I wouldn't disregard your family's privacy. Have you thought about what you want to say, then?”

“Let’s say she’s a girl for now, if we have to choose,” said the mother. “Because I know he wanted a boy. So if it turns out the other way later, they’ll both be happy.”

“Oh…” At that, the father knelt and embraced mother and child together. “It will be all right. I am happy. I am happy.”

Serena and Sylvando both accompanied the family to their home, and each of them promised to stop by for follow up visits with the household, and then Sylvando walked Serena back to the doctors’ house.

“Darling, I’m sure it doesn’t compare to working miracles, but you also did a fine job performing, tonight. How did you like it?”

“Oh! Ah, thank you. It was nice. A bit scary. But not so bad, with everyone busy watching the real live mermaid, and Coral depending on me, and it felt good to have been part of it.”

“Would you like to perform again in the future?”

“Um.” Serena thought it over. “I don’t know. Probably not while I’m the only doctor in town, anyway. Besides, I don’t think you really need me to.”

“If you loved it, we could fit you in. Later on. The harp could go well with Chill’s kind of dancing.”

“Oh. Well. To be honest, I think I find more joy in watching you perform. All of you. The circus.”

He hesitated for a moment, then touched his fingers to his chest. “You and your compliments. All right, darling. We’ll be delighted to keep on making you smile.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: uneducated reactions to intersex bodies, and slightly difficult but not very graphic childbirth


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure I've mentioned SPOILERS.

Serena felt proud of her success as a cameo performer, but she was still more than happy to return to the routine she’d begun to establish.

On the fifth day in Gondolia, she recognized Sylvando’s knock as she was putting away her medicines for the day, and she called, “Come in!”

“Darling, guess who found us at the circus tent today!”

She turned from the stove and found El following Sylvando inside. “El! What a wonderful surprise! Please come in! Um, is something wrong?”

El was staring at her with a pinched look around his eyes and his mouth hanging open. From El, whose facial expressions had always tended to be subtle and restrained, this felt like a shout of dismay.

His voice came out unsteadily. “Serena, your hair...What happened?”

“El, honey!” Sylvando exclaimed. “If you don’t like it, just say you preferred it the other way and leave it at that.”

El ignored Sylvando. “Is everything okay? Where’s Veronica?”

“What?” Serena asked blankly.

“Where’s Veronica?” El paced a step forward and clenched his hands, and suddenly Serena felt a spike of anxiety, herself.

“Why, did you hear something? I thought she was still studying at the library? We’ve been moving around so much I haven’t gotten any letters from her, yet.”

“The Royal Library on the Snaerfelt?”

“Y-yes. El? What…”

“I, I’m going to, I need to...Wait here, okay?”

“El!” She took a step forward, recognizing the start of his teleportation spell too late to do anything about it. “What on Erdrea? What was that about? Sylv, did you hear anything? About Veronica?”

“No, honey. That was really strange. What is going on with that boy?”

Serena bit her lip. “Oh, now I’m really worried. Where do you think he’s gone?”

Sylvando shrugged. “Maybe the Library? Oh, darling, you look shaken. Why don’t you take a seat? I don’t suppose we’ll know anything right away, so I’ll just see if I can put together something worth eating.”

Serena tried to calm down, but she ended up pulling out her harp from the corner she’d stowed it after Samir returned it, and she played the ancient song from her childhood, the one that reminded her most of Veronica.

She cycled through it four times before the door flew open again, and she broke off her playing. El stood there, and –

“Veronica!”

“Serena!”

Serena nearly knocked over her chair, standing and rushing to embrace her sister. “It’s so good to see you! But what’s this about? El, you had me really worried!”

“Sorry. Sorry,” he muttered, breathing hard, as if he’d been running.

“You’re not the only one,” said Veronica. “This ninny came bursting in, gave me the most peculiar stare, and then just about squeezed the life out of me, and mumbled something about you. I thought I’d better make him take me to see you. Are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine. El, what’s going on?”

“I...nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Honey, that wasn’t nothing. Here, I think you’d better sit down,” Sylvando said and pulled out a chair for him. “Now why don’t you take a deep breath and tell us what happened.”

“No, it’s not important. I thought for a minute...but it’s nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

Serena shared a look with her sister, then looked at Sylvando. “Were you two talking about anything when you got here?”

“Just that Erik was due to come back soon, and he wanted to chat. I think he was fine, until…”

“Until he saw my hair?” Serena asked, bewildered.

“It’s fine. It looks nice,” muttered El, unconvincingly. 

“Geez, way to sell it,” said Veronica. She looked up at Serena. “It does, actually. Although...you just decided to cut it?”

“Well, yes. Shouldn’t I have?”

“Just checking. You know. Arborian tradition and all.”

“Oh! No, no funerals, thank Yggdrasil. Wait, El, is that what this is about?”

“Funerals?” asked Sylvando, taken aback.

Veronica explained, “It’s customary in Arboria to cut part of our hair during our funeral rites.”

“But, El, was that really it?” Serena asked. “I wouldn’t have thought you’d know so much about our traditions. It’s not something that I’d expect people to casually bring up in front of the Luminary.”

El stared like he could see the floor through the table, and shrugged.

Sylvando put a hand on El’s arm. “El, darling. You know we’re your friends, and we all love you. You can tell us anything. And I know you’ve still been keeping some kind of secret. Believe me, honey, I know what that looks like. Don’t you think you’ll feel better if you just put it all out in the open?”

“Not really.”

“So there is a secret!” Veronica exclaimed. “Well, you realize I’m not letting you go anywhere until you tell us what it is, after all this, right? So spill it!”

El raised his head and stared at Veronica in silence that drew out into heavy awkwardness.

“Okay, seriously. Stop looking at me like that, and just…”

“You don’t want to know. It’s...nothing good is going to come of talking about it,” said El.

“This sounds worse than I thought,” said Sylvando. “Which means you should definitely tell us. Even if it’s something awful. Especially if it’s something awful. No one should have to carry awful things all by themselves. In the end, I think we’ll all feel better knowing we can share it with you, whatever it is.”

“Please, El,” added Serena. “I’d like to know, too. Otherwise I’m going to make up something awful and worry over it for months, anyway.”

El turned his anxious expression on her, and then his shoulders slumped. He rubbed his hands over his face. Sighed. “Okay, look. I’ll tell you the gist of it. Or I’ll try.”

He fell silent again, long enough that Veronica shifted impatiently. “Well?”

“Sorry. I’m having trouble figuring out where to begin.”

“Start at the beginning, of course,” said Sylvando.

“That’s the problem. It didn’t start at the beginning. Or the beginning didn’t start at...Okay. The Timekeeper once told me, ‘To lose time is to lose much.’ No, that’s an awful start. Ugh!”

“Take your time, honey. Did you go talk to the Timekeeper without us, after we all split up?”

“No. Mostly no. Urgh. I broke Time’s Sphere. Okay? I took a huge risk, and I broke time, and I went back to an earlier time, and I changed things. That’s what happened.”

Silence filled the room for a long moment. Finally, Veronica said, “You’re talking about time travel? Going back in time?”

“Yes.”

Another pause. Serena frowned and traded a glance with Sylvando, who opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but he shut it instead and curled a hand in front of his lips.

Veronica sighed. “Fine. Time travel. After the giant flying whale and the Lantern and everything else, I suppose we shouldn’t bother exclaiming how impossible that is. Let’s all accept the premise for now. So when did you go back to, why, and for how long?”

“Arboria. Everything since the World Tree is different.”

“Okay. And what happened the first time?” Veronica prompted.

“Do you remember the black sword I had back then?”

“Oh, that hideous thing you picked up in Arboria?” asked Sylvando.

“Yes, only I didn’t get it in Arboria. I brought it back with me. The first time we went up to the World Tree together, I didn’t have it. We weren’t expecting Jasper. We couldn’t beat Jasper. He attacked as soon as the Tree lowered the barrier to the Sword of Light for me, and he defeated us, and Mordegon took the sword and made it into the Sword of Shadows.” El’s voice turned softer, solemn. “He took the power from the heart of Yggdrasil, and the leaves all fell from the Tree, and the Tree fell from the sky.”

Serena and Veronica gasped in unison at that. If he was making up a campfire horror story, he could hardly have chosen a more dreadful image to shock an Arborian, Serena thought, but his demeanor was all wrong for fiction, and she didn’t think he was the kind of person to make up an awful story for a prank, anyway.

El continued, “A lot of awful things happened all over the world. A lot of people died. Some good things happened too, and we did eventually defeat Mordegon, but...well, when I had a chance to undo that first big failure, I couldn’t pass it up.”

“I don’t see why you would,” said Serena. “What’s the downside?”

“First, the Timekeeper couldn’t give any guarantee about when I’d end up. Second, Calasmos was my fault,” said El. “Mordegon destroyed Erdwin’s Lantern, the first time, before Calasmos regained his power, but this time we stopped Mordegon before he had the chance. Calasmos was much stronger than Mordegon ever was.”

“Well, we showed that big meanie what for, so it all worked out in the end, right?” said Sylvando.

“Yeah. It did.”

“So don’t feel bad about that, darling. I certainly won’t hold it against you.”

“So what happened to all of us after the tree, in your other story?” interjected Veronica. “Were we still up with the Tree when it fell?”

El took a moment to answer. “Yes.”

“And? How did you survive?”

“...Magic.”

Veronica snorted. “What kind of magic?” she asked with exaggerated patience.

El swallowed. “I don’t know the spell. Levitation, some kind of invulnerability shield, and teleportation for everyone.”

Veronica tilted her head. “That sounds useful. Think I could learn to do it?”

“Don’t,” El said sharply. 

Veronica eyed him for a moment, then inclined her head. “Mm. That was my spell, wasn’t it?”

El didn’t answer. Veronica sighed. “I think I see. Did everyone else make it, at least?”

“...Yes.” This came out in a tiny voice.

“Veronica? What do you see?” asked Serena with a small frown.

“I know of a spell like that, or the theory of it, but it normally requires three powerful sages working together, minimum, and they’d all have to know how it worked in advance. I couldn’t have cast it by myself. Not unless I topped it off with, er, everything.”

“Everything?”

Veronica sighed again and looked at El. “I didn’t make it, right?”

“No,” he said, very softly. “No. Not that time.”

“What are you saying?” Serena asked, feeling tears welling up before she understood why. “Veronica!”

“Hey. Look. It’s okay. It didn’t happen,” Veronica said, taking her hand. “Not now. I’m here. I’m fine. Look, it’s what I would have wanted, if it came to it. But it didn’t.”

Serena stared at Veronica and gripped her hand, hard. She was dimly conscious of Sylvando murmuring something and starting a motion to reach across the table, then stopping himself from doing so. But she couldn’t pull her attention away from Veronica and the horrible idea of Veronica not being there.

El said, “I’m sorry. This is what I really didn’t want to tell you. But that’s why I freaked out about Serena’s hair. For a second I thought...But I was overreacting. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s all right,” said Veronica. “We did ask.”

“Are you all right, Serena?” asked Sylvando, softly.

“Would you all mind terribly if I asked to be alone with Veronica for a little while?” Serena said.

“Of course, honey. Come on, El, let’s go visit the market.” He stood. Paused. “Serena, and Veronica, if you...I could ask the others to carry the show without me tonight, if you wanted? But I’ll leave you two alone if you prefer.”

“It’s all right, Sylv. You shouldn’t disappoint your fans. Sorry, I’m going to miss this one,” said Serena.

“Don’t apologize, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow, unless you come looking for me.” He touched her shoulder very lightly as he passed by. Then he paused halfway to the door. “Veronica, I...” He hesitated. “I’m extremely glad you’re here.”

Serena watched her sister turn her head and give him a half smile. “Good to see you too, Sylv,” Veronica said.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll be around at some point soon, too,” offered El. “In case you need anything.”

The two men left, and the sisters sat in silence for a long moment. “Veronica,” Serena finally said, “I’m the worst sister ever. I…” She trailed off as shouting caught her ear.

“Doctor! Doctor!”

Serena closed her eyes for a moment. Took a deep breath. Pulled out her best battlefield calm, setting aside her emotions for later. Went to open the door.

“Doctor! It’s his hand! Woodworking accident.” One man was pulling another along, holding a reddened handkerchief against his hand. The injured one had his teeth clenched and eyes squinting in pain.

Serena cast a healing spell. “How does it feel now?” she asked brusquely.

“It’s...It’s better? Kind of warm?”

“That’s good. Come in, let’s clean it up and make sure,” she offered, having learned that patients generally preferred not to go home covered in blood, healed injuries or no.

It took a few minutes to accomplish this, and Serena asked for the details out of habit. “Think you’ll be able to avoid a repeat?” she asked.

“Yes, miss. Doctor.”

“All right. I believe you’re all set, then.”

Serena closed and barred the door. Shut the windows. Looked around. “Oh, dear. Sylv made sandwiches, and he didn’t even eat any.” Looked down at her sister, and teared up again.

“Oh, Serena.” Veronica stood on her chair and reached to pull her into a hug. “I can’t say I love the whole story, but it’s not so bad. I get to know I was capable of making the ultimate sacrifice when it came down to it, and I didn’t even have to make any ultimate sacrifice after all.”

“I, I, I’m wasting it. This whole second chance. I should never have left your side, Veronica. You’re my other half and we’re supposed to be together and I just up and left.”

“Hey,” said Veronica, gently scolding.

Serena pulled away and pressed her hands over her eyes. “I saw El in Puerto Valor. I could have asked him for help visiting with you. But I didn’t. I didn’t want...I didn’t want to talk to you. I’m the absolute worst!”

Veronica was silent for a moment this time. “Okay,” she finally said. “I won’t pretend it doesn’t sting a bit to hear that, but I suppose you had something in particular you didn’t want to talk about.”

“I’m sorry, Veronica.”

Veronica sighed. “Look, I haven’t eaten yet. Why don’t we try those sandwiches, and you can start with the most boring news about what you’ve been up to, and we can deal with the hard stuff later.”

“O-okay. Okay.”

  


* * *

  


They got to the hard stuff that night, lying side by side in the dark, sharing a bed like when they were children.

“All right, let’s talk about Sylv.”

“Sylv?”

“You’ve spent a lot of time talking about everyone and everything else. So if I wasn’t already sure there was something you weren’t saying there, this would prove it. Well? Are you in love with him or what?”

Serena fidgeted with the edge of her pillow. “I...Apparently, I act like it, to the point where everyone watching me thinks so. It still doesn’t matter, though. There’s more reasons than before. I’m pretty sure his type is beautiful dancers. Plus he’s a big deal in Puerto Valor. I mean, his father publicly acknowledged him again, and he’s a noble. I think he’s supposed to marry a noblewoman. And…”

“Slow down. One, didn’t you just tell me you dressed up all fancy and went dancing? So why don’t you qualify as a beautiful dancer?”

“Um.”

“Second, he ran away from home to join the circus. Do you really think he’d let some title get in the way of love?”

“I, maybe…”

“Look, setting aside his motivations for a minute. Suppose he was completely interested in you. Would you want to be with him?”

“I...yes,” she capitulated with a sigh. “Fine. Yes. Veronica, I can barely look away from him when he dances. I keep checking in on him after something big happens, and I’m so happy every time I can make him feel better about something. Or just when I see him happy about anything. And every time he touches me, just an innocent little hug or something, I feel like someone just hit me with a Zing, only there’s no bad feeling afterwards.”

“Mmhmm. Well, then…”

“But! But...He said something else. When I asked why he wasn’t with Francine. He said he wouldn’t give up Dave.”

“Wait, so he is committed to Dave after all?”

“Kind of. Like, he wants to keep Dave, but he’s also interested in finding someone else for a long term relationship. At the same time.”

Veronica fell silent, and Serena waited.

“How do you feel about that?” Veronica finally asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think I’ve ever even heard of a story like that. It just doesn’t happen, or at least, not so that people admit to it.”

“There was one history book I read once. A queen, a long time ago in a kingdom that doesn’t exist anymore. It said she had two husbands, both equals, and it was apparently considered very romantic by her subjects. There was a story about how some fellow from another kingdom came around and tried to convince her to give up both of them and take him instead, and he got laughed out of town. So, I suppose there’s a little bit of a precedent.” She paused. “But I don’t think that matters as much as how you feel about it. Would you really be okay with that?”

This time Veronica waited Serena out. “I kind of...maybe. Yes? I just…I guess I already feel like it’s wrong to tell Sylvando he mustn’t be affectionate toward other people, just in general. You know how he is. An old woman asked if I was jealous when he danced with other people after me, and the question didn’t make any sense.” She paused for a moment. “I think I would have a bigger problem if he had a lot of l-lovers,” she stumbled over the word, “But he doesn’t seem to want to just take advantage like that. It seems almost...sweet? If it’s just Dave.”

Another length of silence. “Well, I think you should keep thinking about that. And when you figure it out, you ought to either tell him how you feel, or try to put some distance between the two of you.”

“Distance?”

“Do you really want to just watch him from afar forever? If he’s not going to be everything you need, but you keep on mooning over him, I can’t see how that’s going to make you happy in the long run.”

Serena processed, mouth pulling downwards. “Leave the circus, you’re saying. Leave him.”

“Maybe. If that’s what it takes. If you don’t want to accept the Dave thing and confess all, anyway.”

“I don’t want to confess all. I really don’t think he sees me that way. He doesn’t treat me any differently from anyone else. I think it would hurt him to have to hurt me by turning me down, and I don’t want that.”

“So it’s settled. You’re never going to tell him. And you should figure out how to move on from him.”

“No!” Serena startled herself with the force of the exclamation.

“Hm. And what if he’s pining away after you, too, but he’s worried about what you think about Dave, so he’s not going to make the first move? You still think it’s better to not say anything?”

Serena opened her mouth, then shut it.

After a long moment, Veronica said, “All right, I’m done pushing. You know that whatever you decide, I love you, and I just want you to be happy.”

“Oh, Veronica. I love you too. I’m sorry about being awful. I’m really glad you’re here. I can’t imagine never seeing you again.” Now Serena was crying again.

“Hey. I’ll be around.”

“Here I just said I didn’t want to leave the circus, didn’t I? But, I don’t want to leave you again, either.”

“Well. I’m happy to stick around for a day, but I have to get back to Arboria after that, because I made a deal with Auntie to test my new preservation spell on the last of her tomatoes, and I’m pretty sure she’ll give up and put them all in the oven to dry if I don’t show, and then she’ll keep on bringing it up for the next ten years. ‘Come over for dinner, if you aren’t too busy to show up this time.’ You know how she is. Besides, I think this whole trip has been doing you a lot of good. You’re making friends, performing with an audience, doctoring away. Look at you: even though you’d just had a dreadful shock, you still handled that fellow earlier like a pro.”

“There wasn’t anything else I could have done. He needed a doctor.”

“Yeah, and you went all professional and calmed him down, too. It’s kind of nice watching you work. You’re stronger and better than you ever give yourself credit for.” Veronica paused thoughtfully, then added, “Look, why don’t I just ask El if he can bring me to find you maybe once a month? It’ll be easier than letters. You won’t have to dance around your secrets, and I won’t have to guess where to send my replies.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

  


* * *

  


Sylvando stopped by in the morning. “How are you two doing?” he asked Serena softly when she answered the door.

She took a moment to answer, noticing with a fresh eye his beauty, his kindness, and she imagined walking into his embrace. Then she shook her head in an attempt to stop her woolgathering. “We’re fine.” She gave him a smile.

He’d brought pastries as a breakfast offering, and he joined them to eat.

“So, did El say anything else to you last night? Any more exciting revelations?” asked Veronica.

“Nothing huge.”

“Something small?” 

“Oh, I don’t know if I should say.”

“Oh, come on,” said Veronica. “Haven’t we all moved past that?”

Sylvando gave her a rueful smile. “Oh, all right. He told me that I started a parade. The other me, I mean. Trying to make people smile during the dark times. Said I talked him into dressing up and dancing at the head of it, and that it changed his life. He said...” A bemused expression crossed his face. “He said I left the parade group under my papi’s protection, and Papi ended up dancing with them, feathers and all.”

“Oh, Sylv, I can’t even picture it!” Serena exclaimed.

“I can hardly imagine it myself.”

“I suppose that would have saved you a bit of worry about Puerto Valor, wouldn’t it?” said Serena.

“I’ll admit I’d have liked to see it, but I’d gladly give up quite a lot more to keep our Ronnie with us.” He gave them both a sympathetic smile.

“Aww, geez.” Veronica was blushing, to Serena’s startlement, and she had no snappy comeback.

Serena filled in for her sister. “Thank you, Sylv,” she said softly.

  


* * *

  


Per the doctors’ usual schedule, the next day was a day off, barring emergencies, and Serena was deeply glad of it. She accompanied Veronica through the town, playing tour guide and chatting about recent events along the way.

It took her two food stands, five market stalls, three gondola rides, two songs from a busker, three introductions to patients who greeted her in the street, and one scenic vista before she realized this was the first time she could remember taking the lead on deciding what they should do together for such a long stretch.

“I’m sorry, Veronica. I’ve been dragging you everywhere. Is there anything in particular you’d like to do?”

Veronica chuckled. “I was wondering how long it would be until you noticed. I can’t think when I’ve gotten to just follow you around all day. Usually I have to pay attention to what catches your eye to figure out if you’re interested in something besides the usual. But no. This is nice.”

That wasn’t the only thing that felt different with Veronica. They went through the usual gossip and observations, but Serena eventually realized she was stating her own opinion more often rather than asking Veronica what hers was. She also kept steering their discussions towards culture and politics: the regional differences in attitudes towards magic; the different legends and stories and styles of entertainment; the creation of Sanctuary in reaction to problems in Heliodor. Last year, her commentary when they traveled together tended to be mostly about experiences they’d encountered in the same day, not so much focused on the big picture.

“How are you liking life as a traveling healer, then?” asked Veronica. “Is it what you’d hoped for?”

“It’s been wonderful, really. I’ve met so many people, and I’ve learned so much, and I’ve gotten to do so much to help people, too.”

“Haven’t gotten run out of town, yet?”

Serena laughed. “No. I mean, aside from Heather’s deadline in Sniflheim. She’s still not sold on magic in her house, and I kind of see why after Chill’s reaction to Zing.”

“Think you’re going to want to stick with it for a while? I mean, do you think you’d like to keep going after you visit everywhere in the world, and start revisiting the same places over again?”

“I wouldn’t mind. I could see myself turning my notes into a text that compares regional medicines and magics, and talk about ingredient substitutions and location-based ailments, that sort of thing. I think people would find it useful. But I could also picture settling somewhere with a large population and a need for more than one doctor in the area. We’ll see.” It depends on where Sylvando’s circus goes, she thought, but didn’t say.

“It depends on what happens with the circus, doesn’t it?” said Veronica.

Serena smiled ruefully. “Anything else you’d like to pick out of my head while you’re in there, sister dear?”

“Hmm. Ordinarily I’d offer to clean out the cobwebs, but I’m not finding too many today.”

“Veronica, I think that might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me,” said Serena in mock astonishment, pressing a hand to her chest and nearly managing to keep a straight face.

“Ha!”

She shared a grin with her twin, then turned serious and said, “I really needed this, Veronica. I suppose you’re right that my traveling is doing me good, but getting to talk it over with you, it feels like, like it all might have been happening to someone else, except now that you’re here, I know it’s been me after all. Sorry, that probably doesn’t make any sense.”

Veronica tilted her head. “No, I think I get it. We were Veronica-and-Serena for so long. It sort of makes sense that the existence of Serena, and for that matter Veronica, would be hard to grasp until we go back to Serena-and-Veronica for a little while and see what’s changed on the other side.”

Serena nodded. “It’s good to know that we can each stand on our own, but it still feels right to spend time back together with you. Like coming home. And thank Yggdrasil that we can.”

Veronica looked away, as she did when she didn’t want to show emotion, but then she leaned in to bump her shoulder against Serena’s hip. “Let’s try not to go quite so long apart again.”

“Agreed.”

  


* * *

  


Serena felt better after a day spent with Veronica.

El and Sylvando appeared again for dinner, and this time, they stuck to more mundane topics. Serena savored the simple discussion about the first Snaerfelt snows, Veronica’s litany of magical research topics, the new styles of clothing El was experimenting with, El’s nervous excitement over Erik’s impending return.

After they made arrangements for El to return in the morning to give Veronica a lift to Arboria, Serena finally broke the unspoken agreement to avoid the subject. “El, listen. Thank you. Thanks for telling us, and thank you so, so much for what you’ve done.”

“Yeah. I guess I should say it, too. Thanks, El. Thanks for saving me.”

“I couldn’t have done it if you hadn’t saved me, first. So, thanks for the thing you don’t remember doing. I’m glad you didn’t have to do it anymore.”


	13. Chapter 13

Sylvando lingered after Veronica’s early morning departure the next day. “Well, darling? How are you doing?”

“It’s hard, watching her go. Harder than last time. But I’ll be alright.”

“It was good to see the two of you together. Does it help, knowing El’s going to help you to see her more often?”

“Yes, it helps a lot.”

“I can stick around for a while if it helps to have company.”

Serena smiled at his compassion, and she thought then that she wanted to spend all her life in his company if she could. Not every minute, of course, because she’d badly needed some time with just Veronica, but—

Suddenly she realized she understood how it was to love more than one person. Obviously Sylvando didn’t feel precisely the same way about Dave that she did about Veronica, not if she understood at all what was between him and Dave. But maybe there was an element of it that was the same. She loved Veronica fiercely. She would do anything for Veronica, and she felt that Veronica was irrevocably part of her. They’d been nearly joined at the hip for all their lives, and she still needed to dedicate time and space in her life for her twin. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t also love someone else.

Then she knew that she’d made her decision about Dave. And if Veronica’s wild notion could possibly be correct, if there was a chance Sylvando was waiting for her to accept Dave and make the first move…

“Are you all right, darling?” Sylvando tilted his head, and she realized she’d dropped her smile and let an awkward silence build.

“Sorry, I was...”

A knock on the door interrupted her, which was just as well, because she wasn’t sure what the end of her sentence was supposed to be. She stood up. “Sorry. Let me get that.”

“Good morning, Serena.” Paulo greeted her when she opened the door. “I thought I should stop by for dinner tonight. Okay?”

“Oh. Um. Yes, that’s fine.”

“Good. I’ll see you then. Have a nice day!”

Serena closed the door, made a face at it, then composed herself and turned to start cleaning up the breakfast dishes while she was standing up. “Sorry about that.”

“That was the doctors’ son, wasn’t it? The one from dinner the other day. Who brought wine and flowers.”

“Yes. Yes, that’s the one.”

“Well? I know things didn’t work out with Pika, but are you going to have another go with this fellow? Maybe we should leave you two alone for dinner tonight.”

“What? Oh no, no. I wish you wouldn’t. I don’t want to just turn him away since he’s the doctors’ son, and this is their home, but I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“Are you sure, honey?” Sylvando’s tone turned teasing. “Flowers and wine, too? Quite a catch. Could be the start of a beautiful romance.”

“No.” With the reminder of her last conversation with Pika, a phrase popped into her head, and she imagined using it to broach the subject of her feelings. She teetered on the edge of the impulse, and then spoke without quite entirely deciding that it was a good idea. “I think I’d better wait for my dancer.”

Sylvando took a moment to reply, which was long enough for her mouth to go dry and her heart to start racing. She busied herself with the dishes and the sink.

“Your dancer?”

“It’s something Pika said once,” she explained to the sink, feeling like she was riding a runaway horse, and still uncertain whether she was veering for a sudden full confession or just trying to explain away the slip. “When we broke things off. That he wouldn’t ever be my dancer, and I shouldn’t settle for him.”

Another moment of silence, interrupted by another knock at the door. Serena dropped a plate into the sink with a splash. “I’d better get that.” She wiped her hands and walked past Sylvando without looking at him. Determinedly pulled her healer’s calm over herself as she answered the door.

“Doctor, can you take a look at my girl?” asked a man carrying a small child. “She’s been coughing and now she’s come out with spots.”

“Of course. Come in.” She turned halfway to Sylvando and said over her shoulder, “Sorry, Sylv, it’s office hours for me.”

“Of course. I’ll...see you at dinnertime, shall I?”

“Yes. I’d appreciate that.”

She borrowed her professional smile as she met his eyes for just a moment before he left. She caught an unreadable expression on his face, which morphed into his normal cheerful smile just before she looked away.

  


* * *

  


The day was blessedly full of minor concerns that demanded Serena’s attention, from more pox and coughs to requests for exotic medicines and a consultation about a bad back, so she only had a few spare moments to dwell on the morning’s conversation, during which she did her best to convince herself to not worry about it until and unless Sylvando brought it up again himself. And to prepare herself for the possibility that he wouldn’t. In any case, he’d hardly bring it up until they had a moment alone, which was likely to be the next morning at the earliest.

Paolo arrived first for dinner, with more flowers and wine. Serena politely accepted them, invited him in, and recruited her patience.

“You’re looking unusually pretty this evening, Serena.”

“Um, thanks.” She was pretty sure she’d worn the same thing last time he’d visited. “Have a seat. I’ll put these in water, and then I just need to finish up with the sauce.”

“It’s nice to eat a woman’s cooking.”

Serena wished Sylvando would appear. With Sylvando present, she didn’t think Paulo would persist in his awkward flirtation.

Then came another knock, and she called, “Come on in!”

Sylvando stuck his head in, and then slipped inside. “Hello, darling!”

Serena gave him a smile in welcome, then did a double take. He was dressed up in his elegant doublet and trousers, and carrying…

“I thought I should be the one to bring flowers and wine today, since Paolo already...Oh, dear,” he said, turning to Paolo in dramatic dismay. “You brought the same thing again tonight? Oh, honey, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be a big copycat. Well, I hope you can find something to do with these, Serena, darling.”

“Um. That’s very kind. Thank you, Sylv,” she said, startled by the flowers and the fact that she couldn’t tell whether he was being entirely sincere in his manners towards Paolo. She looked at the vase with Paolo’s flowers. “There’s only the one vase. Maybe you can fit those in with the others?”

“Of course. I’m sure we can make it work. You don’t mind, do you, Paolo, honey?”

“Eh, no, it’s fine.”

“I brought a Puerto Valoran white,” Sylvando continued, setting his bottle on the counter. “I’m told it was a very fine year.”

“Ah. That sounds lovely.” Serena glanced at it, and at his doublet, and then looked up to catch his wink. She realized suddenly that he must be offering her a chance to discourage Paolo by presenting himself as another suitor. And surely, that would hurt the other man’s feelings less than an outright rejection. No one could feel bad about being overshadowed by Sylvando. So she added, “You do know what I like. Shall we have it with dinner?”

Paolo tried to reclaim her attention over dinner with more stories about his parents or his shop, but Sylvando kept reacting first, so she didn’t have to say much.

“Apparently after he bought out my entire supply, he had his chef use all of it in a salad for his banquet. With such a heavy dose, all two dozen guests ended up fighting for the privy within a couple of hours.”

Serena silently sighed at Paolo’s choice of dinner conversation.

“How silly! Moonwort as a vegetable? You’d think they’d have stopped after the first bite, with such a sharp flavor.” Sylvando shook his head. “Speaking of herbs, there are a lot to be found in the swamp, aren’t there? Serena, shall we plan an expedition before we move on from Gallopolis?”

“Oh, that’s a good idea, Sylv. We can take a day after the good doctors return.”

“Wonderful. I’ll look forward to it. I have to admit, I’m looking forward to you rejoining the troupe when we begin traveling again. It’s always nice to get to see more of you.”

“Ah...I am too, to be honest. Of course, I’m grateful for the opportunity here, and your parents have been more than generous in lending me their home,” she said with a nod to Paolo, before turning back to Sylvando. “But I do miss spending more time with you. All of you.” She traded a smile with him for a beat too long before dropping her gaze and taking a sip of her wine, flustered.

Paolo cleared his throat. “Say, Sylvando. It’s unusual to see you dressed up in a suit like that. It makes you seem only a little girlish,” he said in a tone of polite interest, so that it took Serena a moment first to track the abrupt change of subject and then to realize that he did not intend to be polite at all.

Sylvando reacted first. He raised his eyebrows, then put his chin in his hand and faced Paolo with a small smile and an overly warm tone. “I do apologize for disappointing you, honey. I didn’t realize how much you were looking forward to seeing me in flowers and ruffles tonight.”

“I, no…” Paolo leaned away from him a little.

“No? Then you were hoping for fashion advice! I know of a merchant who sells some lovely pastels.”

“No! I, eh, Serena! Serena, women don’t find someone like that to be attractive, right?”

Angered by his rudeness towards Sylvando, she asked sharply, “What, someone who is beautiful? Charming? Capable of tact? Why wouldn’t we?” She was aware of Sylvando turning his face towards her, but she held Paolo’s eyes until he dropped his own.

“Nevermind. Sorry.”

She glowered at him a moment longer, then dropped her eyes to her food and applied her fork with a little more force than necessary.

“Well.” Sylvando brightly launched himself into the awkward silence. “Serena, darling, the food is marvelous. Did you learn the recipe in town?”

She looked up to answer, and she forgot her irritation with Paolo in the face of Sylvando’s smile, which she thought was a little warmer than her cooking merited, and she had to make an effort to focus on the question.

They talked cooking for a little while and pointedly ignored Paolo until Sylvando finally took pity on him enough to ask a question about local farm supply chains, which he answered briefly but politely.

Shortly after dinner, Sylvando excused himself. “Well, darling, it’s been a pleasure, as always, but the stage is calling me. Shall I look for your beautiful smile in the audience tonight?”

“I, I’ll be there.” She stumbled over her words a little at the compliment.

Paolo also departed, giving her a farewell that was terse but polite. He didn't meet her eyes, but she barely noticed.

Serena closed the door, then sat down, alone, and began replaying each exchange with Sylvando in her mind.

She’d thought that he was putting on an act when he arrived that evening. Just pretending to be a suitor. But in retrospect, after her hint that morning, she wondered: could this be his response, as well? Was he offering to be her dancer? Did he really think her smile was beautiful?

She felt like she was floating with nervous energy as she went into the circus tent. Her gaze found Sylvando every time he appeared on stage, and she couldn’t have said who joined him for the evening’s final dance routine. He moved with his usual intensity, joyful and graceful. She thought he found her and watched her for several bars of music when he turned toward the side where she sat, and then he was spinning away to the other direction.

She took her time leaving the tent, taking a long moment to indulge in hope, then she drifted outside to mingle with the fans who milled around waiting to greet the performers.

Sylvando was there. She moved closer and overheard him talking with a family of five.

“Thank you so much, darlings! It’s your lovely, smiling faces that make it all worthwhile,” he said, beaming and clasping hands with each of them.

This punched through Serena’s bubble of optimism, and she felt Sylvando’s imagined regard fall away from her. Of course. Everyone’s smile was beautiful, to Sylvando. She shouldn’t expect hers to stand out for him.

The family moved on, and he turned to face her, next. “Serena! I was hoping to see you. I wanted to apologize for not running that whole dinner spectacle by you in advance, but I only thought of it at the last moment, and I thought it might be welcome. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s fine.” The further implication that the whole thing had been an act hooked into her disappointment and dragged it wider. She covered by pulling out her healer’s calm with a smile. It was proving to be a useful tool this week. “I appreciate the assistance. I don’t think Paolo will hold out for anything to happen, now.”

“That’s good. That is still what you wanted, right?”

“Yes, just so.” Suddenly feeling exhausted, she said, “Well, I have some things to take care of, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Sylv.”

“Ah. Goodnight, Serena.”

  


* * *

  


The next day, she didn’t see him at all until the show. Once again, her work kept her too busy to dwell overlong on the subject of Sylvando. On the evidence that he’d play at being her suitor, but only as a friend. On the loss of something she’d never actually had.

She was half disappointed and half relieved when her dinner guests were only Maria and Mateo and their children.

“Are you all right? You seem just a bit down,” said Maria.

“I’m fine. There’s just been a lot going on the past few days. By the way, there’s a mild pox that’s been going around the local children. Let me know right away if anyone starts coughing. My magic should be able to help a little better if we catch it early enough.”

By the end of their visit, she’d half convinced herself to feel cheered up. She had good friends. Sylvando’s lack of romantic interest didn’t change that.

She went to the show and made a point of watching the others on stage with Sylvando this time. Maria and Mateo joined the juggling display this time, she noticed, only adding a few simple throws to the center of the more complicated pattern that Grey, Francine and Sylvando were maintaining, but it was enough to make the whole thing look that much more convoluted.

She watched the audience as well. Their enjoyment still made her smile. Sylvando’s mission, being accomplished every day. She felt her heart tilt into a mix of warmth, a wistful sadness, and willful acceptance.

Then Sylvando began a solo sleight-of-hand act. This was new tonight, so she sat up to pay attention.

He brought out an unfamiliar coin purse with a flourish. First, he fished around in the tiny purse with his fingers, pulled out some small coins, shook his head in apparent frustration, and carelessly cast the coins away into the audience, eliciting some gasps and excitement near the lucky few who caught the projectiles. He tipped the purse upside down, dropping out one more coin, which met the same fate in another direction.

Then he proceeded to reach inside and appeared to pull a series of objects out of the depths of the purse, which shouldn’t have been able to hold much more than those few coins. He discarded each one on the floor in evident frustration around himself: first, a handkerchief, and five more after it; a pair of mismatched socks; a soft, floppy hat; a pair of women’s stockings; a fishing pole; a small pear; and finally, with a sudden expression of dramatic delight, a red rose. He held this last up to his nose, visibly inhaling and puffing out his chest to make it obvious, and then sighed in satisfaction, beaming up at the audience, who laughed and cheered. He made a sweeping bow, drawing the rose in front of himself, then carelessly tossed the rose aside, raised the coin purse on the palm of one hand, waved his other hand at it, and bowed again to solicit applause for the purse itself.

Serena almost missed this last bit of clowning, because the rose had evaded the nearby grasping hands and landed directly in her lap.

“Lucky!” “Ooh, so jealous!” came some whispers around her. 

Her attention was only half on the remainder of the show, as she spent most of it overanalyzing his intention. Obviously, he meant the rose to go to her. It was ridiculous to imagine by now that anything Sylvando launched into the air during a live performance would go anywhere other than exactly where he intended. The flower was fresh, and still smelled sweet, and the stem was thoroughly wrapped up and tied with a dark green ribbon, blunting the thorns. Was that from care for her hands? No, probably just to keep it from catching on its way out of whatever place he’d hidden it. Maybe both.

Still, a rose for her. Not part of a showy gesture to turn all eyes to her at once. He knew she wasn’t comfortable in the spotlight. But a thoughtful gesture, telling her that he was thinking of her, even during the performance? Lost in thought, she didn’t register the end of the show until the tent was nearly empty.

She felt like she was full of fizz, walking out of the tent, like she’d had a glass of sparkling wine warming her on its way down, and she ambled aimlessly through the crowd until she spotted Maria and Mateo, and then her gaze sharpened, seeking out Sylvando. She found him closer than she expected, and she drifted closer, smiling, in time to see a girl of about the same height as Veronica bashfully holding his attention.

“Sylvando, I hope someday someone like you gives me a magic flower.”

“A magic flower, darling? I expect someone will come along soon to give you all the flowers you deserve, but in the meantime, please take this one. A pretty flower for a pretty girl,” he said, producing another rose from nowhere and handing it to her.

Serena felt the fizz burn away in a rush, because of course a flower from Sylvando was just another thing he did for anyone and everyone. She drifted behind him, and away into the crowd.

Before completing her escape, she stumbled face to face with Francine, who glanced at her rose and away without commenting on it. “Find our fearless leader, yet? I think he was looking for you.”

“Couldn’t find him,” Serena lied. “I’m pretty tired, though, so I’ll catch you all tomorrow, ok?”

“Uh, okay.” Francine raised an eyebrow, but merely continued, “See ya.”

  


* * *

  


Sylvando stopped by and stood in her doorway with coffee and sausage-filled biscuits the next morning. “Darling, I can’t stay long right now, but I found these for sale in the market and I thought you might like some.”

“Thanks, it smells good.” She took the offering, looked at his smile, and decided she couldn’t plausibly ignore the previous night. “Um. Thank you for the rose, Sylv. It was very nice.”

He placed the back of his hand across his forehead, comically dismayed. “Oh, dear. A very nice rose for a rather better than very nice lady? I see I’ll have to do better next time.”

While she looked at him in bemusement, feeling herself helplessly tilting back into a hopeful smile, she heard, “Sylv! This fabric’s not gonna carry itself!” Serena recognized Grey’s voice in the distance.

“Ah, duty calls. Farewell for now, fair healer. I’ll be by for dinner this evening.” He swept her a bow and left.

This time she spent the morning with her emotions in a state of flux. That was flirty, even for Sylvando, wasn’t it? 

Then she ran into him again when she walked through town for her appointment to bring lunch to the old widow.

“Serena! I was about to come and see if you were in, darling. I have something for you. We were shopping for supplies for our trip through the desert, today, and I thought this might suit you.” He held out a long, thin object, and she took it curiously.

“What is it?”

“It’s a parasol. We’ll use them for shade in the desert, and it’s also treated to resist water, in case it rains on us in the swamp. Here, you can hold it at the base, and then you open it like this.” He reached to show her how it worked, and his hand lightly touched hers for a moment while he did, and her heart leapt into her throat at the zing of it.

Then the parasol was open, and she looked up at the pattern painted onto it, and she gasped. It was Yggdrasil.

The proportion was wrong, of course, and it was more stylized than realistic, but the paper was painted with an intricate pattern of leaves, and the handle and frame were stained in irregular dark spirals to suggest the twisted wood of the World Tree.

After a long moment, she tore her eyes away from the work of art to look at him. He was watching her with a small smile. “Have I managed any better than very nice?” he asked.

“Sylv...It’s gorgeous." She swallowed, feeling rather overcome by the gesture, and by the way his smile broadened at her response. "Where did you...”

"Doctor? Is that you?" The old widow had her head stuck out of her window and was clutching the frame. "Are you coming? I’m famished, and you promised the good tea!"

"Ah...Yes, signora," Serena said. She glanced back at Sylvando, who seemed to her for a moment to almost be glowing, until she realized it was a trick of the noon light: he was simply standing in the sun while her face was shaded by the parasol and the building behind him was shaded by an overhang at the roof.

She thought: the only thing more beautiful than the parasol is you. But this time the phrase didn’t launch itself out of her mouth. "I'd better…"

"Of course. I'll see you later, darling."

She prepared the tea, an herbal concoction with relaxing properties for the frail woman and simple black tea for herself, set out a light lunch, and sat with her. The widow began interrogating Serena immediately.

"Was that your young man, then?"

"Er, I...Maybe? I mean, no. But. Maybe?" She bit her lip, flustered.

"That's a very fine present from him, dear."

"I know. But...It's hard to tell with him sometimes. There was a practical reason for it too. But..." She put a hand over her mouth, finding that she kept wavering from thrilled joy to uncertainty, and her smile wanted to fluctuate along with it.

"He hasn't tried to hold your hand, yet?"

"No, no. Well. He touched my hand when he was showing me how to use the parasol."

"Mm hmm. I remember when my old man pulled that on me, when he was a young man. The old 'let me show you how' trick." She grinned and began reminiscing about her memories of courtship.

  


* * *

  


By dinnertime, Serena had nearly settled on optimism, and upon hearing a knock, she opened the door with nervous anticipation to greet Sylvando, but instead it was only Chill and Francine.

“Hey. Sylv says sorry he couldn’t make it. The mayor invited him to dinner,” said Francine.

“Oh. All right.” She stood in silent disappointment for a moment before realizing she was being a terrible hostess to her friends. “Ah, come on in!”

They nearly finished dinner before Chill spotted her parasol on a side table.

"Oh, is that your parasol from Sylv's old artist friend?” she asked. “I can't believe he got such a good deal on them. They're all amazing. What's the pattern on yours?"

"Ah...It's leaves and...It's like a tiny Yggdrasil," she managed over a slowly growing feeling of dismay.

"Cute! Mine's white with a cherry tree branch across it. Francine got an ocean themed one. I'm not sure if reminding ourselves of snow and water is going to make us feel better or worse in the heat, but at least we'll have something pretty to look at."

Serena attempted a smile and apparently passed herself off as politely interested for a few minutes, but she was barely paying attention as her guests moved on to chatting about their travel plans.

Once again, she'd almost certainly read far too much into the gift. He'd probably only come to give her one in person because he was caught up in enthusiasm over his find. Happy over encountering a friend, and a good deal, and a collection of beautiful art. Not coming to give her, personally, something special.

Finally, Francine caught her attention. "Serena? Are you alright? You seem kinda out of it today."

"Sorry. It's been a long week," she managed.

"I can imagine. Must be a lot of work taking care of a whole city."

"Ah, it certainly keeps me busy, yes."

  


* * *

  


She briefly considered not attending the show that evening, but she didn’t have any other plan besides sitting around sulking. Besides, it felt terribly impolite at this point for her to skip a night for no good reason.

She arrived late and sat in the back of the tent. Tonight’s novelty was a balancing act.

Grey came out first, alone, balancing on top of a large ball, and he appeared to be comically on the edge of falling off for several minutes: teetering on one leg, wheeling his arms, and wearing expressions of exaggerated alarm in between flashes of delight whenever he’d regain his footing for a moment. Samir’s music was playful, and the audience laughed, and Serena knew Grey must be entirely in control the whole time, but she felt like the surface appearance of the routine reflected her own emotional state for the past three days.

Then Grey appeared to suddenly get the hang of balancing, and the music shifted into something more triumphant and enthusiastic as he smiled, put his hands on his hips and moved more confidently. Francine and Sylvando joined him on stage, each riding their own ball, and they circled around each other in a kind of graceful dance. They did their juggling routine from up there, Maria and Mateo passing smaller balls up to them from the ground.

Tonight, Serena found the joy of the circus was layered together with a wistful frustration. She was almost certain she should give up on trying to eke some deeper meaning out of the parasol gift, but she wished he’d spell out his feelings clearly, so she’d know.

When she left the circus tent that night, she accidentally walked up behind Sylvando and found him approaching an older woman who wore garb that Serena recognized from Hotto only after she spoke.

"Old friend, new vista. Still you dance like the wild crane: unstoppable joy."

"Master artisan, each parasol is a gift. All my friends love them," replied Sylvando.

At that, Serena’s uncertainty settled into a bittersweet sadness, and she crept away and went home without speaking to anyone.

  


* * *

  


That night, she lay awake in bed, tossing uncomfortably in the warm night and a low mood, ruminating.

She’d never paid so much attention to everything Sylvando said and did as she had this week. She was sure her “dancer” comment was a blatant enough hint if he had been looking for it. But clearly, he wasn’t. Clearly, he assigned her no more romantic value than anyone else.

And why should he? Nothing had changed. She was still a boring, practical creature, and he was a beacon of pure joy for the whole world. There was nothing about her to win his romantic regard. She was fortunate to have his friendship.

The suit, the dinner, the “help” with Paolo were just that: a way to help her turn away a casual suitor. His appreciation of her smile meant nothing more to him than the smiles of any family of fans.

The rose, just a playful gesture to amuse a friend. He’d do the same for any little girl.

The parasol, a utilitarian gift to a friend. All his friends loved them. He was old friends with the artisan, and the woman got poetry from him, no less.

It wasn’t that she wished he’d stop being so friendly with other people, of course. The problem was that she couldn’t convince her foolish heart to accept his friendly attention to her in the innocent spirit in which it was offered.

So she made a resolution to take steps. A little distance, Veronica had said. Maybe it didn’t have to be a lot of distance.

  


* * *

  


The doctors returned early the next day, in time before the circus left town, as promised. Serena spent the afternoon with them talking over the health of the townsfolk and asking questions about the medical literature on their bookshelves.

Then she collected her things and went to find the Salty Stallion.

She found Sylvando there. “Ah, Serena! Are you free at last?”

“Yes, the doctors are home.” She felt a pulse of mingled affection and sadness at the sight of him. “I’ll stay on the ship tonight, if that’s all right.”

“Of course, darling. By the way, I do owe you an herbing expedition, don’t I? Shall we go tomorrow? I’m free after we break down the tent. Of course, you should come to tonight’s little gathering after the finale.”

“Yes, that all sounds fine.”

By the time she’d stowed her things, the crew had gathered for dinner. It was just as well, Serena thought. The last day of the circus wasn’t a good time to start awkward conversations. A walk in the wilderness would be better.

The final show was high energy and perfect as always. Serena picked Francine to watch when she was onstage. The acrobat had had her heart broken over Sylvando, and she’d picked herself up and been able to reestablish a good working relationship with him. Serena felt better about her chances of doing the same.

When the crew gathered afterwards on the deck of the ship, Serena joined them.

“Another fabulous success, darlings! Here’s to many more!” Sylvando led a toast.

Serena watched him for a minute, then deliberately looked away. She found Francine looking at her, and her face must have given something away, because Francine gave her an inviting tilt of the chin. Gratefully, she went over to join her, turning to put Sylvando out of her own line of sight.

“Can I offer you some of the finest apple juice? Leo picked it out,” said Francine, and Serena remembered the other woman’s resolution to avoid alcohol.

“Sure. I don’t think I’d better drink too much of the other right now.” She’d consumed her initial glass of wine too quickly and was already feeling just a little bit tipsy.

“Oh, are you a mean drunk, too?”

“Probably. I’ll probably try to pick a fight with Dave.”

“Oh?”

“Just to make myself look tougher by fighting the biggest guy.”

“Hmm. It would do wonders for your street cred.”

“Good point. I’ll have a backup career in thievery.”

“Thievery, is it? Well, don’t worry. I’ll be sure to come visit you in prison.”

“Thanks, Francine. You’re a good friend.”

They didn’t indulge in music that night, out of respect for the surrounding town and the late hour, but the group gathered together and took turns trying to one-up each other with jokes and humorous stories. Serena wedged herself in between Francine and Chill, with Sylvando on the other side of Chill, so that she spent most of the evening looking at Grey and Samir across the circle.

Dave joined them this time, slipping into the circle next to Sylvando. "Oi, Sylv, Coral came by this morning. Wanted to know the flow of current conversations about her. I told her the tail of how much praise she'd gotten."

"Yes, I do think she's tipped the scales of public opinion in the favor of merfolk," agreed Sylvando.

"That brave mermaid lass surfs her people whale."

"She certainly made a splash with her debut here. If she makes another appearance I think shell find the world is her oyster."

"Sylv, we're getting some stormy looks. I think we'd better clam up."

"Oh—shun us if you want,” said Sylvando, turning to the wider group. “You see—we'd be happy to talk amongst the two of us lake this all night."

“Good Goddess,” muttered Chill with a hand over her face. 

Serena felt a complicated rush of messy feelings at observing this exchange. Delight at discovering Dave’s and Sylvando’s shared love for terrible puns, and a slight embarrassment for her own delight at their terrible puns in the face of Chill’s disgust, and then her immediate reaction was threaded with an awful envy at seeing Sylvando next to Dave, at the unwelcome reminder that Dave enjoyed Sylvando’s romantic regard and she did not.

When Maria declared she was nodding off, Serena claimed the same and followed her below deck. This wasn’t the time to risk ending up alone with Sylvando, either.

  


* * *

  


That time was midmorning, as Sylvando accompanied her out of town. The swamp was overcast and humid.

As they descended a long wooden walkway and approached ground level, Serena handed over a piece of paper. “I brought some rough drawings of the herbs we’re looking for. See if you can spot these leaf patterns.”

“How exciting. I’ve never been an herbalist, before. I thought I was just here for brawn, or dare I hope, beauty.”

Serena smiled a little, prompted to appreciate the pale lavender silk of his lightweight shirt, but then she shook herself, wary of how this edged too close to flirting for her comfort at the moment.

Then Sylvando looked up at the sky. “My, it is gloomy up there today, isn’t it? Good thing I’ve brought the sun herself with me.”

Serena stopped walking. Sylvando continued another couple of paces before he realized and turned around to face her.

“Sylv, I need to ask you for something.”

“Only name it, darling, and it is yours.” He smiled at her.

“That’s just what…” Serena stopped, took in a deep breath. “Sylv, I want you to stop flirting with me.”

The smile faded slowly off his face, leaving him blank and unreadable. A spider of dread had time to crawl its way down her spine. Was asking Sylv to stop flirting like scolding a fish for swimming? She cringed at the thought of hurting his feelings with this. But explaining further would just add another layer of awkwardness.

Then a brisk smile flashed onto his face, while his eyebrows pinched together apologetically. “Of course, Serena. I’m terribly sorry I’ve made you uncomfortable. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay. I mean, it’s...Thank you, Sylv.”

He gave her a nod, and turned away. “Well, could that be moonwort over there already?” He took off down the path, and she couldn’t decide if she felt relieved, or if she just felt like crying.

Through the rest of the expedition, true to his word, Sylvando kept his commentary to a handful of observations about the landscape and businesslike questions to her. He used her name, only, to draw her attention, and she already missed being “Darling”.

But she also didn’t fall into a new misguided euphoria, or suffer the inevitable crash. So by the end of the outing, she felt reassured that this was the right choice.

They split up once they made it back to town. Sylvando took the bag with the bulk of her supplies back to the ship, while she went to sell a little of the excess in the market. Then she lingered, stocking up on miscellaneous personal supplies before going to work in the ship’s kitchen on medicines and tying some herbs to let hang dry while they were away.

When she joined the group for dinner, she began to think at first that Sylvando was ignoring her, because he didn’t sit near her, and he didn’t say anything to her. But then he caught her looking at him and gave her a smile.

“By the way, Serena. What did you call that huge flower we saw today? Face something?” he asked.

“Ah, they call it a faceweed.”

“That’s right! Because the pattern looks kind of like a face, and it’s tall enough you might mistake it for a person in the rain. Maybe we’ll see it again tomorrow when we all head out.”

Feeling better, she went on deck to watch the last sunset shining across the sea before they went inland, and then the lights of the city reflected on the water. The reflection rippled and danced in the warm breeze, and it was beautiful, and it was a joy to watch from a distance, and it would be pointless to chase it and try to touch it, and it blurred a little until she surreptitiously wiped her eyes, and maybe it was going to take longer than a day to accept the loss of a dream.

Finally, she stood to go below, then startled as Dave appeared beside her.

“Lass, do you know what’s going on with Sylv?”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“Well, he doesn’t often hole up by himself like this, particularly the night before a journey. I looked in on him earlier and he just seems...well, maybe you could have a go, see if you can’t cheer him up a mite?”

“Oh, dear. I...I’ll see what I can do,” Serena promised impulsively in the face of Dave’s concern, and then there was nothing for it but to head for Sylvando’s cabin.

She knocked, waited, and knocked again. Tried to think of something to say, failed, and settled for loudly rattling the doorknob as she turned it, knocked again with the door cracked open, took a deep breath, and poked her head into the room.

Sylv sat with his elbows propped on his table, head in his hands, shoulders slumped. “I told you, Dave, I really just want a little peace and quiet tonight,” he said in a strained tone.

“Sylv…” Slightly alarmed, she stepped a few paces towards him, letting the door click shut behind her.

“Ah!” he exclaimed, flashing wide eyes and jumping half out of his chair. “Serena! You…” He straightened abruptly in his seat and turned his face away, clearing his throat. “What brings you here this evening?”

“Sylv, are you all right?”

“Of course, d...Of course. Why do you ask?”

She drifted closer. “Because you looked really sad, a moment ago. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing for you to worry about, Serena.”

“It’s not...Is it because of what I said today? I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to make you upset.”

“Serena.” He turned and leveled a stern look at her. “Never apologize for telling someone what your boundaries are. I wish you’d told me sooner that I was bothering you.”

“Oh. You weren’t precisely...well.” Serena considered, wondering how far he was extrapolating from her request. She couldn’t remember if he’d even called anyone else “darling” at dinner, either. “Sylv, I think I should say, I don’t believe people in general are really ever bothered when you say flirty things to them. It’s like, like finding a lucky coin. Everyone walks away in a better mood afterwards. Really, I do love watching you cheer up little kids by complimenting their shoes, and telling old men how rugged and manly they look, and reassuring women that their dresses do suit them.” 

Now he was watching her with a neutral expression. Knowing she owed him more of the explanation after that, she took a deep breath and continued. “It’s just that, with you and me, we’ve spent so much time together, that...Well, it’s a bit silly, but I recently got into a mood where I kept thinking that you really meant it when you flirted with me. It’s been kind of a...peculiar week, for me. So, I suppose what I should have done in the first place is just to ask you to tell me outright that you don’t mean anything by it, and then if you feel more comfortable acting like your usual self, I’ll still keep my head on straight.” She offered a determined smile.

He stared at her with wide eyes, now. “Serena…” This came out faintly, and Sylvando cleared his throat. “Would you like it if I meant it?”

The smile fell off her face. “Don’t, Sylv.” She watched his lashes lower. “You can’t tease me about this.” His eyes flashed open again.

“I’m not teasing. I’m asking. Would you like it if I meant it?”

This felt like the beginning of every other false flirtation of the week, but she knew better than to trust in that feeling by now. Instead, she suddenly felt tears welling up, and then she snapped, abruptly furious. “Sylv! You needn’t pretend I’m some kind of, of fancy, desirable lady to make me feel better, because it doesn’t! It’s perfectly obvious you’re out of my league, and you don’t mean anything by any of it, and I don’t need your, your pity, or your stupid beautiful kindness, to come along and pick me up for a day, because it just lets me fall that much harder. I’ve already let you break my heart three times this week. That’s enough!” 

She spun on her heel and lurched in the direction she thought was the door, though she couldn’t see through her tears.

“Serena! Serena, darling, no, wait, darling, love, stop. Please.” She stumbled to a halt and blinked rapidly to clear her eyes as he caught at her hand, which he squeezed and then held lightly on top of his palm. She looked to find him kneeling at her side, eyes dark and wide, words pouring forth like water. “Serena. I’m sorry. I’m so, so so sorry. I didn’t know. If you only told me I could have your heart, I’d keep it safe forever. I’d like nothing better.”

A buzzy feeling was creeping back through the back of her head, making it hard to think. This couldn’t be real. She was asleep. This was a treacherous dream.

“Please, darling, believe me, if anyone is out of anyone’s league, it is you who is out of mine. Please forgive me. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I’m sorry I let a fool break your heart.”

His brows were pinched together, face anxious. She swallowed. She began to wonder whether to break into joyous laughter, or flee from the apparent hallucination.

“So you meant it?”

“All of it. Since you said you wanted a dancer. Well, no. Longer than that.”

“The parasol? But you gave them to everyone.”

“I...well, yes, I bought a bundle for the group. But yours was the only one I picked out personally.”

“The rose? You gave one to that little girl, too.”

“Ah. I’m sorry. I’d thought to give you the second as well, but I couldn’t find you, and then she fed me that line, and I couldn’t help myself. I’m not sure I can turn off that sort of impulse, darling.”

“I...I wouldn’t want you to. It’s just that I thought it meant my rose didn’t mean anything.”

“I see. I’m sorry. I should have tried a more direct approach, shouldn’t I? Just asked you, like a grownup.”

Serena breathed an almost-laugh. “As if I’ve room to criticize, there. But I, I’ve never quite entirely believed you could possibly mean it. I'm still having trouble. Why me? You’re, you’re like the sun, and I’m a rock by the side of the road.”

“Darling...How can you value yourself so lowly? I rather think it is the other way around. I try to be a diamond, perhaps, but it’s much easier to sparkle with you looking upon me.”

This made her hiccup a laugh, and he looked so hopeful at that, she wanted to touch his face. 

“But Sylv,” she said instead, “You’re you. You’re incredible. You, you’ve always been my dancer, but you’re everyone else’s dancer, too. You could find a real dancer of your own. Or a noble lady. Somebody better than me. Don’t settle for me.”

“Serena. I promise, I’m not settling. Serena, you are kind, and wise, and capable, and lovely, and you have the best heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And I like dancing with you. I like doing anything with you.”

She looked down at her hand atop his, starting to dare to believe. “That’s funny,” she said unsteadily. “That sounds a lot like how I describe you to other people.” 

She studied his face for another moment, watching a small smile climb hesitantly onto his face, and then she gave into her earlier impulse, lifting her free hand to touch the side of his face.

He caught his breath and brought up a warm hand to cover hers. A moment, and then he reached up to either side of her face, and gently, gently wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

“Ask me for anything, Serena. Only name it, and it’s yours.”

She studied his face, so close now. Experimentally tried out the thought: this is real. This is happening. “Would it be all right, then,” she asked slowly, “If I kissed you?”

“Please,” he breathed. So she bent down a hand’s breadth, and he tilted his head to meet her, and his lips were soft, and warm, and moving against hers, and she leaned into him and his arms went around her and pulled her against him and the zing shot through her and kept going, and going.

After a long moment, when she pulled away to look at his face, he smiled up at her. She smiled back, feeling dazed. “Sylv,” she said, “This is real. You really want this? Me?”

“Very much. Shall I work harder to convince you, Serena? You may kiss me until you feel certain, if you like.”

So she leaned back in, and this time his kiss was more demanding, somehow, and his hands moved up her back, caressing, sliding up her neck, into her hair, and she realized she could touch him, now, so she moved her hands, too, ran her thumbs over his collarbone, put her palms against the bare skin of his neck, slid her fingertips under the collar of his shirt.

Suddenly her imagination caught up with her and raced past. If it felt so amazing to do only this much, she wondered what it would be like for her to lift away his shirt, how long it would take for his clever fingers to undo the ties on her dress, to let him lead her to his bed—

She lifted her face away with a gasp. He lessened his hold on her immediately. “What is it?”

“I...it’s nothing.”

“Tell me, please.”

“I think I just, I just, I wasn’t expecting any of this, but it feels so, but I can’t…” She paused for a moment to try to stop tripping over her tongue. “I just all of a sudden started wanting things that I shouldn’t want. Not yet.” She swallowed. “Sylv, you said, in Lonalulu you said you weren’t looking for something quick and short-lived, right?”

“That’s right,” he said softly. “Serena, I have no problem with taking things slowly. Do you have a particular boundary in mind?”

“I...I’m not sure. Just kissing you seems to be dangerous.”

“Hmm. Flatterer.” He smiled at her. “Shall I promise to allow no more than we’ve already done, until you tell me otherwise, and you say so sometime outside the heat of the moment?”

She thought his smile might be dangerous, too, but she nodded. “Okay. Okay.”

“Then I give you my word.”

“Thank you, Sylv.”

He pulled her in again and gave her a lighter, briefer kiss, then drew back enough to rise to his feet, taking hold of her hands. “Serena, what else do you have in mind? Do you want to announce a courtship? Or would you prefer to keep things private for now?”

Serena hesitated. “Sylv, if we announce a courtship, are we going to hurt Dave’s feelings?”

“Hm. Angel of kindness, Dave has been telling me since we approached Puerto Valor to throw myself at your feet and confess my admiration in hopes of that very thing. Dave will not be hurt. Dave will be immensely smug.”

“Really?”

“Really, truly.” He gave her hand a little caress that stopped her thinking for a moment, then stilled and asked, “Serena. Are you really okay with Dave?”

“I think so. I…” A little worry slid through her. “Are you going to...Is it only Dave?”

“Yes. Only Dave. I’ll give you all the rest of me, as long as you want it.”

She felt relief, then another little pulse of worry. “You said you wouldn’t marry Dave. Does that mean you don’t ever want to get married?”

“No. No, it doesn’t mean that at all. That’s something that I want and Dave doesn’t. Dave doesn’t even want to admit to a relationship in public, but I’ve always wanted a big, beautiful wedding one day.”

The worry drained out of her again. “Then it doesn’t seem like I’m giving up much.”

“A little of my time and attention, mostly. I don’t think you will have any less affection from me because of it, but if it was important to you to have my entire heart to yourself, well. That’s the one thing I can’t offer.”

She thought about Dave’s concern for Sylvando earlier that night, and his willingness to make way for her to be here right now, and she just felt grateful and warm. She shook her head. “I’m fine with Dave. Do you know, he was the one who sent me in here tonight. He was worried about you, and he thought I might cheer you up.”

Sylvando breathed a laugh. “I may have underestimated how smug he is going to be. You’ve cheered me up very effectively, angel. I’m afraid I may be insufferably happy for the foreseeable future.”

He gave her another dangerous smile, warm and joyful and magnetic. She couldn’t quite decide whether she wanted to watch him smiling forever or press her mouth back against his. She followed the impulse to touch the side of his face again and said, “Insufferably? There’s no suffering in watching you being happy, Sylv. It’s my favorite thing in the world.”

“Ay, the things you say sometimes, Serena.” He solved her dilemma by kissing her again, and this time she had no doubts or fears lurking in the back of her head, only sheer joy, and she threw herself into it wholeheartedly.

When he pulled away, he said, “My darling, it’s already late, with a long day ahead tomorrow, and duty compels me to say to you that if you stay here for much longer, our friends are likely to assume that there is in fact more than kissing happening in here. What sort of reputation would you like to maintain?”

“Oh…” Serena thought about Francine, about Dave, about the whole crew imagining them doing what a good Arborian couple wasn’t supposed to do until they were married. “I don’t know. I’m not eager to leave, but, well...” She felt her face turning red.

“If you aren’t sure, then I should send you away. I’d not like you to find out you don’t care for those assumptions only after it’s too late to dispel them.”

“I suppose that makes sense. We’ll tell people we’re courting, then?”

“If you don’t expect to change your mind by tomorrow.”

“I’m quite certain I won’t.”

“Then I’ll look forward to seeing you in the morning, my darling Serena.” He held her hand and walked with her to the door. “Sweet dreams. I’d be honored if some of them are about me.”

“They usually are.” The open flirtation was as intoxicating an exercise as the rest. She pulled him down for one last kiss that turned into a delay of several minutes before she somehow finally made it out of his room.

When she stepped into her shared room, Chill and Francine were sitting on their bunks. “There you are. We were starting to wonder...Well! What have you been up to?” said Francine.

Serena realized she had a smile plastered across her face. It wouldn’t come off, so she covered her mouth with a hand.

Francine leaned forward and tilted her head. “Let me guess. You’ve been in somebody’s cabin?”

“Mmhmm,” Serena managed. “Umm.” Her smile shrank a couple notches. “Sorry, Francine.”

“Don’t be. Just tell us what happened. Some of us have money riding on the details. So?”

“Umm. I kissed him. We’re courting.”

“No way!” said Chill. “Sylv?”

Serena nodded.

“Finally. Pay up!” said Francine.

Chill shook her head and leaned over to rummage in her belongings. “Sorry, Serena. I was leaning toward the Dave theory. Well, congratulations!” She pulled out a handful of coins and handed them across to Francine.

Serena only kept smiling and climbed into her bunk. 

“Thanks, Chill!” said Francine into the silence, and jingled the coins in her hand. “Serena’s making me a rich woman tomorrow, once the others find out.”

  


* * *

  


_Dear Veronica,_

_We are about to hit the road to Gallopolis so I have to keep this short._

_I am unusually happy to admit: You were right after all. About everything._

_I love you._

_Serena_


	14. Chapter 14

In the morning, Serena woke up smiling. She found the entire group at breakfast smiling back at her, and her face warmed up, but then she locked eyes with Sylvando, and he was smiling too, and his voice was warm when he greeted her, and he offered her a bowl of oatmeal with fruit and spices and cream the way she usually prepared it for herself when she wanted an indulgence, and his hand brushed hers when he passed her a spoon, and she felt like her smile was getting out of hand so she covered her mouth with her other hand for a moment.

She caught whispers from the other side of the table.

“They’re adorable.”

“Shh. Leave them alone.”

  


* * *

  


When the group began last minute preparations to hit the road, Serena found Dave and drew him aside into the cargo hold under the pretext of giving him her extra medicines to sell.

“Hey, Dave. Um…”

“Sylv told me what happened last night.” She could hear the smile in the Dave’s voice, even through his mask. “I’m glad.”

“It’s really all right?”

Dave tilted his head. “As long as you’re all right with us, then yes. He wants different things with you than he’s ever had with me. I’ve never had a problem with him looking for what else he needs. It’s only trying to let him go entirely that I...don’t handle well.”

“Dave, you don’t have to tell me, but could I ask why you haven’t wanted to tell people about you and Sylv?”

“Hmm.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head.

“Sorry, you don’t have to…”

Dave shook his head. “It’s all right. It makes sense for you to ask. But I think the reasons have changed over time.” He turned away, found an empty crate and some packing materials, and began slowly and carefully putting away the medicines she’d brought before he started speaking again.

“Before I met Sylv, I was a military officer. It wasn’t appropriate to have a relationship between officers of different ranks, but I ended up with the same small group for years. They were the only people I trusted or cared for. So when one of my subordinates asked to start something, I...didn’t turn him down. But it felt like a worse idea to flaunt a disregard for the rules and bring down gossip on him. So, for better or worse, we both agreed it to keep it a secret.”

He fell silent for a moment, and Serena wished she could see his face behind the mask. “Sylv wasn’t ever quite in the military,” she prompted.

“No. But I tried to declare him captain when I put the ship under his control. We’ve disagreed about who really should hold the title, or if rank matters between us, but either way, it still didn’t feel appropriate to me to be open about our involvement.” He shrugged. “Or maybe I was just too used to not showing things in public, by then.”

“But you said the reasons changed?”

“Well, he almost changed my mind, once or twice. He likes showing affection, and if it means so much to him, I was halfway willing to try, even though it doesn’t come easily. But the other thing is, I always knew he would want some things that I don’t. He wants children. I want him to have children. But I don’t want to raise them or try to be a father. So I always expected him to find someone else.” He finished with the crate, took the lid, and put it very carefully in place. “It turns out I’m not good at letting go of him entirely and making it easier for him to find that someone, but at least I can leave room for a public relationship that includes a traditional-looking family.”

Serena put a hand over her mouth while she tried to figure out whether or not it was appropriate to be smiling, and Dave turned his head towards her suddenly. “Sorry, lass. Some of that should have been for him to say, and for the two of you to work out. I have hopes, but I’m not demanding anything.”

“I...I feel terribly selfish to admit it, but that’s honestly what I’m hoping for, myself. You really, really don’t mind?”

Dave chuckled. “I promise, I’m glad of it. I’ve been hoping for something like this for a long time. Him finding someone, I mean. I hadn’t quite expected for that someone to bother coming around to ask me what I thought. I appreciate it.”

Serena felt herself relax. “It’s obvious that you’re very important to him. I can’t see him being happy if we were at odds with each other. Dave, thank you for sending me to him last night.”

“Glad it worked. It’s a relief to see him off in such high spirits.”

Touched by that, Serena asked, “Is it hard, being away from him for so long when he travels inland?”

Dave hesitated. “Aye. Sometimes. But when he comes back, it’s like the first warm spring morning.”

Serena smiled at hearing something so poetic and affectionate from the big man, and Dave rubbed the back of his head and cleared his throat. “Anyhow. Take care of him for me, will you?”

“I will,” Serena promised.

  


* * *

  


There was precious little privacy to be had on the road to Gallopolis.

Samir explained the history of the area’s infrastructure. “A long time ago, there were desert nomads who were fierce warriors on horseback. The people who settled where Gondolia is now wished to trade with them, and with Hotto, which even then had a fine blacksmithing tradition. But they also feared the nomads. Those settlers were not warlike, and they thought they might not be able to defend themselves if an invasive force approached. So they decided to build paths through the swamp with long stairways. That way it would be very difficult to suddenly approach on horseback, but possible for determined traders to make their way through on foot.”

“So that’s why we get to haul all this stuff with no horses today?” asked Francine.

“It’s a fabulous opportunity. Just think of how much you’ll have grown your muscles by the time we arrive!” said Sylvando, immensely cheerful.

“Are you sure we need to carry quite so much water with us?” asked Francine.

“Trust me,” said Samir. “It’s much better to have too much than too little on this trip. We won’t necessarily use all of it for drinking. Some of it can be used for cooling.”

“You two sure you don’t want to just fly your dragons all the way there and wait for us?” Chill asked Maria and Mateo.

The pair shook their heads. “No,” said Mateo. “They aren’t heavy lifters, or very long range flyers with a load.” He looked up at the sky where the two small dragons wheeled overhead. “I think they’re tame enough now to keep coming back to us when we signal, even with this degree of freedom. Anyway, I think we should stick around and haul our own baby.” He hefted Lena and grinned.

Serena was already beginning to regret the weight of her pack together with the strap full of canteens. It was more or less bearable, now, two hours in to their travels, but there was a long walk ahead of them, and it had been some time since she’d been accustomed to long travel by foot, and her professional life wasn’t as athletic as most of the others.

Sylvando noticed her beginning to lag. “Serena, would you like me to carry anything?” he murmured.

She took a moment to think about it. Sighed. “I suppose I’d better say yes, or I’ll just end up slowing everyone down.”

“No need to sound down about it, my darling. Today, of all days, I am delighted to be able to do something for you.”

The warmth in his voice and his face washed out her embarrassment. He let his hand linger against hers as she passed him her heavy stores of water.

When she looked away to continue walking, she caught Maria watching them over her shoulder with a smile. But despite a little pulse of self-consciousness, Serena felt lighter on her feet than the reduced weight accounted for.

  


* * *

  


Despite her weariness at the end of the day, after Serena pitched her tiny one-person tent, she let Sylvando lead her away from the camp a little ways, and behind some foliage.

He leaned close to speak in a very soft tone, for her ears only. “How are you doing? I know it’s a lot of walking compared to anything we’ve done lately.”

“I’ll live. I’m looking forward to how much I’ll grow my muscles.”

His eyes crinkled at the corners. “No regrets?”

“None.” Serena took his hand, and then he leaned in to kiss her, and she thought she’d walk twice as far, carrying all the water, for this.

  


* * *

  


On the day they reached the desert, they were all glad of the water after all.

They carried their parasols and wore loose, long, pale clothing they’d bought in Gondolia to keep the worst of the sun from hitting them directly, but the sand grew hot under their feet. Before midday, they found a patch of sparse grass and set up some poles to hold up a large piece of canvas for shade, and they clustered together to rest under it.

For a moment, Serena thought about that night in front of the Viking hideout, and Mateo and Maria, and Grey and Samir, and she imagined sitting with Sylvando wrapped around her that way, for the sake of conserving space. Impossibly, this made her feel warmer, to the point of feeling faint. But no one took any such action. It was too hot for any unnecessary physical contact. Those who sat on the edges of the shade only used their parasols to extend it.

At Samir’s advice, they took water to sprinkle on their clothing. It didn’t take long to dry, but it provided a few minutes of relief.

She laid down to rest, and when she woke, she discovered the sun had shifted. Sylvando was sitting, watching her with a little smile, and holding her parasol as well as his to keep the sunlight off both of them.

This time, she was the one to let her hand linger against his when she took back her parasol. She was rewarded with a widening of his smile.

When she turned away to find her pack, she found Grey and Samir watching them, smiling. She felt too warm again, but she let them have a moment of her own smile before she looked away.

  


* * *

  


They resumed traveling until there was only a little light left to see by to pitch their camp. Serena found Sylvando and gave him a questioning look. He nodded, picked up a folded parasol, and accompanied her away from the tents.

They sat side by side in the sand, the evening breeze feeling just barely cool enough to allow the warm sand to feel pleasant against her tired legs. Sylvando opened the parasol and tilted it back over his shoulder to block the light from the tiny cooking fire behind them, shielding them somewhat from observation, and she tilted her face up for a kiss. Then she let him put an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned against him.

“Sylv?” She kept her voice soft so it wouldn’t carry.

“Yes, love?”

“Dave told me you want children, but I wanted to...”

“Dave told you that?” he interrupted. He sounded astonished, and he put on a peculiar sort of smile accompanied by a crease between his brows, as though he might be delighted and worried at the same time.

“Well, yes. Then he apologized and said he shouldn’t have been the one to say so.”

“Ah...he’s not wrong. I should have asked you, but I made an assumption after seeing you with Lena. Do you want children, Serena?”

“Of course I do. Isn’t that sort of the point of a courtship between a man and a woman, in the end? But I was curious if you’d thought about what it would be like. It seems like it’s working for Maria and Mateo, with Lena, but they do have Leo to help.”

He still looked off balance for a moment while she spoke, but he settled into a smile. “Well, if things follow the same sort of pattern for a while, I could play mama bear during the day while you’re busy doctoring, if you’d mind them while I’m performing.”

At that, she caught the smile from him, and as they discussed further details of their hypothetical children, she felt recklessly joyful. The conversation felt like indulging in something forbidden but wonderful, except no one had ever said she couldn’t talk about it, and Sylvando seemed as happy to participate as she was, so maybe it was only wonderful.

When they ran out of words for a moment and Sylvando took the opportunity to kiss her again, it felt like a promise, and she was only half glad of his oath and the lack of privacy blocking them from starting on the project immediately.

  


* * *

  


“Look, there’s Gallopolis at last!” announced Grey. The city was a small lump on the horizon.

“Are you excited to be going back?” asked Serena.

“It’ll be nice to see the circus crew there. Supposing they aren’t still too mad at me for leaving.”

“They had enough of a crew to carry on when you left,” Samir said. “As long as nothing scary is going on and no one’s run off again.”

“To be fair, the Dark Star was pretty scary,” said Grey.

Serena felt a sudden surge of unpleasant feeling a moment after he mentioned Calasmos’s barrier that had formed after Erdwin’s Lantern descended and broke. She recalled the great noise as Cetacea to crashed into the sphere, and the foulness that permeated the space inside. No one else seemed to have been quite as sensitive as she was to the presence of things that were truly evil, and she had felt nearly crushed by the magnitude of it in Calasmos’s domain.

She looked at Sylvando, remembering the way he’d answered her fears with perfect faith and encouragement. The way she’d chosen to put her trust in his words, and in their team.

He felt her gaze and looked back at her with a smile, then concern. “Darling, are you all right?”

“Just remembering another time we were in the area.”

“Hmm. I was too. Talk of the Star made a shiver go down my spine just now. Thank goodness that business is all over and done.”

“The entire city of Gallopolis will agree with you there,” said Samir.

They continued trudging towards the city. Serena couldn’t quite shake off the memory completely, so she took Sylvando’s hand to distract herself. He traded a smile with her.

“Ugh. I’m already beat,” commented Francine, an hour later. “I’m down to one and a half canteens, so you’d think the walking would be getting easier with the lighter load, but I guess the days of walking through the desert are catching up with me.”

“You’re telling me,” grumbled Chill. “If I could only find a nice dark cave think I could sleep for a week. Right now.”

“Drink more water,” advised Serena, worried about heat sickness or dehydration.

“We know! We know,” said Chill.

“I’m worried about the dragons,” said Maria. “I thought they went off to hunt, but usually they come back and keep pace with us, and I haven’t seen them for a while. I hope they aren’t done with us.” She exchanged an anxious look with Mateo, and he put a hand on her shoulder.

“Sorry, darlings,” said Sylvando. “But it was never going to work to carry them in cages all the way inland. Maybe it’s just too hot for them here. I bet we’ll see them again, later, though. They really do love you two.”

The pair smiled slightly at that. “I hope so,” said Maria.

“I hope it’s not going to get too hot for you to practice with the local crew,” said Samir. “Sometimes we get a heat wave, even this early in the year. I’m feeling it, too.”

“I hope they want to practice with us. I’m really getting kind of worried about it, the more I think about it,” said Grey.

“I’m positive they will,” said Sylvando. “The ringmaster was quite enthusiastic about the prospect of future collaboration when I came to poach you away, and I had a very nice letter from him confirming the dates.”

“I guess.”

“Is it the heat that’s getting everyone down?” asked Serena. “I might be able to do something about it. Sylv, can you hold my parasol?”

“Of course.”

Serena got out her harp. “Sorry in advance if this gets a little repetitive, but I can try to use music to channel a heat protection spell. Let’s see if it doesn’t help a bit.” She picked out a simple melody that she could keep up for a while without thinking about it, and concentrated to sink her magic into the notes so it could easily spread out and touch everyone in hearing range. The magical energy trickled out of her at a pace she estimated she could only keep up for a couple of hours, but she thought it might be worth it if it brought them close to the city with less discomfort.

They walked for a while longer, and then Chill said, “Sorry, Serena. I’m not feeling much cooler and I’m getting sleepier from the music.” A couple of others murmured agreement.

Serena frowned. “All right, I’ll stop. But I hope everyone isn’t coming down with something. Let me try a couple more things just to see what happens. Anyone care to volunteer?”

“Sure,” said Chill. “I’ll take a long shot toward feeling better.”

Serena nodded and began running through some small spells.

“Here’s a heal.”

“Ugh. Just made me feel warmer.”

“Sorry. Let’s test for poison, which is unlikely, but easy to fix.”

“Nothing.”

“Okay. This next one will take a minute to do anything if it’s going to, but we’ll rule out, oh, a soporific fungus nearby, or so forth.” Though she’d amused herself at the time she’d invented the spell, today she felt embarrassed as she pulled out her wand and her “Snap, Crackle, Poof” resistance magic. She had whimsically modeled the visual element after a scene in a book of children’s fairy tales, thinking the pixie dust would help her to track who was protected by the spell. Which it did. But maybe it was a bit childish.

“I always loved that one,” commented Sylvando, and she felt better.

After a minute, Chill straightened her shoulders and smiled at Serena. “Huh. I actually think I do feel better. Like, a lot better.”

“Really? That’s...not really what I expected.”

“Me next,” pleaded Francine.

“Sure. Unfortunately, this isn’t going to last very long. But maybe it will help us get out of range of whatever is causing it.”

Serena began cycling through the troupe, and cast it on herself for good measure. She felt a little more energetic, and her worry about the well being of the group eased, now that she had some way to address the problem. She raised her wand questioningly at Sylvando.

“I’m all right for now,” he said.

“Okay. Let me know.”

The magic only lasted for a few minutes per casting, and Serena was glad of her focusing wand so at least a little of the excess energy she passed through it would soak into the tool and seep back into her from it over time.

They walked for another half hour, and Serena was already starting to feel a little bit magically drained from the repeated application. “I wonder if I can work out another variation,” she murmured to Sylvando. “Maybe on the harp? Or maybe a little weaker but longer lasting version. Like Kahuna Hani’s booster to help a body fight off a sickness.”

“Why not both?” Sylvando asked.

“Why not?” Serena retrieved her harp, and began playing another simple, repetitive melody, while thinking about the effect she wanted. Finally, she let her magic trickle out with the sound, slowly, picturing it looping around each target it reached like the melody looped into itself, so it might be able to sustain itself for a while.

After a minute, Sylvando stretched. “My, that does make a difference, doesn’t it?”

“You could have said something earlier, Sylv,” she scolded.

“It wasn’t unbearable. And I know it’s a lot of work for you to keep the other one going over so many people.”

They were able to walk for an hour at a time before the group began to gloomily comment about the return of their exhaustion, and Serena refreshed the magic. It came easier each time, and she thought it wouldn't take too long for her to reach a maximum efficiency with the amount of magic she spent as it began to feel more like a well-defined spell. But the second time she refreshed it, she didn’t quite shake her feeling of concern.

“This is odd. I thought we must be passing by some fauna or flora that was generating the effect, but it’s affecting a much wider area than I expected.”

“Maybe they’ll be able to tell us more in the city. Look! It’s probably only another hour or so,” said Sylvando brightly.

  


* * *

  


When they finally approached, no one stood outside the city gates. “Hello, Gallopolis!” called Sylvando. No one answered, so he shrugged. “I guess we should let ourselves in.”

Samir nodded. “The doors are well balanced, so as long as they’re not barred, it’s not hard to open them,” he said, stepping forward to push.

Serena sucked in a breath as the door swung open, feeling a fresh premonition of disaster run through her even before she saw into the city. The streets were quiet and seemed empty at first glance, until she saw a number of people slumped against walls or under the tables of their market stalls.

Samir let out a cry and started forward.

“Wait,” Serena commanded sharply. Frowning, she got out her harp and repeated the protective spell.

She was aware of the magic reaching out to touch some of the fallen locals, which she realized with relief meant they were still alive. “I think they’re all right. Let’s stick together.”

“What happened here?” murmured Sylvando.

“I imagine they weren’t able to resist the sleep effect. Sylv, can you try to wake up this guard?” Serena gestured at a man curled up on the ground next to the gate.

“Of course.” He knelt and patted the man on the face. “Wakey wakey, honey. Can you hear me? Well, all right, let’s try it the hard way. Snap out of it!” He used a sharper slap and Serena sensed the little rush of magic from him.

“Huh? What?” The man jerked awake, to Serena’s relief. She had a feeling it was a good thing for the city that Sylvando was here. “Who are you? What’s going on?”

“We were hoping you could answer that last part, darling. It seems like everyone just laid down for a little nappy time around here. Is that a new tradition?”

“Huh? Is it summer?”

“No,” said Samir. “It’s not hot enough for noon rests to start yet, and we meant that people are actually sleeping on the streets.”

“Huh. That’s weird, but I know how they feel. I think I could sleep for a week.” The guard dropped his head back onto his arm.

“Oh no you don’t, honey. Up you get, come on. We need your help.” Sylvando took the man by the arm and lifted him to his feet.

“Can you tell us where to look for a doctor? And maybe a scholar, someone who would know about biology, or magical effects, native to the area?” asked Serena.

“Uh. Yeah, doctor’s house is over there.” He pointed. “And I think there’s a couple of scholars who live over here somewhere.” He gestured vaguely at some nearby homes.

“Thank you.” Serena looked at him uncertainly. “Um. How are you feeling, now?”

“Tired. Don’t think I can deal with all this today.”

Serena exchanged a look with Sylvando, and she shrugged helplessly.

“All right, honey,” Sylvando said. “How about if you sit back down and wait for us here, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

“Let’s try the doctor, first,” said Serena. “Which house was it?”

“Over here.” Samir led the troupe towards the indicated house. Serena sympathetically noted the anxiety written across the group’s faces.

Sylvando must have seen the same thing, because he clapped his hands and announced enthusiastically, “All right, gang! You thought you were only a humble circus troupe, but today, you are joining Sylv’s Detective Agency! Let’s solve us a mystery!”

“Huh. Do we get double pay for this?” Francine asked, and Serena smiled a little at the effort toward banter.

Sylvando knocked on the doctor’s door, then opened it and went inside. A woman was slumped over a table, her nose literally stuck in a book.

Serena pulled out her wand and cast the original full protective spell on her. “Sylv?”

He nodded and gently sat the woman up. “All right, honey. Wake up!” This with another slap and his own magic, again.

“Ah! What? Do you have an appointment?”

“Hello, darling, are you the doctor?”

“Yes, I’m Doctor Zel. Who are you? Do you have an appointment?” The woman stared at his chest.

“My name is Sylvando. We’re here because there seems to be some kind of sleepiness epidemic affecting the city. Do you know anything about it?”

“An epidemic? I was tired, earlier. Are you saying it’s a sickness?”

“We were hoping you might be able to help us figure that out,” said Serena. “It seems like there is something in the area that is affecting everyone. We were traveling through the desert this morning, and we started feeling much more tired than usual, until I tried casting a spell that normally prevents things like sleeping spells or poisons from taking effect, and then we began feeling better. So I don’t think it’s necessarily a disease, but could there be any sort of fungus or plant in the area that might cause such an effect?”

The doctor frowned at Serena’s shoes. “No. Nothing like that in any of the books. Nothing like that in what I was taught. Not to affect everyone at range.”

“All right. Well, a lot of people are asleep outside in the streets. I’m worried that some of them may have fallen badly. Do you feel up to helping to check on them?”

“I will. I’ll get my kit.”

“Okay. Also, do you know of anyone else who might have a clue? Any biologists, magical experts, other scholars?”

“There’s a group of scholars who rent rooms near the gate.” She led them outside and pointed. “Those two buildings right there. What...” Doctor Zel surveyed the people on the street. “They’ll burn where they are. They need to be moved.”

Sylvando nodded. “Francine, Chill, could you go take a little look-see in those houses, see if our scholarly friends are at home today? The rest of us will lend a hand here for a minute or two.”

“On it,” said Francine.

Serena joined the doctor in inspecting the sleeping populace, but a minute later she felt another rush of dread, worse than any other moment of the day. She sucked in her breath as she stood and spun toward Francine and Chill in time to see Francine fall into an open doorway, and Chill staggered to her knees nearby.

“Francine!” Sylvando shouted. He too sprang to his feet.

“Sylv, stop,” Serena commanded sharply. He stumbled mid-step and turned to give her an anguished look, which she ignored. She took a quick moment to look through the doorway at a distance. This had to be the source of the problem. Was there a hint of shadow through the door? At least nothing emerged to physically attack Francine.

“Grey. Come here, quickly.” Serena cast her Snap, Crackle, Poof on the soldier-turned-acrobat for the stronger protection. “Go, Grey. Pull her back and shut the door. Then get her back over here, if you can.” She looked at Sylvando, who was nearly vibrating with the need to move. “You, stay. I need you awake, so you can keep waking up other people.”

Sylvando crossed his arms, but he nodded sharply and turned back to watch at a distance as Grey sprinted forward.

Serena looked around. Mateo’s arms were full of a sleeping Lena. “Maria, you next.” She cast the spell again on the small woman. “Let’s see if he can get the door…” Grey pulled Francine clear and the door swung shut. Serena shuddered with relief. “Okay. Please try and help Chill to get away.”

“On it.”

Grey was swaying, but he managed to lift Francine and stumble back in their direction. Serena cast the protection for Sylvando. “I think it’s all right now,” she said, and he sprang forward to help.

They set down Francine carefully, and Sylvando knelt to help her. Serena glanced over to see Maria helping Chill stand up, and then turned her attention to Grey.

He was pale. “Samir,” he said, “I think I just saw a piece of the Dark Star in there.”

“What?” exclaimed Sylvando. “But…”

Samir nodded slowly. “Some people said they saw something fall, when the whale flew into it.”

“That explains a lot,” said Serena. “All day, I’ve kept feeling this sense of dread, and I thought I was just reacting to things that were happening. But that’s not it at all. It reminded me of how the inside of the Star felt, because part of the Star is still here.”

“Serena, are you saying Calasmos is still not gone?” Sylvando asked, frowning.

“I don’t know. This feels a little bit different, and we haven’t been seeing the same kinds of problems in the world. But he made the Star to protect himself, didn’t he? So maybe it has evil properties of its own.”

“What the devil are you people talking about?” groaned Francine.

“How are you feeling, Francine?” asked Serena.

“Like this morning, times ten. Like I got run over by a cart.”

“Seriously, though. What are you guys talking about?” asked Grey.

Serena glanced at Sylvando, who rubbed a hand over the side of his face. “Well, darling. You remember the time you asked if we knew anything about the magical flying sky whale and the Star, and I said we were riding on the whale when it went inside?” He shrugged, then turned away and went to help the doctor lift one of the sleepers.

Grey watched him go with an impatient frown, then his eyes widened. “What?!” He turned to Serena. “What!”

She tilted her cheek into her hand and glanced at the sky where the Dark Star used to be. “I suppose in a way this may be our fault. We didn’t think to check for anything that fell out of the sky. We just assumed the whole mess was all cleaned up.” She turned to watch Sylvando. “I think we might need El.”

“He’s not likely to show up until the end of the month,” said Sylvando. “That’s over two weeks out.”

“I know.” Serena sighed. “Let’s try the church. If this is an evil force, there may be some amount of protection, there.”

The group followed her, subdued. Samir and Grey hung back, muttering quietly to each other.

Inside the church, they found a nun asleep, but she woke up with only non-magical intervention.

“Would it be all right if we brought people in here?” Serena asked her. “It seems like the effects are weaker in a holy space. It would be good to get them out of the sun. Besides, at some point, people will need to eat and drink something.”

“Of course. I can provide a simple meal,” offered the nun.

Serena refreshed her harp spell and sent the circus troupe out to begin bringing the victims into the church. As they came in, she joined the doctor in checking them over.

“A lot of them feel too hot,” she said.

“They’ve been out in the sun too long,” said Doctor Zel. “We need to get some water into them.”

Sylvando’s intervention was required for this. He woke them up twenty in a row, and the healers and the nun handed out water. Realizing she was as expert as anyone and Sylvando was preoccupied, Serena took it on herself to explain what was going on. Then they moved on to the next set of sleepers.

Some awoke with groans of pain, evidently having been affected too suddenly and taken bad falls. The nun winced. “I wish I was better with healing. The old priest could help five people in a day. I’m lucky if I can manage one or two.”

After determining that no one had a truly major injury, Serena pressed her lips together and only cast Kahuna Hani’s small spell for encouraging more rapid natural healing.

She pulled Sylvando aside, tugged on his arm to get him to lean in closer. “Sylv, my magic’s more than half drained. How are you doing?”

He sighed. “Almost dry. I hope our friends in here don’t fall asleep again before dinner. Maybe we should try a shop and see if we can turn up some potions.”

“Good thinking. Why don't you go and see if you can wake up a shopkeeper?”

He nodded and left.

Francine and Chill stumbled into the building, leaning on each other. “I know you just did your harp thing again a few minutes ago, but Francie’s about done in, and I’m not a whole lot better. I think maybe getting too close earlier is still having an effect on us.”

“All right. Why don’t you stay here and rest for a while?”

“Don’t think I have a choice,” mumbled Francine as she sat down.

“Hang on. Drink some water before you fall asleep.”

“Chill, are you okay?” Leo approached, carrying his sister. “Do you think you could take Lena? Then I could go out and help, too.”

“Sure, kid. She looks beat, huh?”

“Yeah. She mostly wants to sleep, too. I got her to eat a few minutes ago, though.”

Sylvando returned with a box filled with vials of magic water. “This is their entire supply. It looks like a lot when it’s in a pile like this, doesn’t it? We’d better stay conservative with it, though.”

“Right. How much did this cost you?”

“Nothing. The sweethearts donated it to the cause. They’ll be bringing their family in soon.”

“Your name is Sylvando, right?” Doctor Zel approached them. “A lot of the people you woke up are starting to fall asleep, and the food isn’t ready yet. Can you wake them up again?”

“Oh, dear. I don’t think I can keep waking everyone up by magic all day long. Well, but that’s not the only way, is it? We should know a thing or two about keeping people awake and on the edge of their seats!” He looked around. “Although, we’ve never performed in a church, before.” He went to speak quietly to the nun, then moved to the door and looked into the street. “Samir, darling!” he called. “Come in when you have a moment!”

The musician looked tense when he arrived, helping Grey to carry in another citizen. His lips were pressed flat together when he approached Sylvando, but Sylvando ignored the expression and spoke in his usual tone.

“Samir, these people are falling asleep, which we’re not quite ready for, and I don’t know if I feel right about doing most of my little tricks inside a church. Do you have something lively and family friendly?”

Samir squared his shoulders. “Of course.” Then he hesitated. “Sylvando. We’re almost done going through the town, but…” He glanced pointedly around the church, which was packed with people. “We haven’t gone into the palace, yet, and this place is full.”

“Oh, no,” Serena said, exchanging a look with Sylvando. “How did we forget about the sultan?”

“And our dear little princey. I suppose we’d better go say hello.”

“I’ll come along,” offered Grey.

Samir eyed him anxiously. “Remember to be respectful. Don’t stare and don’t forget your bow.”

“I know. I remember your lessons.”

Samir nodded. “All right.” He looked at Sylvando. “Do find Prince Faris if you can. He may be young, but he is the bravest and strongest among all the knights. He will want to help the city however he may.”

Sylvando and Serena traded another glance. “Of course, honey,” Sylvando said. “I saw him being all brave and heroic that one time, too, you know.”

Serena pocketed a handful of restorative vials from the shopkeeper’s box while Samir set up with his lute and struck up an intro to a simple but lively tune. “All right, everyone,” he called, sounding upbeat and charismatic for the audience. “You all know this one, so I want to hear you singing along!”

Chill perked up at the prospect of a performance. “If you don’t, you’re gonna get a visit from a baby.” She brandished a drowsy Lena. “And she’s teething, so there’s a lot of drool.”

Sylvando watched them with a smile. “That’s my troupe,” he murmured. “All right, let’s go.”

  


* * *

  


They found the sultan and his wife asleep on their thrones, and Prince Faris lying spread-eagled on the floor in front of them.

Serena played her harp as loudly as she could, hoping to reach the guards and servants clustered around the palace, and Sylvando approached the sultan first. “Up and at it, Your Majesty!” Grey made a tiny noise of protest as Sylvando slapped the ruler of all Gallopolis.

“Oh. Oh, hello. Aren’t you that performer who knows the knight’s code?”

“That’s right. The Great Sylvando, at your service. Your Majesty, I’m afraid your kingdom is having a teensy little bit of a problem today. It has to do with a piece of the Dark Star.”

“The Dark Star? Oh, I think Faris was going on about that recently. What’s...Faris? What’s wrong with my boy? Where is everyone? What’s going on, here!”

“It’s something like a mass sleeping spell, Your Majesty,” Serena explained. “I can help limit the effects for a little while, but…”

“Come on, your great and fabulous Royal Highness. Wakey wakey!” Sylvando knelt and slapped the prince. Grey winced.

“Ugh. It’s not my fault! I couldn’t get them to wake up. What...You!” Faris scrambled back, leapt up, and took a step back from Sylvando.

“Nice to see you again, too, oh mighty, noble prince. Knight among knights. Hero among men.” Sylvando gave him a deep bow with an elaborate flourish and a hint of a smile.

“Ah...yes, yes. What, ah, what brings you here? And did I imagine...” He looked around the room. “No...Why? Why must we be cursed? Was the Dark Star not enough?”

“Prince Faris, do you know anything about the piece of the Star in town?” Serena asked.

“The Star shard? Yes, my men and I brought it back last month. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Last month? But…”

“Yes, yes, that astronomer wanted to study it, and I thought it would be good if somebody ended up being happy over that whole unpleasant business. But why is everyone sleeping?”

Serena explained the situation once again, and Faris abruptly sat down. “So it’s my fault. I really am worse than useless after all.” Serena heard Grey’s sudden intake of breath.

“Oh, honey. Don’t say that,” said Sylvando. “You couldn’t have known. The question now is: what are you going to do? We could use your help.”

“You could?”

“That’s right. Right now, we need to take care of all these people. They’ll need food and water, and we should be able to make them more comfortable as well. Do you have a cook who could help prepare food for everyone?”

“Yes! I can help you find her.” Faris got back to his feet. “Father, worry not! I will ensure that our people are taken care of!”

The sultan nodded, then yawned. “Good. I knew I could count on you. I think I’d better stay here and...stay here in case anyone comes looking for me.”

Serena gave the sultan a worried look as Faris marched forth. She fell into step with Sylvando. “I don’t think he’s got long before he’s out again. There’s another thirty people in here, at least. Are you going to make it through all of them?”

Sylvando looked over at her with a serious face, then suddenly smiled brightly. “Well, I’ve always loved the taste of a little magic water!” With a flick of his wrist, he produced three vials, then uncorked them and drank them one after another. He managed another smile for a moment, then pulled a face. “Just between you and me, though, they could stand to work a bit on that chalky texture. Oh, well.” He produced three more vials with his other hand and repeated the process.

They revived the cook, who agreed to start a cauldron of a simple rice dish, and they gathered up the other sleepers near the stairs. This time they waited to wake anyone else up until they were prepared to give them food and drink right away. Sylvando hesitated halfway through attending to the group, and Serena offered him the potions she’d brought along. “Thank you, darling,” he said, and quaffed all of them.

Faris stood in front of his people to give a speech as Sylvando woke the last person. “My friends, do not fear! We have been afflicted with a minor curse, but I, your beloved prince, will care for you in your hour of need. I have brought these people here to help me, and they are going to help me to get rid of the curse as well. So, do not worry!”

The prince’s words earned mixed reactions from the crowd. A number of people brightened and exclaimed their relief and gratitude. But several knights looked resigned or apprehensive. Serena glanced at Grey, who opened his mouth, and then closed it.

The prince and one of his knights accompanied them when they returned to the church. Faris led the way inside. “Hello, my people! It is I! Oh...” He hesitated, seeing most of the occupants asleep, but some looked up at his announcement and sat up.

“Prince Faris!”

“It’s the prince!”

“Aha! Yes, I have come to see how you are all doing, and to reassure you that things are being taken care of. I will see to it!”

Serena left him to it and went to check with Doctor Zel, who was sitting and frowning at the floor. She glanced up very briefly at Serena's approach.

“Hello, Doctor. I didn’t really introduce myself earlier. I’m Serena, and I’m primarily a healer. I can keep doing my resistance spell to try to limit the effects of this curse, and I’ll do whatever I else I can to help.”

For a moment, she wasn’t sure Zel was paying attention to her, because Zel looked past her, but when she finished the doctor nodded and said, “Okay. Most of them ate, and I got some water into the two who wouldn’t stay awake. Your musician probably helped keep the rest of them alert.”

“Good.”

“I have a hypothesis that there is a depressive element to this curse. People are tired, but they are also unhappy. It got worse when your spell wore off. I think. You should probably try to confirm. But taking the people who sitting were closest to me as a sample, a slight majority of them began talking about being doomed, or how they feel helpless, or they started crying. You should cast your spell again. I’m feeling it myself.”

Serena blinked. Zel kept a good poker face, but Serena glanced around and found a lot of glum faces surrounding them. So she obligingly played her harp again before she rejoined Faris and Sylvando.

“Is there any more damage control we need to do tonight?” she asked them. “Have we covered the whole city?”

Chill joined them, still holding a sleeping Lena. “Maria said they got to all of the houses, except…” She bit her lip. “Before Francine conked out again, she said she’d seen a man in the room with the Star piece.”

“Oh, no,” said Serena. She tried to think of who in their rescue team had been the least exposed to the effects, in case they were cumulative.

“It must be the astronomer. Worry not! I will rescue him myself! And then I will have some words with him,” declared Prince Faris. Then he caught Serena and Sylvando looking at each other in startlement. “What? It’s not dangerous, is it? With your magic?”

“Well, no, darling, as far as we can tell, the worst case is that you’ll fall asleep, and we’ll have to send someone to give you a hand,” said Sylvando. “In fact, you’re probably the best person we have for the job, right now.”

“Of course I am! All right, let’s go.”

After a brief strategy session, they had Faris tie a rope onto the door handle at the astronomer’s home, so they could close it from a distance if needed. They tied another rope around his waist, in case they had to pull him back, too. He accepted Serena’s protective spell, then charged forth with a yell.

Serena held her breath when the door opened, with a passing thought that the whole plan was going to fail and they’d be responsible for losing the prince, but Faris emerged with the astronomer and made it several paces out before he staggered to his knees. Sylvando yanked on the rope to close the door, waited for Serena to cast for him, and dashed forward to help.

They brought the prince and scholar back to the church. “I’ve done it!” announced Faris. “I’ve rescued another one of our good people.” He smiled and nodded as a few of his audience applauded. “Now I’m just going to sit down for a minute.” He ended up laying down in the middle of the aisle, the most obvious open space remaining in the room.

Sylvando watched the prince with a tiny smile. “Sweet dreams, oh mighty champion.”

“He did good, today,” Serena murmured to him.

“Yes. I’m feeling just a bit proud. Well, let’s see if our newest friend has anything to say.”

Serena fetched a bit of food and water while Sylvando knelt by the astronomer. When she returned, Sylvando gave her a worried look. “No response, yet.”

“Let me try a little boost, first,” she said, casting her stronger protection on the man. But it still took two more attempts from Sylvando before the man opened his eyes.

“Hello, darling. How are you feeling?”

The man grunted. “Horrible,” he croaked. Serena quickly offered him some water while Sylvando helped him to sit up.

“It seems like that star shard of yours is having some nasty side effects. What’s the last thing you remember, honey?” Sylvando asked him.

“No. Oh, no. By comparison, it was so easy to make progress with the Lantern shard, but the Star shard was baffling, and I was trying to figure out how the two of them related to each other. I wanted to check if the curvature of each one was the same, so I just brought the Lantern piece up against the Star piece, and as soon as they touched there was some kind of reaction. The two pieces went flying apart, and I had the most dreadful feeling, like I’d just ended the world. I don’t remember much of anything after that.” He turned his head. “What’s happened? What’s wrong with everyone?”

“They’re all right. They’re just having a little snooze.”

Serena let Sylvando explain again while she thought over the new information. If the Lantern was made to bind Calasmos and the Star was to protect him, it made sense that they would be magically opposed in some way.

She fiercely missed Veronica, who would see it as a mystery to be conquered, and Rab, who might have known something about what was happening. And El, who might be able to simply fix it by applying his Luminary’s powers.

Thinking beyond the moment left her feeling abruptly shaken and drained. This was only one day. They might be able to keep the city from starving to death, with luck. For a while. But she had no idea how to resolve the problem without their other friends, or more resources. Two weeks of this would surely be too much. She’d fall asleep, and not wake up, and she’d fail everyone. The city would waste away because she couldn’t fix one evil curse.

Suddenly Sylvando was at her side, peering into her face, gently taking her arm. “Serena, let’s take a little walk.”

He led her down the street, into the cooling breeze, around a corner. Then he reached for her hands. “How are you doing, love?”

“Sylv, I don’t know if we can do this. We need El. We need something. We don’t have the supplies to keep up with so much magic for two weeks, and I can’t think of a way to deal with the shards. What if it gets worse?”

“Serena, I won’t say I’m not a little worried, but look at how much we’ve accomplished in just one day. We’ve taken care of all these people, and I think we’ve learned a lot about how to improve the process. It seems like people will wake up naturally in the church. El will come find us eventually. We just need to pace ourselves to take care of the rest. I believe in us. You and me and our friends and even little Prince Faris.”

She smiled, reluctantly. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I’m sure I am. But I want you to get some rest, okay?”

“Sylv, what if we don’t wake up?”

“That’s not going to happen. I’ll stay up and make sure you wake up. Then you block the effect for me when you want me to wake up, later. Okay?”

Serena thought it over for a moment. “Okay.” She took a deep breath, feeling a little better, but a little thread of worry stuck with her. If something still went wrong, and she’d never even said it…

“Sylv?”

“Yes, my darling?”

“I...I love you. It’s selfish, but I’m really glad you’re here.”

His eyes softened and he brought one hand to the side of her face. “I love you too, Serena. Curse or no curse, I’m glad to be at your side.”

That was enough to banish the last of her dread in a rush of joy, and she reached for him, and he kissed her, and for a little while she didn’t care about anything else.

She was smiling when they returned to the church, and they found a spot along the wall to sit together for a time. He let her use his shoulder for a pillow, and she fell asleep savoring the contact and the scent of roses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's following this closely enough to notice the pattern, I've been trying to make an update each week, but I'm probably going to miss next week.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: descriptions of illness and death

Serena woke from uneasy dreams to Sylvando gently running his fingers over her cheek. She found herself curled on the floor, her head pillowed on a folded blanket.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said.

“Mm. Hello, diamond.” She felt pleased with herself as he raised his eyebrows and then gave her a broad smile. “Did you have to use magic to wake me up?”

“No. It seems like folks are responding to a regular old wake-up call in here. We haven’t checked in at the palace, yet. But we’re thinking if you can play your harp, we could send people here home for a little time. It will be easier if people can care for themselves a little bit.”

“How’s Francine?”

“Better. Not at a hundred percent, but everyone’s still a little pooped.”

“And you’ve been up all night. Where are you going to sleep?”

“I thought I’d try upstairs, out of the way.”

Serena followed him upstairs. The space was still packed with a quiet, drowsy crowd. Conscious of the eyes on the two of them, she only touched Sylvando’s hand. “I’ll come for you in a while, then. Noon or so?”

“All right.”

  


* * *

  


Serena consulted with Maria to formulate a mealtime plan, then went to play her harp for the crowded room. She felt uncomfortably conscious of the eyes on her, but she squared her shoulders and called out, “May I have your attention, everyone? I’ve just cast a spell that will help you resist the curse for about an hour. We have a little food here, but we don’t have enough ready for everyone here right now, so if you can, please head home and feed yourselves. But if you feel yourself suddenly starting to get tired, come back here immediately. And please prop your front door open while you’re at home, so if we need to send a rescue party, we’ll be able to find you.”

She went with Doctor Zel to check on the palace, but everyone there was asleep and refused to wake. “They will be fine if we get them up to feed them just once, later tonight, but we should see if we can get them to take some fluids,” Zel said. She showed Serena how to position their unconscious patients and coax them into swallowing small amounts of water without choking, and they spent hours on this task. Serena took a break in the middle to revisit the church and play her harp there again, and while she was there, she recruited Grey, Chill, and a couple of locals to come to the palace so they could learn the process and assist.

At lunchtime, Serena sent the locals home again. Then she went to meet Sylvando. When she discovered that he was alone in the upstairs space, she impulsively woke him with a kiss, as though she were a fairy tale prince, and he sat up smiling. “I’ve always wished someone would do that,” he said.

Samir found the two of them while she was updating Sylvando on the day’s events. He clasped his hands and stood stiffly in front of them. “Look. Grey and I...We’re still kind of upset about you and the whale. We don’t understand why you didn’t just tell us properly. But it doesn’t really matter right now. You…”

“Darling, wait. I am sorry,” said Sylvando. “I really am. It’s just that...well, you said it yourselves, it’s a pretty unbelievable story, isn’t it? And I always wanted you to come with me because you wanted to be part of the troupe, not because of whatever unrelated work I’ve done in the past.”

Samir eyed him for a moment, then nodded. “Well, all right, and so I did. But for my sake, and for everyone else, please, keep doing whatever you can, here. Without holding back. Both of you. Please.”

“Of course we will,” said Sylvando.

“You don’t even have to ask,” added Serena.

  


* * *

  


They gathered a team for a strategy meeting: Sylvando, Serena, Samir, Faris, Zel, and Maria.

“So your friends are coming two weeks from now? I don’t know if I am going to go mad with worry or die of boredom,” declared Faris.

“If the effect doesn’t change at all, it’s not optimal to leave the people in the palace sleeping for so long,” said Zel.

“I don’t like it either, honey, but I can’t perk up so many people more than once a day, unless we find more potions to restore my magic,” said Sylvando.

“Can’t we get some more potions? What if we send someone by horse?” asked Faris.

“The stablemaster says only the two slowest, laziest horses are left. All the others ran away when the effect started,” said Samir. “Plus, I think we’d have to send Serena along, and then we wouldn’t have her here.”

Maria made a face. “I don’t know if you talked to the people who woke up before Serena played her harp this morning, but I think that would be a pretty rough couple of days for everyone here.”

Sylvando nodded. “No one lasts very long awake outside the church without Serena’s magic.”

Samir nodded as well. “Leo and Grey pushed it too long and fell asleep on the palace steps yesterday. And we had to rescue two families after breakfast. I don't think we can safely send anyone out of the building without her spell.”

Sylvando added, “Even in here, her magic makes a big difference for keeping people’s spirits up.”

Serena gave him a worried look. “How bad was it, staying up all night?”

“Well. I wouldn’t recommend it for a vacation any time soon, but The Great Sylvando has faced down worse.”

“I don’t suppose you know how to make more potions, Serena?” asked Samir.

Serena reluctantly looked away from Sylvando to answer. “Well, I do know the recipe, but unfortunately, it requires spending significantly more magical energy to make the potion than you get back from drinking it. The shopkeeper can make one per day, but that’s about it.”

The group fell silent for a minute, and Faris sighed. “Fine, fine. My people will just have to become very well rested,” he said.

Zel said, “We should get the palace residents to rotate in to the church for a day at a time. We can get people from the church to rest in the palace. Or at home.”

“Do we have enough food stocked up for the city?” asked Maria.

“Not a problem. Our kingdom is wise enough to plan ahead, so there are grains stockpiled against famine,” said Faris.

"We might want to start pulling from those stockpiles soon, Your Highness," said Maria. "It's going to be a lot easier than going anywhere besides the closest parts of the oasis to find food, and I suspect most households are used to visiting the market every day, so folks won't take long to run low on supplies. I met some of the cooks from the palace and the tavern, earlier, and I think we can probably use the tavern kitchen to cook for the crowd, but we'll probably need to coordinate with you, Serena, in case it takes longer than one round of your magic."

"Sure."

"What are we doing for entertainment?" asked Samir. "Two weeks is a long stretch for folks to sit around and do nothing.”

Faris nodded. “Sylvando, you can entertain us.”

“So nice of you to ask, honey,” Sylvando said with a small smile. “I already spoke with the nun. She doesn’t mind if we perform in here, as long as we keep weapons, fire, and stories about war out of the picture. We’ll coordinate with the local troupe and see if we can’t keep a little something going most of the day.”

They enlisted a group of citizens to help feed the palace group when dinner came around, and they shared the plan during the meal. One more night resting where they were, and then in the morning they’d send people to carry them out to the church for a time.

The sultan refused. “Sleep in the church in the middle of a crowd of...No, we wouldn’t want to take away that space from our good citizens. We’ll sleep in our room. You can come wake us in the morning.”

Sylvando held a neutral expression for a moment, then smiled. “Of course, Your Majesty. We wouldn’t want your poor old bones to start aching from sleeping on the floor, now would we?”

“Old...” The sultan interrupted himself mid-exclamation and cleared his throat. “That’s not it at all. You understand, I’m only doing this for the good of my people.”

“And you will make quite an impression with your generosity. A good ruler leads by example, I always say.”

“Ah...Quite right. Quite right.”

  


* * *

  


By the end of the day, Serena was tired, but maintained a cautious optimism. They’d not needed to use a single potion. She even had a respectable pool of magic left over. Maybe people were not exactly thriving, but they weren’t suffering too badly. People in the church were able to summon the energy to work on small handicrafts or watch whoever was on entertainment duty, which so far had involved solo juggling, coin and card tricks, lively music and sing-alongs to children’s songs, and locals taking turns reading aloud from an adventure novel.

They could handle two weeks of this, she thought, even before she snuck off for a few private moments with Sylvando.

“You’re not impressed with the sultan right now, are you?” she asked him.

“Far be it from me to criticize a sultan." Sylvando shrugged. "After my papi's little talk, I feel like I shouldn't quite risk offending sitting rulers to the point they never speak to me again, and he doesn't seem even as receptive as Faris. Anyway, with that attitude, I don’t see that bringing him among his people is going to do them much good.”

Serena laughed. “You just criticized a sultan.”

“Oh, dear. Don’t tell anyone.”

“I don’t know. You might have to distract me so I forget what I heard.” She tilted her face up expectantly. He smiled and stepped closer to oblige.

  


* * *

  


On the third day, Serena woke to the sound of someone coughing.

She followed the sound to its source, a young woman. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” Serena inquired.

“I’ve been better.”

Serena discovered that the other woman had been coughing since the day before, and feverish since the middle of the night. She cast the little spell she’d learned in Lonalulu to encourage disease resistance, encouraged her to drink lots of water, and went to find Zel.

“We’ll probably have more people coughing by tomorrow,” agreed the doctor. “We’ve crowded everyone together with a sick person, and I think there is a good chance this curse will weaken our bodies’ resistance to illness due to the exhaustion.”

“Should we send people home?”

“No. I think it’s too late to stop it from catching, and it will be easier to take care of people when we know where they are and they can wake up and take fluids on their own. We should just move the sick ones upstairs for now and try to keep them partly separated from the rest of the group.”

“We can keep families together, though, right?”

“Yes. That is important to people. You can tell them that.”

  


* * *

  


At the beginning of the fourth day, a few more people were coughing. Serena took it on herself to act as spokeswoman for their little medical team, standing in the front of the room and explaining the quarantine strategy. The number of faces pointed in her direction once again made her a little bit uneasy for a moment, but she reminded herself that she knew what she was talking about, that everyone deserved to hear the plan from a qualified healer, and that Zel had declared outright that she wouldn’t do it. Besides, she’d already come face to face with most of the people in here as she helped hand out food on the first day, and everyone already knew her from her harp magic, so it wasn’t quite like performing for a crowd of complete strangers.

In the afternoon, Faris approached Serena while she was checking on a young patient. “Serene! I want to—”

“It’s Serena,” interrupted the child.

“Hush!” hissed the girl’s mother.

“What? It is!”

“I’m so sorry, Your Highness,” said the woman, bowing her head. Then she whispered to her child, “That’s the prince! Mind your manners!”

Serena curled her fingers in front of her mouth, trying to hide her smile.

“Ah, yes, Serena?” Faris looked at her a little uncertainly, then straightened and resumed his confident stance. “I’m going to try to do something about the shard.”

“Oh. What do you have in mind?”

“Well, we thought since keeping it in a closed room helps limit the effects, we should put it into a box, and that will help even more.”

She tilted her head. “That’s...not a bad idea. You want my help for the resistance magic, I assume?”

“Exactly.”

They assembled a team: Faris to open the door, two of his personal guards carrying the wooden box, and one more guard standing by with Sylvando and Grey to man the rescue lines in case the expedition needed to be pulled back.

Serena cast her spells, then clenched her teeth against the feel of the shard as the first three men charged, opened the door, and disappeared into the room.

“There it is! Get it in the box!”

“It’s stuck in the corner. The box won’t…”

“Here, just…”

“Don’t! I mean, Highness, are you sure you should touch it?”

“I, I wasn’t going to. Give me your sword.”

“Not feeling so good.”

“Still won’t move. It’s really stuck.”

“Okay, just...lean the box against it?”

“Right.”

A clatter and a thud.

“Hey! Are you...He’s down. Highness...”

“Ugh. We have to try. Help me.” Some scraping noises. Then a further racket, followed by silence.

“Your Highness?” called the guard standing by with the ropes, anxiously. 

There was no response from inside, and Sylvando said, “I think they went down for their nap. We’d better try and pull them out.”

The rope crew went to work. Serena winced as the first guard got stuck in the doorway, bent at the waist with his legs still stuck inside, but they shifted the angle of the rope and gently tugged until he came free. They pulled the other two outside with less difficulty, though Serena clenched her hands watching the unconscious men scrape against the door frame and bump their heads sliding over the threshold.

Finally, they pulled the last rope to close the door, dampening the magical pressure, and all of the upright team members sagged with relief before they went to retrieve the afflicted.

Sylvando woke Faris so they could ask what had happened in partial privacy before they went back inside. The prince looked up blearily.

“No luck, darling?”

Faris sighed. “Not really. Now there is a box on the floor next to the shard, because the shard was stuck against the walls and the floor. We couldn’t even lever it off or get the box to cover any of it. I guess it was a stupid idea. Risked my men for nothing.”

“It wasn’t a stupid idea, Highness. It didn’t work, but at least we know we won’t feel silly a week from now for not even having tried it. Being a knight isn’t always about winning, you know. Sometimes it’s about trying your best idea, even if it might not work out. I’m impressed you stuck with it until you couldn’t, darling.”

“Oh.” The prince still looked drained, but he nodded, got to his feet, and stumbled toward the church under his own power.

  


* * *

  


By the end of the day, Serena felt like half the people in the church were coughing.

“Eighteen people,” Zel corrected her. She showed Serena her notebook. She’d started keeping notes to track who had gotten sick at what times, and she had a chart ready to track what severity of symptoms they had each day.

  


* * *

  


On the fifth morning, Serena took her wand along when she made the rounds to cast her daily disease resistance spell on each person showing symptoms, along with herself, Zel, and Sylvando, as the most critical care team.

Serena moved on, taking the time to chat with each patient for a moment or two while she was there. Zel was excellent at studying symptoms, finding patterns in data, and coming up with solutions to problems, and Serena was getting used to her habit of never making eye contact with anyone, but several of their patients confided to Serena that they found Zel’s bedside manner a little intimidating. “Well, she’s an excellent doctor, so make sure to listen to whatever she does tell you,” Serena defended her.

“Hey, Fairy Godmother,” croaked Francine, among the afflicted. “I think I’m turning into a frog. You got anything for that?”

“I’ll have Maria boil water for another tisane in a few minutes. Any other wishes?”

“Yeah. I’ll take a million gold and a small kingdom.”

“I’ll try to get back to you next month.”

Then she noticed a rash on a young boy’s face. “Oh, dear. How long has that been going on?” she asked the boy’s mother.

“It, um, it just started,” the woman said. Serena looked at the number of spots on the boy, then levelled another look on the mother. “A, a couple of days ago. Please don’t send us out of the church! I don’t know what to do if I can’t wake him up.”

Serena sighed. “We’re not going to send you away. But I’d like to move you over to the corner, please. Have you been to Gondolia recently, by chance?”

“Yes, we traveled back with a caravan a few days before this started.”

“There was a minor pox going around the children, there. This looks like a little bit worse of a case, but he should get through it all right. Has he been spending time with the other children since he got back?”

"Well, yes. Right before the curse, he went to a party when we got home from our trip."

Serena sighed a second time. She offered care advice to the mother, cast a booster spell on the boy, located the families of his friends to move them to the edge of the room as well, and went to inform Zel of the new development.

  


* * *

  


That evening, Serena decided to try experimenting with letting her harp spell fade in case she needed to push her magical limits later on. Some healthy members of the circus troupes were running improvisational acting games, coaxing various citizens into joining in together with more experienced performers, and Serena observed a respectable presence of smiles and laughter from the watching crowd. So if there was a good time to let the protection wear off besides the nighttime while almost everyone was sleeping, this was probably it.

“That was wonderful, darlings. Okay! Let’s do another local game next. Why don’t you explain the rules for the art one. Gallery?” Sylvando, coordinating the proceedings, prompted a woman from the local troupe.

“Right!” She nudged the man sitting next to her and leapt to her feet. “For Gallery, we’ll want a volunteer to play Lecturer, and one more volunteer to join the two of us here as Subjects. The three of us who are Subjects will move into position to form a scene for a painting, and the Lecturer will explain what our painting is about. When the explanation is done, the Lecturer walks in front of the painting and that’s our cue to move to form a new painting for another explanation. We’re done after three paintings. Who are our volunteers?”

Sylvando stepped into the audience and coaxed forward a young man for Lecturer and a matronly woman for the third Subject, gave them an encouraging smile, and sat down on the sidelines while the scene began.

“Okay. This painting is called, hmm, Invention of the Sleeping Potion. You can see the satisfaction of the alchemist sitting down after a long day of work, and the apprentice on whom she tested her potion laying face down on the floor there. Then there is the other man leaning on her shoulder, which is her colleague who is plotting to take credit for her work.”

This got some smiles and a little laughter from the crowd, and Serena saw Sylvando nod approvingly and wave a hand to cue the next scene. The Lecturer walked across the stage and the Subjects shifted.

Serena felt her spell wear off. The idea of a colleague usurping a discovery suddenly became less amusing, and she felt a little bad for the hypothetical alchemist.

The Subjects ended up leaning on each other with exaggeratedly sad expressions. The Lecturer stared at them for a long moment, then glanced at the audience, suddenly burst into tears, and exclaimed, “I can’t do this!” He ran out of the church.

Sylvando leapt up and ran after him. “Wait, sweetheart! It’s all right!”

The nearby audience members wore a mixture of worried and embarrassed expressions, and the young performer who had explained the game started leaking tears herself. “It’s my fault,” she said, standing in the middle of the mock painting, and her two companions patted her on her shoulders, looking more genuinely distraught themselves.

Serena bit her lip and picked up her harp, feeling guilty. She refreshed the spell and started for the door, worried about Sylvando and the young volunteer, but they staggered back through the doorway, Sylvando with an arm around the errant performer, smiling sympathetically and speaking softly to him.

Meanwhile, Samir stood up in the Lecturer’s space. “Sorry about that, folks. This painting depicts a scene from the family history of the previous Lecturer. He comes from a long line of talented goldsmiths, and this image is of the day that his aunt was cast out of the family for deciding to follow her dream of becoming a silversmith. It was a dark day for all of them.”

This restored some of the smiles to the audience, but Serena felt that there was still an undercurrent of worry, and she resolved not to let the spell wear off again after that except when she slept. The slight but unrelenting emotional weight of the shard was bad enough while her magic was in full effect.

  


* * *

  


On the sixth day, Serena started a dry cough.

“Oh, no. You too, darling?” asked Sylvando.

“What do you mean, me too? You, too?”

“Afraid so. Well, at least there’s no big nasty dragon we have to go try to intimidate while we have the sniffles.”

She did her best to keep her hands clean and her coughing restrained while she visited with patients. At least she had set a routine the previous day, so she didn’t have to spend much time planning what to do at what times.

Four more children turned up with spots. Zel predicted that their siblings were already exposed and might as well be quarantined as well, so their families expanded the “pox corner” along the wall under the stairs.

Zel sat down with Serena for dinner and shared her notes for their patients. “We’re up to forty-one with symptoms. No one’s getting better yet. It’s still early, but tentatively speaking, it looks like the illness could take a little longer and get worse over time than a normal flu, despite your magic.”

Serena noticed Zel’s name next to Sylvando’s and her own at the bottom of the page and pursed her lips. She made a mental note to try and recruit some other civilians to be trained in basic nursing duties, in case the team of healers became unable to care for everyone all day. But she worried. If symptoms were worsening through the population, they might not all be able to afford to sit back and rest.

By the end of the day, Serena felt drained. Her sleep was uneasy and she kept halfway waking up throughout the night.

  


* * *

  


On the seventh morning, she arose feverish and achy and sore in her throat.

Worse, her magical energy wasn’t fully restored.

“Darling, maybe you should sleep in,” suggested Sylvando, hoarse himself.

“Can’t. No one else.” She lurched up and went for her harp and wand.

A number of the patients were in noticeably worse shape, wheezing or even coughing blood, to the point that she worried they were in danger from poor breathing. Serena conferred with Zel, and after much deliberation, she decided to try her smallest healing spell on them, at the risk of extending their illness. At least they would be able to breathe more easily while they rested. She did her best to carefully target the chest area, the way she’d targeted a small area for surgery in Puerto Valor, hoping that it would help limit the downsides of the process, even though focusing it that way used as much magical energy as a larger healing spell. 

“No! No!” A child’s cry caught Serena’s attention, and she hurried to investigate.

She found a girl tossing and turning, her eyelids fluttering halfway open. Her father was smoothing her hair and murmuring softly to her.

“What’s going on?” Serena asked.

“I don’t know. I think she’s having nightmares, but she won’t properly wake up.”

Serena knelt and touched her forehead. “She’s much too warm. Likely fever dreams. Let me try a spell.”

The girl settled down quickly after the small healing magic touched her, and Serena moved on.

Some of the other children appeared to have both the pox and the flu together. She instructed their parents to monitor them closely, to make sure that they were able to wake up regularly and be responsive, and she and Zel made a point to check on them several times a day. Lena had the children’s pox, now, and Mateo sat with her, face lined with empathy for his daughter’s discomfort, though he managed a small smile when Serena came to look in on them.

By now, there were so many people sick that they wouldn’t fit together with their families in the upstairs space. No one on the medical team liked the idea of sending sick people out of the church, so Serena began asking for healthy volunteers to give up their space every other day to ensure no one was stuck sleeping in the palace the whole time.

  


* * *

  


Serena went through fifteen vials of magic water that day. The box had thirteen vials remaining.

Her nose began to run by the end of the day, and she still felt feverish, and she knew her sleep would be worse than the prior night at this rate. Her supply of magic was likely to run out after a couple more days of this.

She bit her lip, thinking, and then used the last of her magic to heal herself. A general, moderate healing spell this time, not the minimal targeted one she was using on her patients. She felt her aches fade away, her throat soothed, her sinuses cleared. She gave a cough to make sure her lungs were clear, gave her nose a good blow, and she felt like new. For now.

  


* * *

  


On the eighth morning, she felt like she had when she woke up on day six. Relatively well-rested, full of magic, and only a tiny cough to remind her of what was still waiting for her.

“Darling, you’re looking better,” Sylvando told her, hoarse and a little stuffy. “I’m glad.”

She gave him a quick smile and fled off to her duties before she had to admit that it was likely a temporary reprieve. But she could wait to properly fight off her own illness if it meant she could be more successful at helping the people depending on her.

She went back to check on the girl with the fever dreams in the afternoon. “How is she?”

“She’s gotten worse again,” said the father. “She was better through the night, but I think she’s even worse than before, now.”

Serena frowned. This was consistent with the notion that the healing would only delay the symptoms, not prevent them. “Let’s try some other things to bring the fever down a bit. Let me fetch some water and cloths.”

She ended up bringing Sylvando to wake the girl so they could try a fever reducing medicine.

“I need you to finish the whole thing, okay?” Serena coaxed.

“No. It’s icky.”

“I know, but it will help you sleep better.”

“Don’t wanna sleep. Monster will come back.”

“Well, if you drink the icky drink, the monster won’t want to eat you, because you’ll taste icky to the monster, won’t you? Better drink the whole thing and make sure it tastes really icky, just to be sure.”

The girl frowned at the medicine, but she stopped resisting. Serena handed the empty cup to Sylvando and caught him smiling at her.

She sat with the girl for a while longer, waiting to make sure the fever went down, before she left the father with instructions for further care.

By the end of the day, Serena’s own fever returned as well, and she felt noticeably worse than she had when she’d healed herself the first time. But she had enough magic to cast a new healing spell on herself, so she did.

  


* * *

  


Sylvando woke her in the middle of the night. “Can you come check on the elders again? Breathing troubles.”

She followed by the light of his candle to the space where some of the worst-off elderly patients were resting.

The candlelight shimmered across the face of a younger woman who held the hand of a wrinkled, wizened old woman. The younger woman looked up at their approach.

“Grandmother’s already gone,” she said softly.

“But...It’s only been minutes,” said Sylvando, stricken.

Serena knelt next to her. “Let me try a Zing and see if she comes back.”

“A what?”

“A spell that can bring back the spirit, if it hasn’t moved on yet.”

“Oh...You can try, but…”

Serena cast her magic, but the grandmother lay still. She cast again, with the same lack of a result.

The granddaughter shook her head. “She’s been in pain for months, and it’s only been worse these past days. She kept trying to prepare us for this to happen. I don’t think her spirit would have stayed here.” Her voice broke on the last words, and she swiped a hand over her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Another nearby elder interrupted with a noisy coughing fit, then croaked out, “For the record, I don’t want you to give up on me so easy, Doctor. Keep me up and kicking as long as you can. Are you going to fix my lungs again?”

Serena pressed her lips together and nodded. She stood and looked at Sylvando, who looked as distraught as she felt. “Can you...I think the nun will know what to…” She inclined her head toward the grieving granddaughter.

He took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes. I’ll take care of them. You move on to the others.”

She bent to attend to the other elderly and struggling patients, erring on the side of caution and casting the targeted healing to improve breathing for all ten of them. Even though the focused spells burned more of her magic reserves than she was comfortable with now that she wasn’t sure she would sleep again that night. Even though it might set back their time to complete recovery. But she flinched at the thought of losing another patient tonight.

The nun approached her as she finished. “Can you bring your harp? We need a private space to prepare her body, and there’s no room here.”

Serena tried her best to play her harp softly, so as not to wake the room. Few people stirred in reaction. But then, given the widespread illness and the dense crowd of people trying to sleep, there was never true silence anyway. Someone was always coughing or snoring nearby.

Serena and Sylvando trailed after the small contingent of locals moving to a nearby house with the grandmother’s body. But the nun shooed both of them back onto the street. “Healer, go back to your rest. Sylvando, thank you for your help, but this next part will be done by women.”

The candles lit outside the church and the moon overhead cast enough light for Serena to exchange an unhappy look with Sylvando.

“I should have eased her breathing during my last evening stop,” Serena said quietly.

Sylvando shook his head. “It happened under my watch. Maybe if I’d moved a little quicker...”

Serena shook her head as well. “She had someone sitting with her the whole time. If she went that fast, it would have been hard to do anything about it unless I was there right when it happened.”

She sighed, then stepped in to lean against him. He held still for a moment, then pressed his face against the top of her head and put his arms around her.

“You know, more than one healer has tried to warn me about this,” she said, eyes stinging. “The fact that I won’t manage to save everyone. I realize it’s not reasonable or right to expect to hold back death from everyone in the world, forever. But I don’t much care for it going this way in practice.”

“Me neither.” Sylvando took a deep breath, pulled away when that triggered a cough, and then he nodded and straightened his shoulders with a determined expression. The effect was not quite spoiled by the fact that he had to breathe through his mouth. “But we’ve done a lot. You’ve been keeping a lot of very sick people much better off than they would be, otherwise. You’ve been pushing yourself to do it, too. I can tell. You’re doing your best. We all are. We’ll keep doing our best. When this is all over, we can be sad about what we’ve lost, but we won’t need to have regrets.”

Serena looked up at him, and her face still felt cramped with unhappiness, but she felt a little piece of a smile fight its way through. She touched the side of his face, unable to come up with reassuring words of her own outside the house where her patient lay dead, but hoping her appreciation came across anyway.

“I’m going to have to try and sleep some more,” she said instead. “Or I won’t have enough magic tomorrow.”

Sylvando nodded. “I’ll sit with you for a little while,” he offered.

She returned to her pallet and laid down. Let Sylvando take her hand. The sense that she’d failed kept trying to flood her mind, until she thought to herself: yes. I lost a fight. But there are more to be saved. I won’t lose again, not if I can possibly help it.

Then she focused only on Sylvando’s thumb stroking over the back of her hand, and on keeping her breathing slow, until she managed to fall asleep after all.

  


* * *

  


In the morning, the nun directed the funeral proceedings. The ceremony made the building feel once again like a church for a little while, rather than an emergency shelter, but the event left the crowd even more somber and anxious than the days prior.

Serena clung to her best calm confidence and doled out sympathy and reassurance as she made the rounds to check on her patients and boost disease resistance for her high priority targets: the sickest patients, parents and other dedicated caregivers who had yet to become sick while tending to their loved ones, and then those who were finally showing escalating symptoms for the first time. She wished she had enough energy to safely cast it on everyone.

But at least some of the first patients were finally showing improvement.

“Hey, Serena! Guess what!” said Francine.

“What is it?”

“I can breathe through my nose right now!” The performer gave a seated bow with a flourish of her hand.

“Oh. Congratulations! I always knew you could do it.”

“Sheesh, what does it take to impress you, anyway?”

The banter made her smile, but the amusement cracked her calm and a fresh trickle of guilt threatened to become a flood, so she made an excuse to move on to another part of the room, taking deep breaths along the way and focusing once again on her determination to do better.

  


* * *

  


In the late afternoon, she found a few minutes to sit next to Sylvando while he slept. She could just make out the sound of his breath crackling a little when she leaned close enough to hear past the ambient noise of the crowd. She closed her eyes and put a hand over her mouth for a minute, hoping the people nearby would take her expression as tired or thoughtful instead of as an effort to hide the sudden fear that was making her second guess herself.

She wouldn’t interfere with any other patient at this stage. This was a common symptom and not really anything to be concerned with, yet. Healing him now might well do more harm than good in the long run, and it wasn’t critical for him to have his full capacity of magical energy from a comfortable night’s rest.

But part of her wanted to do it anyway, just to see him strong and comfortable and lively and very obviously not remotely near dying.

She restrained herself and instead only watched him for a little while before waking him up.

  


* * *

  


"Hello, darlings. Your old pal Sylv is here to nag you again." He slapped a hand against the first horse's shoulder in time with his magic, and then the other horse. "Time to filly your belly."

Serena grinned while she set down her harp and went to move some hay. “Didn’t you already use nag on the second day?”

“Oh, dear. Did I? It’s hard to keep track with all of this weighing down my head,” he said, gesturing vaguely at his nose.

“Honestly, I’m just impressed it took you this long to repeat yourself.”

“Well, it’s just as well that most of the horses ran off when this started. Otherwise I’d have been entirely boring by now.”

“You’re never boring, Sylv. Even when you’re asleep.”

He flashed her a smile as he joined her in filling the manger. “Well. That’s good to know.”

“Think the sultan’s going to come to the church today?”

“Nope. I think he’s going to hear how stuffy I am, and he’ll throw me out of the room as soon as he can. At this point, maybe it’s just as well. People don’t need a nervous ruler bossing them around.”

“They do already have Faris.”

“I think he’s been a net positive. His early complaints when he got sick went over like a slime in a salon, but after Francine chewed him out, it seemed to actually sink in that he was surrounded by people sicker than he was, and he started thinking about how to endure in a bit more of a heroic, knightly fashion.”

“Francine chewed him out? I missed that.”

“It was perfectly executed. A pretty girl, hoarse and pitiful, suddenly looming over him and spitting fire and fury. Not the way things usually go for him, I think.”

Serena frowned. “Usually...A pretty girl?”

Sylvando glanced at her. “Sorry. Is it rude of me to say that about other women?”

“Hmm? Oh. No, Francine is practically as beautiful as you are. I know I’m not in the running there. But I was thinking about those noblemen in Heliodor.” She registered the complicated series of expressions flashing across his face too late to slow down and try to spend more time drawing out the smile, so she just barged forward. “Do you think Faris is, um. Respectful?”

Sylvando went blank for a moment, then frowned and said, “I’ll see if I can’t have a little chat with him before we leave town. I haven’t caught wind of anything bad, but it might be good for him to have a little nudge in the right direction, just in case.”

They walked nearly to the palace steps before he spoke up again. “I can’t think of any good way to gracefully change the subject from that topic, but I don’t want to not say anything. I think you are quite beautiful, Serena. There is a part of me that might be jealous of your beauty, except that you just called me beautiful, so I’m much too busy being flattered and vain, instead.”

Serena laughed, feeling startled and flattered herself. “If Veronica has taught me anything, it’s that I should be careful about inflating people’s egos. But I won’t lie. I’m pretty sure you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I’d be content to do nothing but look at you for days.”

“I see. Now I understand why I’m still entertaining while I’m sleeping.”

“I’m afraid so. I’m a shallow woman.”

“That’s acceptable.”

  


* * *

  


The visit to wake up, feed, and magically boost the royal couple went about as well as expected. Serena managed a pleasant smile and a few words of reassurance, ignoring her mild irritation with their manners and the fact that her own sore throat was escalating again.

They'd found it was more efficient to wake the large group of sleepers and let them walk to the church under their own power so that their replacements could spend as much time as possible in the church before submitting themselves to the curse. This process also made it easy to tell when they'd taken care of everyone, because the room would be empty when they finished.

Today, Sylvando only managed to wake two thirds of the sleepers before he ran out of magical energy, so they enacted their contingency plan of enlisting volunteers to carry back the remaining sleepers.

As they followed the last stragglers out of the palace, Sylvando paused at the top of the steps. “Ah. I think maybe I’d like to take a minute here, if you aren’t in too much of a rush.” Serena looked at him in curiosity, then concern, as he stepped back into the shade of a pillar and sat down with his back to it.

“Are you all right?”

“I think so. I just felt exhausted all of a sudden when we stepped back into the heat.” He looked up at her. “How are you doing? It seems like you’re cured.”

“Um. I’m not, exactly, but I’m doing okay right now,” she hedged. “It’ll probably be worse later.”

“Well, if you’re not suffering too badly, I’m glad.” He smiled at her, and she made an effort to return it briefly.

“Are you going to be okay to walk back? I could go for help,” she offered.

“I think I’m all right. Probably better get moving before I fall asleep here, though.” He accepted a hand and leaned against the pillar to get back to his feet.

“Maybe you should sleep when we get back,” Serena said. “You haven’t needed your magic to wake me up, right? Someone else can take the night watch.”

He nodded. “Grey and Chill are still healthy, or they were yesterday, and they’ve been helping me a bit.”

“Right. And we can probably get a couple more night volunteers from the rest of the volunteer nurse brigade. They’ve been doing fine with noticing problem symptoms while they’re refilling drinks.” She pushed away the thought that a reasonably attentive presence already hadn’t been enough to save everyone. She needed sleep, and she needed Sylvando to sleep, and she was just going to have to trust in other people to do their best.

  


* * *

  


Sylvando had lately been taking over her sleeping space when she finished with it, but tonight, when she brought a fresh blanket and pillow, their neighbors obligingly shifted a little bit so that she could lay down next to him.

She glanced around the room. Though Gallopolis wasn’t the most demonstrative city in normal conditions, the lines of decorum had begun to blur in favor of comfort. Families huddled together. A number of wives slept with their heads on their husbands’ shoulders. Some elders would stare and cluck their tongues from time to time at this display, but it wasn’t enough to stop it from happening.

Just laying down next to Sylvando in public felt rather daring to her, though when he suffered a coughing fit, she wanted badly to hold him. To offer what comfort she could. To reassure herself that he was there and, if not well, at least alive.

She compromised by adjusting their blankets to overlap and sneaking her hand underneath to find his, so she could fall asleep holding his hand.

  


* * *

  


Sylvando obediently spent most of the next day in bed. “You’ll spoil me,” he said when she brought him lunch. “Waiting on me hand and foot.”

“Mmhmm. All you have to do to earn this treatment is become miserably sick. Now drink this first.” She handed over the medicinal tisane of the day, which was popularly judged to be a little more potent and a little more foul tasting than previous batches.

“Ah, some more of your finest spirits. Shall I sip it and savor it?”

“I wouldn’t recommend that, but it’s your choice.”

She noticed him glancing from the corner of his eye at a nearby group of teens idly watching them before he sat up and drained the mug. “Mm. Delicious. Could I have a refill?”

Serena pressed her lips together in an attempt to suppress her smile and avoid ruining his act. “Maybe later. If you’re a good patient.”

“I will be the most patient patient.”

She returned to her work, checking on Zel next, who was nearly as sick as Sylvando. She obediently listened to Zel’s instructions and took up her notebook, promising to record further data about the state of their patients.

As she chatted with other patients, Serena considered making small talk about the unusual heat of the day wearing her out, but she decided it wasn’t terribly helpful for a healer to be anything other than positive or serene in this situation.

Then she coughed, and she realized it wasn’t the heat. Her symptoms were kicking in more strongly and earlier in the day. She was feverish and her throat was sore again. It was barely midafternoon.

She made an effort to tough it out for a few hours. Then she sat down for a rest, feeling achy and exhausted and stuffy. But after only a few moments, a girl ran up to her.

“Healer Serena! My mama says my brother needs you right away!”

She nodded and stood up, and she felt the world spin a little. She frowned. Sighed. Cast another healing spell for herself. Felt her physical discomfort fade away. Tried not to think about what this meant for her eventual reckoning with this illness.

But the boy was in bad shape. He was one of the young ones with the pox and the flu together, and he was visibly struggling to breathe. Serena did her most careful, targeted, precise healing, trying to get him into a reasonably safe state without undoing more of his body’s defense mechanisms than she had to, and after finishing work that required such careful concentration, she felt that healing herself first was surely the right decision.

  


* * *

  


On the eleventh day of the Curse of the Shards, as people had taken to calling it, Sylvando slept until late morning, but afterwards, he professed himself to be feeling much better. “I’ve slept so much, I think I can probably take up night duty again tonight.” He glanced at Serena’s face, then amended, “Maybe. If nothing changes. I’ll get your approval, first, great honorable healer of mine.”

Serena felt her mood lifted over the course of the day as she kept seeing Sylvando up and about. She spotted him entertaining the children in the pox corner.

“I can juggle anything, as long as it’s not too heavy. What would you like me to juggle?”

“Dirty handkerchiefs!” exclaimed one of the children, holding out one in each fist.

“No, thank you!” Sylvando said, laughing. “I’ll do clean ones, though, if you like. How many?” He made a fist of an empty hand and did some trick to pull a handkerchief out of it with his other hand.

“Four! No, three!” said the child, possibly too young for number comparisons.

“Five,” said another girl, shy but smiling.

“Okay. I’ll start with three and work my way up to five.” He began a sort of an inverted juggling routine Serena hadn’t seen before, lifting and dropping the handkerchiefs, and snatching them out of the air when they floated low enough. He materialized the promised additional handkerchiefs from thin air in the middle of his performance, adding them into the mix almost too quickly to see.

The children watched, rapt, and so did most of the room, for that matter. Serena supposed she might be biased, but she felt that the mood of the crowd was better than it had been in days and that it had a lot to do with The Great Sylvando walking among them again.

She mostly managed to maintain her optimism despite needing to attend to a dozen or so patients in the danger zone, and in spite of the fact that she had to heal herself immediately after lunchtime.

  


* * *

  


On the twelfth day, she had to heal herself three times during the day, and it didn’t entirely cure her fatigue. But it was enough to let her do her job. Although some of the worst-off patients had gotten a bit better, the total number of patients she considered to be at high risk had passed two dozen.

On the thirteenth day, she healed herself five times. Sylvando noticed her coughing in the afternoon, but he didn’t say anything until that evening.

“I was worried you might be relapsing, darling, but it seems like you’re doing better now. Do you need anything?”

“I’m all right for the moment.” She thought about telling him about her healing and her worsening illness. But she was exhausted, and she didn’t feel up to having that conversation right now. She didn’t want to admit aloud that there might be a problem, because then she’d have to think about it, and she didn’t want to acknowledge the fear that kept trying to creep in around the edges of her resolve.

When he woke her in the middle of the night, she had a lengthy coughing fit. “Sorry,” she whispered, self-conscious about the noise, even though so many people did the same thing during the night that everyone had developed the ability to tune it out. She caught a frown from Sylvando, but she asked, “Where to?” and he turned to lead her to the patient of the moment.

Afterwards, she pled a need for the ladies’ room for the sake of a private moment to heal herself once more before returning to bed, in order to make sure her magic would still be properly restored in the morning.

  


* * *

  


On the fourteenth morning, Sylvando had to wake her up with his magic.

She woke up coughing into his face. “Ugh. Sorry.”

“Darling, you’re not getting better, are you? You’re getting worse.” His mouth was turned down, and he pressed her hand between both of his.

She fuzzily thought about it, now too groggy to bother with trying to deceive herself or anyone else. She’d healed herself in the middle of the night, hadn’t she? And her symptoms were clearly getting worse. Beyond just the severity of her fever, aches, and fatigue, she felt like an entire slime monster had leapt up her nose and crawled into her lungs. It seemed as if her body was trying to deploy every defense at once when it thought she wasn’t looking rather than waiting for the usual progression through the illness.

“Doesn’t matter. Almost done. Three more days?” she wheezed.

“Two, if we’re lucky. Zel told me you’ve been cautious about how much you heal some of the patients because it slows down the time it takes for them to fully resist the disease. Have you been healing yourself as well?”

She coughed again. “Had to. Wasn’t getting back enough magic sleeping without. We don’t have enough potions.”

“I had to try twice before I could get you to wake up.”

“Sorry. What time’s it?”

“An hour past dawn.”

“What? I better go.” It took her two tries to sit up, and then she listed to the side, dizzy.

Sylvando reached to steady her. “Serena…”

“Ngh. Hang on.” She focused, hard, and cast another healing spell for herself.

“Did you just do it again?” he asked sharply.

She coughed and found her handkerchief. “Yes.”

“Is that going to help you survive?” His words held a little bit of an edge, and though she felt physically mostly better, she felt a pulse of guilt.

“It’s not about that. I’ll pay for it later. Already paying for the last week.” She looked down. “I think the magical healing mostly just clears away the body’s natural defenses, and meanwhile the disease itself gets stronger,” she admitted. “So at some point I’ll have to try and ride it out without any magic.”

“You…”

“But I can’t do anything if I’m stuck in bed.”

“Serena! You can’t do anything if you—” Sylvando cut himself off sharply. Then he continued very softly, “I got to have a conversation with Zel this morning about what we’ll do if...if you’re not able to help at all anymore. If you...” He fell silent, mouth pressed into a thin line.

Serena watched him for a long moment, and then finished quietly, “If I don’t survive.”

He looked at her, and her heart hurt to see the misery written across him. But…

“Sylv, if I could save thirty lives at the cost of my own, would you ask me not to?”

He looked away at that and pressed his hand over his mouth.

Hesitantly, she reached to touch his shoulder, felt the tension in him. “Sorry. It may not come to that. I hope it won’t. But...I’m sorry. I can’t turn away. There are children down there, Sylv.”

He closed his eyes and took a long moment of stillness, then sighed. He reached out and pulled her into his arms, sitting there in sight of the whole room, and she didn’t care about the audience at all. She put her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his shoulder.

“Sorry.”

“No, love.” His voice was still strained and sad, but his hand was gentle and warm in her hair. “Don’t apologize for your principles. Just promise me that you’ll try to find another way.”

“I promise. I’ll try, Sylv.”

She let him hold her for a little while, then gently pulled away. “I’d better go do what needs doing. I’ll try to stop and rest when the spell starts wearing off.”

“All right. Tell me if I can help.”

“You should get some rest, yourself.”

“I’ll do my best. Wake me before you sleep.”

She headed downstairs. They’d given up on quarantines since over half of the people had become sick. Most of the first patients were finally improving. She smiled to see Francine up and about, helping to distribute water to the other patients now.

Serena made it through her daily spells and then an early lunch with Francine and Chill before the illness caught up with her again, pressing down on her like a weighted blanket. Francine gave her a sharp look when she started swaying where she sat. The acrobat tried to help her stand up, then shook her head and picked Serena up in her arms.

“Come on, Fairy Godmother. Time to go visit Fairy Godfather.” She carried her up the stairs and stopped next to the space where Sylvando was resting. “Hey, Sylv. Wake up. I brought you a visitor.” Francine balanced on one foot and nudged Sylvando in the shoulder with the other. Serena saw him blink awake and then widen his eyes as Francine leaned down to deposit Serena on top of him. He caught and steadied her in his arms.

“Is she all right? Are you all right, Serena?”

“Tired,” she mumbled, too tired to care about impropriety. It felt good to lay against him, let him hold her.

She woke up to his lips on her forehead, still lying in his arms. “‘Zat magic?” she mumbled. Coughed.

“I didn’t care for slapping you, so I figured out another method. Time for some soup, okay?”

“‘Kay.”

He shifted, helped her sit up, took a bowl of soup from Maria, and held it for her while she ate. Put her harp in her hands so she could refresh the resistance. Helped her lay down again.

“I’m going to have to make my rounds, wake up the sleepers for dinner. Is there anything else you need right now?”

“‘M fine. Go.”

The rest of the night passed less easily. The always-present pull of exhaustion and apprehension from the shard felt stronger than ever as she bounced in and out of uneasy dreams and woke up too hot, too cold, too stuffy, too thirsty. Sylvando was there the third time she woke up, and he kept giving her water or bitter medicinal drinks whenever she opened her eyes. She knew better than to argue, and she drained each cup.

It was still dark when she heard voices. “Can she come?”

“I don’t know. I’m afraid she’ll…”

“What is it?” she wheezed. Coughed.

“A child is having trouble breathing,” came Zel’s voice.

“I’m tapped out, and the potions are gone,” murmured Sylvando.

Serena reflexively called up her magic to heal herself, then felt Sylvando’s hand touch hers, and she let the spell fizzle away. “Bring them here.”

She closed her eyes for a bare instant and then Sylvando was murmuring into her ear, “She’s here.”

She took a moment to remember what was happening. Then she reached out, found the child’s hand. Cast a little healing spell.

“Tell her to cough,” she mumbled.

“I know what to do from here, Serena,” said Zel. Serena let herself drift off again, vaguely aware of Sylvando laying a damp cloth across her brow.

  


* * *

  


Time passed in a confused jumble after that.

“We had to eat the horses, because we forgot to feed them,” she thought Sylvando said. Then, “We’re only bringing the high-risk patients for your booster. If you feel up to it.”

She had her wand in her hand, and she was casting the little disease resistance spell on person after person. Then she was summoning gold for Francine, and the other woman was laughing, laughing until she was covered in a pile so big she must be suffocating if not crushed, but Serena couldn’t stop the summoning. The pile covered Serena too and she choked and coughed as the coins went into her mouth.

Calasmos dug her up, ran a giant finger down her back, and took her wand away from her when she tried to cast a protective spell. “Shh,” he hissed. “It’s all right. Just rest now.” He’d eaten Sylvando and stolen his voice. She moaned in despair and collapsed.

She opened her eyes and saw Sylvando running a coin through his fingers, making it disappear and appear in his other hand. He met her eyes and closed his hand on the coin. “Darling, how are you feeling? Do you feel up to a little feel-good harp song?” She nodded agreeably, and he placed the harp in her hands, and she played the old, sad love song, her favorite, only her hand was in the wrong place so it was dreadfully out of key, and she tried to reposition but that was wrong too, and her arm was heavy.

“Not that one, love. The simple, magical one, for the shard.”

The shard. She thought about how the shard had caused so much sadness, how Calasmos was still trying to destroy them, and she called up her magic and plucked some strings and channeled her despair into the discordant sound. A great wailing rose up around her, dozens of people crying out, and someone trapped her hand against the strings.

“Not like that! The one that goes like this.” Sylvando hummed the simple four-note melody she’d invented in the desert, though he was just a little bit off key, and she suddenly smiled, loving the fact that he’d sing for her even if it wasn’t up to his public performance standards. She moved her hands and played the tiny song, putting her love into the magic this time, and the dismayed noise of the crowd subsided into a soft murmur. Her eyes drifted shut, but she felt at peace for a moment.

There was more soup. Vegetables and grains. Where were the horses? No one had left her any?

“Why did I leave my parasol?” she mumbled in the desert at high noon. “Going to burn to a crisp.”

“Drink more of this,” said Samir with Sylvando’s voice. “Please. Drink it all.”

“Have to save some,” she tried to say. “We’re not there yet.” But he made her drink the last of the water anyway, or maybe it was poison. Could water go bad? Then he poked a hole in the empty canteen with his knife.

“Another child needs help,” said Zel. Serena cast a spell. “All the children are dying.” She cast another. “They’re all dead.” Serena wept and tried to cast Zing. But Mordegon held her down and whispered, “No. No, Serena. It’s all right. Just sleep now.” She couldn’t fight him off, and her magic withered inside her forever and the leaves fell off Yggdrasil and the sun turned to ice and Veronica’s ghost came to scold her for cutting her hair too soon.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: not-quite-explicit-but-surely-mature sexual themes
> 
> WIP note: Chapter estimate is a little bit suspect, as is apparently that whole "update once a week" notion. (Sorry. Maybe next time I write a thing I'll only ever attempt to combine, say, two? complicated and sensitive subjects into the same chapter?)

Light was coming through the windows when Serena woke to Sylvando calling her name and touching her cheek, and he let her cough into his face again. “Sorry,” she gasped in between, and she covered her mouth and sat up to continue.

“She’s like a volcano erupting,” said Veronica.

“Veronica?” she got out with difficulty. “You’re not a ghost? You’re really here?”

“In the flesh, sister dear. I almost had to fireball Sylvando for not taking better care of you, you know. Still considering it.”

“Sorry. Not his fault.” Serena finished her coughing fit. She took some water from Sylvando. “Thank you.” She still couldn’t breathe through her nose, so she took several long swallows and gasped for breath in between.

“Feeling better today?” Sylvando asked.

“That was better?” asked Veronica incredulously.

“I think I lost most of yesterday,” Serena admitted. “The children, are the children okay?”

“Everyone’s fine,” Sylvando said.

She sighed in relief. “What an awful dream. But I’m so glad to see you, Veronica! Sorry, I’d hug you, but I’m sure I’m an awful mess and I’ll get you sick, too.”

“Don’t care. Come here.”

Obediently, Serena shifted and leaned over to embrace her sister.

Veronica gave her a hard squeeze, then said, “Yeah, you could do with a bath someday soon.”

“Thanks for the heads-up,” Serena said wryly.

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“Is El here too?”

“He went to find Rab, but they might be back by now.”

“Okay. Either way, I need the washroom. Right away.”

Sylvando and Veronica escorted her downstairs, but even though she still felt tired, she was steady enough on her feet. She saw a number of people weeping quietly, but a low murmur started at her appearance. Some folks sat up, and despite having to breathe through her mouth, Serena managed to briefly return a number of smiles as she walked through the crowd.

“Good to see you walking around, Godmother,” said Francine.

“You too,” said Serena, then realized her reply made little sense. “Er. Sorry, I had some weird dreams.”

Veronica went with her into the shared women’s room around the back of the building, which was miraculously empty of people at the moment. The diminutive mage cast a spell to warm a pitcher of water for her while she tended to her other business. Veronica leaned against the wall and stared idly at the ceiling when Serena came back to try and wash up with a small cloth.

“Sooo. I was right about everything? And you put that on paper with no context? It wasn’t even our birthday.”

The interrogation sent a tiny thrill of joy through Serena, a fresh reminder of the fact of Sylvando. “Uh huh.”

“What happened?”

She told her the highlights, starting from Gondolia with her not-quite-accidental “dancer” comment. Despite her sickness and the ever-present weight of the shard in the back of her mind, she felt a quiet happiness fill her at recounting the joyful moments to her sister.

Until she got to the recent days. “I really upset him, letting myself get so sick.” Suddenly dread spiked through her. What if she’d asked too much of him? If he felt he had to pull away to protect himself? She swayed and put a hand on the wall.

“Serena, are you all right?”

“I...oh. I need to get my harp. I haven’t played it yet today.”

“What?”

“I made a new spell to help ward off magical influences over time. If I don’t keep it going, that stupid shard makes every dark thought go twice as bad, or worse, on top of the exhaustion. Root and Branch, I hope El can fix it today.”

Sylvando waited directly outside, and as they returned to the main area of the church, Samir met her with her harp. “If you’re up to it? Folks could use a little break.”

“Right away.” She played, and a sigh of relief soon swept through the assembled people.

Maria approached and gave her a hug. “You had us all really worried there for a while,” she said.

Prince Faris cleared his throat nearby, among those more or less recovered from illness, then added, “You’re almost as great a hero to the people as myself, right now. It’s about time you came around. This curse is dreadfully annoying without your little ditty. Sylvando, now will you go wake up my parents?”

“Ah. I’m still dry, I’m afraid. But El should be back any minute, and then things should start happening.”

“You’re dry?” Serena asked. “Your magic? When did you last sleep?” She peered up at him and finally noticed the uncharacteristic dark circles under his eyes and an unprecedented shading of stubble across his chin.

“Well...A day and a half?”

“Sylv...”

“He hardly left your side, yesterday,” said Maria. “Only for emergencies.”

“Hm. I suppose I’ll keep my fireballs to myself,” muttered Veronica.

“Serena! Hey, everyone!” Serena turned to see El and Rab running down the street toward the shelter of the church.

At Rab’s request, they found the astronomer and got him to sketch out the runes he remembered from the lantern shard. “Well, that’s got to be your problem,” the sage mused. “These stand for lethargy and despair. The Lantern must have been made with a list of specific effects of Calasmos’s power that they wanted to contain. Given the way the shards reacted to each other, I’d wager there was originally another copy of the same runes on the other side of the Lantern, so the evil power would be pinned down in between, but given just the one Lantern shard, it only pushed those attributes out from the Star shard.”

“So if El blasts it with a little Luminary juice?” asked Veronica.

“I don’t see that it could cause any harm, and it might just do the trick. The power of the Luminary let us take down Calasmos himself, so it might simply obliterate this wee little fraction of his power.”

At last, they gathered in the street, facing the door that was now infamous to the entire city. People clustered in the doorway of the church, trying to see, but afraid to leave the protection of the building.

“Ready?” Serena asked El. The mark on his hand was already glowing, and he nodded, so she held her wand over him and cast the protection spell. “Go,” she said.

He ran forward. Serena felt a fresh stab of despair hit her as the door opened, and worn down from the past weeks, she no longer had the energy to resist it. She was abruptly certain this was a terrible mistake. She fell to her knees, and Sylvando sank down beside her.

But it lasted only an instant, and then the house filled with light and a sound like glass shattering, and the dark weight lifted so quickly that Serena sucked in a deep breath with a sudden sensation that she might be able to float away.

“It worked,” she said. “It worked!”

A cheer went up behind them, and Serena impulsively reached for Sylvando at the same time he reached for her, and she squeezed him as hard as she could.

“It worked. We’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay?” He pulled back and peered into her face and she held her breath long enough to give him a reassuring smile.

“I seem to be done with the fever, anyway. I think I’ll be fine.” She turned her face away to cough a little. “Sorry. Rather gross for a while yet, but fine.”

“Everyone!” shouted Prince Faris. “We are free at last! The specialists I brought in have destroyed the Shard, and its hold over us is gone!”

  


* * *

  


The people broke into celebration for the rest of the day.

Sylvando insisted on taking a moment to freshen up before they went to the palace. He returned smooth-chinned, and the circles under his eyes were gone. Serena wondered if he’d used some small magic to restore himself.

Lured by the sunshine, the breeze, and the thrill of the broken curse, and feeling just well enough to want to spend more time outside and upright, Serena demanded to go along to the palace. Her sinuses cleared during the walk, and she felt a fresh burst of joy. Sometimes it was the little things.

The sultan and his wife were a bit thinner than Serena recalled, and they moved slowly. They had spent most of each day asleep for the recent weeks, after all, including the full prior day when Sylvando had refused to leave Serena’s side. But, she supposed, at least they had avoided becoming ill themselves.

The sultan gave a speech, declaring a new holiday of Shard’s End and lavishly praising his son’s leadership, as well as the church, the healers, the cooks, the circus troupes, and all of his citizens.

Prince Faris’s popularity was higher than ever, as the people had seen his heroic ventures into the presence of the shards, as well as his willing presence among the sick. Serena picked up on an undercurrent of amusement from Sylvando at the prince’s efforts to take credit for the destruction of the shard, but she didn’t really mind him diverting the people’s attention further from herself.

Doctor Zel found Serena and conferred with her. Finding her voice not equal to the job of projecting loudly enough to reach the crowd, Serena recruited Faris to announce to everyone that they were free to go home, but the church would continue to serve as a hospital for the seriously ill or those who simply preferred to stay there for a time.

At Sylvando’s suggestion, Serena introduced El and Rab to Zel, and they agreed to step in for emergency healing duty for those patients still in need for the day, but even the worst symptoms seemed to have begun easing within an hour of the shard’s removal.

The entertainers, both from Sylvando’s troupe and those from the local circus, took turns performing in the streets, while locals hung up decorations and prepared festival foods.

Serena stood with Sylvando watching Francine juggling until Sylvando yawned. “Oh, dear. How dreadfully rude. I’ll have to apologize to her later. I’m just tuckered out.”

“Should we go back to the church to rest?”

“Has no one offered you a place to stay, yet?” An old man approached Sylvando and Serena, and she recognized him as the patient who had entreated her not to give up on him some nights earlier. “You’d both be welcome in my house. I have a spare guest room.”

“If it’s not too much of an imposition…”

“I know full well I owe you my life, Healer, and after what you’ve done for our kingdom, it would be a great honor for me if you would stay in my home.”

He led them inside his house and showed them to a small room with a large bed. “Here you are. I’m going to head out to help set up for tonight’s feast in a few minutes, now. There’s a spare key by the front door, so you can lock up if you want to leave, but I thought you and your husband might like to rest for a bit here.”

Serena hesitated for only a moment, then murmured, “Thank you,” and gently closed the door to the room once their host turned away.

Sylvando was watching her with a trace of a smile. “I’m your husband, today, then?”

Serena bit her lip. “Sorry. Is it too much? I really don’t want to be apart from you right now, and letting it stand seemed like the simplest way to make sure I didn’t have to be. But I could go correct him if you want.”

“Please, no.” Something like alarm flashed across his face. “I don’t want to be apart from you either. But then, is this okay with you?” he asked, gesturing to the single bed.

She looked at it. Thought about sliding under the same sheets as him, about moving over to lie against him, and she wanted it immensely. But she glanced back over at him and felt a blush coming on. “As long as...I still...I’m not…” He waited patiently for her to find words. “A good Arborian woman waits until she’s properly married to make babies,” she finally managed in a rush, feeling fever-warm at the declaration. “I know some people rely on herbs, but they don’t always work, and I, well, I don’t like the idea of bringing down gossip onto a child.”

“Serena.” He touched her cheek, waited for her to meet his eyes. “I’ll give you my word, I will do nothing with you that may make a baby unless we are married and you tell me that you want to.”

“It’s all right?”

“Of course it is, love.”

She reached for him, and he kissed her. She savored it until her breath crackled and she broke away abruptly for another coughing fit. “Sorry. Probably didn’t have to make that declaration today after all. I’m too gross right now anyway.”

He ran a hand over her back. “You should rest, darling.”

“You, too. What did you do, earlier? You had dark circles under your eyes, and then they were gone.”

“Ah. I just used a teensy bit of cosmetic. It’s hard to make people smile when you look like a zombie, you know.”

“Oh. You must be exhausted. You didn’t sleep at all, yesterday?”

“Zel tried to make me. Promised to watch you. But I couldn’t do it. I was afraid…” He sighed. “I was afraid. Come, let’s lie down.” He sat on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes, and looked at her sideways. “I had promised to allow little more than kissing, before. I’m not sure if I pushed that boundary the other day when Francine brought you to me, but it was hard to let go of you, and it wasn’t out of excitement. But I’d like to at least hold you for the rest of the afternoon again, if it’s not asking too much. Or do you want to update the rules for future reference, while we’re talking about it?”

“I suppose we’ve established the important boundary, just now. Okay. I release you from your earlier promise.”

He waited, then drew in a sudden breath. “Your new boundary is only ‘no babymaking’?”

Wondering what else he had in mind, and with a little thrill of curiosity, she nodded. “But rest, now,” she added. “More kissing when I won’t cough on you.”

He studied her in silence for a moment, but then he only said, “Yes, love,” and shifted back onto the bed.

She let him lay down first, then impulsively moved to drape herself over the top of him the way she half-remembered falling asleep from the day before her fever dreams. Her chest pressed against his, her legs interspersed with his.

She realized before she laid her head on his shoulder that this maneuver was much more intimate now that she wasn’t afflicted with crushing exhaustion. But his hands came to her waist, her shoulder, caressing, welcoming her. So she relaxed into him, accepting the intense awareness of every place her body was in contact with his. The zing of touching him. The scent of flowers. His heartbeat sounded loud and quick in her ear.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, suddenly concerned. “You aren’t relapsing, are you?”

“Hmm? I’m feeling better than fine, darling.”

“Your heart rate is fast.”

“Mm. You may take that as a compliment, love.”

“Oh.” She smiled. “Sorry. I remembered this being more restful, last time.”

“I like it better when you’re awake to choose it.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry I worried you, Sylv.”

His arms tightened around her. “I’ll make an allowance for the extraordinary circumstances, but I hope you never have to risk yourself that way again. Do you think we might be done with evil curses for a while?”

“I hope so.”

He kissed the top of her head, and they lay quietly for a time. The thrill of him turned into pleasant dreams as sleep snuck back up on her without warning.

  


* * *

  


Serena woke them both up with her cough, and her nose was stuffed up again. She resigned herself to an ongoing slow recovery as the fair price she’d have to pay.

They went outside after the sun had lowered past the top of the city wall. The streets were full of people still celebrating. Long tables held food and drink, and a husband and wife took it on themselves to fill a couple of plates for them when they approached. 

“These are the most delicious foods on the table!” declared the man.

The woman nudged him out of the way. “Don’t taunt her if she’s still sick. Are you still sick, Healer? How’s your breathing?”

“Not the best it’s ever been.” Her stuffy nose blurred her consonants, and the woman nodded knowingly.

“You’ll want the turnips, then.” She added two scoops of white mush to a fresh plate. “Does a body good.”

“Oh...Thank you. Is that a local remedy?”

“Yes, don’t you know? Helps with the nose and helps you get better faster. We all ought to have been eating them this whole time, but there weren’t any close enough to town by the time folks really started getting sick.”

They lingered while they ate, and by turnips or by chance, Serena’s nose cleared by the time she finished, so they both accepted pastries for dessert and then drifted off through the crowd, exchanging greetings with many familiar faces. Sylvando made a point of checking in with each of his people, and they found that all were doing well, and various townsfolk had competed to offer them lodging as honored guests.

They found Veronica, El, and Rab gathered to watch Francine, Grey, and a couple of locals dancing freeform to Samir’s music. Serena noticed Sylvando’s foot tapping, and she touched his arm. “Why don’t you go join them?” she asked.

He gave her a surprised look. “No, it’s all right.”

“I’ll be fine. And I like watching you.”

He blinked, smiled, gave her a quick kiss there in the crowded street, and turned to approach the dancers as Samir wrapped up a song. The performers and bystanders alike welcomed him with cheers and applause, and he beamed and waved. Serena watched him begin wholeheartedly dancing with the start of the next melody, and she felt like another piece of the world was returned to how it should be.

She felt a nudge in her side, and she glanced over to find Veronica and Rab smiling at her. “Oh, hush,” she told them, smiling back.

El was watching the dancers, tapping his own foot, and Sylvando caught sight of him, then pointed at him and beckoned imperiously. El hesitated only a moment, then jumped in to begin dancing among the other performers, earning a fresh cheer from the onlookers.

Serena exchanged raised eyebrows with Veronica at that. “Ach,” said Rab, “You girls haven’t been to one of his dance shows yet, have you? I’ll admit, I was a mite surprised, but I shouldn’t have been. His parents did love the ballroom.”

They caught up on news from Heliodor and Arboria for a little while, and then at the request of the other two sages, Serena began relaying the events of the past two weeks, with particular detail on the magical strategies they’d used to keep the city from wasting away under the influence of the shard and the contagious illnesses.

They both gave her a reproachful look when she spoke of healing away her body’s defense mechanisms for short term gains, and she put her hands on her hips. “Now don’t you start. It was the only way.”

“Someday, I’m going to find a whole book on enchanting those communication mirrors, instead of just that useless teaser in the encyclopedia,” Veronica grumbled.

“Someday, if you’ve a couple of weeks to spend on it, I’ll show you how to restore your own energy with meditation,” Rab offered.

Sooner than she’d hoped, she had another embarrassingly dramatic coughing fit. When she finally straightened and blinked the tears out of her eyes, Sylvando was at her side again.

“I think it’s time for me to take you back to rest, sweetheart.”

“But…” Serena glanced at her sister and their friends.

“I need to head back soon anyway,” said El, hovering next to Sylvando. “But I can check back in the mornings for a few days.”

“Did Erik and Mia show up yet, darling?” asked Sylvando.

“No. They’re due any day, though.” El absently smoothed the sleeves of his tunic, and Sylvando smiled knowingly at him.

“I’ll stick around for a few days at least,” said Veronica. “Where are you staying?”

“A local gentleman is putting us up,” said Sylvando.

“Okay.” Veronica hopped off of her chair. “Let’s go.”

The three of them said their goodbyes to Rab and El, then set off down the street.

“Well, Sylvando, I know a little of how my sister’s been running herself ragged. What have you been up to this week?”

“Oh, you know. Dabbling in magic, and proving I can still make people smile when we’re all swimming in disease.”

“Classy.”

“He’s selling himself short on the magic side of it. He’s been the only one who could wake people up outside the church, and sometimes inside it.” Serena frowned. “If you didn’t sleep...When did you run dry?”

“Ah...Including the last of the potions, about midafternoon yesterday.”

“Did you have to wake people up earlier than usual?”

“No, I was trying to pull off my best imitation Serena and heal people so you could rest. Clumsy by comparison, but we kept everyone going. But I didn’t wake up anyone at all yesterday.”

“Oh.” They arrived at the house, and Serena broke off of her questioning to look down at Veronica. “Are you coming in? I don’t imagine our host will mind.”

“Sure.”

Sylvando touched Serena’s shoulder. “Not that I mind our Ronnie’s company, but I don’t want to keep you up too late.”

She glanced at him while she turned the key. “I’m not quite sleepy yet. Hello, the house?” she called softly. There was no answer.

“He must still be out,” said Sylvando. He lit a lamp while the twins sat down at the table.

“Where are you staying tonight, Veronica?” asked Serena.

“Is there not enough space in your room, Serena?”

“Oh…” She glanced at Sylvando. He looked back at her with a carefully blank expression.

Veronica looked between them. “Hang on. Are you two in the same room?” Serena looked back at her, and Veronica made a strange face that began startled and landed on a crooked smirk. “You know, when I said you weren’t allowed to marry him without me, and that I wouldn’t mind being an aunt, I was still imagining that there would be a step somewhere in the middle.”

“Veronica! I, we’re not, that’s not what...” Serena stumbled, flushed and flustered. The phrases “we haven’t done anything” and “we haven’t even considered it” popped into her head and both rang a little false, at least from her perspective.

Sylvando rescued her, smiling faintly. “Ronnie, I’ve given her my word, and I’ll give it to you: I’ll not make you an aunt without making you my sister first.”

Serena felt a smile leap onto her face before she even finished unpacking that statement, and then she found that she loved every implication of it.

“Well. Will your sister be allowed to steal her sister away from time to time, and maybe make you sleep on the couch?”

The smile drifted away from Serena as she glanced between the two most important people in her life. She hadn’t put thought into what being around both of them would mean in practice, now. She’d love to have a late night gossiping with her sister, but she also longed to crawl into Sylvando’s arms again and stay there until morning.

Sylvando’s smile faded, too, and he looked down. “Veronica, if you’d asked that of me last week, or if you ask me next month, I expect I’d say yes. But tonight…” His brows pinched together and his mouth turned down.

“What exactly happened yesterday?” asked Veronica quietly.

Sylvando closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and shook his head as though he didn’t like whatever he saw there, and he looked at Serena instead. “I remembered the girl with the fever dreams, and when you started showing the same behavior, Zel and I thought it would be best to try the same medicines with you and just let you rest as much as possible. So we tried our best to take care of everyone without you and only bother you for the most important things. I spent all my magic on that. By the time you...you got worse, I had nothing left, and we couldn’t get you to wake up and heal yourself. It was...well, I can’t quite recall a worse night. So,” he shifted suddenly to a marginally more cheerful tone, “I could make room, but the best I’m prepared to offer is to sit up in a chair all night and watch her sleep.” He valiantly attempted a smile in Veronica’s direction, but it didn’t touch his eyes, and it didn’t last, and his voice fell quiet again. “But I’d rather not be out of the same room, and I certainly won’t sleep if I’m not close enough to know that she’s breathing.”

“Sylv…” Serena took his hand, and he tightened his grip on hers.

Veronica crossed her arms. “Well, I get it, but after hearing that, I’m even less excited to clear out. If I take the chair and watch you two all night, am I going to see anything I’ll regret?”

Sylvando looked back at Veronica, and this time when the corners of his mouth quirked upward, his eyes crinkled to match. “I think we could restrain ourselves for a night. We might be able to all fit on the bed, if that would make everyone the most comfortable. Ah, if it needs to be said, I promise I do mean that in an absolutely platonic way.”

Veronica eyed him for a moment, then stood up and put her hands on her hips. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Sylvando nodded and gently pulled Serena to her feet.

“Huh. I don’t get a say in this, do I?” asked Serena. Then a wave of fatigue hit her, and she put a hand on the table to brace herself.

“Not really, no,” said Veronica. “Certainly not when you look like you’re about to fall over.”

“Did you want to lodge a complaint?” asked Sylvando.

“No, I suppose I don't.”

They settled her down on the bed between them, and each of them took one of her hands. As her head hit the pillow, she almost immediately started to drift off, too tired to keep making sense of their words, but soothed by the soft murmur of the two voices she loved best.

  


* * *

  


“Are you feeling up to a little walk? I was thinking we might mosey out of town, head over to the oasis, if you want to,” said Sylvando.

“Get out of the city walls for a bit? Sounds good to me,” said Serena.

They meandered out through the desert, appreciating the comfortable morning air, the flowers, the sunlight. “It’s nice out here when the local fauna isn’t trying to kill us,” commented Veronica.

“I took a while to get used to walking so much again when we traveled here from Gondolia, but that was the only challenge, up until the shards. We spotted a couple of monsters in the distance, but they stayed away.”

They found a spot where there was a gap in the foliage to grant them a view of the water and no one within earshot. “Why don’t we sit here for a bit?” said Sylvando. Serena suspected he was still trying not to wear her out, but it was a nice view, so she went along with it.

After they sat down and there was a brief lull in the conversation, Veronica said, “So, Sylvando. You and Dave.”

Sylvando went still for a moment, then turned to face Veronica. “Yes?”

“You’re still a thing, right?”

“I expect I shouldn’t be surprised by your intel,” he said slowly. “Yes.”

“Well, it’s a month out of date, but I haven’t gotten my proper gossip session, so I decided to promote you into the set of people I’ll bother with nosy personal questions.”

“Sorry,” said Serena. “I guess I should warn you, if there’s anything you really want me not to tell Veronica, you’ll have to tell me so outright. I hope you won’t ask me to try and keep many secrets from her, though. I’m terrible at it.”

“She really is.”

“Duly noted. Well then, Veronica, do you have more nosy personal questions for me?”

“As a matter of fact, I do! Here’s one. What happens if Serena and Dave are both about to go overboard, and you can only grab one of them?”

“Veronica!”

“Well. I happen to know that Dave is an excellent swimmer, and he’s too heavy for me to lift anyway, so I expect I’d go for Serena.”

“Okay.” Veronica tapped a finger on her chin. “What if they’re both kidnapped by evil sorcerers and you have to choose which one to go rescue first?”

“Ah...Do I know anything about these sorcerers?”

“Nope. They’re just evil.”

“Well. I don’t like it, but I know Serena has magic of her own and would have a better chance to fight back against a sorcerer, so I might pick Dave.”

“Hmph. Fine. Okay, what if Serena and Dave both send you secret invitations to different romantic dinners, and they scheduled them for the same time, and you can only go to one of them?”

“Oh, dear. I suppose I’d do my best to find someone to carry a message and...well, Serena, my darling, would you forgive me if I chose Dave this time? It’s just that I’m not around him all the time, and he’s never in ten years sent me an actual invitation to a secret rendezvous. It’s so out of character that I think it must be important. I promise I’ll do my very best to make it up to you later.”

Serena laughed. “If I’ve put a great deal more time and thought into the dinner than I did into the scheduling, you might have to put a bit of effort into it, but I suppose I’ll forgive you.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” said Veronica. “She’s a big pushover.”

“Veronica, stop,” said Serena. “What’s the good of all these questions? How would you like it if someone asked you who you’d choose to save between, say, El and me?”

Veronica grimaced. “That’s different.”

“Is it really?”

“We both swore an oath. I’d be wrecked, but I have to pick El.”

“Well, yes, okay. I suppose the question isn't precisely equivalent, but...”

“Wait, an oath?” Sylvando asked.

“Oh. That was right before you met us, wasn’t it? Sorry. I expect I ought to have told you that we’ve both sworn our lives to protecting the Luminary. ‘We of Arboria swear to protect you. While we live, none shall defeat you.’ It...didn’t come with an expiration. Other than ‘while we live’, I suppose.” Serena gave him an uncertain half of a smile. “It doesn’t seem like it ought to come up very often anymore, but if it ever comes down to it, I will drop everything to go help him again.”

“A knight’s word is her bond,” he said softly. “Well! Of course I’ll go along with you if I possibly can. Wouldn’t pass up another adventure with our darling young hero.”

Serena spent a moment exchanging a smile with Sylvando until Veronica broke the silence. “Anyway! What I’m trying to say is you’d better not be putting Serena second to Dave. Even though she totally just declared you second to El.”

“I won’t put Serena second to Dave. I don’t really care to start ranking the people I love.” He held Serena’s gaze. “I can’t promise I’ll always manage to do the most fair thing in every moment, and I’m quite afraid I’ll do something foolish to hurt your feelings sooner or later, but I will do the best I can not to neglect you. Please do tell me if I make a mess of it and don’t notice.”

Serena smiled again and took hold of his hand.

Veronica sighed, clasped her hands behind her head, and laid back in the sand. “I can’t tell if you two are being embarrassingly sappy right now or not sappy at all. Sister dear, no offense, but I might not come to you for relationship advice in a decade after all. Yours looks like more work than I’d care to put in.”

“Hmm. You might change your mind when you find your own Sylvando.”

Veronica laughed and flicked sand at Serena with her toe. “Okay, now you’re definitely being embarrassing.”

“Are you sure?” asked Serena. “If it helps to clarify the situation, I could kiss him.”

“Oh, you’re so thoughtful. Please do. I’ll be over here totally paying attention with my eyes closed.”

Serena smiled at her sister lying in the sand, eyes closed and smirking. Then she turned her head and found Sylvando leaning his face close to hers.

“Did I hear my presence is required for a performance?”

“Hmm. That’s what I heard.”

“Just remember to wake me up before I get sunburned,” said Veronica.

  


* * *

  


The next day followed the same pattern, except that Sylvando exchanged a look with Veronica in the middle of the afternoon and excused himself. “I should check in with the troupe. Shall I meet up with you ladies for dinner?”

“Sounds good,” said Veronica.

“Er, all right,” said Serena. He gave her hand a squeeze and pulled away with a smile and a wave.

Serena watched him go, then glanced at Veronica. “Not that I really mind, but did that seem a bit sudden? We could have gone along. You could meet the crew again.”

“Nah. I made a deal with him after you fell asleep last night. If you went for two hours without coughing, I get you alone for a little while.”

“Oh. All right.” She relaxed a little. “You two could have just said so. I did want some time alone with you at some point before you leave.”

“Oh. Well, this way was more fun. We had secret signals and everything.” Veronica shrugged, then pulled her into a shaded corner, leaned against a wall, and peered intently up into her face. “So. You’re happy?”

“Veronica, I’m so happy. Even when I wake up sick, when he’s there, I still think I’m dreaming.”

“He treats you well when I’m not looking?”

“Veronica, it’s Sylvando. You think he’s going to be unkind just because there isn’t a third party to witness it?”

“Not really, but I felt like I should do my due diligence as your sister and ask.”

“Just think of how he is with everyone else all of the time. It’s like that, but three times as much, and I get to kiss him.”

“Only three times?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I just mean that I enjoy it three times as much. But I really like watching him interacting with other people, too, you know?”

“Hmm. Is that why you decided the Dave business was okay?”

“I think that’s part of it. You know, the night before we started courting, I’d decided Sylv wasn’t interested in me at all, and I saw him and Dave standing next to each other, making jokes together, and I was terribly jealous. But it wasn’t that I wanted him not to be with Dave. It’s just that I didn’t have anything with him at all, and Dave did. Looking back on it now, I’m just happy they had a good time together before we left. I...oh, dear.”

“What?”

“I might have ruined their routine with my awkward timing. Dave told me he’d looked in on Sylv earlier, that last night in Gondolia, and I think Sylv sent him away, and it was my fault. I can’t imagine they wouldn’t usually want to spend some time together the day before Sylv goes off on a trip. And then Dave sent me in to talk to him. I’m going to have to figure out a way to make it up to him.”

“To Sylv?”

“No, to Dave. I mean, maybe Sylv. But mostly Dave.”

“Yep, this would be way too complicated for my taste.”

“Says the sister who makes secret midnight pacts to get Sylvando to give the two of us time alone.”

Veronica opened her mouth, then closed it. “Okay, fair point,” she said finally. “Um. I’m less sure about this than usual when I’m trying to read your mind, but...Am I the real reason you agreed to Dave?”

Serena nodded. “You were the deciding factor, I think. You’re important to me in a way I’m not sure I can explain to someone who isn’t so close to their own twin. That won’t change just because I’ve found another person to love, too. Once I thought about that, it just sort of made sense to me to accept that Sylvando could have a close bond with more than one person.”

“Are you saying that I’m still as important to you as Sylvando is, then?” Veronica kept a nonchalant posture, but she was studying the roof of the building they were standing next to rather than meeting Serena’s eyes, and there was a tiny catch in her voice.

Serena knelt in front of her and put her hands on her sister’s shoulders. “Veronica. Of course you are. You’re so important to me. After all that interrogation over Dave, am I the one neglecting you? I’m sorry. I could come see you more often. Or you could travel with us.”

She caught a glint of tears in Veronica’s eyes, but Veronica laughed. “Now you’re being embarrassing again. Look, you have things to be getting on with. Exciting, new, interesting things. I want you to go on and focus on that. But...I’m glad I’m not demoted to second best in all things.”

“Never that, sister dearest.” Serena pulled her twin into an embrace.

  


* * *

  


On the third day after Shard’s End, Serena woke up without an immediate coughing fit and felt that her body and her minor health boosting magic were catching up at last.

Veronica bid her farewell when El came to check in with them that morning. “Now you don’t look like you’re going to tip over any minute, I think I can leave you to your steamy romance,” she murmured for only Serena to hear. Then, louder, and ignoring Serena’s blush, “Will you just pop back here and check on her in a week for me, El?”

“Sure. You’ll still be in Gallopolis?”

She glanced at Sylvando, who nodded. “That’s right, darling. I sent a letter of apology to Hotto, but we’re not going to get there and still make it back out of the desert before full summer. But we’re finally going to get around to our official little collaboration with the local circus here. We’ll should have a fabulous show ready in a week, if you want to come in around dusk.”

They waved until the teleportation spell took effect. Serena felt a little pulse of sadness as her sister disappeared, but she found a smile for Sylvando. “A week? You’d best get back to practicing, then.”

“I suppose. I could take another day or two with you if you’re not feeling well, yet, though. Or longer, if you needed me.”

“I’m fine. I should be dropping in on Zel, myself.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to overdo it.”

“I promise I’m fine. I’ll stop and rest if I need to. Anyway, I’m going to spend the day in the company of a doctor, so I really don’t think you need to worry.”

“All right.”

  


* * *

  


Serena joined Zel to make a couple of house calls together to the handful of patients who were still seriously ill, but no one was nearly as badly off as they’d been with the shard’s effects. Then at last, they spent time exchanging herb lore and other knowledge. They went out to the oasis to harvest a number of the plants useful against respiratory diseases, since they had used up everything either of them had on hand, and they made plans to craft some syrups and potions during the week so as to keep them potent longer.

The days were growing hotter. Serena took advantage of the enlivened city to do some shopping during a break for lunch, and upon meeting an enthusiastic merchant who was beyond thrilled to be doing business again at last, she bought a new silk blouse and skirt.

She spotted Sylvando shopping at the next stall over. Curious, she drifted over to meet him as he stepped away. “What are you up to?”

“Ah...” He paused and looked down at the packages in his hands. “I usually try to bring something local back for Dave when I’ve been inland.”

“Oh. What did you find?”

He glanced at her. “Sour cherry preserves, and some pistachios.”

“That sounds lovely.” Serena smiled, discovering once again that she was still charmed by his thoughtfulness when it wasn’t aimed at her.

  


* * *

  


The circus held its shows in the evenings, after the worst of the noon heat had bled away. The local performers insisted on doing their own show for the first few days, declaring it as a thank-you to the guest troupe, so Serena found herself in the audience with Sylvando at a circus show, which felt very strange. She kept sneaking looks at his face, enjoying his little nods of approval at their juggling and his open delight when they surprised him with unfamiliar snake charming and sword swallowing acts.

The sun was behind the city wall but not out of the sky when the show ended. Sylvando invited Serena to go walking with him.

“You’re doing much better,” he observed.

“Yes. Almost back to normal, I think. Thanks for making me rest so much.”

“You’re feeling back to full strength? Are you up for a bit of climbing?”

“Sure.”

He led her behind the circus tent, where there were ladders and scaffolding that led to the top of the city wall. “They use it to adjust the ropes holding up the top of the tent. Sometimes they raise it higher to let more air in and out,” he explained. “But we can use it to get on top of the wall.”

Feeling agreeable, she climbed up after him and followed him around to the west wall. The sun was already setting between the mountains in the distance. They sat and watched the clouds on the far side of the mountains turn different shades of orange.

“This is lovely, Sylv,” she murmured, relaxed and happy.

“I hoped you’d like it, love.”

“I like doing anything with you, Sylv.”

“You’re not tired of me yet, then?”

“I won’t ever be tired of you, Sylv.”

“Then is this a good time to talk about the future?”

Serena glanced at him, suddenly alert. “Yes.”

“I don’t know exactly what I’ll want to do with the circus in the long run. I think I want to take it around the world at least once. After that, I’m not certain. I think I’d be happy either to keep traveling, or to start looking into the theater idea, if I can find a patron. Though I’ll probably keep traveling some after that. Talent scouting, you know. And I wouldn’t like to leave the ship behind for good. Ah, by which I really mean Dave.” He gave her a tentative look, but she only nodded, so he continued, “But what do you want to do? I wouldn’t like to drag you away from your own dreams.”

“Honestly, I think I’ll find ways to be useful anywhere I go. I love traveling, especially with you and the troupe, and meeting with other healers like I’ve been doing, and I have some writing in mind for the times I’m not actively doing healing work. I do think I'd like to complete that world tour and create a reference that compares medicine across different traditions. I already know I'm not going to pick up everything from only a couple weeks of collaboration, so I wouldn't mind revisiting places I've already been to add more depth to my notes. But I could also see someday settling somewhere with a lot of people, a big enough city so that there’s a point to adding another healer to the population.”

Sylvando nodded slowly. “So you wouldn’t mind sticking with me? I wouldn’t be making you give up on your own plans.”

“Not at all. I think your requirements are more complicated than mine, but as near as I can tell, our plans are pretty compatible.”

“In that case…” He took a deep breath and shifted to face her more directly. “Serena, after all the traveling we’ve done together and everything that’s happened, I feel like I know you very well. I’ve seen your kindness and forgiveness. I’ve seen your courage and your determination and your drive to protect people under your care. You may not wear heavy armor, and you tend to heal people rather than raise arms against them, but you have the heart of a knight. I admire you very much, and I love being in your company.

“Now, I know we’ve only been courting for a few weeks, and you can tell me to slow down and give you more time, but I’m already certain what it is that I want, if I can have it. And after what we’ve been through together here, I don’t want to wait to make my feelings known. I love you, and I want to be a part of your whole life. I’d like to have a big, beautiful wedding with you. I’d like to make a family with you. Would you like those things?”

“I would like those things very much, Sylvando.” She found a smile on her face that felt like it might never leave, and an answering smile spread across his face.

He held up an open hand in front of himself, then curled his fingers, turned his wrist, and opened his hand face up. She looked down, and there was a ring of simple woven gold in his palm.

“It’s not the flashiest thing,” he said, “But it’s been in the family for a few generations. I’d like it if you would wear it. Will you marry me, Serena?”

“Yes. Yes, Sylv.”

  


* * *

  


When they returned to their room, Sylvando gave her a rather serious kiss that left her breathless, then pulled back to sit on the edge of the bed, keeping hold of her hand.

“Serena? We’ve said no babymaking, which I’ll not challenge. But does that mean you are interested in other forms of lovemaking?”

She stared at him blankly for a moment. Then she connected a couple of dots. “Oh. Oh!” Of course, if two men could do things as lovers, then logically there could be something a woman could also do to give pleasure, without making a baby. She looked down at their joined hands and thought about it for a moment. If this meant she could trust that they were going somewhere that wasn’t forbidden, but she still could look at him, touch him, spend time in his arms with nothing between them…

“I...I would like it if I could give you pleasure, some way. You’ll, ah, have to tell me what to do, though.” She smiled and looked up at him, feeling very warm and just a little shy.

He looked at her with wide eyes and splayed the fingers of his free hand across his lips.

“What is it?” she asked.

“My darling, the way you phrased that. I believe you have found a boundary of mine. I’m not prepared to let you give me pleasure without letting me do the same for you.”

“Um. Sylv, every time you touch me, it feels wonderful.”

“I...I’m glad, but I did mean in the more intimate sense.”

She hesitated. “I...don’t think I know what you mean.”

“Serena…” Another pause. “Will you tell me how the talk goes in Arboria? About the birds and the bees?”

“I know how babies are made, Sylv.”

“And what else?”

“Er. And...watch out for young men who want to take pleasure from the act without thinking about babies.”

“That’s all?”

“I think so.”

“Darling Serena,” he said, voice low and emphatic, “If a woman has found a man who only wants to take pleasure and give none in return, she has found herself a bad man.” He shook his head. “And in my opinion, it is a poor discussion of the birds and the bees that implies that gentleman parts can find pleasure and lady parts cannot.”

“Oh,” she said faintly. “I see. Sorry. I’ve never really...heard much. Or done much.” She felt flushed, and wavered between feeling incredulous and incredibly foolish.

“Oh, don’t apologize, love.” His tone shifted, now soothing and sympathetic. “Come here. I’m sorry I didn’t realize.” He drew her into a simple embrace. “You don’t need to decide anything tonight.”

“That’s really…?” But Sylvando wouldn’t lie to her. She hid her face against his shoulder for a moment. “Now I feel a little ridiculous. Childish. I’ve read books on anatomy. On very personal afflictions. I...how did I not know this part?”

“I suppose it’s not the most popular topic of conversation among polite society. Please don’t feel bad. Sweetheart, you’re all tense. How about we try something less complicated for right now? Lie down and I’ll rub your back for you.”

She complied, her pride still stinging until he put his hands on her and pressed into her shoulders through the thin silk of her summer blouse.

“How’s that?”

“Feels really good.”

“Tell me if I push too hard. Or not hard enough. Or if you want me to target anywhere in particular.”

A small groan escaped her as he found a muscle she hadn’t realized was sore next to her spine. “More, here?” he asked.

“Mmhmm. And maybe down just a...Mmm. Harder? Ah, too much.” His fingers found a happy medium, and she sighed approval as pleasure washed out the pain of the afflicted spot.

By the time he worked his way down to her tailbone, she felt like a puddle, relaxed and content. When his hands stilled and he shifted, laid down alongside her and pressed a kiss against her temple, she stirred and mumbled, “If you tell me that’s what you meant about giving me pleasure, I’ll believe it.”

“Oh, love, don’t feed me such a line,” he said, smiling, inches away. “It makes me want to keep going.”

“Maybe you should keep going.”

“Maybe? I’m going to hold out for more than a maybe, love.”

“Then tell me how it works.” She shifted onto her side, facing him, and laid a hand on his waist. “Educate me. What do people do besides babymaking?”

“Ah. Well.”

He leaned in and began murmuring details into her ear, voice low and soft. She listened, feeling just a little scholarly until he started moving his fingers against the small of her back in illustration, setting her skin on fire, and she began imagining him doing the same elsewhere. She thought that even if it was nothing more pleasurable than this zing of contact with him, or perhaps something comparable to the massage, she wanted the intimacy of it. Wanted him, every part of him that she could have without crossing that last forbidden line.

So when he finished speaking, she said, "Let's do the first thing."

"Now? Are you certain?"

She nodded. He studied her face for a long moment. Too long. Concerned, she finally asked, "You don't want to?"

"You're not just offering because you think I want you to? I feel like I'm pushing everything too fast, and I felt terrible when I believed I'd merely flirted with you beyond your comfort zone. I don't want you to regret anything we do."

"Sylv.” She slid her hand to the center of his chest, so her fingertips touched the bare skin above the neckline of his shirt. “The first night you kissed me, if you'd told me you could take me to your bed and guarantee there wouldn't be a baby from it, I would have wanted to do it then. Even if you didn't offer anything for me beyond the chance to…" Faced with the prospect of openly admitting her private thoughts, she suddenly felt like she was about to dive off of a cliff, but the view was beautiful and Sylvando was waiting, so she accepted the heat in her face and pushed forward. "To take off our clothes and press my skin against yours."

A smile bloomed back onto his face. "Ah. Angel, if that's all you want right now, we could just do that."

“Well, I’m not sure that’s all I want to do anymore, except that you seem a great deal happier about it than the rest.”

“Love of mine, I’m very happy to hear about anything you want for yourself. It makes me feel like I’m not just seeing what I want to see.”

“Oh. Um...I always thought that would be unfair, though.”

"Unfair, love?"

"I just...well, I can't remember where I heard it, but I thought men don't appreciate a woman, um, teasing them and then not, er, following through."

His voice dropped into something low and warm. "Oh, honey, I like a little teasing. With or without anything else." He shifted closer, and his thumb found its way under the hem of her blouse to caress the skin of her waist, and there was the zing in full force. "Shall we find out whether you like it too?"

She was back in free fall, hurtling off the cliff. “Yes.”

He brought his smile against hers, and his kiss was an invitation, and her heart was already racing when he pulled his face away and brought his hands to the laces of her blouse. His fingers lightly grazed her body through the fabric as he did, and it suddenly sank in that she didn’t have to wait anymore. She had clear permission to do all the things she wanted. Almost everything.

“Sylv?” she asked, her own fingers working at his belt before she quite realized she’d begun to move.

“Yes, love?”

“What if I don’t?”

“If you don’t like it? Then I need you to tell me to stop, right away. Anything you want me to do differently, please let me know.”

“All right, but I meant, what if I don’t like the teasing without anything else? What if I decide I want to follow through?”

“Ah. Then you can tell me that, too, and I’ll gladly follow your lead.”

  


* * *

  


A while later, entwined and intoxicated, feeling a good deal wiser about the options for teasing and the value thereof, and yet having the notion for the fourth time about how easy and agreeable it would surely be to shift over just a little and press against him in a slightly different way, Serena sighed and let her wandering hands still for a moment. She found enough breath to say, “Sylv?”

“Yes, love?” he murmured against her skin.

“I like all of it, but I do believe I’d like to follow through, now, please.”

“Mm.” He slid back up to look into her face, and she realized she must have convinced him of her genuine interest by now. His expression, half-lidded eyes and a tiny self-satisfied smile, impossibly made him more alluring, even before he kissed her again, brought a hand to caress her cheek before tracing back downward with lightning in its wake, and said, “Yes. Dance with me, Serena.”

  


* * *

  


In the morning, she woke up feeling like the sun herself, warm and radiating happiness.

Then she propped herself up to look at Sylvando’s face and found him wearing an odd mix of affection and something she couldn’t quite place. Worry? Concern? Sadness?

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing, love.”

“You’re making a face.”

“Am I? Sorry.”

“Is...Are you...Was last night okay?” Abruptly, she worried that she’d disappointed him. Obviously, he’d had other lovers in the past.

“Last night was wonderful, love.” He caressed her shoulder. “I’d like to have a lot more nights like last night.”

“Oh. Good.” She frowned just a little. “But you’re still making a face. What are you thinking about?”

“Ah...How happy I am to be here with you right now?”

“Was that a question?”

“Well, it’s not the only thing I was thinking about, but the rest is a terrible conversation topic for the morning after. I should tell you about how you are sweetness and joy, and I should make you breakfast, and I should leave it at that.”

“Well, if you don’t know by now that I’d rather know anything that’s on your mind, you should. So we’re having the other conversation,” she said firmly.

He flashed her a quick smile at that, then reverted to the first expression. “All right. Serena, after last night, knowing what you know now, does it change how you feel about Dave and I?”

She blinked. “Oh.” She put her head back down on his shoulder. “I want to say no, but since you’re asking, I suppose I should think about it for a minute.” 

“You don’t have to answer right now.”

“No, it’s not that hard a question. If I said yes, I don’t get to keep you at all, right?” She lifted her head again to give him half a smile, then lost the smile when she saw the unhappiness that had taken over his face. “Sylv! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I don’t know, Serena. If you asked me to choose...I don’t know.”

“That would be terribly unfair of me, wouldn’t it? You told me before this started what your rules were.”

“I did. But now I don’t know if you entirely understood what that meant at the time. And I know sometimes the heart doesn’t care about what’s fair. Sharing this with you means a lot to me. But so does what I have with Dave. I don’t want to choose, and I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want you to settle for a part of me if what you’d really like is someone to be yours alone. All the great romance tales talk about finding your other half, your soulmate. So I’d understand if you wanted that.” He layered another smile in with his frown.

“Sylv. Last night was marvelous. I think I can understand how people might link that sort of language to that kind of sharing. And I am feeling rather ridiculously in love with you. But I, I think there are some things I should have said to you sooner. Did I ever tell you about our elder’s vision? Before Veronica and I were born?”

“Ah…” Sylvando’s frown deepened. “Something about Serenica’s soul?”

“Right. We came out as twins, and we each got half of her soul. That’s what Benedictus says, and I believe it, but even if I didn’t, she’s still terribly important to me. We lived side by side for over two decades, and she reads my mind more than half the time without even trying, and she usually figures out what’s bothering me before I do. Getting to visit with her that first time after having spent months apart from her was like, like eating a complete meal after nothing but bread and water for the same amount of time. I thought I’d convinced myself it was fine to just write letters while I waited to see her, but it turns out, I really did need to start spending time with her on a more regular basis again. I don’t think I could ever call myself anyone else’s other half, because I’m already hers.”

“So…”

“So I don’t mind that Dave is important to you, too. Not if you can accept that Veronica is...well, I don’t think I can put her second to you, either.”

He nodded slowly, and his expression shifted like clouds drifting across the sky. “I certainly don’t want to come between the two of you. But then...It doesn’t bother you that she doesn’t really approve of me as a match for you?”

“What?”

“I appreciate that she hasn’t tried to forbid it, but I can tell she isn’t thrilled.”

“That’s...Did she tell you that outright?”

“No, but, well, you were there at the oasis.”

“Sylv. She doesn’t disapprove. She’ll ask you hard questions, but that’s because she cares enough to want to make sure you’ve thought about the answers. She did the same thing to me in Gondolia. If she hadn’t pointed out to me the possibility that you might be waiting for me to make up my mind about Dave, and told me I should take action once I did, I might never have said anything to you about waiting for my dancer.”

“I see.” Sylvando’s face brightened a little. “I’ll have to revise my plans from bribery and flattery to coming up with a way to thank her.”

Serena laughed. “Flattery usually works, if you can handle her being smug about it for the rest of the day.”

“I never mind that. Making someone feel smug is a perfectly viable strategy for putting a smile on their face.” His own small smile faded back to neutral after a moment. “I understand what you’re saying about your bond with her, and I see the similarity, but I feel like I should still ask more specifically. Thinking about Dave and I doing the same sort of thing as we just did together doesn’t cause you distress?”

She thought about it for a moment: Dave touching Sylvando the same way, Sylvando responding the same way. It wasn’t the first time she’d entertained the idea of the two of them in a private moment, but this time she did know more about what that could entail, and the images that popped into her head were rather more detailed than before, and the accompanying zing of interest linked itself directly to her memories of the prior night and entirely distracted her from more philosophical concerns. She thought of the reaction Sylvando would have while enjoying Dave’s attention, or maybe hers again, and after all here was Sylvando with her body still pressed alongside his, and for a moment that fact occupied her entire attention. She traced the line of his shoulder with her eyes. Shifted her body a little just to feel the movement of his skin against hers, which still felt as amazing as she remembered. Then she glanced back up at his face, and he was looking at her with that serious, anxious expression, and she finally remembered that he’d asked a question that deserved a proper answer.

She focused and quietly cleared her throat. “No. It doesn’t cause me distress.”

He studied her face. “Are you sure?”

Slightly embarrassed over her reaction, she let a faint hint of impatience into her tone. “Is it so strange as all that? I should have thought that it wouldn’t surprise you, someone not minding it.”

“Beloved, I don’t mean to make you feel strange. But...Serena, I’ve been looking for you for a long time. Someone who finds me to their taste, who could accept Dave, and likes children, and is willing to go traveling with me? That combination alone has proven rare enough that I had started to doubt that I would ever be able to find and keep all the things I want. Now here you are, not only representing everything I’ve wanted to bring into my life, but you’re so, so much more amazing than I’d dared to hope.”

Serena found that she finally could believe his compliments were heartfelt, now, and she felt this one curl around her own heart as he continued.

“Serena, I want a great deal from you, and I want it badly enough that I’m afraid I won’t give you room to decide what you want. I want you to become my wife and make children with me and stay near me forever and let me try to make you happy. And of course I want you to be fine with Dave. But I also know what it is to have somebody else try to tell you who to be and what you should want, and I know it can be hard to push back against that when you haven’t had room to figure out what you want for yourself, or when there’s love in the mix and you want to make another person happy. I never want you to prioritize my happiness over yours, Serena.”

“Hmm.” She felt too giddy to respond immediately with the same seriousness, so she answered in a teasing tone. “I’m not sure if that last one is an impossible demand or a very easy one, Sylv, because seeing you happy makes me very happy. Have you seen yourself when you’re happy? It’s gorgeous, and it’s contagious.” 

He breathed out sharply, half a laugh with half a smile to match, but there was still that little crease in his forehead, so she turned more solemn. “Sylv, I’ve wanted you for a long time. Everything you're asking of me, I want the same from you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything for myself. Um, except Dave. I mean. You know what I mean."

He tilted his head. "Are you asking for your own Dave? It’s a fair request."

"What? No! Um. I…" Serena frowned. "I don't really think I would want that." She studied Sylvando's face. "Does it bother you that I don't?"

"Well, if you did, I'd find it easier to be certain I was being fair to you."

Serena pursed her lips. "I think I liked Nohea at first because he was almost as lovely and as clever with his compliments as you, and I liked Pika because he had something of your kindness, but even back then, I kept comparing anyone else to you and finding them lacking." 

"At least they might have the good taste not to go on and on about their other lover on a day that should be all about you."

"Sylv, I think it's sweet that you and Dave care about each other. And when I think about you and him together, I'm truly not upset by it. It mostly just makes me feel, er, rather impolite."

"Impolite?" He looked puzzled at that. "I did ask you to."

Serena wondered briefly whether she might someday stop blushing in Sylvando’s company, or if she’d just stop noticing because it happened so frequently. “Not, um, every time that I’ve done it, you haven’t. And Dave never signed up for me to think about him, um. Doing things to you. So I try not to. But, er, it’s definitely not an unpleasant feeling that I get from the notion.”

“Oh!” Sylvando gave her a startled look, and then appeared to fight a smile as it spread across his face. He brought his fingertips up to cover his lips, but the smile peeked around the edges until he gave up and curled his fingers under his chin. “Well. I don’t think he’d be terribly offended over that, as long as you don’t expect him to actually do anything about it. I, ah, can’t quite envision the three of us in the same bed.”

“I wouldn’t, I’m not, I wasn’t trying to ask for that.” Her face was possibly on the verge of catching fire, now, but he'd finally, finally lost the edge of worry, and she wanted to soak in his smile just barely more than she wanted to hide her face. “I just thought it might make you feel better if I told you.”

“It does. Thank you, love.”

She felt him relax, and he caressed a hand down her side, and she suddenly realized he’d been nearly holding still all morning, as though uncertain whether it was appropriate for him to be so familiar with her until now. She smiled and shifted against him again for the thrill of it, and this time he responded with a little noise of appreciation that almost shut down her brain again.

Then “three of us in the same bed” popped into her head again, and she decided she needed a little more time between that and actually doing anything bed-related. Conversation. That was a good idea. What had they been talking about?

“Sylv? I don’t mind there being something between you and Dave, but I would rather like to know more about what that is. I don’t need all the details, not about that," she said, realizing as she spoke that this was probably the most awkward possible choice of a follow-up topic, but she did genuinely want to know. "I just want to get a better idea of what you are to each other.”

“All right. What would you like to know?”

“Hmm. What made you decide that you wanted to keep him?”

“Well.” Sylvando thought for a moment. “Before I met Dave, I was traveling by myself. I made friends, of course. Sometimes, ah, affectionate friends, but there was always an understanding that I was going to move on sooner rather than later. I had my quest to make the whole world smile, and I never found anywhere I really wanted to put down roots.

“Then one day, I met Dave, and he was a mysterious, brooding, handsome puzzle. I thought I'd solve the puzzle, and maybe if I was particularly fortunate he'd be one of the affectionate friends I'd leave behind smiling. But I suppose he was looking for someone to talk to, because he opened up right away. Gave me the solution to the puzzle. Only me. Somehow he decided to let me in and no one else. Maybe I was just in the right time at the right place, but I felt like I was special. I fell for him, hard. Then he offered up his ship for my mission, and he made a space for me, and for the first time in years, I felt like I had a proper home.”

He shook his head. “That makes it sound like it's about the ship. It's not, really. I mean, I do love the Stallion, like some people say they love a house they've lived in for years, but it's only home because of Dave. It's about knowing I can go anywhere in the world, and he'll always be waiting for me to find him there again.

“Not that he's turned me away when I've tried to say we should only be friends. But...Being around him in that situation was like the time I was a little boy, and the cook baked my favorite kind of cake for someone else, told me a good boy wouldn’t eat it, and left it out on the kitchen counter all day. I kept going and making excuses to go look at it, and fantasizing about ways to get closer to it, until the cook threw me out of the kitchen in the nick of time. Only in the situation I’m thinking of, I suppose it's more like the cook went to take a nap, and the cake started talking to me and said it would really like for me to eat it."

Serena bit her lip to try to prevent a laugh from bubbling out of her. “So, Dave is your favorite kind of cake?”

“Ah...well, it’s not a perfect metaphor. I mean. There are many kinds of cake, and, hmm.” He made a pained face. “I’m not sure I can dig my way out of this metaphor with more cake.”

Serena gave him a wry smile. “You don’t want to be just friends because he offers your favorite kind of lovemaking?” As she said it, the idea stung just a little, that she might be second best in this, but then there was also that little thrill of learning about something else that he liked, and as long as he still wanted her, too, she thought she could live with it.

“No, no!" He waved a hand in denial. "First of all, there’s more to it than the act. If there was no love between us, it would be easier to walk away from it. I thought I could do it when I didn’t realize how strongly he felt, but once I understood how much that distance was causing him pain, I couldn’t bear it. Second, I...well, I don’t think that I have a favorite, exactly. Serena.” He peered at her earnestly. “I do like what we shared last night. Very much. Please don’t doubt that. But some of the time, part of me…” He closed his eyes. “Some of the time, there’s something about letting a big, strong man take charge.”

To her astonishment, Serena realized Sylvando was actually blushing, something he often foretold but never actually did. Then she suddenly felt like a door had opened and she could see him more clearly than she ever had.

“You’ve never been just one thing, have you?” she said.

“Hmm?” He opened his eyes to look at her again.

“You protect someone in one breath, a knight to your core, and in the next, you’re mentoring them, teaching them how to stand on their own feet. You’ll be a leader until it makes more sense for someone else to step up, and you’ll switch to follower, or the other way around, follow until a leader is needed. You’re amazing at staying cheerful and carefree when people need you to be, but you worry and reflect over things, too. You keep a gentleman’s suit in your closet next to an elegant dress, and you love them both. This is the same thing, isn’t it? Two opposing aspects of you. You really are a diamond, with a dozen beautiful facets.”

He was watching her with wide eyes. “Serena," he said faintly, "I would like to make love to you again, now, if you’ll have me.”

She smiled and moved in to kiss him.


	17. Chapter 17

A couple of days passed before Serena woke up before Sylvando for the first time, finding him with an arm thrown across her waist and his face settled half on the pillow and half on her shoulder. Delighted by the novelty of watching him sleep, she held still for a few minutes before succumbing to the urge to stretch a cramped leg muscle, and her movement woke him up. She thought his face was like a sunrise, serene shifting to joyful as he found her next to him. Then he turned his head a little to gauge the level of light coming in through the window, and she spotted an irregular dark splotch at the corner of his eye, which hadn’t been visible until he moved.

“What happened to your face? Is this a bruise?” she asked, frowning and touching the mark very lightly with her fingertips.

He gave her a blank look for a moment, then pulled his hand up to nudge her fingers out of the way with his own, swiped at the mark, looked at his fingertips, and made a face like he’d unexpectedly bitten into a lemon. He levered himself up on one elbow, looked down at the pillow, sighed, and gave her a small smile without quite turning his face all the way back to her. She started to reach to turn his face back for her inspection, but he pulled away.

“No, it’s nothing. I should have just cleaned up earlier, but you’ve been making a persuasive case for coming to bed and staying here.” He reached for the drawer under the bedside table, pulled out a small mirror, and inspected his face for a moment. “Hm. Well, today begins with a lesson: don’t let me roll over in the night if you want to enjoy my lovely face in the morning.”

He pulled a small bag out of the drawer, extracted and dampened a cloth, and sat up with his back to her while he dabbed at his face. Serena propped herself up on one elbow. “Did I hurt you while I was asleep?” she asked.

“No, no, no. It’s just kohl, see?” He briefly turned the offending side of his face toward her and held up the cloth to show her the gray smudge now transferred to it.

“Oh,” she said, slightly startled and then relieved. “Good.”

He looked away again, then dipped his head in a nod, briskly threw on some fresh clothes, pulled a chair in front of the nightstand, sat, and propped up the mirror. He began to clean the other side of his face, swiping the cloth over his eye, and then folding the cloth to rub a fresh section over the rest of his skin.

“A proper magician doesn’t reveal the illusion,” he said conversationally, “So it’s been a long time since I’ve stripped all the way down with anyone watching. But I guess it’s silly to go out of my way to pretend in front of you, no?”

“Pretend?”

He took a moment to finish with the cloth, then turned toward her with another small smile. “That this isn’t a face of mine. That my normal face doesn’t take any time or effort.”

She blinked and studied his face more carefully. He did look different, in a way she found hard to pinpoint at first. The eyes, she thought, thinking of the smudge to orient herself. His lashes and eyebrows seemed faded, and something seemed odd about the shape of his cheeks and his jaw. 

He allowed her scrutiny for a moment, then abruptly turned back to the nightstand, pulling out a pouch from the drawer and a collection of small jars and tins and a razor from the pouch.

She watched him shave, though she hadn’t spotted any stubble, and she thought he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he picked up another jar and began to dab some kind of cream onto his face.

“Does it bother you if I watch?” she asked.

He shook his head. “It seems only fair. I wouldn’t want to mislead you into thinking I would naturally pass my unearthly beauty on to your children.”

Serena laughed. “Sylv, the face you’ve just shown me is still beautiful. In a little more of a rugged way, maybe, but I wouldn’t be at all sorry to spend time admiring it.”

He stilled and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “Beloved, you’re more than welcome to say such things to me after I wash up and come to bed, but please, while I’m in the middle of putting my face back on, don’t call me ‘rugged’.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s all right. I’m just...not in the right mood to handle being ‘rugged’ at a time like this.”

“I’ll be quiet.”

“Corazón.” He gave her a warmer look and leaned over to stroke her hand with the back of his fingers. “I do appreciate the sentiment.”

“Corazón?”

“Heart. Hm.” He looked back in the mirror and brought his fingertips back to his face, touching the dots of cream lined up across his cheek. “It’s a more romantic word when it’s not coming from a clown, I promise.” 

“Sylv…”

“Well. This will take a few minutes, so we might as well talk about something else. How long of an engagement do you have in mind?”

“Oh.” Serena watched him smoothing out his face, wondered how many more secrets he might have yet to share with her, and she wanted them all. “I don’t suppose I can marry you tomorrow and still manage to give you your big, beautiful wedding.”

He turned back to her with a sudden broad smile, and even with the uneven swirls of texture throwing his skin into a lively chaos, she found that the expression launched him far beyond beautiful. “Are you in a hurry, love?” he asked, tone soft and playful.

“Well, you’ve put me in mind of children with great mortal beauty, and I wouldn’t mind meeting them sooner rather than later.”

“Mm.” She must have gotten the compliment right this time, she thought, because he gave her a long, warm look before turning back to the mirror. “El’s due back at the end of the week. We could ask him for help making announcements. I think we could make it happen in a month or two, if you wanted to. Ah, depending on the details. Puerto Valor had popped into my head, but I shouldn’t assume.”

“Puerto Valor would be lovely. Though I’ll have some relatives who will need time to travel. I expect they can rent some sleds for the Snaerfelt, and the cliffs won’t be bad if Veronica’s there to help. They’ll be delighted to head somewhere warm for a change of scenery in the middle of winter.”

They talked over logistics, and Serena watched Sylvando sculpt his face back into its familiar form, and she felt happy in a way that had more to do with intimacy and companionship than the thrill of proximity to him.

  


* * *

  


By the time El showed up again with Erik in tow to watch the promised circus performance that combined the visiting and local troupes, Serena still hadn’t gotten over the unanticipated side effect of her recent nights with Sylvando, which was to say that watching him dance on stage made her feel rather flushed and distracted. She was grateful for the enchanted spotlights that made the stage bright and left the audience seating dark, and for the fact that her younger friends were paying attention to the show, or possibly each other, and not to her.

It wasn’t until after the show, when they found Sylvando in the crowd and Serena raised a hand to greet him, that Erik spotted the ring. “Wait, you guys…”

“Oh! You two...Congratulations!” said El.

“Thank you, El. Erik, darling! It’s been too long,” said Sylvando. “How is Mia?”

“She’s fine. Might be in trouble by now, but Jade promised to keep an eye on her. We let her loose in the castle for the evening,” Erik said absently as he maneuvered Serena’s hand to look at the other side of the ring. Serena remembered El’s hope that Erik would take up jewelry merchandising, and she wondered if he was appraising its value. “Knowing Sylvando, I’m a little surprised he didn’t give you a ring with a great fancy diamond involved,” he said.

“Oh, he did.” She looked at Sylvando, biting her lip in an attempt to restrain her smile at her own inside joke, and failing entirely. Sylvando didn’t bother with restraint, just gave her the smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes and took her free hand.

“Uh, okay. What happened to it?” Erik asked, when she didn’t say anything else.

“Er, nothing. Hey, El, we wanted to ask if you had a day coming up where we could borrow you for traveling. We have some people to talk to and plans to make.”

  


* * *

  


They went to Gondolia, first.

They found Dave doing maintenance on the deck of the Salty Stallion. “Oi, what’re you lot doing here so soon? And El! It’s good to see you, lad.”

“Hello, darling. We’ve had a teensy change of plans and we wanted to give you some advance warning. We’re looking to head back to Puerto Valor next week, if the Stallion’s not committed elsewhere. We’re, well. We have a wedding to prepare for.”

“Oh. Oh! Blimey. Congratulations!”

Serena watched Sylvando curl his fingers at his side, looking at Dave. She recognized the subtle traces of anxiety framing his smile. She saw Dave cross his arms.

“Sylv,” she said, “Would you mind staying here for a couple of hours and catching up with Dave? I need to borrow El and secretly talk wedding fashion, and I just remembered how much good fabric there is in the market here.”

Sylvando looked at her in surprise, and then his eyes turned very soft. He took her hand and gave it a hard squeeze. Cleared his throat. “All right. We’ll see you later, then, love.”

She gave him a smile, then the same to Dave, who stood still for a moment, then inclined his head very slightly to her.

When she reached the main city streets with El, his voice jolted her out of imagining Sylvando and Dave alone together, and she hoped her blush wasn’t too severe.

“So this means you’ll let me make your dress, right?”

“Yes. Yes, please, El. I really could use help figuring it out.”

“Okay. Have you decided whether you want to go all out, or if you’re going to let him be fancier than you? Because you know he’s not going to wear a plain black suit.”

“I know. And I haven’t decided. Do you think he’ll have a preference?”

“I think he’d be fine either way. How about you tell me what an Arborian wedding dress usually looks like?”

  


* * *

  


Next, Puerto Valor.

“Norberto! I didn’t expect you back so soon. And Serena, too.”

“Hello, papi! I’ve brought a young lady home to meet my papá, at last.” Sylvando raised up Serena’s hand, displaying the ring.

Don Rodrigo’s moustache hid the corners of his smile, but Serena recognized the crinkling at the corners of his eyes from Sylvando’s face. “Very good. It’s about time, boy.” Then he embraced Serena. “Welcome home, mija.”

  


* * *

  


The Snaerfelt, and the Royal Library.

“Serena! And El and Sylvando? Is anything wrong?”

Serena held out her hand, smiling. Veronica spotted the ring. “Ha! Finally! Did I, or did I not, tell you so?”

“You told me so. In front of witnesses, I concede: you were right about everything.”

  


* * *

  


Arboria.

“I knew it! Didn’t I tell you so, Veronica?”

“Yes, Mother. You were right about everything. No one else saw this coming, at all.” Veronica tried and failed to keep a straight face.

“I had my suspicions,” claimed their father.

El excused himself to go hunting for traditional Arborian wedding dress patterns while Serena took Sylvando to meet with old Benedictus and then made the rounds to introduce him to her other relatives. They all gathered at her family’s house for an early potluck dinner, and Serena watched Sylvando charm each of her relatives in turn. He never forgot a name, and he made sure to speak directly to each person at least once.

“Darlings, I am ecstatic to have met all of you, and I am exceedingly looking forward to seeing all of you again, but I’m afraid I am expected on a stage elsewhere this evening.”

El nodded, then looked at Serena. “Are you coming, too? I could come back here and pick you up in the morning, but I don’t think I have more than a couple of jumps left today. It’s getting itchy.”

Serena nodded, familiar with the discomfort he experienced after too many teleportation spells in too little time. She glanced at Veronica, her family, and Sylvando. “I think I ought to stay here tonight. I haven’t visited in a while.”

She felt a little pang of regret at watching Sylvando disappear. It was the first night she’d spent without him since before the fever dreams. But she was glad to see her family.

She slipped away to walk in the old grove with Veronica after sundown. She shivered, having forgotten that these would be cool autumn nights, here, but Veronica showed off a new spell to summon a floating globe that produced light and warmth. Then Veronica demanded more details about the proposal, the ring, the wedding plans. Serena happily complied.

Veronica didn’t interrogate her further about her recent sleeping arrangements, but Serena felt moved by sisterly duty to make an effort to share knowledge.

“I also found out, er...” Serena paused and eyed Veronica, still stuck in her little girl’s body. “Well. Maybe I should tell you when you’re older.”

“Serena.”

She winced at her twin’s withering tone. “Sorry. Sorry. Um. Okay. I found out, well. You remember...the talk.” She bit her lip, then finished in a rush, “It turns out there are other things you can do besides babymaking and it actually feels good for women too.”

Veronica opened her mouth. Shut it. Turned red. “Er. You...you don’t say.”

Serena eyed her. Frowned. “You knew! Didn’t you?” Knew she was equally red.

“How did you not!”

“How was I supposed to!”

“Didn’t you read that book when we were teenagers? Ronald the Stronghearted?”

“What, that ridiculous one about the man who kept...er. Being chased by women, who wanted to share his bed again…”

“Why else would they want to, if they didn’t enjoy it?”

Serena stared, then put her face in her hands. “I thought they were supposed to all be desperate to have his children. Because he was such a great hero, or something.”

Veronica snorted. “No wonder you gave me such a look when you gave it back. I thought you were just establishing that we should never speak of it aloud.”

“No, I just really, really didn’t understand why you’d recommend such an absurd story.”

Veronica sighed. “Well, sorry I dropped the ball. Thanks for being a good sister. But, uh. You can wait until I’m older to tell me anything else about it.”

  


* * *

  


Back in Gallopolis the next morning, Francine pulled Serena aside after a group meeting to go over provisioning. “Hey. Want me to sell your tent?”

“What?”

“It’d be no problem. I’ll put the funds back in the circus pot.”

Serena eyed her, torn between alarm at the realization that other people had some idea of the nature of their current lodging arrangements and a great dismay at the prospect of giving up said arrangements.

The acrobat sighed. “Look. No one cares. We already know you’re shacking up together. You might as well have less to carry through the desert.”

“I...all right. Thank you, Francine.”

“Really? Ha! That’s another thirty gold for me when I tell Chill.”

“Francine!”

“Kidding. Well, no, I’m not, but I meant it when I said no one cares.”

  


* * *

  


She was too exhausted at the end of each day and there wasn’t enough privacy for much to happen in a shared tent on the way to Gondolia, but she was still glad to be at Sylvando’s side throughout the journey. She felt a little self-conscious the first day she followed him out of their tent, but aside from a few knowing grins from the group, no one had much to say about it. She thought Maria was a tiny bit stiff when she greeted everyone the first morning, and she spent several long moments during the day worrying about it, but on the second day in the desert, the dragons returned of their own volition, and for the rest of the trip, Maria along with Mateo was clearly happy and preoccupied.

On the Stallion, Serena moved in to Sylvando’s cabin.

“This is all right? With Dave?”

“So he says. He’s always kept his own cabin. He doesn’t come in here, much. Ah, except. What day is it? Three days from now...I’m going to need to give him a day of my time, love. It’s the anniversary of, ah, something it’s not my place to say. But this might be the better space for it. We’ll move, if he still needs me after dark. If you don’t mind.”

“Of course.”

Three days was long enough that Serena built a new habit to head for the end of the hall instead of turning to the old room she’d shared with Francine and Chill. Then, in spite of a reminder in the morning, she still forgot about Sylvando’s request when Samir prompted her to fetch her harp.

She walked in without knocking, turning already to reach for her instrument in the corner, then froze as she realized the room was not empty.

Dave lay on the bed with Sylvando in a position that struck her as intimate, but not amorous. Sylvando reclined on his back, propped up on a stack of pillows, which was the only reason she could see his face past Dave’s broad shoulders. The larger man lay against his side, one arm and leg wrapped around Sylvando, and Dave’s face was tucked against Sylvando’s shoulder. As usual, Dave was shirtless, and Serena felt an extra shock at realizing his mask was off, revealing loose hair in a lavender shade that reminded her of Hendrik’s, but otherwise they were fully clothed. The only movement between them was Sylvando slowly stroking Dave’s hair, and he didn’t stop the motion when he lifted his eyes to meet Serena’s. His face was sad.

“Sorry,” Serena silently mouthed, lifted her harp, and crept out as quietly as she could.

She detoured into the kitchen, preparing an excuse that she wanted a drink of water, but the room was empty, so she took a couple minutes alone to try to get over her mortification at intruding on a clearly private moment before returning to the mess hall.

Samir was polite enough to not comment when she missed every sixth note on her harp, and he only suggested a simpler song.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m not too focused today, for some reason.”

“All right. We all have off days. Why don’t you put your harp away for now and we’ll try again tomorrow.”

“Right,” she said, but didn’t move.

Chill, sitting nearby with Francine to work on assembling wedding favors, looked around. “Where’s Sylv, anyway? I thought he was going to help us make these.”

“Ah...he’s busy with something else,” said Serena.

Francine looked at her, then said, “Hey, Serena. Have you seen my badge anywhere?” Serena looked back at her, blankly. “You know, from the club?”

She finally remembered Francine welcoming her to the Awkward Secrets Club. Was it months ago, now? “Oh. Right. Yes. I think I saw it in the cargo hold.”

Francine tilted her head. “Did you want to show me?”

“Um. Sure.”

She brought her harp while Francine led her away and shut the cargo hold hatch behind them. “They’re together, aren’t they? Are you okay?”

“I...yes. Mostly. I mean. I just walked in on them,” she admitted in a hushed tone.

“Oh, Goddess.”

“They weren’t in the middle of...that. But I still shouldn’t have gone in. I just forgot. I feel terrible for intruding.”

“You feel terrible just because of what you did?”

Serena nodded.

Francine shook her head. “You have a bigger heart than mine, Fairy Godmother. Were they mad?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think Dave noticed. I...I don’t know. I’ll talk to them later.”

“Well, you could hide your harp in here for now. And then in the meantime we can...have a girls’ night?”

“A girls’ night?”

“Um. Like...makeovers? Dress up, do each other’s hair? Don’t normal village girls like to do that?”

“That’s a girls’ night? On this ship?”

They both thought about it for a minute. “Okay, good point,” said Francine. “Sylv might not forgive us, and I’m not sure about Grey. Huh. Okay, how about dancing? That’s usually good for a distraction. Hey! Hey, you should teach us some traditional Arborian dancing!”

“What? Oh, it’s pretty simple, compared to anything else you all do.”

“That’s perfect, though, because we’ll have time to learn it. Don’t you have a boatload of relatives coming in? They’re not going to know any Puerto Valoran dances.”

“Oh, that’s a good point. That’s a really good point. Sylv already made Veronica and me show him a while back, anyway, so he already has a head start.”

They gathered up the troupe, discovered Samir had picked up some appropriate Arborian music when he was in Arboria, and Serena set about teaching the group. Their enthusiasm was such that Serena’s trace of self-consciousness about her role quickly faded, and having so many people paying attention to her made her focus on the task at hand.

“Sorry if I sound like I’m talking to you like you’re six years old. That’s who I was talking to, last time I taught this class,” she said with a smile.

“Great. Now we have to worry about outdoing a bunch of six year olds,” said Chill. “No pressure.” 

“Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll do almost as well,” Serena teased, and Chill gave her a grin.

She had them forming a circle and practicing the steps with linked hands, her own arms full of Lena to allow everyone else to participate properly, when she caught sight of Sylvando, leaning against the wall by the door, watching her with a small smile.

She swallowed, but waited until they finished the set. “Good. Think you can try that again at full speed?”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” said Francine. “Let’s go, Samir.”

Serena watched them for a few steps as Samir started over, faster, then nodded and carried Lena over to Sylvando.

“I see you’ve been busy, darling.”

“Francine’s idea. Sorry. I’m so sorry about earlier. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Well, something like that was bound to happen sooner or later, I guess.” 

“I feel terrible. Is Dave…”

“He’s feeling a little self-conscious. But I think he’ll be all right.”

“Should I go talk to him?”

Sylvando tilted his head. “You could knock on his door if you want to. I’m not sure how much he’ll have to say. I don’t think he knows how much he’ll have to say. And I’m afraid I don’t know the right answer, so I’m rambling. But I think it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

Serena excused herself from the practice, handed off Lena, left Sylvando to pick up a refresher course from the others, and went down to knock on Dave’s door.

He was wearing the mask again, of course. “Ah. Hello, Serena. I reckon you’d better come in.”

She glanced briefly at the room, registering flashes of color in the form of rugs and wall hangings, but she felt uncomfortable about gawking openly after what she’d already done that day. Dave gestured at a small stool and sat down on his bunk with his arms crossed.

“Dave, I’m terribly sorry about earlier. Truly, I didn’t mean to barge in like that, and it was inexcusably rude of me. I just wasn’t thinking at all.”

“Ah, well. No harm done.” He ran a hand down the back of his head. “Sorry you had to see that. I don’t usually...It’s only…”

“No, please don’t apologize. Sylv said it was an anniversary of something.”

“Aye. Over twenty years, but...eh, I’ve wallowed enough for one day.”

“I...Dave, I’m no Sylv, but if you did want a fresh ear to talk to, I’d listen. Or I can send him back in. Or just go. Sorry. I don’t want to make things harder.”

Dave chuckled. “Lass, I don’t know which of the two of you has a kinder heart. I am glad you’re marrying him. And I’m grateful to you for letting me keep him.”

“It wouldn’t be right to try to forbid it. He loves you. And I think you need each other.”

Dave was silent for a moment. Then he said, “Zwaardsrust.”

“What?”

“The anniversary of Zwaardsrust. You can tell Sylv I don’t mind if he talks to you about it.” He stood and stretched. “But like I said, I’m done wallowing for today. I’d best be getting up to check our heading.”

Later, while Sylvando lay next to her in the dark and told her more about Dave’s history as one of the very few survivors of the fall of Zwaardsrust, she felt that she had received another major key to understanding the two of them. Of course Sylvando wouldn’t walk away from someone carrying grief over an entire kingdom when they turned to him for comfort.

  


* * *

  


The evening before they were due to reach land, Serena glanced over at Sylvando, who sat at the table in their room revising a to-do list and letting his hair finish drying in loose waves, having washed the sweet-scented styling oil from it. She took a long, deliberate moment to focus on the pleasure of simply looking at him in an unguarded moment, then turned away and braced herself to dive into the overstuffed wardrobe.

Thus far, she felt this was the only downside of life with Sylvando, and she didn’t feel like she’d established a terribly effective strategy, yet. She wedged a hand in between the small section of her own dresses and the much larger bulk of Sylvando’s clothing and shoved as hard as she could, praying she wasn’t crushing some beloved embellishment beyond repair, and she tugged to unhook her clothing. It was a little too high for her to effectively shove and also reach the top of the wardrobe at the same time, so she only got two garments to come loose, and she sighed quietly as she resigned herself to only work on extracting those two first.

“Oh, darling.” She heard Sylvando’s steps coming across the room. “I said I’d make more room, and then I completely forgot, didn’t I? I’m sorry. Here.” He wedged his hands below hers and leaned to pull his collection out of the way.

The phrase “It’s all right” hovered at the tip of her tongue, but she was just disgruntled enough that it felt dishonest. “Thank you,” she said instead, and she pulled her whole assortment of clothing free.

“I guess I should do that while I’m thinking about it.” He waited until she withdrew to the foot of the bed with her spoils, then took her place in front of the wardrobe.

Feeling better, Serena sat to fold and pack her clothing for the stay in Puerto Valor while she watched Sylvando rifle through his own outfits. He pulled out an ensemble in black and white. “Hmm. Some of these are from old plays. I don’t think I’ll be acting the part of a butler any time soon.” He briskly folded it, placed it on the shelf at the top of the closet, and went back into the mix. He repeated the process with a green jumpsuit, a black leather vest, a short sabretooth fur cape, a long brown robe, and a tunic that looked like leather armor but folded up like linen.

Then he came to the purple dress he’d worn at Sanctuary, and he held it in his hands for a moment. He looked down at it, and without the oil he normally used during the day, his hair fell forward to frame his face. It put Serena in mind of Sylvia’s appearance that day, except that his face wasn’t quite the same, somehow.

Then she realized he’d washed his face already tonight, and that Sylvia’s face was, as best Serena could recall, identical to Sylvando’s day-to-day public face. The only real adjustment he’d made that day was to hide his sideburns. It hadn’t seemed noteworthy at the time, but then, she hadn’t even realized he was using cosmetics at all back then.

She thought he sighed, and he seemed to take extra care while he began folding the dress.

“Wait,” she said, and he went still. “Um. What if we go back to Sanctuary?”

“That probably won’t be for quite a while, love,” he said, but he didn’t move.

“Well, no, but it’ll wrinkle if you leave it folded up for a year, and it’s too nice for that.”

He hesitated a moment longer. “It wouldn’t bother you if we went back?” he asked.

“Why would...oh. Hmm. I guess I don’t know what we’d tell them about us. I couldn’t very well call you my husband.”

“You could call me your wife.”

She smiled. “I hardly think they’d be amused by…” She caught him watching her out of the corner of his eye, face neutral, like it was a serious suggestion.

She suddenly thought about a pair of women she’d seen in Gallopolis, sick and anxious and huddled together in an embrace, and the way she’d taken them for sisters, even though they looked nothing alike. Thought about an elderly pair of women she knew in Arboria who had shared a house and taken in an orphaned child to raise between them. Thought about the mechanics of the things Sylvando did with her in private.

She pressed a hand over her face. “Yggdrasil’s shade. Women can be lovers, too. Of course they can.”

A beat of silence, and then Serena picked up a faint trace of amusement in Sylvando’s voice as he answered, “Yes. In many places, they marry, and no one gives it a second thought. There were two couples who introduced themselves to me as such in Sanctuary.”

Serena sighed. “I really am as slow as Veronica always says, aren’t I?”

“I think I can see why you wouldn’t have thought of it back then, love.”

Serena lowered her hand and nodded. “Okay. Okay, next time we’re there together, you’ll be my wife.”

She caught a smile flash onto his face as he turned away from her, nodded, and finally reached to hang the dress back up.

Serena finished her packing and watched him for another few minutes, thinking about Sanctuary and Tina. She thought of Sylvia’s determined cheerful confidence and evident delight in her own appearance.

Finally, she said, “Sylv? Could I ask you a nosy, personal question?”

“There’s no one I’d rather hear it from.”

“All right.” She took a breath. “What does Sylvia mean to you?”

He went still again, and Serena bit her lip, fighting the urge to apologize for her nosiness, but then he swayed into something like a full-body nod, turned to walk over to her, and sat down on the bed next to her.

“Sylvia,” he began, then stopped. “Ay. This is a complicated story, usually much more trouble than it’s worth, and I’ve never figured out a very good way to tell it. Do you want the short version or the long version?”

“Well, I can listen to you for days, so as long as you like.”

“Okay. Well. Let’s see how the long version goes.” He folded his hands in his lap. “When I was a child, I had a governess who said I had two moods. She called it my brave mood, when I wanted to climb trees and go on adventures, and my nice mood, when I wanted to pay attention to other people and earn praise for good behavior. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized she meant something a bit different than what I was actually experiencing. And that not everyone felt the same way. ‘Mood’ is close, but it’s more than that. It’s…” He hesitated. “Well. Let’s jump ahead.”

He looked over at the wardrobe while he continued. “In the first circus I joined, our ringmaster was concerned about ruffians setting upon us in the night if they believed our group was too small. She encouraged four of the veterans to switch clothing between them for several performances in a week. She claimed that dressing convincingly as the opposite gender was the quickest way to get someone to believe you’re really a different person, and we could seem like we had almost double our number. This looked like a terribly fun challenge to me, so I offered to do the same with an older girl about the same size as me.”

“And you invented Sylvia?”

He nodded. “Sylvando and Sylvia. The names weren’t the most subtle part of my costumes, but I was young, and I was dedicated to making the rest of it work. The others with more experience switching costumes told me that I should work on developing a different personality for each role, so I decided to work on sticking to my so-called brave mood while I was Sylvando, and my nice mood while I was Sylvia, since that seemed like the most obvious starting point. In fact, it fit very well. No one questioned a boy doing the kinds of things I already preferred to do while I was in my brave mood: the bravado, showing off anything that appeared particularly dangerous or requiring great technical skill or strength. And when I was in my nice mood, I very much liked being a girl. I could work on being as friendly and charming and, ah, pretty as the other women in the troupe, and I only got praise for it.”

“Your mood never changed while you were acting out a given role?”

“Well, that’s the thing. I was still thinking of them as moods when I joined the circus, but really, it was a bit more like I already had two different personalities that were just waiting for the costumes to go with them. I started thinking of them as my boy mode and my girl mode instead of brave and nice moods, which weren’t entirely accurate labels anyway. As Sylvia, I could be brave, like when I walked the tightrope, although the part I usually liked best about it in the moment was making it look graceful and effortless. As Sylvando, I could be nice, and I certainly still loved getting a smile out of someone, though I usually had the urge to respond to tears by offering a distraction rather than talking it over. I picked up juggling and whips and grandstanding as Sylvando, acrobatics and dancing and flirting as Sylvia, partly because that was how the troupe tended to divide the roles of men and women on stage, but also because while I was in my girl mode, I loved different aspects of performance than I did while I was in my boy mode.”

Serena thought about the many shows in which she’d seen Sylvando juggling and dancing in the same night. “How often did you switch roles?”

“Once a day, for the most part. That gave us time to practice in the morning whatever we were going to do that evening. That was the first time I really made a conscious effort to stick to one version of myself for longer than a single activity, and I found waiting any longer than about a day to switch was uncomfortable. A few times, I had to play the same part two days in a row when my partner was sick and the show called for a large group of only men or only women on stage, and that was a bit of a struggle. I’d try as hard as I could to stick with it, but it’s like a sort of pressure would build up, and I’d eventually switch modes in my head whether I wanted to or not. Then I’d be stuck in the wrong mode for the costume, and performing was not such a joy at that point.”

“I almost can’t imagine you ever being unhappy about performing.”

He smiled at that. “Well, as a girl, I could juggle, but I never reliably reached the same feeling of focus with it, so I tended to fumble when I was doing anything near the edge of my skill level. As a boy, I could dance, but I wasn’t as good at improvising, so if I ever got out of step during a routine, I think it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t intentional, especially in those early days. Even the costumes didn’t feel right, and I’d start to get a bit snippy.”

He fell silent for a moment, so Serena asked, “Why did you stop dressing as Sylvia?”

“There came a day when that troupe disbanded. I decided to start traveling on my own as a wandering entertainer and see what I could make of myself. At that point, it didn’t make sense to me to try to pretend to be two different people. I’d walk into a town alone, and then what? Pretend I’d brought my sister stuffed into my pack? Besides, it was the first time I’d traveled alone. I had to carry everything I owned, and it didn’t take me long to realize it wasn’t going to be practical to carry along two very different sets of costumes.”

“So you gave up Sylvia.”

He shook his head. “I knew by then that I couldn’t stop switching modes in my head. And I liked who I’d become, both ways. Thinking about getting rid of one or the other was like thinking about whether to cut off my arms or my legs. Even thinking of choosing either very manly or very ladylike clothing to wear on a long journey made part of me unhappy. So, I compromised. I found a couple of costumes that I felt reasonably happy wearing in either mode, and I went back to letting myself switch whenever it felt like I should.”

He stopped and looked at her sideways again. “Okay,” Serena said. “So Sylvia is half of my Sylvando?”

“More or less, yes.”

He seemed to be waiting for questions, so Serena said, “You have more than a couple of costumes, now, though. How long have you had that dress?” After she asked the question, she remembered overhearing Dave asking the same thing in a more disparaging tone, and she winced, then tried to smooth out her expression as Sylvando turned to look directly at her.

“Some years. A year or so into my solo career, I went back to Heliodor for a while and met a little community of people who aren’t quite manly or womanly in all the ways their families imagined they’d grow up to be. Some of them used to do shows involving men dressing as women to dance or sing, and I resurrected Sylvia for that. That’s where I met Tina. She used to lend me dresses when I was in town, before I met Dave and had somewhere to stash a dress of my own.”

“Tina doesn’t switch back and forth, though, right?”

“No, not anymore. That is, I don’t think she ever really went back and forth in her head, but when I first met her, she was still wearing trousers most days.”

“But you knew others who had those two modes?”

He touched a finger to his chin for a moment, looking thoughtful. “I’m not absolutely certain, because it wasn’t considered polite in that group to ask questions like that outright. But I don’t think so. Not exactly the same way I do. At the risk of sounding like I’m advertising a show: There’s no one quite like me.” He struck a pose, touching his chest and gazing toward the ceiling, then relaxed with a little self-deprecating smile. 

“No one?”

“Well. Of course I’ve yet to meet everyone in the world, and I don’t go around announcing all of this about myself, so it’s certainly possible there’s someone, somewhere. But I put myself in front of a lot of people, and most of them take me as an unusually feminine man, which is enough for a lot of folks who feel a bit different from the norm to come looking for me and confide, or for other people to introduce me to their most unusual friends. So I’ve met a great variety of people in my travels, and some of them are a bit like me. Two...maybe three, who felt like they were neither a man nor a woman, and two others who are maybe closer to the way I am. One of those had shifted from being a woman to a man and then back to a woman over the span of a decade. The closest I’ve ever found was one older person in a small town who tended to uncontrollably slide between being a man and woman several times per day. That person kept different hats on hand to signify when they wanted to be addressed as man, woman, or neither, and the neighbors were all used to it, so they kept up with their sirs and ma’ams better than I did,” he said with a smile. “But no, I’ve never known anyone precisely like me.”

“You do have a lot of hats in there,” Serena said, gesturing at the wardrobe.

“I do. But I don’t plan to start asking people to start calling me ma’am.”

“Why not?”

“Well. It’s true that much of the time I feel like a lady, and I act something like a lady, and I keep my appearance in a range where lady Sylv can find something to like about it, but I don’t want to commit to publicly being a lady. Like I say, it gets uncomfortable to do it for longer than a day, and it gets complicated to do it in the short term in public outside of very specific situations.”

“The sister-in-your-luggage problem. But what if people knew it was still you?”

“Hmm. Still complicated. Different people take it differently, and often not well, if they haven’t met anyone who’s openly challenged the local traditions for how men and women should behave. Sometimes a mere man sincerely using a few feminine mannerisms pushes their comfort zone. I think the best case in many places is that they would take it as a joke, a man dressing up as a woman for laughs, especially when I show up as an entertainer, and...well, I’m vain enough as a lady to find that distasteful.”

“I see.” 

“Besides which, I don’t personally enjoy it when people can’t decide what they’re supposed to call me. That’s the biggest reason I decided to keep this,” he said, bringing up a hand to touch the short hair lining the side of his face. “It keeps everyone from having to think about it.”

“Okay, I’m sure this is a silly question, but why not explain all of this to more people?”

“Well. Every other time I’ve had this conversation, except for the friend with the hats, I’ve gotten about three minutes in, tops, and then I’ve had to stop and argue that I really do know what’s going on in my head. Even if the listener is familiar with some of the variety of humankind. Even Tina, for example. I’m almost certain she still thinks I’m just fooling myself, and that I ought to start living as a woman all the time, and she’s just trying to be polite by only asking about it once every time I see her.”

Serena remembered accidentally eavesdropping on Sylvando’s conversation with Tina the day of Sanctuary, and that led her to think once again about the sharp words she’d overheard later from Dave. She pressed her lips together.

“Darling, please don’t make faces and not say anything right now.”

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to bring up something that might be unpleasant.”

“Right now, I think I’d rather you do that than leave me to make it up in my head.” He smiled like it was a joke, but she suddenly thought of every other time he’d confided a secret to her, and when he’d spoken of his anxiety over what people would think of him, and she realized he must be just as anxious now. Serena felt a surge of remorse and reached to take his hands.

“Sylv. I’m making you nervous, aren’t I? I’m sorry. All I’ve been doing is asking questions, but it’s only because I’m interested. I love hearing anything about you. I love you. I’m not hearing anything that’s going to change that.”

He let out a slow breath and swayed towards her until his shoulder pressed into hers and his forehead dropped down onto the top of her head. “Maybe this conversation isn’t always more trouble than it’s worth. Thank you.”

Serena smiled and leaned back against him for a long moment until he straightened up again and said, “Really, though, if you have any little concerns or worries, I’d like to hear them.”

Serena shook her head. “I had wondered if you would want to start living as a woman all the time, and that was a little bit hard to wrap my head around. I...I’m not quite certain if it would matter to me, since I just found out women can marry, but I, um, I don’t know what I’d say to people if I was with child and I couldn’t introduce you as my husband.” She felt the familiar blush touch her face, but she didn’t mind it today. “But it doesn’t seem like that’s actually a relevant concern.”

“No. I’ll be happy to show up as your husband any time you want me to, whether I’m feeling gentlemanly or not.” He leaned over again and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “But what was the face for, then?”

“Oh, that.” Serena caught herself making the same face again and sighed. “Sorry. I’d just remembered the day we went to Sanctuary, and we came back to the ship, and, um. I never told you that I was in the kitchen while you were talking to Dave in the hallway that night. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, and I didn’t hear everything, but...well, he didn’t seem to appreciate the dress.”

“Ah.” He looked away. “You may have noticed I have a bad habit of keeping secrets long past the point of good sense, and Dave doesn’t ask me terrifying questions the way you do. So I suppose I haven’t always given him as much as he deserves, and that was the first time this came up.”

Serena decided to let the “terrifying questions” comment slide for the moment. “He’d never seen the dress?” she asked instead.

“No. I think he’s intimidated by my wardrobe.”

“Mm,” Serena said neutrally.

“I also already knew that he’s had some trouble understanding people who give up living as a man in favor of being a woman, and although he’s gotten much better about respecting that sort of thing, I had told myself there was no reason to bring up my own peculiar variation so long as he didn’t have a problem with my normal appearance or the way I act. I figured it didn’t matter, and I’d just keep the dress stashed away in case I planned another extended stay in Heliodor. Only, it had been years since I’d last properly dressed up, and when the opportunity dropped into my lap all of a sudden, it was completely irresistible.” He shrugged. “I haven’t felt the need since then, but maybe four years is too long. I guess I like to prove that I remember how, every so often.”

“Kind of like dressing up for a festival? Back home, that’s ages spent braiding hair. I wouldn’t do it every day, but it’s rather satisfying when I feel like I’ve managed to go out looking reasonably comparable to the other ladies who are also bringing their best.”

“Hmm. Yes, very much like that, I think.” He gave her a momentary smile before continuing. “In any case, I’m not sure what I expected from Dave that day. I knew very well that he’s not attracted to women. I tried to tell him that I wasn’t really revealing some big change, that I wasn’t any different from the person he’d always known me to be, and he sort of went along with that, but later, I told him that he always makes me feel like a woman, and, well. It took a few days for things to be quite okay between us again.”

“He’s okay with your lady side, now?” Serena asked, then bit her lip, still uncertain how deeply she should pry into their relationship.

“In the end, he told me he can see me as sometimes having the mind of a woman in the body of a man, and he doesn’t mind that. Which suits me just fine. As long as he doesn’t talk about how rugged I am,” he added, smiling.

“Oh, dear. You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Well. You still haven’t told me I’m rugged or manly while I’m being a gentleman.”

“Oh. Sorry. Um...”

He flapped a hand dismissively. “I’m teasing, love. I don’t care quite as much about the content of compliments while I’m a gentleman. As a lady, I don’t need everyone to see me as female, but it can get under my skin if someone points out how I’m unfeminine. Especially with the parts of my appearance that are more under my control.”

“You mean your face?”

“Yes. I don’t always love the look of my naked face, and I don’t really like to show off my arms unless I’m standing next to someone like Dave.”

“Does it bother you to come across as feminine while you’re a gentleman?”

“Not really. Sometimes it strikes me as a little bit funny, in the moment. I guess it can ruffle my feathers if I’m trying to do something very manly and someone tells me I’m too ladylike to do it. I can recall straining a muscle or two trying to prove a point.” 

“Okay. It sounds like I should try to be careful about what I say at different times, and I can think of a few times, looking back, where I might know which mode you were in, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to tell all the time.”

“Beloved, don’t worry about that. I’ll feel better if I know you’re not worrying about it. I promise I’ll let you know if you say something that actually bothers me. Of course, if you’re curious, you could ask whenever you really want to know.”

“All right.”

“I guess I ought to tell you this much up front. As a lady, I love you, and I want to be around you, I like the idea of romantic gestures with you, and I’m looking forward to a life with you. But I only find myself particularly, ah, amorous around men. Man. Dave. It’s been a long time since anyone’s gotten more than a passing look from that part of me besides Dave. As a gentleman, all those things are true except the last. As a gentleman, I’ve never particularly cared about the specific parts involved, as long as there’s something interesting to do with them, and a worthwhile person attached to them.”

He ran his thumbs over the back of her hands and gave her a smile that suddenly struck her as being much more playful and confident than anything he’d given her all evening, and she blinked. “Which are you right now?”

“Gentleman, love.”

“Were you a lady a minute ago?”

“Yes. Then I started thinking about interesting things to do with you.” His smile broadened for a moment before he turned serious again. “You’re welcome to keep asking me questions, but I might be slightly less talkative for a little bit. It’s not easy to switch twice in a row, especially if I’ve been in the other mode for a long while. Which I was, even before you brought up this discussion. I’ve been making a habit of being a lady all evening so I can be a gentleman with you later.”

“Hmm.” Serena felt an urge to investigate that smile, but one more burst of curiosity ran through her. “Are you usually a lady after I ask my terrifying questions?”

“Oh, absolutely. The gentleman is inclined to run away at a time like that.”

Serena laughed, half amused and half embarrassed. “Sorry. I really don’t mean to terrify.”

“Serena, I’m glad of your terrifying questions. I’ve yet to regret answering any of them.”

“Oh. That’s good.” The embarrassment washed away in the warmth of Sylvando’s expression. “Well, then, I hope you won’t run away if I ask just one more question.”

“What’s that?”

“What sort of interesting things were you thinking about doing with me?”

“Ah. In this case, it might be simpler to show than to tell.”

“Of course. I’ve heard that you rugged, manly types aren’t very talkative.”

He laughed, low and warm, and reached for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: In case you haven't encountered the term "bigender" outside of the tag on this fic, this is absolutely not the One True Representation.
> 
> WIP note: I still don't know if this is going to come out to 18 or 19 chapters.
> 
> Edit to add that I was originally trying to avoid rambling a ton in author's notes, but I've concluded that I'm going to feel better if I explicitly state the following for the record:
> 
> This whole story is not intended as a manual for how to handle complicated life things. It's only a story about one way people might choose to handle them. It's also specifically prioritizing canon compliance with the English version of the game, wherein Sylvando never appears to mind he/him pronouns, and no romance is ever shown between Sylvando and Dave even though they had plenty of opportunity to announce an established relationship if it existed and they wanted people to know.
> 
> (Much love to folks who choose other ways to be!)


End file.
